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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey Brooklyn, NY

I am a performance artist who makes shows that have comedy and music inside of them. my real life is on insta: erin_markey

1,111 Following   2,926 Followers   7,821 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/9/09


In no particular orderSome artists to be into: 1. Kate Bornstein 2. Brontez Purnell 3. Starr Busby 4. Lorelei Ramirez 5. Charlene
6/26
2017
@captaindingbat Omg shut it
6/25
2017
How french do you like your zones called #aircanada
6/24
2017
For my birthday this year I want people to stop referring to food as elevated
6/22
2017
Toronto is very Wisconsin gone Wild
6/19
2017
I remember the first time I heard my dad say the f word. It was on take your daughter to work day.
6/15
2017
Look at the plaque psoriasis running down my gallbladder meridian one more time & I'll stagnate your qi faster than u can whimper #liverheatBest way to stay cool on a hot summer day? Layer slices of Kirby cucumbers onto your scalp underneath a ball cap or a lace front!
6/12
2017
I think maybe Netflix just won best musical? #TonyAwards2017Accepting the award for Hello Dolly Scott Disick's sobriety journey #TonyAwards2017Accepting the award for Hello Dolly Bette Midler's REFUSAL TO PERFORM #TonyAwards2017Been waiting all night for slidey chairs #TonyAwards2017I can do dishwashers, tires, gel pens, you name itThe library is openOne of my special skills is reading inanimate objects to filth. If u would like to commi$$ion me to make a burn book about your glasses....
6/11
2017
Happy birthday to Geminis. FYI Whitney Houston and I are Leos.This Is Just To Say I have eaten the baby shoes that were for sale Forgive me they were delicious so small and never worn
Retweeted by Erin Markey
6/10
2017
I was born a brave little toaster and I will die a brave little toaster
6/9
2017
Yesterday i gave birth to a beautiful healthy 8 lb 3 oz boy. Please welcome WebMD Christopher Markey into the world!!The juiciest part of the pear is the sticker
6/6
2017
Sorry to any straight people who are queer and will find out later!nyt modern love section is so straight couples on halloween
6/5
2017
I refuse to watch this wrinkle-free khakis man drink a blueberry smoothie from his bullet on the subway SAID THE NATION'S DEAREST LIAR
6/2
2017
Should i watch the season premiere of the Bachelorette or a Somatic Experiencing video on sexual traumaFeeling grateful for the time God put into making sure I feel delighted by reusing jarsEsther Perel's podcast is the messiah
6/1
2017
don't have health insurance right now so trying to just hive mind my way thru itdo u think inflammation has anything to do w/ the rib god stole from Adam to make a dirty slut for him to hang out with
5/21
2017
Idea Men can only legally marry men one of them has to lay naked on the couch wearing the heart of the ocean the other is Leonardo DiCaprio
5/20
2017
Everywhere I travel people are always asking me What's yr favorite food what's yr favorite food For the last time It's black peppercorns
5/15
2017
The saddest moment of my body's day was unconsciously googling "am I getting my period right now" @maguirekevin But can't you see Lynch as the Michael Flynn to Paulson's Yates? @ABKman She would also be good as Donald Trump's Deleted Illegal Tweets @billycheer She's Ted cruzCan't wait for Sarah Paulson to get her filthy mitts all over the role of Sally Yates
5/9
2017
Are tan lines the new wedge salad?
5/3
2017
Just added! @ErinMarkey is back and #killingboners indeed. Nobody like this girl. 6/18! Tix: https://t.co/5z0e8ahX3T
Retweeted by Erin Markey
4/29
2017
We've got a hot crustacean band @MissLoreleiLee https://t.co/RekmJrtiz6 @kattedesco Hahahahahahaha
4/23
2017
Brontez Purnell is one of my all time fav artists and @kathleenhanna is sweetening the honey pot! https://t.co/W0iiJCGeAi
4/21
2017
Flonase just as delicious as mayonnaise
4/20
2017
@SoniaMManzano @WoL_NYC @MetOpera @sstefanovic @silkyjumbo Ditto
4/8
2017
It's not fair to be wary of every single person named Milo but now I am :(
4/5
2017
Being second chair viola in middle school has prepared me for almost every life event
4/4
2017
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha https://t.co/h1VnXEHQLM
4/1
2017
Say toxins one more time for mommyI'm playing Mass MOCA tonight. Tell your Western Mass frenz! https://t.co/7KFstt4wg3
3/31
2017
irs hold music is poppin this yearTonight! https://t.co/vIYCEZu2yl
3/29
2017
Have u ever sprinted 2 a butcher shop while reading pwr pt presentation called "why belle should have married Gaston" all 4 bone broth
3/24
2017
@wkndpartyupdate 1. Check 2. https://t.co/6YPH12uOxL @wkndpartyupdate what would I have to do to get you to paint a picture of me nude covered in psoriasis wearing the heart of the ocean
3/20
2017
you too can keep afloat by purchasing here: https://t.co/rcWKirJDE1 https://t.co/R79MfILF19 @imaswampwitch hahaha so impressed re: that tubI'll give u $1 to write a lullaby but the star of the song has 2 be the word slapdash
3/19
2017
Do you remember the day you learned what the word putative means https://t.co/BnZAMedWuK
3/18
2017
#TrumpTaxReturn https://t.co/fLiSmwtuxp
3/14
2017
Today is our digital release of our album A Ride On The Irish Cream. Purchase here: https://t.co/r4pSL2PHPK https://t.co/TReVv8ENuv
3/13
2017
I feel sorry for winter that it has to be this flamboyant to get people to notice get some therapy
3/11
2017
We Asked 10 Powerful Women for Their Secrets to Success and They Said "Pretend to be a Horse"… https://t.co/xX7RyuQhYA
Retweeted by Erin Markey
3/9
2017
Why does "me undies"' own every podcast
3/8
2017
Please help Christeene serve https://t.co/P4YNYhG0ir @MissLoreleiLee hajahahahaja Are these shoes bad for me @dereksasquatch for one month all I could do was read @dereksasquatch elena ferrante's napolitano series
3/6
2017
Mark Cofta reviews 'A Ride on The Irish Cream,' a synthesis of @ErinMarkey's childhood memories. https://t.co/moO2NQCHfQ
Retweeted by Erin Markey
3/2
2017
I wish I had had kids when I was an infant so I could hang out with them right now. I would be a good mom to children of my same peer group.
2/25
2017
"A Ride on The Irish Cream" by @ErinMarkey is coming to #Chicago next weekend! FREE as part of #OnEdge 2017. Info -… https://t.co/ruYlKgo9x8
Retweeted by Erin Markey
2/17
2017
ew two too many white girls asking beyonce to be their mom
2/13
2017
Y'all wanna feel old? Be ten years old, but be a large dogyou better thank Celine for saying hello like she meant it #Grammysi used to have a lover who referred to my sacral chakra as Little Big TownGrammy Camp sounds like my kind of campif this doesn't move organically into Tracy Chapman's Fast Car i don't know what the do-over was about #GRAMMYs @MissLoreleiLee not gonna waste this bachelor's degree @MissLoreleiLee i'm just saying i don't think we have to risk 18 years with a new thing we'd have to take care of to look good on tv @MissLoreleiLee the right abuse of the right pills will help us
2/12
2017

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