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Mostly nonsense, occasionally stamping out microbiological inumeracy, making food safer, and making podcasts.

1,170 Following   1,177 Followers   9,552 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/18/08

@benjaminchapman Fake News @benjaminchapman As you celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving, maybe your turkey is different.This 👇🏼 @larry_stringer @benjaminchapman Dude, we are on a roll. Never have we been more on a roll. @larry_stringer @benjaminchapman Recorded yesterday, did the pre-listen, got a title, just got to do that final push. Look for it Saturday.Re: @RecDiffs 46: Some Form of Ballast, @siracusa Please guest on
Who's going to college in US? Pretty much every Hindu. A lot more Muslims than Christians.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Fuck you @realDonaldTrump. You just came after my kids. You thought I was angry before? That was a warm up.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @lexfri I hear your post about modesty is also better than most.
@MaxTemkin @AlexCox #ImpeachTemkin make CAH stink again!The President of the United States attempts to tweet about someone other than himself, but fails in the second half.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @GlennF that's good. The article is kind of "sound-bity", e.g.:"It concluded that same-sex marriage laws had "mental health consequences." @Columbia @GlennF Good news, but correlation is not causation. Could be a third factor driving the other two.California Restaurant Fined $120K For Serving Tilapia As Petrale Sole #fishfraud
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @SarcasticRover 👨🏻‍🔬 🎩
@th3j35t3r GoDaddy? Rookie move. @Pinboard professional or amateur lawyer? @OhNoSheTwitnt Fake Moos!
Active voice: I will write Passive voice: Writing will be done Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you always say you'll write but never do
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️#mondaymotivation
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @jessiechar 👍🏼 or 👎🏼
I'm really good at having the Dunning-Kruger effect. Probably the best.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @jdickerson whoops. @LoraxOfSex we are rewatching Finding Dory @ChipotleTweets and without E. coli!Road Work: 56: Robot Rabbit. Great episode thanks guys @johnroderick & @danbenjamin. Maybe John will read this 1 day @jasonbaldwin sorry, that's probably just the Sriracha and Coffee talking here 😉 @jasonbaldwin I love you. @jasonbaldwin Sriracha? Ketchup?
@dcurtis @gruber [M] or *M* ?“Who's your favorite designer?” you: Jony Ive me: this guy
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Moebius
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️It's not acceptable that there are millions of people who work 40 hours a week and yet they're living in poverty.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️#Moebius #ComicArt #Comics #Art #MoebiusArt
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️'After her death, George W. Bush, a frequent target of her barbs, said in a statement, "I respected her convictions… @inthefade start with one little moment at a time? @PFTompkins @daveshumka With so few followers and following so few people clearly he has lots of spare time on Twitter. @scienmag @MCBazacoPhD creepy as hell.A congressman is whispering in a fireplace.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Not true but still funny. Podcasters are some of the biggest podlisteners I know. @DanCGoldberg So what is McCain's strategy here? I'm genuinely baffled. Same as when he picked Palin.
@GlennF drain the... bowels? @inthefade @MaxTemkin @rstevens we love you Max! @GeorgeTakei exactly @MicheleSamaryaT @indefensible sadly, the death rate is still 100%. @JOEL9ONE I couldn't care less about football, but thank you for standing up for what you believe in.You are a poop-factory. That’s your job. You turn food into poop. Then you die. Goodbye.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman
Tn thousand sketch-comedy writers at a thousand laptops could not do better than what the real world gives up to u…
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @moiseschiu it's the lying media that are slowing him down 😜 @inthefade let it go.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @StephenKing [rimshot] @inthefade dogs help too @ACSHorg @JackKornfield Thanks!
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @moiseschiu @CNN What a sweet story. Never heard it before. Thanks for sharing.
A math teacher and a rabbi play a game in which competitors must fight words.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Violets are blue Roses are red Without all those vaccines You might well be dead #AcademicValentine
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️Roses are red Violets are blue Brexit is batshit Let's stay in the EU. 🌹
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @Merchandise7X email @gruber?Roses are red Violets are flowers They won't hurt us, Donny These men are cowards #SobchakValentines
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️There is a 100% chance of love. Happy #ValentinesDay! #RogueOne
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @joshchafetz @jbouie @conorsen Wow. @bheater he draws a lot of water in this town.
@GlennF How about to Reagan? (Just finished watching this:, FYI)Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @Pinboard done!I’m in a green room with David Simon being asked why tech nerds aren’t helping him spend his money. Help a guy out!
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @Anthony @GlennF @jasoninthehouse Who investigates the investigators? @MadelynnMcC i'm here to helpWe now know why mosquitoes find malaria victims so tasty by @RoheeniSax
Retweeted by Don Schaffner ☣️ @LetendreDan @benjaminchapman if by "nothing" you mean pretty much anything else, yes.
@AnneWheaton cute he thinks he's "unfuckwithable" @davepell you forgot "big hands".RotL: 234: “Boo Hoo Hoo” I'd subscribe to a podcast where John just tells stories about his sister @RoderickOn are red Don't want no hysteria But refrigerated foods Might harbor Listeria #healthpolicyvalentines