Sign in with Twitter

Username:

TV writer/producer: Single Parents, LA to Vegas, You're The Worst. Probably wearing a Victorian baby ring right now.

1,016 Following   8,825 Followers   775 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/22/09


@kcalaitges Lewisburg! My aunt lives in MechanicsburgThe state that made me, made this. Makes sense. God, I love Pennsylvania. https://t.co/4C9qXTfiSK
9/25
2018
@bridger_w @BMcCarthy32 I can’t believe it’s now the catchphrase for all five adult characters and three of the childrenHello, I’ve been writing on a new program called Single Parents, which you can begin watching on ABC this Wednesday https://t.co/IkoYU673tU
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
9/24
2018
En route to the Beyoncé/Jay-Z concert, I saw two twentysomething female crossing guards, both wearing pageant level… https://t.co/PEAkTTXgYyMy favorite part of the Beyoncé/Jay-Z concert was when she basically stopped the show to gain strength from her fem… https://t.co/6VRosHUDfN
9/23
2018
I love my husband so much that when he just now asked me “have I told you my new idea for a podcast?” I sincerely wanted to know.
Retweeted by Alison Bennett @janiobi If someone doesn’t take these off my hands, I’m going to be forced to go have fun @gabeliedman @natasharothwell This relationship is the only thing keeping me alive
9/22
2018
Excited! Yay, @TheAmyNicholson! https://t.co/ou7xOHbznp
9/21
2018
Excited! https://t.co/gevk2DgfluThere’s a couple that lives on our street with a baby my baby’s age and they refuse to acknowledge us or even say h… https://t.co/hxBoUk8H2v
9/19
2018
Being in a diverse room means not carrying the exhausting weight of being the only. It means working in a space tha… https://t.co/eJYtkVHby5
Retweeted by Alison Bennett @mikescollins Excellent news
9/18
2018
My dogs* always go nuts and tear around the house** at the sound of their food*** rattling into the bowl.**** *I *… https://t.co/nL3iMhVCkV
Retweeted by Alison Bennett @The_A_Prentice I took a wild swing giving a Single Parents character a last name in my episode and it stuck and I’… https://t.co/m5trsu6ibLReal talk: the hardest part of comedy writing is coming up with your characters’ jobs.
9/17
2018
@Blacktress Thank you! But now I’m all about that Miss Adams life! (I’m on Single Parents!)Late, sentimental thoughts after the #YoureTheWorst series wrap party: super grateful I got to make shit with my be… https://t.co/vXohUMhGnX
9/15
2018
@DeannaRusso I’d be dead in five minutesMy child has been losing her mind since 1am. She just turned to her dad, waved and said “oh hi” like they just ran… https://t.co/K4qOMPN1p7My new book, SEDUCTION: SEX, LIES AND STARDOM IN HOWARD HUGHES’s HOLLYWOOD, will be released two months from today!… https://t.co/Wg1M6Zxjqa
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
9/14
2018
@leilacohan You know I have some regrets on that @leilacohan I think we walked in and everyone said “here comes some suckers” @leilacohan I will never forget looking at you like “can I take my credit card back?” That was also the day of the… https://t.co/jAx40ZMpmhOne time @leilacohan and I attended a rich hippie fair and I bought a room spray infused with “good vibes” and mid-… https://t.co/bnPR9cd7Of.@seriouslyjenbom told me a story about a family friend who took their dog to the beach for the first time and the… https://t.co/mJiyUKdtRU
Retweeted by Alison BennettDesigning Women creator Linda Bloodworth-Thomason on Les Moonves is enraging and cathartic right down to its three-… https://t.co/ruAObBk4nz
Retweeted by Alison BennettI heard an Eminem song that sounded kind of good and I was like, “Can I forgive him for making high school even wor… https://t.co/X7J94kOacx
9/13
2018
@onlxn Remember when Norm admitted he threatened to walk away from Weekend Update if they made him do it with a wom… https://t.co/Hawz29JNYv
Retweeted by Alison Bennett @jonnyumansky Looking good thoughColonel Sanders no likey Nanette
9/12
2018
@saschasegan I just need this new MacBook to drop because your little brother is making me hold out and it’s a real… https://t.co/BMbw3gJ5KS @himccallum But did you have dreams like that BEFORE you were pregnant??? Heather??? I think the answer is YES @janiobi I haven’t watched yet because Noah was at a movie but I can already tell by these hashtags that you came t… https://t.co/RlKY5GGWgl @evafay This isn’t how you phrased it to me via textDid you guys cop the Nike Jawns? Fire contrary to popular opinion
Retweeted by Alison BennettTonight, my baby did a bit where she pretended to drink from a bottle of Korean snail-infused body wash and then sa… https://t.co/Dvu6UCZ5FzTo everyone questioning whether there was ever an Arthur Treacher’s in Los Angeles: I must admit I am three credits… https://t.co/9RHNfpGKsF
9/10
2018
I want to give a Los Angeles architecture tour that's just me pointing out former Pizza Huts and Arthur Treacher's.This is almost as dated as saying “watch out for those damn hippies in Haight-Ashbury!” https://t.co/V49EpucyRU @allanmcleod We have zero sooooo.@RealBradGarrett is the best! https://t.co/Y6KA2zjXBJ
9/9
2018
@MrDrWatson76 You’re in the wild part! Power through!How to have a fun Friday night: have a baby and work a lot and then the LOCAL NEWS will be super funny when you watch it with your husbandThread https://t.co/UUNhQZZ3n6
9/8
2018
Writer who works on another TV show in my building, getting off the elevator: Have a good one. Me: Good night. It is 10:15am. @evafay Remember when we got mean-girled by literal teenagers in the face jewel line at BeautyCon? This is our birthright.“I knew one day I would have to take over, I just didn’t know that day would be so soon” - Noah after I just asked… https://t.co/HJReLzGVfE
9/7
2018
Yay, @rianjohnson!!! https://t.co/FO4Uni1CpL
9/5
2018
@janiobi Yeah, well, I was born with EYES @natasharothwell @janiobi I’m going into five hoping all this new space is going to KELLI! @natasharothwell I just texted @janiobi “you killed all my friends.” AND TO PUT A CHAD BUS AD IN THERE AS WELL! 😱Insecure has killed more characters this season than The Avengers
9/4
2018
@film114 Every time I’m back in a room, my husband is like, “why did our spending just dip?” It’s because I’m off t… https://t.co/Rkh6n5eGr5 @frankgarciahejl THE. BEST! @adammaid Me: Adam, just move to L.A. already for fuck’s sake @BenBlacker @janiobi @tiffwriteswell Truly terrified of any conversation of our’s being recorded for posterity @leilacohan This tracks
9/3
2018
That’s because her dad is Donald https://t.co/eGYfOpI6pCThis evening, I teamed up with my one-hundred-year-old neighbor (not a bit, her actual age) on some NIMBY shit and… https://t.co/H2YQpQ00LY @janiobi LOLOLOL I’m so two thousand and late
9/2
2018
@tiffwriteswell @BenBlacker @janiobi I’m already trying to make this happen!Has anyone pointed out that all the Cosby Show actors would easily be making reboot bank right now if their star wa… https://t.co/qmSZzzO5LdGeorge W. Bush thinks his special connection with Michelle Obama is more special than she thinks it is.
Retweeted by Alison Bennett @PFTompkins I’m just so happy to be alive @kidblue Get your checkbook back in your pocketJust remembered he told me his old, now-A-list celebrity friends hang out with him when they “want some normal.”
9/1
2018
One more thing: if you want a visual, this guy looked just like Bruce Willis but scarier! My hands are still shaking! Off to work byyyyyeAlso, I grew up in a rural flea market and lived in NYC for almost a decade. I can roll with the weirdos. But when… https://t.co/5FLBapOzTXI faked interest in getting a Subway sandwich (!) and got out an exit early. Good luck to the driver who was almost… https://t.co/ugs1S6PkwUI’m on the 10! What do I do?!I thought he was just a wild narcissist until he said “I’ve healed thousands of people and have raised the dead fou… https://t.co/VWmpzGKpTx“I was in the entertainment industry but then I gave my life to the Lord” - five seconds into this hourlong Uber rideWhat if 'Thriller' actually happened & Michael Jackson's date Ola Ray tweeted about the next day. "YALL! Lemme tel… https://t.co/gvXtN62Wg2
Retweeted by Alison Bennett @leilacohan Why do even normal-adjacent shirts tie at the bottom now?
8/31
2018
How weird has the comedy community gotten that I know TWO people entering bundt cakes into the LA County Fair today? @evafay @SalomeAnulisch @Septembersgotit I’m not talking about encountering a weirdo on the subway for ten minutes (althoug… https://t.co/GaeEsZIC7o
8/29
2018
Thanks for having me on your podcast, Ben! https://t.co/gC2XpPpfjRI’ve started almost every job worried I’ll have to work with a gross dude. I can’t imagine showing up to work and t… https://t.co/zoBrGHQzoX @evafay @TheAmyNicholson I would ‘scape with youTen years ago, I went to the LA County Fair and met a fussy old couple named Ronald and Nancy who were talking mad… https://t.co/OeO5Fa4QtJ
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
8/28
2018
To All the Boys Who Wasted My Time But Still Watch My Instagram Story Every Single Day
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
8/27
2018
Super excited the show I’ve been working on, Single Parents, premieres a month from today! https://t.co/gfcNhpYefQ @ErinJanune @RenttheRunway You’re back
8/26
2018
I know I’ve basically been @janiobi’s PR lady this week, but what a great interview with her! https://t.co/Zsnczmt6xM @franklinhardy Uh oh, now I’m in an Eggslut hole and this is the slut? https://t.co/pIQXmNmYYt @franklinhardy I always thought it was the person making the eggs. Like “man, I’m a slut! Just jumping from egg to… https://t.co/SrVuiCaYfH @franklinhardy Not thrilled about my daughter eventually learning the word slut from a breakfast place across from… https://t.co/hex7zZ0IWq
8/25
2018
Had the thought that now that he’s 49, Paul Rudd would probably be considered for the Dan Hedaya part in Clueless.… https://t.co/xaDh1xIuYM
8/24
2018
@sierraornelas @LonZimmet @jfenski @The_A_Prentice @janiobi @ZachKnighton We all know Lon loves operating his own social media!Meet the talented @janiobi, a writer on @InsecureHBO. Stories come to life #BecauseOfHer. https://t.co/kPFIUHbPYC
Retweeted by Alison BennettDoing a Happy Endings rewatch and this show is even funnier than I remembered. CC: @LonZimmet @sierraornelashttps://t.co/Q9tasvMWy4
8/23
2018
.@HBO's #BecauseOfHer, featuring writer/producer, @janiobi. #InsecureHBO https://t.co/pFJ9TfB7Xh
Retweeted by Alison BennettTesting out a bundt cake for the county fair. Since I started entering the bundt category, I’ve won first place (bl… https://t.co/Y0yJQmrssG
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
8/22
2018
Today feels like a big day in the battle of smarts vs. dumbsFor three years we’ve had @janiobi play the flute. Every year I think I can’t love this more. She’s a writer on the… https://t.co/S6PkhqLYDv
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
8/21
2018
While doing a lot walk, I just rudely interrupted @sarahtap to grab her arm and hiss, “Look it’s Lisa Loeb!” It was… https://t.co/pdui3G416TThis morning, I saw three normal-looking women having “photo shoots” on Melrose and I listened to an Ariana Grande… https://t.co/y2PClfdfd0This #BecauseofHer promo made me scream so loud!!! ❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/ssGHNW43kb
8/20
2018

0