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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

193 Following   457 Followers   7,307 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/3/09


@soniasaraiya Six Feet Under, if only because the episode that caused David’s was so traumatic for viewers as well.Common feature: being 13 or younger in 2000. https://t.co/jBxnOLB9mrI'm actually impressed that Gabriel and the Rezidentura were able to arrange Manafort's extraction so quickly.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema- #MikeBrown was a man at 18 - #TrayvonMartin was a man at 17 - #RyanLochte is a kid at 32 ...See how white privilege works? #Rio2016
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/19
2016
Imagine being a scared teen kept all night in a police station till you falsely confess to a crime. Then a rich man calls for your death.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaGawker was worth more to society than anything any of its enemies had ever done or will ever do combined. https://t.co/ERZxFzR0Hu
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHumble request to refer to the Ryan Lochte scandal not as #LochteGate but as #LochMess.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @stoatno1 @DTEastMpls A way better location than the narrow sidewalk up against a building on 2nd or wherever. @thegynomite To be read aloud in an Andy Rooney voice, I hope.
8/18
2016
Business Kakuna says it's business time #PokemonGo https://t.co/GYTmGuLwBP
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @dbrauer I know, right? Second 😬 moment for me, after reading her “Unite the Middle” slogan. @dbrauer I *really* wish she’d had a better answer for that. @jbouie This was anti-DNC? What does his sign even MEAN? Was he trying to rebrand GOP anti-anti-racism as "indifference"? @DthomasJournals @mspbjHalter @SWjournal Mea Culpa: 2011. Apologies. @DthomasJournals @mspbjHalter @SWjournal A bit confused: there is a memorial boulder acr. the street from the house, with names of deceased. @ItsTheBrandi Lizz Winstead, Peter Graves, and Dessa. Silver medal?The pleasant feeling of walking a block for your 1st bus commute in 12 years. The panic of realizing your wife’s keys are in your pocket.
8/17
2016
@section_sign I'm so sorry: Bobs Carney, not Bob Carneys. @section_sign She and Johnson each ran in '12, too. So they could be the Bob "Again" Carneys of presidential politics! @theseantcollins S6 (already "aired") was a nice wrap-up. Glad it landed after yahoo folded their ill-conceived programming. @scalzi And yet they never shared a scene. There could be only one.
8/16
2016
Hulu and Sony cut a deal to put Community s6 on Hulu, meaning you can now find the whole series in one place.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @section_sign @dbrauer MN Economy: too good to get gooder faster.Let's do this. https://t.co/1u3eam7lfi
8/15
2016
Don't start with me about Dr Seuss's flawless anapestic tetrameter. Mastery of metre ain't shit if you get to make up the fucking animals.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/14
2016
Not comfortable with the recent trend of self-identified lefties arguing "it's a myth that [thing that is true.]" https://t.co/LEC1KohhKY
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @section_sign @PPPRNews @ChrisLongKSTP @tannrj “character” in these conversations tends to indicate “a bit run down, but mostly white folks”
8/13
2016
@imillhiser @section_sign As always, never give poker money to Harry Reid.four months later...the perfect Prince tribute. https://t.co/uFhle7y74c https://t.co/3EIYNdLklK
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHillary Clinton Vows To Do What Obama Hasn’t — Reschedule Marijuana https://t.co/Rg2Jjt1j2E https://t.co/UrWQuCi5QF
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaOMG YES. #rio2016 https://t.co/MSLy1dTB2H
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSimone² https://t.co/oD7dpl03fS
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/12
2016
@section_sign Thanks! Glad to have gotten through a couple of the shittier parts of this year’s gauntlet.I worked acr the st fr MPR for 8 years w/o getting to tell @ThisIsMPah, @johnmoe or @TopScorePodcast in person how much I enjoy their work.On Monday, I start a new job. Trading skyway systems, headed for the bigger, less homey one.We know Thiel funded James O'Keefe's attacks on ACORN & Planned Parenthood. We know he backs Trump's violent, fascist campaign. Who's next?
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @ItsTheBrandi And part time only, so no benefits! “Why can’t we find any good candidates?!”New event: 5000m Commute. #MyOlympics
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/11
2016
9-kid family walking out of the Hobby Lobby. 2016′s writing staff remains a bunch of hacks.48% of Trump voters think ACORN will steal the election for Clinton. ACORN, of course, doesn't exist https://t.co/wyuA2MaZov
Retweeted by Fred Beukemaamazing vid of @MichaelPhelps's parents https://t.co/xNigeLGpSD
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWas just reminded NBC bought the Olympics franchise until 2032 and now I hate everything.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/10
2016
Ryan Lochte is not the Real Shady. He is just imitating.I don't get all the jokes boomers make about participation trophies. You guys were in charge of the trophies. That was your job.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaIf you ever volunteered with or worked with domestic violence survivors you know that *hinting* at shooting a lady is a glaring red flag
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @braillewhale Field hockey is approximately how our five year old plays mini golf. @ItsTheBrandi There’s a band of rogue Chicagoan Catholics loose in Rio! @igorvolsky @aric he literally said "and what a sad day that would be." There is no alternate explanation of what he meant.OH YES I visit when I'm in Milwaukee https://t.co/75GVCPL2YX
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaNYC is entitled to 16 US Senators RT @nbashaw Whoa - mind blown (via @digg) https://t.co/lfj3himTHH
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @thatlevi All-time top ten @mustacherangers Spooky pony action at a distance! @mustacherangers I try only to absentee vote by quantum entanglement.I do not think the Republican party's fetish for untaxed inheritance and its surfeit of 30-something failsons are unrelated.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaFun fact I learned today: King Park has no air conditioning but DOES have two compressors sitting boxed for TWO YEARS. WTF @bradbourn?
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @RobinKimball His cousins: Iron Member, Chrome Ramrod, and Metal Phallus.We're just gonna, like, hang out and pretend we didn't even notice Woody Harrelson was at #mnfringe tonight. We're cool.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/9
2016
@ItsTheBrandi Or how about, now that it’s been explained, no more cupping? Or faddish anti-medicine at all?… and Trump just called our 5% unemployment “one of the biggest hoaxes” in modern politics. No, it’s not. https://t.co/DmyteKgs6r
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @sepinwall Please tell me Maggie is a prop and not a costume. Or part of the Marge costume or something.Hey @HillaryClinton, don’t undo the positive momentum from your convention by seeking out war criminal endorsements: https://t.co/HVhVXbrNW9
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaAnd today in 'Men on the Internet' this helpful guy mansplains cycling to an Olympic athlete https://t.co/39qwnXz6HR
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaPlease look at this video of an astronaut forgetting he isn't in space: https://t.co/SQseaLfgdI
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @Hellendrung @Aly_Raisman I want someone to edit them onto the bridge of the Enterprise during a battle. @sepinwall My 5yo would like to inquire about Stinky & Dirty’s long-awaited S1. Loved the pilot; hope he doesn’t age out before series. @ItsTheBrandi Which is tremendous bs. @ItsTheBrandi Those courses are super-biased in favor of the tall.
8/8
2016
1 racist landlord 2 bankrupt 3 creepy pageant owner 4 bankrupt 5 fire people on tv 6 bankrupt 7 failed presidential nominee #firstsevenjobs
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThought about army Public U student (15 grand) Musician Chick Fil A Failed screenplay writer Thought about army Musician
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaFew arguments are more persistent, easily disprovable, and bad faith than "black politicians/activists ignore crime" https://t.co/Uw7HTDZdpH
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaAccording to the booster seat guidelines we’ve been reading re: Max, BRA gymnast Flávia Saraiva should still be riding in one. @RobinKimball That race was heartbreak concentrate. @dbrauer 😬The biggest baby on the plane is this guy. https://t.co/4TcRBi4n55
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @dbrauer What’s the theory on the across-the-board peaks in 2006? @kumailn @marcmaron I still want a podcast or something where you go car shopping together.
8/7
2016
@RobinKimball I dig your tote.Public service announcement: please, for the sake of those around you, never mini-golf in a party of six.Natalie Dormer as Poison Ivy & Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn on a Thelma & Louise crime spree I will write this for free
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/6
2016
Pretty sure America didn't talk about our history of slavery at the '96 Atlanta Opening Ceremony. Props to Brazil. #OpeningCeremony
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThey should add the top-level domain codes to the stats for each country. #Olympics2016 @ItsTheBrandi I may have missed this - how are you watching? CSPAN4?Will NBC get through Seu Jorge’s performance without showing him? The answer is yes. #Olympics2016 @section_sign Back in their Pokéball! @braillewhale Gross.Donald and Hobbes is scarily accurate https://t.co/9Tle1NCUFp
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/5
2016
Trumps polls at their lowest... George Zimmerman face punched... Dylann Roof face punched... All on Obamas bday... https://t.co/0DN9Q8cWeE
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThis is so important. Don't just "settle" for a Trump defeat. We've got a genuine opportunity for sweeping change. https://t.co/erLxTh2Wya
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThis year for the first time I am considering that Zaphod Beeblebrox was probably a TERRIFYING galactic president
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThis captures something about the Trump-baby story that was making me uneasy but that I couldn't put my finger on. https://t.co/QmOyG4wat8
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaREMINDER: Who complains about people wearing cargo shorts? https://t.co/zmIGrxis3w
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThis is pretty amazing. https://t.co/zc7X6CR4FM @section_sign I’m still pissed about ACORN. @section_sign It’s pure team-based tribalism. It’s Eagles and Jets fans shit. @ThisIsMPah Five-episode arc; ends badly for him.The Republican failure to succesfully oppo Trump is the greatest political malpractice in living memory. https://t.co/Fm35axUGDr
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
8/4
2016
Note to Dems/others enjoying the polls at the moment: Three months to go, folks. Don't get cocky.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema @section_sign I only wish it also had Stein. @aric Get out of here with this. @erinscafe @aric Fact check: It was the Qumari Defense Minister.
8/3
2016
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