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Distinguished Professor & Extension Specialist, Rutgers University. Fighting inumeracy, making food safer. Co-authored 5 sec rule paper. Not a perfect citizen.

1,411 Following   1,812 Followers   12,995 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/18/08

Hey @inthefade, this looks like your old glass... @TheRickWilson I think your circus and you elephants would be a bit more on the nose...If members of the Administration are upset that can’t eat anywhere they want now, they’re going to be _really_ mad…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉hey @jonfavs @jonlovett @TVietor08 @danpfeiffer -- I'm a devoted #FriendofthePod. I love all the dogs of the pod eq…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉and how long do they burn if it isn't an emergency?
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉Very scary warning sign on our hike!
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉No one’s even talking about the fact that Sanders got a free cheese plate out of the whole deal
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @gruber Is @AmyJane complaining about your smelly feet again?From the weekly letter newsletter from @warrenellis which never disappoints and is always interesting. lovely story.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @inthefade 😝 @inthefade @SethAbramson Thanks. Good thread.Old song, added verse. Turnout rises pretty dramatically with age, but each new generation has turned out at a low…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉Strongly considering making this my lock screen. What a delight.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @KrangTNelson I think you are thinking of pork roll.Honey the only thing I want is some punctuation in this goddamn sentence.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉We really should be nicer to each other, try to get along, and use social media as a force to bring people together…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉Last night, I was told by the manager of @CubaLibreDC that I couldn't use the women's restroom, and after challengi…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉This is everything... Paul McCartney Carpool Karaoke via @YouTube
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉
@hotdogsladies @siracusa @AlexCox @ismh Cheeses are orange! @inthefade I love those paisley pillows!Uh oh. Mike Huckabee is posting pictures from his spank bank again.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @dicktofel @MrJonCryer Is this the paragraph you mean? I don’t follow your math. @treyradel @TheRickWilson Does following Rick Wilson on twitter count? @troutbum61 @AoDespair @Bourdain Me too. Take care of yourself, Patrick.Read ⁦@AoDespair⁩ on ⁦@Bourdain⁩.
NJ. Represent. 👊🏼 all Michigan food safety nerds, @bugcounter and I are all finished our live podcast at the MSU College of L…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉Hey Michigan-based (or visiting) Food Safety Talk folks: @bugcounter and I are having a meet up at Bad Brewing (…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉
@hotdogsladies @MaxTemkin My favorite C+ Santa Monica fascist.I did a blood test to see how allergic I am to tree nuts and it came back and said I wasn’t allergic to them anymor…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉
@inthefade Yup. Checks out.All men are mortal! Chico and the Man! Pull my finger! Seven meats, three cheeses! Chicks and ducks and geese bette…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @tedleo Even the rain...
@GlennF @hotdogsladies @MaxTemkin @AmyJane @Instacart Oh do not get me started on food service robots, Glenn. Cc: @benjaminchapman @bugcounter @hotdogsladies @AmyJane @Instacart Oh no my cold chain!
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @hotdogsladies @AmyJane @Instacart This can be a gap in our food safety regulatory infrastructure. The good news is…
Dr Seuss responded to America First, the first time around.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉
@michelledanyluk Do they look like this:, I favor a wheat bread and bacon style toilet paper. kids, new episode of Food Safety Talk with me and @benjaminchapman is ready: We talk a… [shows photo] Wife: Do I know this person? Me: Yes... it's a famous person. Wife: ... Me: Look at the teeth. Wi… is the cartoon that got @Rob_Rogers fired after 25 years working at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Spread it aro…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉This is really good: Why I Won't Debate Science Once you put established facts about the world up for argument, y…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @inthefade That’s me, every damn time. @princessharold Hey now! Even people with pedestrian taste in food deserve to be safe from Foodborne illness.
Package image:“The FDA is advising consumers to not eat and to discard any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal. This is regardless of s… @squirrelchomp @TiffArment @MaxTemkin @AlexCox Postal Chicken Situation is my new favorite band.I think even Jesus would kick Jeff Sessions in the balls.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉If ⁦@TiffArment⁩ follows my directions, then yes you can eat the rotisserie chicken meat that she will mail to you… the record, I would not recommend handling used chicken *anything*, ⁦@AlexCox⁩, cc: ⁦@MaxTemkin⁩, ⁦@TiffArment⁩ grandfather of alt-science
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉Attention, this is important.
But my emails.
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉I know ⁦@siracusa⁩ is time constrained, but I’d really love for him to come on and talk abo… @jxpx777 Strong!Wonderful...
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @daveshumka The ducks 🦆 agree.
@MaxTemkin So he lies? I'm shocked. Also good work on the math! @inthefade I’m here to help? 😳 @inthefade When you get over that you can start worrying about getting Chagas disease, @andlewis @siracusa @atpfm Accidental tech botulism! Cc: @MaxTemkinThank you for writing and sharing this. It's important to have more of these conversations in the open, to help red…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @TarheelPhan What you me “we”, paleface? 😆 Seriously, all I know is in that link.
“Calii Love kiosk” most successful people I've met: 1. Study daily 2. Eat well 3. Thrive on others 4. Are literal sharks in the o…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @AlexCox @FilmCritHULK Not exactly bummed out, but a very different take. Thanks. @DrDGarren So how does one “be” a non zero tolerance for Listeria?
Kim Jong Un's cargo plane brought his portable toilet to Singapore to "deny determined sewer divers insights into t…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @johnroderick 😲PILLSBURY Cake Mixes 1954
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @walterowensgrpa @ddale8 You sir, send a fax straight to *my* feelings. @anewberr @benjaminchapman Will investigate and report back.
@DrDGarren ✊🏼👍🏼Multiple times since I received my PhD, I have had people address or refer to me and a male colleague as "Dr. Smith…
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉SAD TWEETS ARE NOT CHECKS OR BALANCES
Retweeted by D҉o҉n҉ ҉S҉c҉h҉a҉f҉f҉n҉e҉r҉ @monteiro Thanks Mike.