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comedian. writer (currently: the president show). i'm here because @alyssawolff said she'd bring snacks. alison (dot) leiby (at) gmail (dot) com.

1,129 Following   14,906 Followers   21,453 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/4/10

I am ANTI HORSEA bus just went by me and it sounded like a horse.🤖NYC: Sun 10/22 @AlisonLeiby hosts a doozy w/ @JonnyFisch @RyanJayDonahue @kathbarbadoro @KennyDeForest…
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @lisa_curry you're on the wrong side of this.Trigger Warning: Gouda I do not like gouda.Cows are the dogs of horses.I have a name. @SelenaCoppock omg it's so good @chrisdcomedy @robertistheMan @AlisonLeiby @Jiggycomedy with hosts @tomdelgers @courtmaginnis WHAT MORE DO U PPL WA…
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@doperoush she's perfect. @doperoush i'm really enjoying these fiona apple tweets!Living in a fourth floor walk up and also working in a fourth floor walk up really strengthens my ability to constantly complain. @MarciaBelsky I was too busy barfing into my purse when I HEARD what was happeningIt seems easier to have the small group of women who haven't been victims of sexual harassment/assault tweet something. #MeTooSaw a woman on the train this morning and the only way I could describe what she was doing is "chewing her yogurt."In the words of one of my dearest friends: I don't want to say "me too." I want to say "yes, you."
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @steve_boyle NO NO NO NO NO NO
Being a dad just seems like buying T-shirts on vacation to wear on other vacations.Tonight 8p @pineboxrockshop free comedy @seanytime @RayKump @KennyDeForest @BakerBone @AlisonLeiby @JordyPloy +more…
Retweeted by Alison LeibyAt restaurants when they ask "fries or salad" there should be a choice where you get a half serving of both.
As a woman who has a father, I'm worried about the patriarchy.
Retweeted by Alison LeibyThe president explains America’s routine reaction to violence.
Retweeted by Alison LeibyAs a woman who has a father, I'm worried about the patriarchy. @eliyudin who doesn't want a zipper on their taint??It's almost like we shouldn't let men have power anymore.I look forward to participating in #WomenBoycottTwitter when @Twitter bans me for making an obvious joke and lets Nazis run free!I'm going to start rating sex based on the breakfast I need the next morning. A yogurt = meh. A bacon egg and cheese = unbelievable. @johnlevenstein great, things are just terrific!Not one man who said he was going to come "rape me with his gun" and then gave a time and place of one of my shows was so much as suspended.Honestly, I don't feel like shutting up about it. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs because fuck this. We deserve better.I blocked them all. I reported them all. Hundreds of them. Twitter did nothing.I received death threats. Men proved they knew my address. Men threatened to come to the comedy shows I posted.Rather than #WomenBoycottTwitter, here's a piece I wrote a year ago about being harassed.
Wow!! After blowing Midnight out of the water, The @PresidentShow is moving to Prime Time 10:30pm THURSDAY NIGHTS!
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI can't wait to watch all of the garbage men in entertainment to fall down like dominoes during an earthquake. @LuxAlptraum YES, it's reformation. It's also a crime. @bessbell @MrJonCryer they will haunt me forever.Quite a statement from a guy who can't even stand on his., haven't women had it hard enough this week? we don't need this. @MikeDrucker it's truly the stuff of nightmares @theames it goes all. the. way. around.The hardest of passes announcement from the president: The President Show returns with all-new episodes next Thursday at 10:30/…
Retweeted by Alison LeibyInsane that we live in a world where the most popular type of press briefing is a White House member just saying "I'm not quitting."men are scared of this list but are they as scared as women are trying to navigate a world in which sexual harassment & abuse is the norm?
Retweeted by Alison LeibyNEW YORK CITY & ENVIRONS: I will be headlining a show @ucbtny November 11th at 9pm as part of the @nycomedyfest . W…
Retweeted by Alison Leiby8:30PM GRIN & BARRETT at BeautyBar - @lizcomedy @danceoval @TheSteinbag @Jill_lives @AlisonLeiby @Pdeezjokes &MORE…
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@steve_boyle Next time you’re hereNIGHT BREAKFAST dude on board with pence idea of not doing anything w/women is admitting that men are natural predators w/no control. Our point exactly
Retweeted by Alison LeibyA horror movie that's just about a bird getting into the house. @iambernhardt !!!Name: Mike Pence Plane preference: Christian Reason for travel: Visit Mother (mom, not wife) @iambernhardt
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @raesanni his mediocrity sends me into a violent rage @raesanni have we not discussed how AWFUL he is at work????I wish I had a daughter so I could better understand women! @raesanni I think our shared disliking of JT is almost as strong a bond as our love for rihanna.
I'm hosting this super fun show tonight! Comedy! Powerpoint! Tuesday drinking! We've got it all. wrote about Hollywood...
Retweeted by Alison LeibyIt's great to be a woman and know that if you want your powerful sexual harasser to be brought to justice, it takes like, 1-2 decades tops. @nytimes “Textbook sexual harassment” was how Nestor described Weinstein’s behavior:
Retweeted by Alison LeibyWeinstein, in conversation with Gutierrez, admits to groping her. Here’s the audio:
Retweeted by Alison LeibyFrom aggressive overtures to sexual assault: Harvey Weinstein’s accusers end their silence:
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI hate taking off dark nail polish because your hands always look like you've been playing with blood for a day or two.NEW @JTrainPodcast with @AlisonLeiby! It’s Not About Having The Nudes, It’s How You Got The Nudes >>…
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The one thing I genuinely miss about LA is screaming in my car.Do birds sleep? I hope not. They do NOT deserve it.The Rad Dudecast is my Game of Thrones: lots of characters, hard to follow, and I think there's nudity somehow. Ponytail is 8pm tonight @friendsloversbk with @AlisonLeiby @barryrothbart @MartinUrbano @WanjikoIAm…
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Is Mike Pence going to have a funeral for that Colts game that he didn't see through to the end? @ArielDumas "concept of fish" sounds like a christian rock bandIn October Manhattan just turns into one large Halloween mall. @RiverClegg @PresidentShow have you instructed the eels to watch, too?
The Official NRA “Now is not the time” Timepiece! Available for a limited time: Always!
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @elizaskinner setting my dvr right nowTONIGHT I'm at Cantina Royale at 9pm for @GoodForYouNYC! I chipped my manicure so tonight's set will be DARK.It takes me anywhere between 20 minutes and 6 days to cool down from a run..@LateNightDonald and his trusty vice president are the perfect guys to discuss appropriate discourse.
Retweeted by Alison LeibyAwesome FREE show tonight 9pm @Nickmullen @JokesMagee @Daniel_Simonsen @AlisonLeiby @JosephPera @CWHeadlee & @IHunt +$3 beers @cantinaroyal
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