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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey New York, NY

comedianish person who makes live shows with music ig: oneninehundredcake

1,048 Following   2,757 Followers   7,416 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/9/09


Hillary IS a badass & a good listener. Pumped to b part of vocal group pushing her towards peaceful & inclusive leadership when she's prez..@billclinton got a balloon and he is keeping it. #DemConvention #DemsInPhilly https://t.co/nWeC8EkxAi
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyWhy is everyone suddenly so anti-pantsuit. That's been the presidential look since 1789.PS voting for hill obvi https://t.co/bQEiWnghgz
7/29
2016
If she was smart she would have a guy on stilts juggling AK 47s behind herIn my first 100 days I'm gonna launch Babysitting University just to screw Ann M. Martin for the fun of itI'd give my third eye to work at the Scranton Lace Mill @ErinMarkey there's more than one way to build a movementI voted for bernie ok but i think idina menzel should be sitting next to him right now quietly humming let it go @ErinMarkey this isn't a sex joke. Its a tv ratings as votes tip, and I'm not even close to kidding around @ErinMarkey I'm actually into tim kaine but think it would have been stronger for her to nominate monica as vp @ErinMarkey I am telling you that is how you beat trumpThey should have had monica introduce herCHELSEA PLEASE DO NOT WEAR NUDE PUMPS IN 2016 IM SORRY BUT YOUR MOM JUST LOST A VOTEI demand partial writing credit on this tweet https://t.co/TUuolk514b
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyThe only way we can landslide win is if hillary sings Hello and humiliates Adele by refusing to duet with her on the second repeatAmerican straight women need to be able to imagine their president fucking them. I vote for hillary to come outDo you think hillary's gonna singSTAY COOL THIS SUMMER: treat DNC like episode of The Voice. Listen from the kitchen & slam your hand down on the table when u got your girlTrying to find somebody who goes by jennifer to get mad at so I can call her Clownifer behind her back @yuriOkwon @JoeBiden SEERIOUSLY. GET OUT THE VOTE.
7/28
2016
Colby Keller just gave me all of his delegates. https://t.co/Z9BNhRr389Tonight! Erin Markey: Humping a Gatorade Bottle at 9:30pm Tix: https://t.co/PouOt4lb2z https://t.co/1tVuS0Z0M1
7/27
2016
We just figured out that Wasserman should wear a Bernie disguise when she works on Hill's campaign. WHO'S WITH MEI'd like to see the oligarchy put on ONE HELL OF A BROADWAY SHOWDoes bernie know that a microphone is amplifying his voice
7/25
2016
Soda streams farting across the courtyard as I yell VICKI NO to the kitten eating my armTiniest sinks on the east coast
7/24
2016
Feel like I'm drinking a microwaveI can think of another organization that also "changed the New York skyline."
7/22
2016
some kind of footsies thing happening w Laura Ingraham and Celine Dion backstage at RNC? can anyone confirm? https://t.co/ewJRftu1C3
7/21
2016
Ew. I'm on a bus and I just took off my Veuve Clicquot promotional glasses and winked at the freeway while listening to Dan Savage
7/20
2016
Betch I cannot take a picture of you with every drag queen here it's my Bastille Day too @cassiejsneider bustin makes me feel good"The Joanne Holiday Show" screening at @NoBudge festival at @Videology Monday July 25th.. https://t.co/4MEN47gZef https://t.co/MvbnPlEStk
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyReplace cops with all the nuns who want to be priests and see if that is a better solution. Not sure it is but would love to just see.
7/16
2016
We used to beg him not to play Neil Diamond's America in the van
7/15
2016
And I Could Have Watched A Hundred More Selena Music Videos That Night, Doctor by Erin Markey **presale starts next week**
7/12
2016
need to see the cash under your mattress before you say new york is a whore pretending to be a lady
7/10
2016
One thing I know for sure: if you try to prank call people in NYC they will only pick up if you are dialing from an LA area codeexcited 2 research fun facts about @CVS_Extra for twttr this wknd while my body loses ability to fight off its disease waiting 4 a refill.
7/9
2016
I would like to get this response printed on my bedding and sleep under it every night. https://t.co/lJFoRjYtW7
7/8
2016
@dereksasquatch @WellsFargo @KimKardashian @ChipotleTweets I miss Whitney Houston :( @dereksasquatch @WellsFargo @KimKardashian while waiting for my macaroni and cheese water to boil @dereksasquatch @WellsFargo i just watched a trailer of the @kimkardashian sex tape from 10 years ago two times in a row
7/5
2016
I'm guesting on this awesome podcast https://t.co/UeQL48JCw0
6/30
2016
Interview in Vice! Tickets to Erin Markey: Humping A Gatorade Bottle tmrw night: https://t.co/AqOLRFtKBS https://t.co/k1S9BVAZhYclick my LANK and I'll keep your toes awake on that elliptical, gerrr
6/28
2016
Brenter. Tix to ERIN MARKEY: Humping a Gatorade Bottle https://t.co/AqOLRFtKBS https://t.co/fc0yMxM5B0
6/24
2016
Tickets to ERIN MARKEY: Humping a Gatorade Bottle https://t.co/8KdD2L8NNm https://t.co/XTfHITCVFm
6/23
2016
@JulianFlei meat pie is murder
6/22
2016
Look for me IN the gay pride parade this year. I'll be playing electric clarinet on the Will and Jada's Kids float!
6/21
2016
My new summer series starts in a week and a half at the duplex. @ The Duplex Cabaret and Piano Bar https://t.co/rJGlgWTnKaI don't normally RT compliments but this is the best one I've ever gotten https://t.co/7dTRJdG1NN
6/18
2016
google searched "isis lesbian" and it gave me a bunch of babysitter porn
6/16
2016
Whoah. WhiHo's "I Have Nothing" is in three four?Just realized I'm the scrub TLC warned us about
6/13
2016
Using today as a laboratory to explore my teenage history of using babysitting as a paid opportunity to binge eat my neighbors' gushersAn Open Letter to Drawstring Backpacks
6/9
2016
The least useful button on the gameboy
6/5
2016
"Only two times I ever needed you was now and forever"
6/2
2016
Tonight! @womenofletters celebrates their season finale w/ guests@BebeBuellBand @lg_lauragomez @ErinMarkey & more! 7PM!
Retweeted by Erin MarkeySorry @Hellmanns but I will not be supporting your fucking egg free mayo in this years election. LGBT rights are human rights
6/1
2016
@AliLiebegott don't break my heartI don't know any fools who like raisins
5/31
2016
BK’s Funniest: Erin Markey, a comic who blends stand-up, cabaret, and performance art https://t.co/bywqAXABhO https://t.co/0EXrXrFyvg
Retweeted by Erin Markey
5/28
2016
Tomorrow night's #BRUCEFORMA guest @ErinMarkey is one of the 50 Funniest Brooklynites! https://t.co/v1B0IStmj1 https://t.co/yJZhFYQdab
Retweeted by Erin Markey
5/26
2016
Found out the touchscreen way that a cure for mild depression is steel drums cover of cheeseburger in paradise while playing kardashian app
5/22
2016
If you see one live show ever. Make it this. https://t.co/WrjPmIFEze
Retweeted by Erin Markey
5/20
2016
I'm not the only one telling horsey sweet lil war secrets #huma #weiner @ Hot Diggidy Dog https://t.co/IT0ZWkztQV.@ColeEscola but what if that's my retirement plan @lilyblueyez so wait. She's divorcing her parents and that's how the series ends???
5/14
2016
FREE THINGS TO DO IN NYC: get the inside scoop on shingles while you wait for your psoriasis scripts at duane readePeople at the bloodwork lab think I'm pretty and fun. Only in nyc!
5/6
2016
@tomleger @AntiochReview WOW the essay is so so so condescending, like dangerously so.
5/5
2016
Save The D if ya got it in you. MAY 12. A night of duets with me and Emily Bate. Critics Pick in @TimeOutNewYork https://t.co/qAAKhXwqbN @SocMalpractice @AiANews my fantasy is that i'm only playing to my friends' parents, aunts and uncles
5/2
2016
"Oklahoma's a show about a picnic. Carousel's a show about life." -Jody
5/1
2016
@macartney @HalfStraddle https://t.co/oU0e6XkfLN
4/28
2016
I've spent some of the best afternoons of my life watching soaps in the callen lorde 5th floor waiting areaWhat I mean: Come see Ghost Rings runs thru Sat only! https://t.co/18ZoHoM2e4i would donate $$ to research to make it possible for me to hold my baby while i look at the ocean but baby doesn't exist before or after.
4/27
2016
Proud to shay that Ghost Rings got an awes review in the NY Times yesterday. 6 shows left. Tix… https://t.co/THtpBAJ3zH
4/26
2016
New beginnings: in this gorge cottage in France starting research on my first novel Ms. Eat Shit and Die If Yer Nasty. Thank you, Warren!
4/22
2016
What's the cutest thing your roommate has ever baked from scratch? Crackers round this a way.
4/21
2016
Count down! @HalfStraddle GHOST RINGS w/@chris_giarmo, @ErinMarkey, Kristen Sieh,Tina Satter https://t.co/eL4zQq3Dkq https://t.co/5DsQeMOxkv
Retweeted by Erin Markey
4/20
2016
@mbsycamore already wearing the tell tale sticker. They'll never let me in. And it's permanent!I had an opportunity to be drunk inside an elementary school and I blew it. Feel like I wasted my vote. @NicoleJGeorges @ChiChiDeVayne wait I'm not finished watching!!!! @tomleger you should be her friend
4/19
2016
today I took a class called Diesel and while we were in a squat the teacher told us to crack that nut also ryan seacrest is gay
4/17
2016
I would vote for Hillary to be commander in chief of giving choice ass eye roll to her bff offstageI think Hillary would definitely be way more qualified than Bernie to be a judge on Rupaul's Drag Race buy i might like watching Bernie more"I'm the only one on this stage" -Hillary ClintonThose pearls came from my oystersHill is wastedI dare you to innovate the word wanderlust and then hashtag your Meyers Briggs personality type into your tinder profile
4/14
2016
Your insta gives me the bumps
4/13
2016
First Look | @ErinMarkey infuses identity politics with gut-busting humor—@SocMalpractice: https://t.co/lp9WrDNMol https://t.co/sqfrEibqHv
Retweeted by Erin Markey
4/11
2016
Not a joke: I write (#tinder) on a deserted island off the coast of wall street & when I hear the party boat toot at 5:45pm it's time to go
4/8
2016

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