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Distinguished Professor and Extension Specialist at Rutgers University. Fighting inumeracy, making food safer, and making podcasts.

1,300 Following   1,347 Followers   11,160 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/18/08

Today is the day! Do the thing! Submit your video, ladies! @CAH_Science
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Why you don’t put Christmas lights on palm trees.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @thomaspford @benjaminchapman Deep deep quote 😉That guy @benjaminchapman gives good quote.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @uespiiiiii @hotdogsladies Next @dobyfriday challenge? @johnroderick Your experiment might also prove that there are no Roy Moore voters on Twitter... We need the crosso… interesting visualization of 35 years of world’s economy evolving as a living organism
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️
@princessharold @askvirginia @princessharold @askvirginia I’m sure I could not really say. (Yes) @princessharold @askvirginia Would you *like* it to have electrolytes? That’s the magic of quartz water! @princessharold @askvirginia See now, some of that quartz water would fix your hearing. @jxpx777 Urm. So. @johnroderick Thank you for this important research, sir!It takes a planet to make a porchetta. @dobyfriday have you guys seen this?'s cool takes were pretty cool, but her hot takes were [fire emoji]. The End.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️JUST from retweets alone (don’t CC anybody) how long before this tweet from a coastal liberal reaches an actual Ala…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @MaxTemkin Birthtime to John Malkovich being JOHN MALKOVICH! 98 today! Happy Birthtime Mouskewitz! Red or Dead!
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️It’s a cold and dreary Saturday; get your food safety nerd podcast on. FST 141: Dot Zaaa with @bugcounter is up:
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Things I predict will happen when I name my most significant harasser in my discipline, not necessarily in chronological order:
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️
@inthefade Hmmmm. @GlennF My God, it's full of stars!Two scientists walk into a bar. "I'll have H2O," says the 1st. "I'll have H2O, too," says the 2nd. Bartender gives…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @GlennF am not going to make a “survival of the fittest joke” because that would be in poor taste. Also look at these swe… @bugcounter LARRIES FOR THE LARRY THRONE
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Larry Beuchat, who for some reason decided to take me on as his graduate student. @benjaminchapman So has anyone checked to see if any culture stocks are missing 😉 @okieokra Yeah we have talked about this before on the podcast. Professional colleague is related to one of the New… - I also know there have been dairy outbreaks from Salmonella and other bacteria harbored in drains. C…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @ProfCharlesHaas Interesting. When Food microbiologists think about bacteria in drains, usually the list starts wit… @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman @foodsafetychick And finally when people should just simply should not be anywhere ne… @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman @foodsafetychick I would rather that regulators think about when it’s absolutely esse… is two minutes of pure joy. Sweet and funny and with a great ending 😍🥊💪🏼❤️👶🏼 #Rocky @TheSlyStallone
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman @foodsafetychick Meh. Hand-washing is not magic. These technologies all assume that a…
Brushing my teeth, reading my phone, listening to a podcast while @marcoarment talks on a podcast about reading his… might be a microbiologist when you and your friends make poop emoji Christmas cookies. #microbiology
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @inthefade 😳Pull-quote of the year? From
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @CAH This is fantastic, thanks guys.
@bugcounter Rebooting a cushion seems nigh silly.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @siracusa Shit. Mine is defective. Maybe I need to reboot. @MaxTemkin How can I be sure it really is good news, and you’re not just cucking me? @reallydadjokes [groan]In fact there *is* such a thing as sound science. That’s separate question from what to do about managing a particu… @benjaminchapman I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Webex meetings put on my calendar without asking. I…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @mbbatz You know you love meetings, don’t lie.
💥 @drdrang Bizarre. I’ve seen reports on twitter today that Dropbox is acting flaky. @katefeetie 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥 🌽 💥… @danielpunkass I think you were handling the tree wrong... @drdrang Please update us in 6 minIt might be tempting to debone your potatoes, but those bones are actually adding flavor, Food Editor Gillian Hess…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @AlexCox @mattiercox cool towels, bro @drinkerthinker So good!I can't un-see this.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @danbenjamin @profvrr @hotdogsladies But, but, but @siracusa said... @hotdogsladies @RecDiffs Shit dog @profvrr @hotdogsladies @danbenjamin Yes but what about preventing colds? [ducks] @mbbatz @JohnNCoupland @JohnNCoupland Actual chicken. No actual biscuits.
@ctp Lello!Should I Wet My Pants Over the Blockchain?
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @inthefade Grateful Dead songsI love it — better than data parasites. Someone needs to come up with a catch lapel pin or logo - a raccoon at a k…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️hey i just wanted to read about small family farms, but now i won't be able to think about anything other than this…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @bugcounter @benjaminchapman I'll absolutely co-author that blog/twitter feed with you Don. "Remember to sear your…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @Moltz @StarWarsVisComp @hotdogsladies Approximately 35 times cooler!
@105KaySt @YouTube I think you are thinking of Please consider classifying tuition payments as "aircraft maintenance" from now on. Thank you.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @barfblog That too @barfblog Everybody needs and editor. Especially Twitter. @benjaminchapman Also I’m thinking that you and I should start giving total bullshit chef advice, because why not?… @benjaminchapman Twitter is expansion to 240 characters is definitely helpful for complex topics like this. @johnroderick
Rest in Peace, Compuserve. You were a good place long ago.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️