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992 Following   1,803 Followers   23,983 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/28/09

Forgot about the romaine thing til the salad I ordered for dinner was placed in front of me. please pray for me. @HeyRatty no, totally agreed. mind blowing. things are getting better though. hopefully. @HeyRatty yeah it's terrible and absolute bullshit but you know what credit where credit is due!also shoutout to hannibal buress.Do Weinstein next!in honor of #TakeYourChildToWorkDay please stop calling your child your "mini me" it's very weird.I was bored on the train this morning so I created the Complete History of Cool Backpack Guy please enjoy used my V1 Specs for exactly 1 week. Y'all. Stop. anyone else get extremely hype listening to the theme music from The Daily podcast?I don’t have the emotional stamina to handle another day of Kanye Twitter.
It is right and good!!! @alexisanne_ I’m sorry what the fuck Alexis27 minutes left to vote in the greatest battle of our generation my fans <3*sees trump retweeting kanye* @madebyjane omg I cannot wait to get home tonight and watching handmaid's tale in 2017 me watching handmaid's tale in 2018 @graemeknows "CAN EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE GO ON MUTE?" @graemeknows "I THINK THERE'S AN ECHO."I saw a screenshot of this tweet and thought it was fake but nope. Glad Kim draws the line at blatant Trump support. @graemeknows i just spit omg."HI! WHO JOINED!?!?"
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuelethis is horrifying. @TheNextWeb @zachgrosser @AlejandroTauber this kind of stuff is toxic for our industry. it makes women second guess… @gavinthinking right?? @msaunsen @rcadden yeah Ricky not to pile on but that's a lot of blankets. The only way that's bearable is if you t… so to all of you monsters who don't use top sheets, what do you do with them?? you can't just buy a fitted sheet… @TheNextWeb @zachgrosser 375. If you’re going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream! Delete this… @TheNextWeb @zachgrosser 371. Most women don’t know where to look when they’re eating a banana. what the fuck :) @TheNextWeb @zachgrosser 19. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. Like guys. You're a te… @zachgrosser @TheNextWeb 4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer. Seriously??
Dresses without pockets are the patriarchy
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @rickykelley Have I kicked mine to the bottom of the bed many times? Sure. But I had no idea people just didn’t use them!! @rickykelley Like why do we think about these thingsOmg if you’re team no top sheet you better wash your duvet cover A LOT. @rickykelley is MIND BLOWING to me that my fellow millennials aren’t using top sheets. Is this a real thing? @MorganMurphles New pic is cute AF though.Thank GOD for checks and balances. Wow. This is amazing. @MorganMurphles So good. @CBSNews cbs no.I just found out some people my age actually donate money to their alma mater. Wow. Really makes you think.Oh my god. to everyone for ignoring my typo here. Too late to delete. @vozos Or even a "Folks!"When someone starts an email with "All," you know something shit is going down. Nothing good ever follows that word…'s fun to laugh at all the awkward videos of Trump trying to be affectionate with reluctant partners until you re…
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @attackofthetext PREACH 🙌 (i would read a longer form of this rant if it exists in blog form or something...) @HeyRatty @CutlerDave *puts on serious adult pants* thank you gentlemen. it's been my pleasure. *takes puff of cigar* @CutlerDave @HeyRatty We've been using Maid Pro since we moved to Salem and they've been delightful!
This is also not a fucking joke what is happening am I gonna die tonightI haven’t seen A Quiet Place but my Alexa just started playing “Do You Believe in Magic” when the room was empty so… to the rando who just liked this horrible instagram I posted in 2013. #bored #selfie #shoes @ClaireSuellen I vote yes you should do that, but also check out @goodwitchkitchn who runs a delightful plant-based Instagram account!Recording an episode of @BeerWithGeeks tonight with @FrankRamblings. This is the motley crew of beers we have remai… @AdamSinger He’s the worst about this stuff. He follows/unfollows me on twitter at least once a week.Going to keep watching and retweeting until everyone on the planet SEES THE LIGHT. @FrankRamblings @TODAYshow @joannagaines @ThatKevinSmith why do we work??? @TODAYshow @joannagaines @FrankRamblings is gonna be late for work I just have a hunch.seriously there was once a time in my life I didn't know or care what SaaS meant like dam really makes you think @DowneastCider yup been there. @TimothyPG13 tim you are not the target demographic for my tweets okaydo you ever think about how much space in your brain is wasted storing dumb marketing acronyms?Wow great observation 2016 Marissa job alert! Gwen is awesome
@TimothyPG13 Cheers friend. @TimothyPG13 You’re not wrong though.I love when they do the classics
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele
I would watch this buddy cop movie. @TylerFindsNorth Dunbarton NH!Frank: “I’m gonna go get more wood for the fire.” Me: for the night 🙌🏻 it.
you: 4/20 . me, an idiot: august 9th
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleThis is not a #420 tweet but if you’re celebrating I HIGHLY recommend this film.Watching again. Still nuts. is Valentine’s Day for men who don’t own bed frames.
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleThis would be a Good Tweet. Except for what the heck kind of stoner orders a salad at DENNYS.'m sorry but it's bullshit this is happening MONTHS after I move out of the North End. I take this as a personal a…