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Mostly nonsense, occasionally stamping out microbiological inumeracy, making food safer, and making podcasts.

1,106 Following   1,119 Followers   9,015 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/18/08

@caseyliss A great idea. Especially if @AlecBaldwin is lying.
The best things in academic life are- [To purchase full text click below]
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @benjaminchapman @bugcounter @foodsafetychick you improvise when the 2yr old can't reach the water 😂 #handwashing
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman @foodsafetychick nice!If physical diseases were treated like mental illness
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Trump supporters seem to have real trouble with spelling and grammar. Odd for the people who think immigrants should learn the language.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @atpfm FYI. @flargh @lexfri no time for yolks! @flargh @lexfri I think you are thinking of the emulsifiers clause... @MJanovic Learn how to type.People keep seeing Hillary in the woods because she's trying to apprehend the murder clowns. The woman just wants to help us somehow
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @katefeetie ah, but did you incite neo-nazi racists with your tweets? @danielpunkass @cabel exactly. @jonathancoulton what wine pairs with cheeseballs? Asking for a friend. Who is not me.Make America Great Again 🇺🇸 #MAGA
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Robot or not? @jsnell @siracusa tiny hands. @tiffanyarment I think that's the part of the grapefruit you don't eat...It is ironic to tell entertainers to shut up about politics when we just elected a greasy reality show host to the highest fucking office.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @bugcounter DIARRHEAS FOR THE DIARRHEA MONSTER
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️I'm not as worried about sneezing in my soup and poop (i.e. diarrhea from unwashed hands) in my soup. @inthefade I managed to make it until 6! I'm so happy 😝
@theleanover North by North Liverwurst @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman all the great pathogens!
Nice work @FDAfood!
@insane_irish I will inform the wife! @insane_irish Thanks! Not sure I've seen it in NJ stores... plus my wife is in charge of eggnog shopping decisions 😉 @scottu487 @erinmdurkin @epngo I think you are thinking of "caramelized cauliflower" @insane_irish I like the store bought version, spiked at home myself ;) @insane_irish @benjaminchapman @hadleywickham Not bad. But of course not peer reviewed. Also, there is no such thing as "completely safe".
@jimmymarks can I phone @johnroderick for advice? @erinmdurkin @epngo trust me, you don't want the old garlic soup.Alexa, Who's on First?
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Dog owners: Blue Buffalo Wilderness may have caused huge liver stress (ALT/ALP) for our dog. If your dog eats it, get a blood test. (1/2)
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @inthefade all the courages.It would be great if FDA tweeters understood microbiological nomenclature: E. coli and Salmonella. @davidfrum @michikokakutani Cabinet job?Science is magic that works.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @hadleywickham @benjaminchapman Thanks. The link in the article is broken but 1/10,000 to 1/20,000 is supported by the science. @hadleywickham @benjaminchapman Define "quite low". Also the risk goes up as batch size increases.No heating step? Might be risky, cc: @benjaminchapman
FUN FACT! The guy on the left thinks his genes are superior to the guy on the right.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @hotdogsladies @MaxTemkin a sign of the times the secret service going to have to open a file on everyone that replies to Trump's tweets and shits on him? Asking for… a friend.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @danbenjamin @lukei4655 omg. Get a room. @aswinn I was relieved it was not a topic for conversation at my in-laws on Thanksgiving. @lexfri @HeerJeet No. Just angry. And calm. And resolved.The best Italian food on the Starship Enterprise is The Parm Directive
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @mulegirl duuuuude @nycsouthpaw @sparksjls @jxpx777 oh bloom in the strangest places
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Relative: Hi! How are you Me: Hillary Rodham Clinton won more votes than any white man in American history.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Enter Falstaff.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @tomtomorrow he would've never used a Mac if Steve Jobs was still alive @inthefade "... fight for treating people with kindness and respect and understanding." Worth reading you ever met a twitter friend in person? (please rt after you answer; it's for my school project)
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️The creator of the Gilmore Girls would like you all to know it's pronounced Jilmore Girls
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @tomcoates leftovers here. Just straight up new content from @bugcounter & me. FST 113: A Tale of Two Outbreaks is up:
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @drdrang I'm waiting for precious bodily fluids tweets myself.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @adamisacson Is he really that smart? Maybe he's just unhinged? @NateSilver538 thanks for your calm and reasoned comments. @inthefade let me explain how you should feel about being tired about being online... @rickygervais make America Gervais again? @HPnames hey there! @inthefade 😣
Interesting: FDA mandates Gluten-Free Sugar be rebranded as Sugar for Idiots.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Someone renamed Trump Tower "Dump Tower" on google maps.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Bad luck.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @iChris The Doors? @hassanisms @erinsnarks @JesseThorn Hippogift? That's a D&D thing, right? @marydidyaknow mind = blown! @Spacekatgal Thanks. Not a gamer so I wouldn't know. Just heard a lot folks discussing it. @Spacekatgal the nerds really liked Firewatch... @dwiskus you had me at Idris Elba...