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Anna Drezen @annadrezen New York, NY

Joke witch for SNL + @Reductress + @UCBTheatreNY. I did books: https://t.co/MruQ0ThmRd

864 Following   20,845 Followers   9,166 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/23/09


I could have a crush on a stump if I tried
1/21
2018
Being an activist isn’t always easy or “safe” https://t.co/uqWo9ojDESHonestly Shakespeare was not only so smart and good, but a lot of that stuff is actually really truecan't believe kids these days are eating "tide pods" -- in my day we just drank detergent straight from the bottle
Retweeted by Anna Drezen
1/20
2018
@tylercoates I imagine this story is called “Look At Me Cows”very glad the public voices over at babe dot net have turned what could be good, maybe great, discourse into the ne… https://t.co/3dsulg7awH
Retweeted by Anna DrezenOr you could just stop running editorials in print I think that part works great https://t.co/RXq4ntPXEJ
1/18
2018
Let’s never forget how important the phrase “eh I’ve had worse” has been in every other activist movementOkay so which @BachelorABC producer follows my @UCBW career enough to steal my character #Bachelor https://t.co/cGorrtEtkL
1/16
2018
As a woman who was hit by a bus 5 times a day in my youth, I really don’t understand how these younger girls expect… https://t.co/gAFNYWNNOGThe reason so many people are asking "why didn't she leave?" instead of "why didn't he listen to her and stop?" is… https://t.co/4T4zk3tMl4
Retweeted by Anna DrezenBest part of workin in showbiz is knowing that the lesser-known sex predators still have a few decades to make some… https://t.co/TF7TqwnUMoThe Bachelor would be so confusing if u had no idea what kissing wasokay, so you’re willing to admit someone’s a “creep” but not an abuser or rapist because that would mean you’d have… https://t.co/HPWcUAyQWE
Retweeted by Anna DrezenHow I feel when it Sunday night https://t.co/tEyyji3piL
1/15
2018
A dream to do a thing!!! https://t.co/bQuH0QAAbAMy querb @aidybryant is a querb. Me wrote this with her & my main shrew @Sudi_Green ❤️ https://t.co/Yv8foWXx9d
1/14
2018
Remember when he bragged about yacht fuck parties to literal Boy ScoutsGirl? https://t.co/sxrhPs2VvzWide fucking awake because I finally taught my dog how to lay down and she fucking DID IT FIVE TIMESFuck. There goes my Oscar-caliber script https://t.co/MQhuna1ssd
Retweeted by Anna Drezen
1/12
2018
I mean if when you were shaking my hand meeting me for the first time and I said “Mexico are rapists,” how surprise… https://t.co/18sSwDoInJJust watched Wolf Blitzer say “ess-hole countries” while the chyron clearly said “SHITHOLE COUNTRIES”I can’t wait till Trump says “fuck” on the record so that it’s okay to say on TVI wanna be buried no casket standing up in the trash
1/11
2018
Arrested in timesqaure again for Permin my gooch in public smfh !!!
Retweeted by Anna Drezenhttps://t.co/F561eOcYsJ
Retweeted by Anna DrezenI wrote “Victoria and Abdul” as a love letter to unlikely besties everywhere
1/10
2018
@joshgondelman I’m going to kill youI got arrested for going on Shark Tank to sell the idea of upside-down sweet potatoes
1/9
2018
Times up except Gary Oldman lol thank godI'm pissed about I Tonya because I was just about to release my movie Me Sandy
Retweeted by Anna DrezenJeez Natalie Portman that was cool as hell
1/8
2018
@BillyDomineau Please post a photo of your walls and then go to Benjamin Moore‘Harassment And Assault Are Different,’ Man Helpfully Explains To Woman Who Has Experienced Both:… https://t.co/FmTNDSA0hX
Retweeted by Anna DrezenListening to the audiobook of “Fire and Fury” is fun because before you press play you can say, “Do the voices!!” A… https://t.co/P1JL4OHTDE @DanSpenser Help!!!!Ok wow fully living for this extremely underrated @katiecouric hairstyle circa Diana and Charles separation https://t.co/uagiHbcpEIMy drivers license is expired but I’m not going to force things by going to the DMV and filling out forms. God will… https://t.co/cC5dLk6NVOMe at a party: “I don’t really get worked up over things, I’m just a naturally very chill person I guess” Me when… https://t.co/JV5r8c8d5H @doodiehole_ Shithttps://t.co/K5yKtsruZW“Twister” but the tornado kills them like 4 minutes before the end @socarolinesays Yes @socarolinesays Noooo I’m waiting to get off a plane here now, which term is thisGod never intended for twins.
1/7
2018
“The Wolfpack” but with just one kid doing movies indoorswhen u meet someone who was born in 1998 https://t.co/u0mt699var
Retweeted by Anna DrezenI am horny ONLY for my husband and his hardworking feet!!!!I can’t readBoys love me because I have no opinions and my head and hands fell off in a chimp attackSauce is sizzling tonight!! Now with extra @SabrinaJalees!! https://t.co/Xkdgvx7sQQ
Retweeted by Anna Drezen
1/6
2018
@RCJameson One baby kale and one mesclun, both about the size of a half dollar @TimJamesAuthor NopeJust dropped two little leaves of salad on my lap in the Paramount lot commissary AMAIs Daily Beast eat mommy ass now? https://t.co/XxFsOr1sx4Dry January is just shitty rumspringaThe brill satirical women's magazine @Reductress curated a fierce night of stand-up tonight with @marcellacomedyhttps://t.co/gJAewkzMSJ
Retweeted by Anna Drezen
1/5
2018
@jakefogelnest YesIt’s true that @Airbnb is online dating for houses. The first place I stayed was better looking than their pics, an… https://t.co/Hk8oZgqZes @Airbnb is online dating for houses. The first place I stayed was better looking than their pics, and my second pla… https://t.co/MuLLE0S7ctDamn they let infants date back then. kinda fucked imo https://t.co/qDStMwnlMH
Retweeted by Anna DrezenHardest part of being single is having to hurl myself into the sun every morning. Would be great to have help with… https://t.co/pYHhvbPH7C
1/4
2018
I am ready for ska to come back.HEY LA! We've got @annadrezen and @ihatejoelkim on Haha WOW in our new time slot this Thursday 1/4 - get tix:… https://t.co/df9OWmnoLn
Retweeted by Anna Drezen
1/3
2017
All iguanas have this look on their face like they just got someone fired https://t.co/qiZ5o2tRDD
12/31
2017
@Mysterypod https://t.co/xMex5KYDQR @yoda https://t.co/8gcF80xrie @talliemedel https://t.co/J0MoxX5cbEEating corned beef hash at the airport AMAI understand there are companies who are using my name and photograph and state that I have endorsed their skin car… https://t.co/S6RSIuFWpl
Retweeted by Anna DrezenI’ll be spending New Years with my career lol
12/28
2017
Real estate agency mascot, Century Wan-kun, is a golden retriever with a talent for sniffing out good properties. H… https://t.co/tcEl0f3C2R
Retweeted by Anna Drezen @lotuseatur Oh my god the candelabraFeet are just long hands https://t.co/S0nrYEhFwLToday was a really good day for living rooms
Retweeted by Anna Drezen @BillyDomineau Parachute into France daddy fukkkkWait Ernie from “It’s a Wonderful Life” is fucking hot https://t.co/8k0JyqUn9x
12/26
2017
@snooper5150 Merry christmas
12/25
2017

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