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comedian. writer (currently: the president show). i'm here because @alyssawolff said she'd bring snacks. alison (dot) leiby (at) gmail (dot) com.

1,129 Following   14,906 Followers   21,453 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/4/10


I am ANTI HORSEA bus just went by me and it sounded like a horse.🤖NYC: Sun 10/22 @AlisonLeiby hosts a doozy w/ @JonnyFisch @RyanJayDonahue @kathbarbadoro @KennyDeForest… https://t.co/ca3Ef3iSft
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @lisa_curry you're on the wrong side of this.Trigger Warning: Gouda I do not like gouda.Cows are the dogs of horses.I have a name. https://t.co/a98Oi73HaR @SelenaCoppock omg it's so good @chrisdcomedy @robertistheMan @AlisonLeiby @Jiggycomedy with hosts @tomdelgers @courtmaginnis WHAT MORE DO U PPL WA… https://t.co/gaVf9bGlFo
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10/17
2017
@doperoush she's perfect. @doperoush i'm really enjoying these fiona apple tweets!Living in a fourth floor walk up and also working in a fourth floor walk up really strengthens my ability to constantly complain. @MarciaBelsky I was too busy barfing into my purse when I HEARD what was happeningIt seems easier to have the small group of women who haven't been victims of sexual harassment/assault tweet something. #MeTooSaw a woman on the train this morning and the only way I could describe what she was doing is "chewing her yogurt."In the words of one of my dearest friends: I don't want to say "me too." I want to say "yes, you."
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @steve_boyle NO NO NO NO NO NO
10/16
2017
Being a dad just seems like buying T-shirts on vacation to wear on other vacations.Tonight 8p @pineboxrockshop free comedy @seanytime @RayKump @KennyDeForest @BakerBone @AlisonLeiby @JordyPloy +more… https://t.co/TwNSlh3if0
Retweeted by Alison LeibyAt restaurants when they ask "fries or salad" there should be a choice where you get a half serving of both.
10/14
2017
As a woman who has a father, I'm worried about the patriarchy.
Retweeted by Alison LeibyThe president explains America’s routine reaction to violence. https://t.co/8FAHxF6IWf
Retweeted by Alison LeibyAs a woman who has a father, I'm worried about the patriarchy. @eliyudin who doesn't want a zipper on their taint??It's almost like we shouldn't let men have power anymore.I look forward to participating in #WomenBoycottTwitter when @Twitter bans me for making an obvious joke and lets Nazis run free!I'm going to start rating sex based on the breakfast I need the next morning. A yogurt = meh. A bacon egg and cheese = unbelievable. @johnlevenstein great, things are just terrific!Not one man who said he was going to come "rape me with his gun" and then gave a time and place of one of my shows was so much as suspended.Honestly, I don't feel like shutting up about it. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs because fuck this. We deserve better.I blocked them all. I reported them all. Hundreds of them. Twitter did nothing.I received death threats. Men proved they knew my address. Men threatened to come to the comedy shows I posted.Rather than #WomenBoycottTwitter, here's a piece I wrote a year ago about being harassed. https://t.co/XceroW0V1c
10/13
2017
Wow!! After blowing Midnight out of the water, The @PresidentShow is moving to Prime Time 10:30pm THURSDAY NIGHTS! https://t.co/0GedTisG6J
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI can't wait to watch all of the garbage men in entertainment to fall down like dominoes during an earthquake. @LuxAlptraum YES, it's reformation. It's also a crime. @bessbell @MrJonCryer they will haunt me forever.Quite a statement from a guy who can't even stand on his. https://t.co/px3tBzxWoQhonestly, haven't women had it hard enough this week? we don't need this. @MikeDrucker it's truly the stuff of nightmares @theames it goes all. the. way. around.The hardest of passes https://t.co/nzJ1chs2wpImportant announcement from the president: The President Show returns with all-new episodes next Thursday at 10:30/… https://t.co/UrrYOMg8z2
Retweeted by Alison LeibyInsane that we live in a world where the most popular type of press briefing is a White House member just saying "I'm not quitting."men are scared of this list but are they as scared as women are trying to navigate a world in which sexual harassment & abuse is the norm?
Retweeted by Alison LeibyNEW YORK CITY & ENVIRONS: I will be headlining a show @ucbtny November 11th at 9pm as part of the @nycomedyfest . W… https://t.co/AwVMkQiymW
Retweeted by Alison Leiby8:30PM GRIN & BARRETT at BeautyBar - @lizcomedy @danceoval @TheSteinbag @Jill_lives @AlisonLeiby @Pdeezjokes &MORE… https://t.co/gNU7j1ThLM
Retweeted by Alison Leiby
10/12
2017
@steve_boyle Next time you’re hereNIGHT BREAKFAST https://t.co/hlbaMUzRl4Any dude on board with pence idea of not doing anything w/women is admitting that men are natural predators w/no control. Our point exactly
Retweeted by Alison LeibyA horror movie that's just about a bird getting into the house. @iambernhardt !!!Name: Mike Pence Plane preference: Christian Reason for travel: Visit Mother (mom, not wife) @iambernhardt https://t.co/Pi8d3mcMw9
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @raesanni his mediocrity sends me into a violent rage @raesanni have we not discussed how AWFUL he is at work????I wish I had a daughter so I could better understand women! @raesanni I think our shared disliking of JT is almost as strong a bond as our love for rihanna.
10/11
2017
I'm hosting this super fun show tonight! Comedy! Powerpoint! Tuesday drinking! We've got it all. https://t.co/iTQgEH3GHrI wrote about Hollywood... https://t.co/jNczbNMQhg
Retweeted by Alison LeibyIt's great to be a woman and know that if you want your powerful sexual harasser to be brought to justice, it takes like, 1-2 decades tops. @nytimes “Textbook sexual harassment” was how Nestor described Weinstein’s behavior: https://t.co/zSQbK5NV0c https://t.co/pPVUZIQifF
Retweeted by Alison LeibyWeinstein, in conversation with Gutierrez, admits to groping her. Here’s the audio: https://t.co/zSQbK5NV0c https://t.co/vmrrSUp43w
Retweeted by Alison LeibyFrom aggressive overtures to sexual assault: Harvey Weinstein’s accusers end their silence: https://t.co/zSQbK5NV0c https://t.co/e7vS28hckt
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI hate taking off dark nail polish because your hands always look like you've been playing with blood for a day or two.NEW @JTrainPodcast with @AlisonLeiby! It’s Not About Having The Nudes, It’s How You Got The Nudes >>… https://t.co/R5FVlbNRJe
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10/10
2017
The one thing I genuinely miss about LA is screaming in my car.Do birds sleep? I hope not. They do NOT deserve it.The Rad Dudecast is my Game of Thrones: lots of characters, hard to follow, and I think there's nudity somehow. https://t.co/NkWBEKN5k6Side Ponytail is 8pm tonight @friendsloversbk with @AlisonLeiby @barryrothbart @MartinUrbano @WanjikoIAm… https://t.co/hzfyqWiKkY
Retweeted by Alison Leiby
10/9
2017
Is Mike Pence going to have a funeral for that Colts game that he didn't see through to the end? @ArielDumas "concept of fish" sounds like a christian rock bandIn October Manhattan just turns into one large Halloween mall. @RiverClegg @PresidentShow have you instructed the eels to watch, too?
10/8
2017
The Official NRA “Now is not the time” Timepiece! Available for a limited time: Always! https://t.co/Ek4sIjQA4s
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @elizaskinner setting my dvr right nowTONIGHT I'm at Cantina Royale at 9pm for @GoodForYouNYC! I chipped my manicure so tonight's set will be DARK.It takes me anywhere between 20 minutes and 6 days to cool down from a run..@LateNightDonald and his trusty vice president are the perfect guys to discuss appropriate discourse. https://t.co/rDekVzYNyY
Retweeted by Alison LeibyAwesome FREE show tonight 9pm @Nickmullen @JokesMagee @Daniel_Simonsen @AlisonLeiby @JosephPera @CWHeadlee & @IHunt +$3 beers @cantinaroyal
Retweeted by Alison Leiby
10/7
2017

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