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Word jockey @empiremagazine, host of the Empire Podcast, Q&A-hole. Two-time winner of the internet. Also: @ChrisHewittLFC.

1,074 Following   35,066 Followers   84,355 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/11/09

YES MATE Applause. spoke to @chrismcquarrie about *that* Tom Cruise stunt and its effect on Mission 6. Your mission, should you choo… realised the irony of Instagram being the name of an app that shows you your friends' photos up to a week late
Retweeted by Chris HewittI just took four goes to write the word 'axe' in an email. And how are you?THE VERDICT's influence on me's huge. In our current age of "look at me!" directing, a powerful example of confiden…
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @Kai_Roberts6 That would be an exceptionally bad idea. @TimePositions A very good point.Email from Sideshow Collectibles has lodged in my spam filter. If this isn't the greatest 'walks into a bar' joke e… @JamesHunt "I'm sorry, you're not famous enough to tell." @SgtPeachfuzz Who?"How come he couldn't speak truth to me? What is Colbert now, a priest? This is BS! BOYCOTT BOND 25!" @BootstrapCook Put the pain in pain au chocolatImagine being one of the journalists given the straight bat by Daniel Craig yesterday, then getting home and watching him on Colbert...Holy shit.
Retweeted by Chris HewittOoh! Come to Daddy. arts college professor brutalizes Nazi, who has a permit. More alt-left indoctrination.
Retweeted by Chris HewittSure, the cancer was aggressive. But the chemotherapy was also very aggressive. There was aggression on both sides
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @Magpie_Dreams @MrKenShabby "What do you guys mean, 'shoot the breeze' is just an expression? I WANT YOU TO MACHINE GUN THE WIND!" @LukeWhiston He could, I guess. In which case I'd have to think very strongly about considering my options. @Scientits I'm teetotal, which is the alcohol equivalent of 'I'm a vegan!'. But I stay sober so I can remain vigila… is the year 2021. Packs of rabid dogs roam through the irradiated streets of America's cities. Twitter still hasn't banned Donald Trump. @TheycallmemrQ Those tickets weren't available on the site I was on.Last night a DJ didn't save my life Because Sam Neill sliced him with a knife Pretty unfortunate all round, really*that Gif where people at the Oscars give someone a standing ovation, you know the one*
#downwiththeatreOh, there's a play written by Steve Martin, starring Amy Schumer and Keegan-Michael Key. I'm sure that'll be nice and HOW FUCKING MUCH?Here's live footage of me looking at ticket prices to see Broadway shows in December. @SBienkowski I think they told Linda Blair about Trump. @brettgoldstein Yep. And it's a bloke with a sheet on his head. Like, whoa!Imagining the contortions Theresa May will go through in order not to condemn Trump. @brettgoldstein Same. It stays with you.New York hotel booked. You won't believe the deal I got at Trump International! To get a similar deal, use the discount code #TRUMPCUNTThe floor is the condemnation of white supremacists
Retweeted by Chris HewittVery quietly protesting the existence of the Hosnian system
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @MickyBell He is a monster. Pure and simple. And he'll serve eight years. At least. @steve_gallagher I have.What a complete and utter Trumpcunt. As if he meant a word of his statement yesterday.Twelve days ago
Retweeted by Chris HewittA groovy read for fans of Mr Campbell. @hayleycampbell We really have learned this... the hard way. Oh wait, that makes me a bigger cunt, doesn't it? @ptebbutt83 Absolutely none. #teetotalYes. I see. @Flying_Inside @FolaSalako Fancy a curry now. Damn you, Scott.Looks like the podcast drinking game and I are off to New York in December, peeps. We demand snow and Christmas lights aplenty. @FolaSalakoGoodo. Men."For balance, we will now have a Nazi on every show to provide the opposing view"
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @ollyog That's Zone Nooooooooooooo! @cakemountain God bless Jim Carrey.
@robinjava Wasn't an option. @skippingjack *doffs cap* @davidclewis I should have finished that sentence. @davidclewis Season five. The Chandler/Monica storyline was genuinely funny, when it could have been. @Greigslo Sure! The podcast would immediately have to close due to lack of listeners, though.REAL TALK: that Spider-Man suit wouldn't fit Sergei. @jamie_graham9 He's awful, Jamie. Awful.Even if I wasn’t involved in ‘Baby Driver’ I'd be thrilled that an original movie did well to in a franchise heavy…
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @Soz_abar_me I enjoy it, but that actor is stealing a living. I'm angry now. @Craigyvg6 I don't even know his name. I will never learn it. I refuse to learn it. Actually, you know what his nam… @paulbarrow1 YES! I GOT IT RIGHT! @Soz_abar_me I'm only just getting into it, but I'd honestly start every episode with the death of the granddad. Dr… is no character in TV history more utterly pointless than the granddad on Blue Bloods. Well, maybe Frank on 30 Rock.I'm watching the episode of BLUE BLOODS where Donnie Wahlberg looks angry and intense. @ItsAndyRyan @MrKenShabby @SMERSHPOD There is no Cainepod without Noises Off! @Mark15624507 @LiveEUDebate Breathe. Relax. That's it. Good. Ready to talk about punctuation?This one's doing the rounds again, inviting yet another horde of halfwits to squeeze their way through the hellmout… (I have had Fierce Creatures for five months and can't find it, please help) is an amazing word. Largely because it reminds me of what I did at dessert.Vol. 1 won this by a considerable margin. Just wait until Vol. 3, with its 300 song soundtrack. @Flying_Inside I like that album. Over-produced to within an inch of its life, but there are some good songs on there.Another week, another caption I'm sure the New Yorker will pass over…
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt @film_quiz "EXCEPT AFTER ME!" he screams, tearing his shirt open and diving out the window. @film_quiz We know one of them! @DapperDan It's Guardians-related, Dan.Keep 'em coming! @sebpatrick A good point! @Brendan_Surrey Gah! @awarmann The songs. @sebpatrick Don't get me started on how two songs from Guardians 1 should be on Awesome Mixtape 2, and how Father &…