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GUARDIAN ANGEL OF SLIDES AND TEXAS FOOTBALL

3 Following   27,446 Followers   11,804 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/6/14


I would be made of all forearms if I was god https://t.co/zs9xjBB03fI put in a requisition to have the undertaker at practice TWO YEARS AGO so I guess they got around to it great https://t.co/hoV4Eh1528No DMX F- https://t.co/3RFogQKEk3I think u have a good job https://t.co/ygS4UPeSiN
3/23
2017
"The burner area" haha funny guy if there was a fire the plane would explode go to college https://t.co/hQ5WAXqT9gAre propeller engines just like jet engines without clothes onThe Texas part https://t.co/XhPhvM37CVWhatever the legal limit is https://t.co/eLdN1gXjhl
3/22
2017
I continue to not eat burgers https://t.co/OaqdxyvEiENo thanks I live on earth https://t.co/9EVGSu2qzW😳 https://t.co/Kd5EvlvALkI'm like Jesus only with a better clean and jerk https://t.co/ZsSytblKmCYes easy alligators are nocturnal so I'd wait til he was asleep https://t.co/vu1uOh5lcrWhat the hell is jenga https://t.co/xjMTypsJ8tLegs https://t.co/YIBH5WmGPLIs it a spyder https://t.co/UIJown70tII think the question is have I not choke slammed anyone in Florida yet https://t.co/my8qskpqUxNo Yes https://t.co/FauZBnxEJ1Yes Jason I will ride in your fararri https://t.co/luRrl5g6gnI wouldn't say I like it bob https://t.co/DGIeWEGHVZi want to come back seriously they are paying me in croakies and salt life stickers down hereNo they're all water "slides" https://t.co/eJ4LVbEFTyOU https://t.co/BhWZndz5ALOoo I want notifications that light up is it an app where d u https://t.co/3BDumZ2PnrI miss u too jordan https://t.co/fxO7AD8oH9The Florida part of it https://t.co/GdMmKab1ZpBasketlol https://t.co/vHsWFD38UXPeople ask me hey charlie how is Florida and I say it's just like Texas only worseSay that to this BOOM CHOKESLAM https://t.co/LQP4vTA9iNWorld poetry day entry #3 The wins didn't come So Tom Herman you hired Maliks my son I still can't be firedMore poetry Bc I love poetry Riddle me this riddle me that Ou sucksIt's world poetry day guys Violets are blue Roses are thorny You fired me And got coach horny
3/21
2017
I think everyone should know that Tom Herman stole the core values but even worse it looks like he's a pillow thief… https://t.co/Oomqcba7w4
2/19
2017
.@CoachTomHerman I may not have had the wins but I was undefeated in never hiring Art Brile defenders Texas is better than this Tim
1/12
2016
HEY ERRBODY READ THIS https://t.co/XQ62Ovn5zuEasy I'm an angel I can do anything I can throw lightning https://t.co/YAUFiujobeI loved that song by Eric claptons https://t.co/mjrGUYmxX9I promise I will never die Bc I'm an angel https://t.co/9iEh13qMbcWhoa it's like I'm the wizard of ods https://t.co/riHEsf1ioiTO WALK ALONG THE LONELY STREEEEEEET OF DREEEAMSAND I KNOW WHAT IT MEANSLIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONEWALKIN DOWN THE ONLY ROAD IVE EVER KNOWNHERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWNI don't know I'm kind of panicked it's why I'm crying in a sauna right now fully clothed it's very hot https://t.co/sIigilsj4ZNo there are no tests in heaven unless you love tests then there are millions up to even thousands of them https://t.co/6kqPuebO7P.@rosettastone do you have a cd that teaches cubanese need to know asap.@USFFootball do you guys pick me up on the beach in a dingy and do we drive to Cuba from thereHow did u already get a picture of me in that turtleneck are u from the future https://t.co/sPifaRXPDZHow many times do I have to say it https://t.co/YXtMjDaHTzI have some advice for you I love turtlenecks https://t.co/T5SfAdZhrKLies https://t.co/kUgnd9f3eFIt's true I am afraid of the power of his cheek kisses tho https://t.co/eA4AMTvj2eI don't recall that ever happening https://t.co/cNR3cjsxKEAs the coach of all of Cuba I look forward to learning cubanDon't remember https://t.co/D9ItmniIF1That is a lie I have never been to florida https://t.co/Tros9SiIVnI'm going to be honest with you I have no idea how this happened I don't even know where south Florida is is it in Cuba 🇨🇺Wait south Florida is the longhorns too are u serious https://t.co/WYR0qMUKuUHow did this happen I don't want to go I am guardian of slides I refuse to leave Florida is a terrible place I want to stay in heavenNo https://t.co/romXfzp1uHI what https://t.co/Bbvo4RaSJ9I told them I would only come if I was coach of all of Florida https://t.co/EaDYefhDlaDon't you mean slides closing in on a 5 year contract https://t.co/VSmWlL5rqjI've already seen it we get all the best shows up in heaven way before they come out it is so good SO GOOD. https://t.co/V0y9KcAAoK
12/11
2016
I'm not so much in Austin but over it https://t.co/wTVKMkoFS1Why would I change my name https://t.co/xQcj8EZLeRI'm at 50 slides they're at one slide so probably not happening https://t.co/32koutS47EYes definitely https://t.co/hmUx4IqXu0
12/8
2016
Wow hong kong is just like heaven https://t.co/v448AxhzeXNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO https://t.co/WSdgtggdfRPutting together my own angel wrestling league https://t.co/c0nN1LV4Jc#ERRBODY https://t.co/gKGeJT3MlTWhere is that is it near Austin https://t.co/TzA8a2Yxzb
12/7
2016
Nope https://t.co/LRK1kJGjKbOkay Marcus how bout this joke Knock knock Who's there Coach Rhule I'm a paterno apologist You're hired https://t.co/bfzZgKgH1uHey look Baylor hired a Joe paterno apologist great job BaylorHe'd have to order me to do it but because he is a benevolent god he would never do that to someone https://t.co/ON9JCF8J5D
12/6
2016
My man https://t.co/12LoiHBhJK
12/5
2016

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