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Word jockey @empiremagazine, host of the Empire Podcast, Q&A-hole. Dear God, my DMs are open. Footy tweets @ChrisHewittLFC.

1,052 Following   33,915 Followers   79,700 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/11/09

@ScaryRadioDJ Screw up? @rossmurraytk421 Nope. Not in the slightest!All this Sporcling is getting me in the mood for a Periscope film quiz. LIVING IT UP ON A SATURDAY NIGHT! (I won't do one.) @gray @NickdeSemlyen Love that spreadsheet. @NickdeSemlyen Bah! Didn't get Almost Famous. @NickdeSemlyen You're the Pitts! @NickdeSemlyen 83%! @Nick_Pettigrew Ha! @Flying_Inside Is that what Mike sings? I've never been able to make it out. You know, Peter hates that song. He's mad! @MMuncer A tour? Yes! A book? Boooooooo! Far too much effort!Thanks to all who voted for us. Sometimes you just can't take down Goliath. Congrats to the fine people… @MrKenShabby @MrKenShabby I'm glad they went with him after Richard A. Grant, Richard B. Grant, Richard C. Grant and Richard D.… @yours917 @DapperDan @longers1 Oh, for the love of God. That was a film festival. It didn't open until January. @yours917 @longers1 @DapperDan You do know it didn't come out until January in the States as well, right? @my_grayne I'm aware of this story. Big Stephen King fan. @sebpatrick @HelenLOHara Hard core B&W loving LOGAN fans should not make any plans on the evening of May 16th.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @HelenLOHara @sebpatrick @RealGDT In that case, give yourself a gold star. Not too many - you wouldn't want to be accused of favouritism. @gray @tomhanks @empiremagazine You're barking mad! @RealGDT That way, you can't fine yourself if you're late for work. @Pazza7 Whoa. Fucking hell. Sorry to hear that. @HelenLOHara @sebpatrick LAUGH! LAUGH!Today was my first day at my new job, refereeing the Leyton Orient match. What a day!
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @sebpatrick If I ever did stand up, I'd bellow "LAUGH!" in people's faces. For ten minutes. Wouldn't even tell a joke. @sebpatrick YES. @Stuntgoat75 Yes, I have it. @deanbmmv Nothing worse than a band playing a new song at a gig. @nickmurftweets It was a variation on a 2008 classic. @Donna_Gallers Would looooooove to try it, but seems far too much effort. Did you enjoy?Autocorrect changed "delete tweet" to "delete Terry", and I've just written a Black Mirror episode. @nickmurftweets Completely original. *deletes tweet from June 2011*Imagine if comedians were held to the same standards as people on Twitter. "Sorry, pal, you can't do that joke. You told it two weeks ago." @scottEweinberg Hudson Hawk. @James_SWilson I made that joke last year. Just with a different film.I was literally 😂 at this @PresidentShow clip last night. @TonyAtamanuik just might be a comedic genius:…
Retweeted by Chris HewittNever watch Fast 8 with John Virgo. "Where's the cueball going?" He's off to Germany. "Where's the cueball going?" Prison. "Where's the cuTonight on @BBCOne after @BBCMOTD @realmartinkemp comes to play on #MurderInSuccessville its one of my fav ever episodes. @bbcthree
Retweeted by Chris HewittThis is a heartbreaking failure for modern journalism
Retweeted by Chris HewittI've been laughing at this for 20 minutes 😂😂
Retweeted by Chris HewittI tried to get tickets for the Snooker World Championships. No luck. My cough just wasn't bad enough, maybe next year.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @aibcameron Doesn't quite work, that tweet, with the FX company name instead of Marvel. But yes.Might have to dig out the boxers again for tonight's MOTD, @GaryLineker. @Gary_Bainbridge @McKelvie I wouldn't want to say lest you question your workrate. @Gary_Bainbridge @McKelvie I've seen both! @Jock4twenty That'll do!I'm sure the two are unrelated.On the new Empire Podcast, we discuss whether Avatar has lost its cultural currency. I also forget the name of the planet on which it's set. @Flying_Inside Ha! @anaIdirgeprat The 'Burbs is available to download on Netflix. @deanlaccohee It wasn't. January release in the U.K. @Citycolt Wouldn't agree with that. @Priest_17 What did he say? #dadjoke @Slippery_Jack You can't shever Shean's head from his shpine. @trim_obey @LiamJMilburn Average week for Takashi Miike or Ben Wheatley. @AvP2015 @ShaneSweeney13 Doesn't mean I don't think they'll be good. Just not hugely excited. @AvP2015 @ShaneSweeney13 That's right. @k8andrews Holiday??? @Slippery_Jack TAKE ALL MY MONEYA fun game to play is to ask people their favourite film of 2017 and if they say, 'Get Out' you reply, 'how rude!' in a Jar Jar Binks voice. @Slippery_Jack Imagine. We wouldn't have Raiders... but we also wouldn't have Crystal Skull. SOPHIE'S CHOICE. @Scientits @emotionalpedant "Get out of the way, the shop's closing in five minutes!" @elbows_selbo Gotta love Ol' Chuckles. Sixth greatest living Northern Irishman. @scottmuldoon It does not. Gotta have rules, or my answer would be Civil War. @emotionalpedant I don't think so. But I am listening to some weird jazz. It's possible we may be on separate train… @LiamJMilburn As @trim_obey, I believe it was, said, it never Larrains but it pours. @101Facts1 They'd kill each other on their honeymoon. @SmBrdfrd The last 20 minutes is mega gaga. @GeorgeSeabrook Heh. @k8andrews Nonsense. If I can do this job, anyone can do it. @emotionalpedant We're narrowing it down. This is good. Yes! @DapperDan Madness. I think Oscar was largely off his nut this year. @CamilleBrunel That was Fast 8. And that's pretty much the exact quote. More of the same, more or less, with the emphasis heavily on more. @spielbergpod Statham. In all roles. @GeorgeSeabrook @SmBrdfrd It was weird and unsettling and creepy and fucked up and completely original. It was also… @Hydor18 No. Radcliffe was sensational in Swiss Army Man, and should have been nominated for an Oscar. @Slippery_Jack All at number one.