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Fred Spookema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

195 Following   465 Followers   7,787 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/3/09

Someone should ask the international bond markets if that's true! (Spoiler: no, it is not)
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaImagine the you two weeks from now, who’s forgotten this debate even happened. #vicepresidentialdebate
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaHungry Man gets fed.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @jbouie @max_read Fresh Off the Boat Brooklyn Nine-Nine Difficult People Bob's BurgersAnybody else afraid that the wave of early voters is just moving voters to different days and doesn't represent an increase in actual votes?Which DT Mpls architecture belongs more in the underwater city of Rapture?And you can't use the red phone if you haven't learned your colors yet!
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaDaniels bends at perfect right angle when drinking from water fountain.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign I remember as a jr high kid thinking, “about half the people are pronouncing this place’s name really, really wrong.”Kenard lights police horse on fire. Bubs finds a slightly water-damaged Grisham.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaStringer Bell's fabulous fortune passes to his next of kin, another man named Stringer Bell who looks and acts exactly the same.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaAttn: @msbeukema. @ItsTheBrandi further evidence.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaChrist, @netflix. Can you, stop randomly moving the Continue Watching menu around?
Retweeted by Fred Spookema
Carver can't believe it when the Baltimore PD announces its new "red tape" department.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaSlim Charles yelled at for wearing rollerblades in convenience store.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaI don't mean to force religion on anyone but the Jewish people are really onto something ending this year right now.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaWu Tang Clan arrives in Baltimore looking for Method Man, who has been missing for years.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaCar-hopping at each LRT station to reach the one without the motion-sickness-encouraging advertising wrap.Freamon discovers that his doll furniture store "All the Pieces Matter" is a secret drug meeting place during after hours.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema
Now wondering whether any of @ItsTheBrandi, @cwethern, or @alongerlook were at the same wedding this weekend.This is terrific. have put party so far ahead of country, they've endorsed a racist failure who managed to lose a billion dollars in a boom year.
Retweeted by Fred Spookemaamazing that our tax code lets millionaires' losses excuse them from taxation for 15 years, but I can't write off all of my student loans.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaWe borrow money from social security to cover the hole people like Trump leave in our tax revenue.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign Stopped clock: returns to his roots of singing songs about math.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaA modest proposal.
Trump’s been paying no taxes almost as long as he says Clinton’s been fighting ISIS. @jbouie @AdamSerwer Come on; the Virtual Boy was never popular.Full of memories tonight as we celebrate Tom Neiman’s career in community ed.This was a conversation I just had w/ a Trump supporter, who said he is a registered Democrat in Manheim, PA:
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign 🙋🏻‍♂️🌮🎉Here's what Hillary actually said on this 'scandalous' tape about Sanders supporters.
Retweeted by Fred Spookemabiggest plot twist of our generation
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaThis is your periodic reminder that Mitch McConnell is holding open a Supreme Court seat in the hopes that Donald Trump will fill it.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema
Y'all, forget this stupid playboy video. Trump told white people to go to black and brown neighborhoods and stop them from voting.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @thismyshow (shh, don’t tell Mitchell I’m being ironical.) @AdamSerwer I dunno, secret teleprompter only she can see is pretty great, too.Aw, man. That sucks. Trump should have started reading off the teleprompter, or pointed it out, or something. @mitchellvii Aw, man. That sucks. Trump should have started reading off the teleprompter, or pointed it out, or something.Does this imply that, outside of ISIS, Trump should be at <25%? So if you think she's better on ISIS, Trump claims… @JohnAllenPaulos Lockers w/ Sq. Nos. will be W, all others will be B. More elegant way to show than brute force example of low No. lockers?A file cabinet falls on Daniels' foot and he says "ouch" about 3 seconds later than he should have.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaHow the fuck did I miss this?
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaThese 23 adorable panda cubs have made their first appearance in public in Chengdong, China #FridayFeeling
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaRandy has big plans for stolen food truck.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaPolice and drug dealers trade places for the day and learn a valuable lesson.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign I wonder who's lined up as Trump bait in each of the remaining debates -- and hope for good future outcomes for Machado, Khans
A daily affirmation for everyone else out there who feels like shit sometimes but fortunately is not actual human g…
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaReading comment cards from a screening of our movie: "Emily was in a coma for too long." I AGREE, BUSTER.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaSeveral police officers are hospitalized after the roof of the eastern precinct collapses under the weight of discarded beer cans.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaYou get on a 747 with 2 folks who've told a lie before. One's an experienced pilot. One's an angry clown. Who do you want flying the plane?
Retweeted by Fred Spookema"Hey, Dad! Guess what! Okay, well, two things. First: chicken butt. Of course. But also..." - 8yo daughter
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaAvon insists to passing DOC guard that his war against Marlo is about to turn a corner.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @alongerlook My joke response to this was too dark and bummed me out.While looking for a gazebo rental on Craigslist, Prez accidently orders escort.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaBunny's cookbook "Cooking the Stats" is a runaway hit.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaRT if you've ever watched bill make that sandwich at the end of kill bill vol 2 and been like "damn that sandwich looks awesome"
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign Her Bond Theme.
Dozerman accidentally calls his commanding officer "dad."
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign Naming parking garages after anything other than their location, management, or attached building is weird. @brendancoots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @brendancoots @AdamSerwer Though I really like the idea of pronouncing SWAT with the "A" from "and". @brendancoots @AdamSerwer Eh, we change letter pronunciation (typ vowels) in pronounceable acronyms all the time. SWAT, SCUBA, FUBAR... @AdamSerwer The inventors of gifs pronounced it jiff. @stoatno1 Out of curiosity, is it your bg in epidemiology that drives your #nopetsontransit #nopetsatwork?At police retreat, Rawls upset when Majors can't get under absurdly low limbo pole.
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign Also, too:'s world is turned upside down when he learns half the people he knows are secretly British or Irish.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaA Bed, Bath & Beyond burns down in what investigators call a likely arson. Kima smiles quietly to herself.
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaFACT: by age 18, all women have mastered this expression in response to braving the many temper tantrums of misogyn…
Retweeted by Fred Spookema @section_sign Oh yeah, gotta park in back. I've wondered whether the Choo Choo Bob's management has been cringing through this whole thing. @drewgmackie 2020 we’ll finally have The Great Conversation on Fraggles. @drewgmackie 4 years ago it was Big Bird.
@AlliJFoley And eats your bugs?LRT: I see similarity in the process of teens radicalizing for ISIS & those radicalizing for the alt-right. Terrifies this parent.Op-Ed: How to de-radicalise a wannabe Isis recruit by JASMINE OPPERMAN @Jasminechic00
Retweeted by Fred SpookemaSTABLER: shit BENSON: what is it elliot STABLER: we're gonna lose this case BENSON: why? STABLER: it's judge Very Against Police
Retweeted by Fred Spookema