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TV writer/producer: LA to Vegas, You're The Worst. Probably wearing a Victorian baby ring right now.

988 Following   8,892 Followers   7,649 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/22/09


@jonnyumansky Call me when you start cleaning for fun, I think that’s nextReboot culture feels bad until you hear a third grader scream-hum the Jurassic Park theme at Target.
6/23
2018
@maggieserota Hard agreeI hope the reboot addresses the fact Daria was the villain @philyuck Would you like it better if it ended Also Facebook: “Sir, this is the DMV”Facebook: “We helped raise 12 million dollars for migrant families!” Also Facebook: “We helped elect the reason we… https://t.co/N9q4jDCJqLBobby: in this episode I will at first refuse to enter a church because of my extremely nuanced experience with dis… https://t.co/kiFWLDnlpD
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
6/21
2018
Jack and Lily are wise and kind. Please listen to their words. https://t.co/EF229xrMqg
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
6/20
2018
Beyoncé is now the friend who made you talk about her break-up for a year and then got back together with the guy a… https://t.co/cWYC0kl3Y4 @TheAmyNicholson ... who says I haven’t already (slowly rotates the Amy bust)
6/18
2018
Thread https://t.co/Xck3IJ4MkuDonating seems like a great Father’s Day activity! @thathagengrrl Cacao is life. Have you had their breakfast menu?!Sick about kids being separated from their families/detained? Just read a post from an immigration lawyer who sugge… https://t.co/ZnFDBidj6JJust realized the entire Jay-Z cheating thing was fake. The elevator. All of it. Gonna re-download Tidal in two seconds anyway
6/17
2018
JUST MADE EYE CONTACT WITH ME AGAIN AT THE END OF MY STREET AND RAN AWAY https://t.co/QbVIBjtjXlI know black cats crossing your path are bad luck, but what if one stares into your bedroom from 25 ft away and mak… https://t.co/F3pZb1J8t1
6/16
2018
I saw a woman weaving in and out of traffic because she was super engaged with something on her lap. “iPad?” I gues… https://t.co/aLTOuufWNT
6/15
2018
@KTHeaney I don’t know if I’ll watch the last two. Life is too short, especially if an owl intervenes“I just love pushing women down the stairs and killing them” - what I quickly realized is the only new Staircase content I want @MikeDrucker Also my hometown Walmart’s parking lot (Amish)I really do https://t.co/i8s0N0MOwr
6/11
2018
POSE POSE POSE POSE (I screamed with joy like eleven times and cried even more)
6/10
2018
@RAGEMUNCHKIN 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 @JonBershad NoI just want two note that @evafay’s last two plays featured Crimea and Men’s Rights Activists/incels (respectively)… https://t.co/4Idu5ijdJpLADIES WHO WANT TO DO CINEMATOGRAPHY BUT ARE NERVOUS: AFI is offering a FREE 4 DAY CINEMATOGRAPHY WORKSHOP FOR WOM… https://t.co/9fgTKChBnT
Retweeted by Alison Bennett“What might spice up my extremely academic book... Louis CK? That’s a fun, non-distracting choice in spring 2018!”I’m listening to a book about child development that was JUST RELEASED and it keeps quoting Louis CK standup. AND t… https://t.co/XRd6G7KxWV @franklinhardy It’s Lane and Phil, I win a prize anywayImportant news https://t.co/f1xkyqrwVl
6/9
2018
In a lot of ways the fifth Ninja Turtle was New York City
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
6/7
2018
My whole life is based on gunning for achievement stickers but I voted by mail so what I am saying is: please validate me on social media
6/6
2018
Tonight, I went to a restaurant that advertised Beyond Burgers but presented me with a fucking Boca Burger like I was a chump
6/5
2018
And it’s making the news! https://t.co/TkedetFVvJ @evafay @johnlevenstein This is the least controversial statement of all time. I wake up every morning and pray, “L… https://t.co/q5NpfXhUKj @johnlevenstein @evafay and I have spent a lot of time talking Clinton over the years and once we were in Vegas and… https://t.co/xEKidLjv5k @johnlevenstein Full socioTheatre dork goes to the gym once https://t.co/ncbQUInNPJMy sister had a crazy day yesterday — and my favorite story to come out of Philly since that guy threw up on that k… https://t.co/xcFleQPKPh
6/4
2018
Prego Hot Tubber was back last night, and her travel girlfriend was the self-appointed pool DJ. I thought the loud… https://t.co/byn1gR7xLK
6/3
2018
@franklinhardy didn’t consider thisIs this woman the inspiration for my next pregnancy or just life? Even considering it makes me TERRIFIEDThere is a pregnant woman in a HOT TUB drinking a TALLBOY in Palm Springs and this is not mom-shaming, this is awe… https://t.co/h5wuA0X0US
6/2
2018
@leilacohan I probably will!!! @leilacohan You are now torturing me on all forms of media
6/1
2018
@CannabisEncyclo YES @dswordsNshields POSSIBLY, WHAT IS IT, GOOD SIRPassed a cool restaurant on Fairfax and couldn't read the neon sign. Shouted "what's that say?" to my husband -- yo… https://t.co/eEW9cTG1E6
5/31
2018
Shit is so fucked up, we’re wildly applauding a pharmaceutical company @DannyManus Haha. When I met my now-husband, he had watched two seasons of YTW and I think he thought he was taking… https://t.co/B1RE1uFeCMThis Drake situation is also why I almost NEVER participate when writers’ rooms start going hard. What if you hit a… https://t.co/8CeIXdVN5GWhen I was a kid, I used to flee the room if there was a big misunderstanding on a sitcom. I also cried if other ki… https://t.co/na5d0B17sf @xymarla @kidblue We’d get a divorce if there was an option for “tube TV in sunny PA rec room circa 1992” @Travon This Tweet almost made me CRY @xymarla @kidblue just did this for both my parents (against their will)
5/30
2018
@franklinhardy I have a drawing of a scorpion and a frog you made for me almost FIVE YEARS AGO. I know EVERYTHING @franklinhardy This is your favorite metaphorSorry, @ABC. The First Amendment guarantees everyone a sitcom.
Retweeted by Alison Bennett
5/29
2018
Is it a good thing or bad thing that I’ve gotten into multiple bars in the last month simply by going “I didn’t bri… https://t.co/aWC2nslpt1
5/27
2018
@katerschorr I’m devastated reading these accounts. What can we DO? @elizaskinner @Jackie_Michele Of course. Too good! @elizaskinner @Jackie_Michele Need more info on these jeansShouldn’t it be a huge scandal, endlessly discussed, if a government agency loses ONE child? @tonnslingdog HAHAHAHA @findlilyhere No
5/26
2018
I just watched a man hit on a woman by pointing to her dog and asking, “So, are you a single mom?”
5/25
2018
@evafay Honestly love the shit you’re getting @rianjohnson @netflix ... ask me why I watched “The Week Of” @johnlevenstein @TheAmyNicholson @evafay Team Amy/KokoBeing a mom has taught me you can love someone you have to tell “no, you can’t pluck out my eyeball”
5/23
2018
My favorite show is back again! @HadleyMeares once gave THE BEST LA murder lecture at my house (my friends are weir… https://t.co/BnJmXHiNxK
5/22
2018
@PFTompkins 100%. And then he recorded his weird cackles about it at the site of where someone once died waiting in line in the ‘60s
5/20
2018
I keep seeing updates from people who just waited eight hours in the rain for NIN tickets and I can't help but thin… https://t.co/ErbBJDxQON @Jackie_Michele You are on way more Pinterest pages than Meghan, TRUST @Jackie_Michele She’s so beautiful, but Zzzzz (what did I expect)I talked so much shit but literally the first thing I did this morning was Google “Meghan Markle wedding dress.” @johnlevenstein Me neither (for either one)
5/19
2018
One. A week. https://t.co/PsIgVnk62L
5/18
2018

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