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News Editor (whatever that is) at @empiremagazine, host of the Empire Podcast, and Q&A-hole. It's ok. I wouldn't follow me either. Footy tweets @ChrisHewittLFC.

877 Following   24,995 Followers   61,713 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/11/09

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@felicitykate That's weird. I've no idea why that would have been cut out.
@here_comes_B Ours is shit. But you have to give him credit. At least he's consistently shit.I'm getting up in six hours to board a coach filled with strangers, bound for Liverpool. The things I do to be disappointed by football. @felicitykate Don't think so. To the former...The closest I'll ever get to being Johnny Utah.
Retweeted by Chris HewittHe's everywhere these days. @Team_Penster I wasn't going to say anything.Another fun Friday Film Club with @laurenlaverne. I think I was possessed by a demon halfway through, but I don't think anyone noticed. @ibmalone LOOK I NEARLY DIED DURING THE SHOW TODAY LET ME OFFAbout to dive into Friday Film Club with @laurenlaverne on @BBC6MorningShow. Come on in, the water's lovely. @mark_salisbury @jamie_graham9 Totally.
Watching that weird Top Gear prequel where Matt LeBlanc shares an apartment with a dude who looks nothing like Chris Evans. Or The Stig.In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, just lay on the floor. After 5 seconds, according to the laws of the Universe, you're inedible.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @gray Can you *imagine* if they did? @ORachaelO Ooh, that's purdy.Just received my new favourite email intro: "Greetings to you from Jeevan and the Kreatio Content Management and monetization add-ons team!"
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt"You got The Tucc! You got the power!" Looking for a space to write out of in SE London 15 - 19 Feb. Any ideas?
Retweeted by Chris HewittDue to popular demand: BATMAN FOREVER
Retweeted by Chris HewittI'm just pleased that Estelle finally got Joey a decent gig.
Retweeted by Chris HewittToday will go down on a history book. Not sure why. It's possible I may have misheard.My Unbound book campaign is now live! I'm so excited and nervous and hopeful. Please follow the link and share x
Retweeted by Chris HewittIn which a live-action Doraemon show takes a turn for the horrific.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @ChrisHewitt oh, you.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @bea_ker Both. In character, all the time. Wearing all Chris Evans' clothes.The LeBlanc news dropped as we were finishing up the recording of this week's podcast. I swear I didn't hear a word of the Trumbo review. @bea_ker I hope he does it as Joey from Friends. @TheRealNickKay Ha! How come yours is a much better quality pic than mine? Stupid Google search!This Matt LeBlanc Top Gear news has blown my mind. Prepare for Star In A Pile Of Reasonably Priced Cardboard Boxes. Jamie Vardy movie is only real if we allow it to be real. If we close our eyes and pretend it's not happening, it can't hurt us.Gilbert Gottfried on his infamous 9/11 joke and ‘Too Soon’.
Retweeted by Chris HewittThe "legal rape" events due to take place in this weekend have been cancelled because the men didn't feel safe.
Retweeted by Chris HewittOh Joey, you're incorrigible. ❤️
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Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @TillyTweets @paulmcevoy Ha! See you in the mosh pit? Last one there's a crazy Swede! @paulmcevoy @TillyTweets It's going to be amazing. *watches old man push button on a keyboard* @TillyTweets "PLAY 'BLAKE IN THE SANCTUARY!'" @TillyTweets Same. Excite.Rupert Bare
Retweeted by Chris HewittIf you can't handle me at my worst, (drunk, vomiting in a gutter with my dick out) you don't deserve me at my best (same but wearing a tie).
Retweeted by Chris HewittMy wife has just told me that if we ever go to Manchester for a weekend, she wants to take a tour of Old Trafford. Correction: my ex-wife. @chrismcquarrie *dances around the room* And now begins a five-year campaign for a retweet. @lrtpublicity @zelman_meats @FilmFan1971 @andyffgibbons @treekilltart I WANT TO GO TO THEREA masked maniac builds toilets out of wood in John Carpenter's John Carpenter.Can't believe this didn't go down a storm with the People Who Know The Names Of Minor Characters From John Carpenter's The Fog community.astronaut: and this is a photo of earth wife: lovely astronaut: earth again wife: lovely astronaut: this one is also of earth wife: lovely
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @NandySelson @HelenLOHara @JoeCunningham14 It's so difficult. But generally if they start as actors, then they're out. Silly fit directors! @Youngage1981 Embrace it. @wongotheinsane Pretty sure he doesn't say that.I love the endless male tears attached to every article about the new Ghostbusters. Tasty.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @mattsinger Amazing when that happens. You almost feel ashamed for laughing, judged by a crowd of curmudgeons.Donald Trump just quickly deleted this tweet.
Retweeted by Chris HewittThe day @Dolph_Lundgren and a ginger kitten (promoting Puss In Boots) came into the office at the same time.
Retweeted by Chris HewittJust bought a Mr. Machen speaking clock. "9.47 am. 857 minutes until midnight. Time for 28 more stories."Horror & genre movie fans! Don't miss Cannibal Holocaust + The Green Inferno w. @ChrisHewitt @empiremagazine
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @lwellsfilm I haven't. Haven't gone past episode six. I'll find the time one day.This must look like the plot to a fantasy adventure movie to non-Irish people
Retweeted by Chris HewittBOSS: Any ideas wh[breaking glass]why I summoned y[screams]you to my office?["Jim's dead!"] ME: Is it the veloci BOSS: It's the velociraptor
Retweeted by Chris HewittTed Cruz's father is insane, but in a fresh, exciting way:
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The Man that cancelled the fucking Apocalypse!!
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @ollymoss @AgentM Thigh know. @HelenLOHara @NickdeSemlyen Nothing says 'happy birthday' like a death spiral. @ollymoss @AgentM That's a peri-peri good pun, Olly, and you know it. @NickdeSemlyen This is why death spirals are dangerous and shouldn't be allowed in people's homes. @UpturnedBathtub Pints of what, and starting at what time? @AgentM You either Nando, or you Nandon't. @LegoGodzilla I've got tickets for the London show. On Halloween. I am very excited.Definitely my two favourite chick flicks.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @AgentM Don't pass a Nando's. Go inside, and marvel at chicken heaven. Perhaps I'll take you there one day. OR WILL I???To be fair, I'd need to live through a thousand Groundhog Days just to be able to spell Punxsutawney without googling it. @NickdeSemlyen EdMOND? #Justice4Edmund @yourturnheather Shit... You ok?Whoa. That's going to be one giant collection point. @ORachaelO It's entirely possible that my favourite film is still shit.So Krusty the clown came second in Iowa and Pennywise the clown from Stephen King's It won instead. Ah, America. #notscaredforthefutureatall
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Didn't make the cover of the Vanity Fair Hollywood issue again. Vanity UNfair, more like! Hahaha! This is an amusing I am going to die aloneIowa's political ads are awful but my favourite is the one that credits a fact to "Science".
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @biscuitahoy @dawneywawney I'll be honest with you. I can't 'scope. I CAN'T 'SCOPE. #wordplay @dawneywawney @biscuitahoy Don't move. I've almost got you in focus. @dawneywawney @biscuitahoy I can neither confirm or deny this allegation. (She has kidnapped my family. Or at least, the ones I like.) @HelenLOHara @StreetBloke76 @Shane_Murphy_95 Reacher stays away from that area. @bea_ker That dude seems nice.I don't know much, but I know any photo/video thread involving @biscuitahoy and @dawneywawney is GUARANTEED to be hilarious. And terrifying.Is it ok to open a whole bunch of accounts just so you can retweet yourself? Asking for a friend. @ChrisHewitt26 @ChrisHewittRT @CHewittROX @HelenLOHara @Shane_Murphy_95 I didn't even recommend a Reacher. @HelenLOHara @Shane_Murphy_95 The Stand.Just tried this too. Same result. Huh. Wouldn't put it past that absolute OUR BELOVED LEADER DAVID CAMERON @KristoferMcCue @HelenLOHara The word 'hate' is overused these days. I watched it, thought it was very poor, stopped watching it. No hate. @PodcastFilmChat @NickdeSemlyen @joshuahorowitz *extends firm handshake, holds eye contact a second too long* @jamieandaston @FolaSalako @Albina_Crosby Next time! @joshuahorowitz WHERE HAS THIS BEEN HIDING? @fiatpanda @MccarthyColm @kerihw I read this joke out loud in the office, and OFFICE PEDANT killed it stone dead within seconds.I've just discovered @joshuahorowitz's Happy Sad Confused. *makes happy face* *makes sad face* *makes confused face* @chrismcquarrie This had better involve Tom Cruise cramming rattlesnakes down his pants.The moment you figure out the big impossible… #MI6Diary
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