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He who would trade liberty for security deserves great customer service

544 Following   19,674 Followers   1,634 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/6/13


Err, yeah, sorry about that. Hang tight, brb, we’ve got our top people on it. https://t.co/vFvt0aQGP5
6/28
2017
Our new boss has just asked us to search our system for any “journalists" who have used the phrase “small hands” — this could take a while.
1/26
2016
https://t.co/ySCIMljtxq
11/8
2016
👁 A walking tour of New York’s massive #surveillance network https://t.co/fJrg03djEs
9/26
2016
@FuxNet @APT1337 @musalbas @aaronbarr @DoubleJake Indeed 🔭📹📷👀
9/22
2016
If Trump wins, I'm moving to Honalee.
7/31
2016
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. https://t.co/ppOzOSEHMZ
Retweeted by PRISM US GovNo, no, @realDonaldTrump: the whole idea is that *we* get *their* emails.
7/27
2016
@neonheretic so are we. #protip you could use a little more bran 😜
6/23
2016
We’ve doubled our searches for your data in 2 years — your tax dollars hard at work! https://t.co/sflJHdZkzE
5/4
2016
.@0xUID Very!
3/10
2016
#BRB Off to the Genius Bar with a quick question!
2/25
2016
#SB50: Land of the Free™* *Terms and conditions may apply https://t.co/l3bLLf6iI8
2/8
2016
@cnyr3bel Agent R3bel, Can you hold off faxing? Our machine's out of ink!
1/26
2016
We've just posted our Civil Liberties and Privacy Reports — because we support both #jk https://t.co/OOr7MoBVcx
1/15
2015
@MyTinehNimjeh Yes, hello. $100k seems reasonable. Who do we make the check out to? Oh wait, we already know that. Cc @occbaystreet @suqdiq
12/24
2015
You better watch out! You better not cry You better not pout We're telling you why We just intercepted Santa’s list https://t.co/B3ugXDqhLJWe see you when you're sleeping We know when you're awake We know if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake!We're making a list Checking it twice; Gonna find out Who's naughty or nice In our database — no gift, no dice The NSA is coming to town!
12/23
2015
.@Snowden Dude, do you have to spoil all our fun? @_Cryptosphere Yes. Sorry about that. Enjoyed the @VanityFair story (and your nudes!) btw ;)
12/18
2015
Seems our friends over at #GCHQ have some job openings https://t.co/w9xOFsoBcK
11/20
2015
We're counting down hours until the deadline to end bulk collection of U.S. phone call data https://t.co/g2SZnnggdP 😭😫😱😩😭
10/22
2015
Pretty much! https://t.co/564oi0Cf1w.@Snowden Hey Ed, Nice to see you on Twitter. What you up to today? Send photos 😜👀📷📹🔭 #FF @Snowden 🔭📹📷👀
9/29
2015
@asshurtmacfags depends how we edit the tape ;)
9/25
2015
@MyTinehNimjeh @crookedkingEd @MrBeagleman @BradMossEsq @ninaism @wikileaks awesome isn't it?
8/1
2015
Loving this new auto redact font! http://t.co/jxmQh8M6Iu http://t.co/r6LgofHCjs
7/23
2015
@jeffreycarr @ashleymadison fortunately our employees don't need accounts since we can easily see who's married but up for it ;) #winning
7/21
2015
@MyTinehNimjeh has anyone ever told you what a great collection of memes and nudes you have on your hard drive? #kudos
7/19
2015
Too late. We were unbelievably bored looking thru your hard drive “@_cypherpunks_: I don't want the NSA to know that I have nothing to hide"
7/15
2015
Trust us. Use this. We'd never abuse our power ;) http://t.co/tfuFFl3wDP
7/13
2015
An inside look at one of the most awesome programs of mass surveillance in human history: http://t.co/y4uQJtYuYC http://t.co/vtSQgELNiy
7/10
2015
We <3 #cookies https://t.co/62iT9XogIV http://t.co/xOORos0LqP
7/9
2015
@MatthewKeysLive oops, sorry about that. having issues with our malware. @evacide @Bruce_Schneier well, we're all for going in the backdoor ;)
6/24
2015
@FuxNet Ditto :D @blackplans @SuitsandSpooks @MyTinehNimjeh where should we send the check? also, please provide fully completed w-9.
6/21
2015
@DeathparadeNL Your secret is safe with us ;) cc. @Samurai_Lucy @anonycast @YourAnonNews @anonycast @Samurai_Lucy @YourAnonNews Yes, hello, we can confirm Agent Lucy is one of our own ;) @Samurai_Lucy Yes, please, Agent Lucy. We hear he needs a security detail at #SuitsAndSpooks ;)
6/20
2015
@stewartsmith @ioerror moar dick pix plz. @Samurai_Lucy Yes. Please log in and log IRC as usual.
6/19
2015
@Samurai_Lucy Ohai Agent Lucy.
6/16
2015
@jonronson Don't worry. We already looked in there. It's just a mouse.
6/11
2015
Are we transcribing your phone calls? Maybe!?! http://t.co/bEuH9Icss4 http://t.co/5yv1UFx1Qy
6/8
2015
Thanks to the USA Freedom Act we have the freedom to collect data on your calls again http://t.co/toiGG44VEe
6/7
2015
W00t. Just got another 60 days!!! #FreedomAct
6/3
2015
.@PRISM_NSA Only a fool thinks this has stopped.
Retweeted by PRISM US GovLe sigh https://t.co/MlZeKRwBzm#PatriotAct https://t.co/BxaMSH5S6cOur office right now https://t.co/XhHzHVRrDYhttps://t.co/d2ylOi8Dt1
6/1
2015
URGENT: Call 1-920-END-4-215 and tell YOUR lawmaker how awesome you think mass surveillance is!A Sunset Is A Beautiful Thing http://t.co/4ikVtvImE3
5/31
2015
#ifthepatriotactexpires http://t.co/m5boZridci#IfThePatriotActExpires http://t.co/QSBYWgw9APWe can neither confirm or deny the existence of PRISM. http://t.co/YwgnK1DoOJ Cc. @MatthewKeysLiveWe are drowning in information http://t.co/AihfF2PYBP#IfThePatriotActExpires: ISIS, Hellfire, Doom!!! https://t.co/gifBXZf9EV#IfThePatriotActExpires http://t.co/IHeslQxGdb http://t.co/rEB2sMSOav#IfThePatriotActExpires http://t.co/xAkB8Nbd9z @seanbonner @m67smith No wonder we were getting poor search results when we used #Silverlake as a selector. Thanks for the tip Agent Bonner!Nope “@CassandraRules: You’re Kidding, Right? #NSA Chief Calls for ‘Open, Reliable, Safe’ Internet http://t.co/LoegPAQePO
5/28
2015
.@seanbonner the conversations we overheard you overhear on the streets of Silverlake today are amazing. #meta #datahttp://t.co/aDTxnMrPf5
5/27
2015
Anyone want to buy some high capacity hard drives? We have a building full of them we no longer have (legal) use for http://t.co/bIZuwQRYpT
5/26
2015
Has @RandPaul stopped talking yet? Asking for a friend. @kaepora Yes. No problem. Agent @Shm00pRL is on his way over with coffee and donuts.
5/21
2015
Shit! We wondered where we'd left our copy of @Greg_Palast's Best Democracy Money Can Buy — Oops!!! http://t.co/qV41P2VXVlHuge thanks to Agent @kaepora for manning our booth. http://t.co/9Za8KNuTcp
5/20
2015
.@EFF We're above the law. https://t.co/mb23fIterT
5/17
2015
True story bro ;) RT “@ringoffireradio: RFK, Jr.: The NSA Knows Everything About You http://t.co/o1Qi6kB386 @postessive yep. #reported
5/14
2015
@allshiny lol. sorry about that <3
5/13
2015
We lol'd RT @BobTheSuit: I'm not worried about people seeing my search history because I end all my searches with "asking for a friend." @subverzo yes, hello. @trevortimm Well, we did know you we're going on vacation ahead of time. Loved the holiday photos btw ;)
5/11
2015

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