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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

190 Following   453 Followers   6,713 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/3/09

I have a hunch that the Venn diagram of people who hate Paige on #TheAmericans and people who hated Skyler White would just be a circle.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @miyukijane He’s also really not a good businessman.Larry's been married for 17 years now, but his brother Harry never forgave him for picking Young MC as his best man at the last minute. @CalebMcEwen But... if there's music, we can use it. @eryno Edinborough Park, if you have a kid. @jbouie Warren:the Senate::a Stark:Winterfell, but she certainly can be a most effective surrogate. DNC Keynote?Really hoping that the last couple days of my ankle is a darkest-before-dawn situation. 😬👞⚡️Bork: 'Some think rap is just the black community, but some of the worst rappers are white, like Nine Inch Nails.'
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@section_sign (Planet of the Apes quote notwithstanding.) @section_sign I couldn't tell from the first graph whether they thought bike lanes were good or bad, tbh.Butters is such an asshole. He knocked over the food, then ate a hole in the bag, then came and got me to show me.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSo, in short, @realDonaldTrump has less credibility in international diplomacy than Dennis Rodman.
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Again: beware the creeping normalization of Trump. Suggesting an ex-POTUS had someone killed w/o evidence: not ok in the 1990s, not ok now.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema"Man. Beyoncé would be so cool but those ticket prices." Hey, I got you. @ShowXImprov tonight at @hugetheater. Let us be your Halo.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @MyLittleBloggie @dbrauer @brittrobson @britt_brauer Guest during his vacation! @dbrauer @brittrobson @britt_brauer - What about @MyLittleBloggie? @SkywayMusings I honestly don't think this article applies to DT St. Paul. Mears & Rice could use more seats, but Mears is great for eating. @nogoodverybad @dannfpe Weather Underground was my go-to before Weatherspark. I'll have to go back, I guess.Is it gauche to point out that blocking everything to prevent ONE project in the Twin Cities is NOT an accomplishment for rural Minnesota?
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaRecommendations for graphic browser weather sites? #WeatherSpark has been gutted for flash/cost reasons.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema#weatherspark My favorite weather go-to site appears to be biting the dust, or at least dropping their cool graphs.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWhat happened to #weatherspark? It was the absolute best weather website ever! Now, it appears to be dead. :(
Retweeted by Fred Beukemaso... did #WeatherSpark just change their entire design to remove literally all features that i love and that make it unique? i'm legit sad
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThere's very few times I will genuinely bow to someone, but the woman in this story is a heroine.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaFor want of $135 million the state will lose $900 million. That's a 666% ROI that the GOP wants to skip to stoke regional resentment.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWhen you text first
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaOutstate will swoon to hear that the GOP wants to burn $900 million in their honor. So fiscal. Such responsibility.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWhat's important is that everyone stood by their principles—Democrats trying to get stuff done, Republicans trying not to, at great expense.
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Hodor’s mother’s name is Martha, too. I personally know maybe one person who will get this tweet. @thegynomite TURTLE Power by Partners in Kryme (sp?)This just made my whole day better
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaProgressive Men on right wing harassment: "Vile bigotry!" On left wing harassment: "It was only rudeness. You just don't like criticism."
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSome new impressions I have incubating. TJ Miller and Kumail Nanjiani.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @kumailn when you did the TMNT sketch at Wits, did you get to pick your turtle?
@fivemanjob Because everybody’s asking you about his movie?TIL programming was originally trendy "computer girls" until in 70s unions intentionally selected for antisocial men
Retweeted by Fred Beukema👁 was dreaming when 👁 wrote this so sue me cuz it's just a tweet/But Twitter's just a party where U mention what U want 2 eat
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And I helped! @dbrauer Can we Special Envoy him away somewhere for six months? @jbouie He should know that the Wpedia table lists district/state caucus delegates in place of popular votes.If I had to pick a least favorite thing about the arch/eng profession, it's that tracing paper, on rolls you can tear, is called "bumwad". 😐 @Janellie23 Huh. No surprise, I suppose. @Janellie23 Always found odd utility/semi-commercial buildings tucked in residential neighborhoods mysterious. Esp w/ no evidence of people. @Janellie23 Oh! OK, now that I see the fine print, it's an old Xcel Energy substation, like the aquarium-painted one at 33rdish & Garfield. @Janellie23 While we're at it, any ideas about the barbed-wire-fenced brick bldg at 47th & Nicollet? @aric @thatlevi Holy crap: just learned that Guriea was born/lived in Grinnell until 5, went to Macalester.Doctor Baltar's progress on the Sharia detector continues apace. @johnmoe Are the encore songs from Wits available to listen online? Looking for Metric's wonderful "Perfect Day" cover.i am being harassed online just for telling the truth
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @section_sign it’s only May, so you can afford wait for a native guide to help you across.They should have gone before we left the house. would think that other Republicans would take Christie as a warning of what happens when you sign up with Trump. But I guess not.
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(•_•) <) )╯Stop looking / \ \(•_•) ( (> at individual polls / \ (•_•) <) )> without context
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @anildash Welcome!May 2008, NYT/CBS poll: 60% of Clinton backers say they'd vote Obama May 2016, NYT/CBS poll: 72% of Sanders backers say they'd vote Clinton
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaDammit, city of St. Paul or whoever, can you not do construction on Shepard Road right now? @FiveThirtyEight The Twitter version has an all-black frame, so the whole thing is like a fearsome, giant strobe. @FiveThirtyEight I love you, 538; what did I do to deserve this awful gif in my feed? @eryno I haven't played a shooter using a keyboard in about a decade, but I do the same thing. @HillaryClinton As someone who voted for you in a very Sanders state, I urge you to call upon @DWStweets to resign as DNC chair. @MarkAmesExiled Years later, thanks for this...
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@ccolin is that happening? Who goes on in his place in the evening? @ItsTheBrandi For real. Clinton has little baggage that Biden doesn’t.Super weird that you're gleeful about the thought of Trump beating Clinton consider the stuff you claim to hate about Clinton.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @jbouie Can't hurt Dem unity, either.Here's an old Souch column where he lauded passengers who stood over a Muslim passenger the entire flight. USA! USA!
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @section_sign @section_sign And if your state hasn’t managed to produce a full GOP leg/gov hold.Life. Time. Appointments. To. The. Supreme. Court. SEVERAL OF THEM.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaIdeological diversity on my feed? 🤔 @section_sign Our own David Stras is one of them. Don't know much about him.Lawyers in the sound of my tweet: am I correct that these are probably all nightmare conservative jurists? @aric Just the same logo with a green circle without a crossbar.Finding it perverse that liberals are asking they be "sold" on Clinton in face of today's GOP, let alone Trump. SOOOPER selective attention. @fivemanjob Is this the opening line of a new RenFest-flavored version of "Loser"? @jillybee72 Also, who’s the twelve year old judging grown-ass men on their masculinity based on sanctity of a movie 20 years his senior?Who knew that campaigning against the two most popular living presidents and the system that elected them might not resonate with Democrats?
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHis story will change once California votes, but the fantasies he helps his supporters indulge in until then, it's just irresponsible.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @kumailn The more we learn, the more of a tragic figure Hudson is, and the more villainous the producers come off regarding him.
Imagine spending six and a half minutes of your life watching this
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI'm just saying that the fine detectives of the NYC Special Victims Unit would've busted Philip and Elizabeth by episode three.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @johnmoe “We gave the chimey guitar from Wouldn’t It Be Nice to a lovely family on a farm where it can run and play.”
How does a rainbow decide when to display it’s transcendent beauty?
Retweeted by Fred Beukemapandas, cmon guys
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @neilorfield @dbrauer Their father Howland showed up in flashback last week.The top notch. The crème de la crème. The #improv show at the end of the world. @ShowXImprov Mondays 8PM #MNimprov
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @soniasaraiya In pilot, scalding bath water doesn’t scald her. Pre-eggs. @chrislhayes Similar happened at MSP. Apparently TSA lines badly understaffed.*Depeche Mode voice* YOUR OWN...PERSONAL...PIZZA
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Crazy & awful that streaming services reformat films to fit screens. Did we learn nothing from the early 90s?
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI just realized something: younger liberals have never had to vote for a candidate they weren't super stoked about.
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@sepinwall Get it in a bag of rice, STAT!Attn @MsBeukema, @LMamak, @nineteenland? @anildash A video comedy sketch of Ken Burns doing a documentary on himself, entitled "Ken Burns' Ken Burns."Huh, just learned that Justin Meldal-Johnsen is leaving Beck's band after 20 years. Wonder what the story is there.Clinton leads Trump 81 to 14 % among non-white voters in new CNN poll. Expect voter suppression on steroids from GOP in fall
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @mcclure111 @section_sign Among many other things, these dudes need a good yelling-at by an authority figure. @dbrauer @MyLittleBloggie Or Radiohead?Knowing total runs scored weekly by teams but not games won & lost is a bit like knowing national poll results but not state results. #math
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @section_sign Herb Alpert is fantastic.