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Accepting that I'm more of a nerd than I thought, one piece of technology at a time.

287 Following   88,600 Followers   57,765 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/24/11

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@wilw Totally sexting me on Twitter, dude.@AnneWheaton @wilw Ruby is thankful for her mentor Seamus & his wise teachings in ‘A Guide To Being A Dog’.
Retweeted by Anne Wheaton@oceanbound Thank you, Ana. I hope you're having a great day! ❤️And a uh...happy holiday to you as well. ❤️❤️❤️"Did you bring me Thanksgiving snacks? I like Thanksgiving snacks."🦃💨@KaylaCagan Same to you and Josh!@Chico6 🐾🐾❤️@dumbleao YES.I am so thankful for my family. You're wonderful humans and you're totally my favorite. ❤️ @wilw Happy Thanksgiving, Sam!@DolingCharles I think you're confused with someone else. Happy Thanksgiving!I am so thankful for my husband. He's my best friend and I love everyday we get to spend together. am so thankful everyday for these rescue pets in our lives. They bring much joy and have so much love to give. ❤️ am thankful for being easily amused. #vandaleyes #TBT
@bergopolis EW.@PatrickRothfuss Don't crush the giblets.@bektrent @wilw Oh, wow. That took a long time to get to you. Glad it made it safely!@AnneWheaton 'Cuz we're #adults. #Christmascheer #funinTarget
Retweeted by Anne WheatonSome pre-turkey fun! @AnneWheaton
Retweeted by Anne Wheaton@AnneWheaton Tis the season! For bonus points, done WHILE employees were restocking the section! 😈
Retweeted by Anne Wheaton@KCCOPittsburgh Snakes. Why does it have to be snakes. 😉.@AnneWheaton Okay so it's not at @Target but FYI here's how you make soap dirty.
Retweeted by Anne WheatonMy torso has become a nap ramp for Watson. "Hey everybody, let's be nice to others!" "Um, ACTUALLY ..."
Retweeted by Anne WheatonI sure hope life gets better for such negative people. Living that way must be exhausting.Comparing refraining from Black Friday shopping to also not going to a hotel or to a hospital is um...not exactly a comparison, neat person.@AnneWheaton @KimberBlodgett @grendelrick This never ceases to amuse me.
Retweeted by Anne WheatonWhen someone responds to your tweet intended to be about compassion with their own list of negativity. @grendelrick Look at my spreadingholidaycheer tumblr I started last year. It's all about spelling awesome stuff in stores!my tryptophan face
Retweeted by Anne WheatonOk, these are adorable. Whoa. She is going to be huge!@cmpriest Eliot is 8 months and nowhere near that big. We're thinking she might be part munchkin cat. Her legs are oddly short.@cmpriest Damn. I think she's going to be a big kitty. How old is she?@scalzi Ahh...the 'ol feeling insecure so putting down others in order to feel better. Classic.Spend time with your family, and allow retail workers the same. Thanksgiving night and Black Friday shopping can wait. ❤️🦃❤️@cmpriest She's growing up so fast! Eliot doesn't seem much bigger to me yet. The hell?@LyssaPearl HOORAY!!
@ValsheaMiredhel Small things definitely help in big ways. 😊@AthynaQ I love this. Thank you. 😘@Chico6 That would be AWESOME.👠👠@insert_funny Good idea. 👍SOOOOOON. Humanity: Be better than this. Nordstrom has a bra that's basically reusable adhesive cups that hook together in front. You adjust for cleavage! It's AWESOME.@Stepto Oh, damn. I'll be right over.🎶 It's the most wonderful time of the year. 🎶 @AnneWheaton
Retweeted by Anne Wheaton@pemberliegh HA! DO EEET.@ClareGrant 😉☃🎄Confession: I caved and listened to Christmas music in the car yesterday. I thought you should know that.
@midnight Needs more ham. #BlackFridayIn3Words@geekgirlcali It's a wonderful indulgence. 😉@impstrump It's gel polish. Pink on bottom, clear with glittery confetti on top.@CritmasElf GROSS.@punk1984 HAHAHA!@TallysTreasury Hahaha!Got my nails done did like Robin Eggs Easter candy because uh...happy Thanksgiving? #girlytweet 💔How considerate of Google!'s special.It's like Google is all " is like, a holiday other places but not here so we'll just call it the day after that first holiday."I know the day after Christmas is Boxing Day in other countries but not here. This is the first time I've seen it excluded in a calendar.Google automatically fills in birthdays, holidays, and after holidays into the calendar. How lovely. And not a single flame thrower was used. Hooray!@rheidolj Of course not! Rotten kitty.@LyssaPearl @geekfitgirl Gold Bond lotion is your friend. They also have an awesome foot cream and a hand cream that I love.
*Tiny Taps* 🎶🎺🎶 #mousepocalypseI'm bummed Marlowe killed the mouse but I'm pretty sure she saved me from it getting on my bed again. That was too close. #mousepocalypseI had gone to bed (yes, the original scene of the crime) when I heard Marlowe do two stomps on the floor. She caught the mouse 4ft from me.#mousepocalypse Mouse: 0 Marlowe: 1@hollyamos22 The worst.@michelemorrow 🔥🐭🔥@bookoisseur Oh god. Hahaha!@wilw DAMMITHA! They're little box type humane traps to catch live mice for release. They won't hurt the cats. 👍#mousepocalypse update: Set traps, left house for 3 hours, came back, BOTH TRAPS EMPTY. That's it. Deploying all 3 cats. IT'S ON, MUTHAFUCKA@WheatonEliot @wilw It's entirely possible. 😉@Saffron132000 Nothing has been returned to us so far. It's a 9x13 document style mailer. Would that fit in your mailbox?@vdub01 @wilw The directions say to release it two miles from home. ROAD TRIP!@radagast22 @wilw I sleep in a hotel. 👍🐭@bookoisseur Ok. :-)Now we wait to see which trap it chooses based on style and placement. The contest begins. #mousepocalypseNot a creature was stirring, not even that damn mouse. So I picked the trap on the left, @wilw's is on the right. OH.MY.GOD.But I'll explain that soon. #mousepocalypseThere's not enough room here to explain how the mouse actually first appeared in my pajamas 4 hours before it ran across my face last night.In case you haven't read this, I've written about rodents on my face once before. This mouse fear is justified. is trying to figure out why there's peanut butter in the bathtub. At this point, so am I. #mousepocalypse nothing says "HEY DUMB MOUSE!" quite like peanut butter at the bottom of a slippery tub it can't get out of. Or possibly in to.MOUSE UPDATE:It's still hiding. Getting a humane trap but in the meantime, I'm luring it into my tub w/peanut butter NOOOOO.🔥🏠🔥🐭🔥@Rileah I can't believe I knew exactly what it was and launched out of bed so fast. THE HELL.Eliot found the mouse. She enjoyed the squeak it made so she let it go to catch it again. She missed. Now it's under the bathroom cabinet.@MaraWritesStuff @wilw OH GOD.So, you know. Just another day of glamorous life in the Wheaton household. 🐭I saw it run across Wil and onto my floor. Seamus chased it under my dresser and I haven't seen it since. IT'S WAITING TO EAT MY FACE OFF.
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