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317 Following   88,682 Followers   59,482 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/24/11

@TheEricGoldman I seriously can't stop watching it. It's funny every time.Well, when you're the worst candidate in history, what do you expect? cannot stop watching this. WHY IS IT SO FUNNY. mamma's ear as a blanket
Retweeted by Anne WheatonGoodnight, sun. air boogers sure are stabby. #girlytweetForest fairies. buying one of these for Jenkins. It's his birthday this month and he needs a guide to being a dog
Retweeted by Anne WheatonEmerald Bay in Tahoe. STOP BEING SO PRETTY. @wizbee1 Absolutely. @wizbee1 Super sore once we were done but not bad while I was on the hike. @Veronica The weather is perfect today. MORE PLEASE.Panoramic shot of Eagle Lake. #Tahoe up to Eagle Lake in Tahoe today. Beautiful and peaceful. 10/10 would hike again. @geekfitgirl I can't figure that thing out so I never look at it. DOH.Emerald Bay overseer. responses to this are killing me. Hilarious!Why does Trump end virtually every tweet with one word and an exclamation point. Unnecessary!So glad I brought an empty bottle of my special sensitive skin face sunscreen up to the sunny mountains for the week. -Said no one ever. @geekfitgirl The first couple of weeks when I started wearing a night guard, I would wake up holding it in my hand. You'll get used to it. @tara Thank you, Tara! @AshleyEsqueda I'll be sure to wrap it in pup-safe paper. 🎉🎈What is even happening with my bed head right now. always forget to say we ship internationally. THERE. I said it. Hooray! *backflip*I'm going to start shipping these out next week. Help us help animals in need with a tax deductible donation! stop laughing at this. @hardwick @NYDailyNews @starwars Sounds to me like their "west coast source" doesn't know Star Wars or what a Tardis is. What a maroon.
Trump's outreach to black voters began in 2012 when he openly suggested that the first black president wasn't a legitimate American.
Retweeted by Anne Wheaton @dandaman_PharmD Lordy. @paulandstorm You spelled aficionado wrong.Updated résumé: Anne Wheaton- Author of dad jokes, puns, and no mystery blog posts. @TwitWittyVal YES. @DaveK_Says All that's going to do is have them continue to come after me. They have plenty of fuel on their #TrumpsterFire2016 already!On the other hand, I'm listed in that article as an author so that's pretty nifty if you consider a blog & tweets author worthy. Bozos.On one hand, the #TrumpsterFire2016 people coming after me is because of an online article showing my Play-Doh tweet so they went nuts... @AustinBeerGeek GROSSWhat a dump. just missed a sailboat in the harbor getting hit by lightning & lighting up the restaurant. WHY U TAKE AWAY MY FREE NATURE SHOW, CLOUDS?! @imboots 🤘 @kaelanbarowsky Thanks for being my dancing buddy!!Little bit rainy here. Lucy is so excited to see me that she has maximum sloppy kiss derp face. think Lucy is a little excited to see me. @shanenickerson BE SOCIAL, SHANE. @BackpackingDad It's only 70 here because clouds are moving in.The driver drops his kids off at school, drives for a few hours, then picks them up. Sixth, ninth, and tenth grade.Driver said he lives near the airport and driving me out to Rocklin is the furthest he's done an uber drive. Whoa.Driver says thunderstorms are expected in Tahoe this afternoon. That's where I'm headed later today, so that's fun.This is very tempting.'m in an uber for the next 30 minutes. I never know if I should start up a conversation or just read a book. SO AWKWARD. What do I do? @bilborg I'm stopping by for a Lucy kiss on my way to Lake Tahoe!Sacramento grid @Laezerwolf It's entirely possible. @SilberUnhold He was talking on the phone when he laughed.A man walking 7 feet away from me laughed and I could smell his rotting teeth breath. That's neat. @frosty75 I have a privacy screen so people can't read over my shoulder. Now if I could just get a cough screen... @OhNoSheTwitnt I like when you retweet horrible people and it turns out I've already blocked them. Hooray, subscribed block list!The man behind me in the TSA line is so close he coughed on my back and it blew my shirt in case you're wondering where patient zero is.It me, a concerned patriot who got on twitter 12 min ago. I only follow white nationalists and porn. Let me tell you why you are wrong.
Retweeted by Anne WheatonHappy Monday! Be good to each other. We're all we've got.
@almostahermit EEEEEE!!!!Hey, babe. Are you my block button because you are on FIRE tonight. @feliciaday @steveagee We powered through and stayed until 1:30am. Tired feet and tired brain but super worth it. @SupportBones That face! @SupportBones I have never had a cat who purrs as loud as Watson does. It's the best.If you're not following me on Instagram, here's some quality content you're missing out on. @steveagee @feliciaday I missed you both on the dance floor! @realdadinstands I'm the person you don't follow yet sought out to say something pointless. Now that we've cleared that up, have a nice day! @OhNoSheTwitnt I'm guessing that's the equivalent of shoving a handful of sewing needles in your eye and then setting them on fire. @BrianBPK 😉People showing up in my mentions saying "Don't make me defend Trump." Oh, honey. No one is making you. You're doing that all on your own. @kortneylizabeth You're a special snowflake, aren't you? @feliciaday Hehehe... @ToothpasteWords LolI loved having no phone or cameras at the #Hearstwick wedding but I am happy we got 1 photo booth op! @feliciaday❤️ a peach. @scalzi Soda bad-water goodOnly voters left for Trump to woo are whites who don't want to think of themselves as racist, yet still hold racist thoughts and opinions
Retweeted by Anne WheatonWhen someone in my mentions tries to defend Trump's self-serving actions as if he were a good guy. @maneatingplants Such a sweet face. 😊 @papadoc5656 Please don't tag me in your posts defending Trump's self-serving acts or I'll need to block you because that guy is awful. @maneatingplants So cute! @LyssaPearl They don't always carry everything in stock but they have a ton online you can order after you get measured & it's free shipping @LyssaPearl If you go to Nordstrom they will measure you and get you an exact fit.This FB memory from 4 yrs ago came up today.Tiny Marlowe who lived on the streets didn't take long to be a snuggler! @Suhaila He's much more relaxed. Eliot used to chase him to play and Luna was just pissy toward him. He hangs out around us all the time nowThis guy can't keep his paws off me. @kyle_newman Totally. 💃I think I danced my feet down to nubs. Best wedding ever. #Hearstwick
Argh. I can't do the one boot thing. Makes me walk all wobbly. Boring flats it is.Eyelashes are staying on & my necklace is strategically placed to cover the spider bites on my chest (sort of). HA! @litemater HAHAHA!!If the bride requested guests wear cowboy boots but I can only get one of them on, do I just wear the one? stuck to my eyelids, a strapless bra stuck to my boobs, and Spanx stuck to my ass. I am ready to go see my friends get married!True test of patience: how many attempts at applying false eyelashes before ripping them off your face and chucking them out the window. @mrchrishelms It's the worst. @wilw @Alyssa_Milano Wil.It's #Caturday !!! We have 9 kittens up for adoption. 9!!! They are all loving, sweets young…
Retweeted by Anne WheatonI noticed no one is talking about the pokemans anymore. Did they finally catch them all?You know you're getting old when that morning hangover feeling is just from staying up too late the night before.