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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey Brooklyn, NY

Former Governor of Arkansas, Grandmother, Elena Ferrante aficionado, performance artist, barks at babies // insta: @erin_markey

1,133 Following   3,038 Followers   7,918 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/9/09

@neilgoldberg Bend over and I'll show u
Sharon Stone is queer women's Meryl Streep @eliotglazer #stuffedcabbagei have a lot of stagnated qi from resentment regarding not being cast as a Menendez brother in new Edie Falco star vehicle
@amandathripp wow i'm triple fire
Miss you, Anne Heche Hope 2 C U soonI Ate Every Walnut a new miniseries about a young woman and her protein boxAlso, they are giving "lay an egg" for the verb "play" COME ON. DO I NEED TO BUILD A HOUSE ON THE THESAURUS DOT COM'S FRONT LAWN??wow. thesaurus dot com gives "finger" as a synonym for "manipulate" i have been had. @Helen_E_Shaw More theaters, more grades!!!! Puh leeeezeHere's an idea for a TV show: grateful for the digits of my phone number @YardTheatre i could read these for the rest of my life @NicoleJGeorges Like a fool I didn't do any moves
Voluntarily listening to "hand jive" by myself in my hotel roomDiary, By lunch I mean a $7 bucket of cut up watermelon. ❤️, Edear diary I'm eating lunch at a metal table in a whole foods parking lot in Pittsburgh + listening to steel drum bands on my 'phones. ❤️, EThis wise old baby is here in just TWO FREAKING WEEKS
Retweeted by Erin Markey @YardTheatre HaahahahahaI used to get typecast as bitchy teen or sexy scientist but I'm now moving into wise old baby* territory *heroine addict
@YardTheatre Hahahahaha
Donald Trump just asked me to be the US Poet Laureate and I said noJust saw the game Guess Who on a shelf at the Pittsburgh @acehotel and thought it was me
It's the one hour anniversary of me watching Bachelor in Paradise on my laptop at a P.F. Chang's in the Detroit airport
The weirdest part of my day is always when I remember that I am the inventor of the mom concept
Shopping out my children's book The Lazy Coffee Lid that Couldn't Be Botheredwaiting for cramps 2 pass sat on train platform with empty oversized suitcase from Lot-Less listening to Glenn Close sing With One Look
also if the future is female why couldn't i find one good dance party anywhere on facebook tonighti would give anything to be as popular as the series Friendsif you voted for pretending like you don't care about the eclipse you can go ahead and unfollow me
I don't need to know anything about your mental illness history but I do need to know who went through an amazing race time and who didn't
A baby is giving me the middle finger But with her foot Even more insulting @MildlyBitter Hahahaha @MildlyBitter Holding out for when fist gets eyes and lips painted onto it and it starts talking @MildlyBitter Yeah dystopian framework of rape is not visually transgressive even if her eyes are shaking with trauma @MildlyBitter Been thinking about this A LOT
Post Audition: just saw a poster for a chance the rapper show and thought that chance the rapper was my name and then got nervous about show"let the commas guide you" mmmmmmmmmmmmmm #acting
Just audibly bawked at the price of a jar of dilly beans aka received an honorary doctorate from Mom University
Does this have anything to do with Scaramucci telling the New Yorker that Steve Bannon sucks his own cock swear Trump is just trying to upstage Sam Shepard right now #ScaramucciThe main thing I've learned from all my travels is that I don't enjoy carrying things and I probably never will
also my snatch game character would be Gordon Ramsay because I believe in celebrating living poetsMy favorite poetry is when Gordon Ramsay yells at home cooks on a restaurant line
Just watched footage of sporty spice in a white dreadlocks wig singing I Don't Know How to Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstarstopped eating sugar a while ago just put a raisin in my mouth & got confused about whether it's the most delicious thing I've ever eaten
Disability rights activists saved your healthcare. They've also been doing radical work for decades. We owe them so much
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyIf u beep out the rhythm to shave and a haircut with your car more than twice a week then we need to fuck!And honestly I'll use any opportunity to get hyped for Top ChefBUT it would be more fun to blame Tom ColicchioBut it would be even easier to blame trumpIt would be easy to blame this man for my automatic self crueltyIn shock Just looked at a bald man with a beard on the train wearing very expensive sunglasses and thought I'm such a fuck up
Love to flush a public toilet with my clog!!! #summer #leoGeerls with long thick hair: your most effective intimidation tactic in the boardroom is to pull a hair from your scalp and start flossing
Turn down the lights/ Turn down the bed/ Turn down these voices inside my head/ suddenly associating military w trans identity out of nowhere is a cheap attempt @ building nationalism via hatred bc of healthcareIt's a conundrum and that's the money maker. Shock and awe.So, no, I do not want to acknowledge his profit mongering, homicidal hatred. But also---have to reach out to people FEELING THISIt's a recipe for literally killing people via suicide and assault/homicide.If you are trans, if you are gender non-conforming. It makes your heart hard and sad. It's a reminder people don't think u r a person.But even if u r spiritually & politically above it w every fiber of your being, seeing the "leader" of yr country say this is soul crushingIt's how he is in the position he is in.He is making money off of saying stuff like this. He's in entertainment. This is how it works.I don't want to acknowledge him on any levelI hesitate to comment cause Trump does this as monetized clickbaitOnly trans people can be in any armies I give a shit about
@billycheer I'm fine with that just want to get it right before we schedule everybody @billycheer So we gave uncle Jesse nothing? @billycheer uncle jesse is posh, rightA rosé water slide in Bushwick called UTI (Under The Influence)
Spicer leaving makes the rest of us look really bad for not doing it first @heyteebs Once I got going I was able to put in a full 8The only thing besides Trump being in office making it hard to sleep is the four hour nap I took this afternoon
@TheLivingMJ My dad helped with their fire alarms :(Here are the choices
only very cheeky lyricists can pull off *gossamer* post 1959I read this brilliance on race and couldnt help thinking the world could really use Fran Lebowitz blogging or tweet…
Retweeted by Erin Markey
@LouisPeitzman Oh my garrrrd
I'd like 2 take a moment 2 exploit this inevitably fleeting fame for a gift-- a necklace w/ the name Cathy Cesnick spelled in golden cursive