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I write good tweets professionally and bad tweets personally.

928 Following   1,794 Followers   24,716 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/28/09

More detail on the @MassTLC Men's Award Ceremony, via @callumborchers
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele
be still my larson-loving heart. @melissavcomedy can't wait to see you in boston on my birthdayyyy please do your steve buscemi :) :) :) @ErinMcGathy Omg I thought the same thing. 🤣 @MorganMurphles Legit that’s exactly what I said after I made this joke to Frank IRL.Just got the best little wellness care package from @goodwitchkitchn. 😍 can’t wait to start her summer detox progra…
if you were in a beauty pageant what title would you win? I’d be Miss Weak Ankles @kurtbraunohler @kristenschaaled this is an awesome genuine apology. love you both <3 @ashlyn_stours Omg I just died. 🤣I'm out here overreacting about something and one of my coworkers just goes "hey calm down theater kid" and honestl… my husband turned into a lizard I would get a very nice terrarium and I'd sit with him and feed him tiny bits of…
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @LizArcury @kurtbraunohler Noooo omg why would he do this
@svershbow @Refinery29 I got 2 sentences into this and got a rage migraine. @Refinery29 this is elitist trash.they're just sitting in a box on my kitchen counter TAUNTING grandma loved umbrella drinks so a few weeks ago we bought a big box of umbrella straws for her funeral but now… @danajaybein happy born day!! just spelled purview as "per-view" like wrestling so that's how today is going. @amandamull RIGHT which confirmed my theory they stopped making those cookies in 2007. @amandamull I found a box in a bodega last year and tried to buy it for *old times sake* and the cashier checked th… @Alex20001 @Overstock I mean.... it’s not the worst idea.Garrett liking the post on Parkland students being crisis actors seems especially egregious after learning about wh…
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleInstead of hometowns each guy should bring her home to his shitty 3 bedroom apartment (that he shares with his “col…
evergreen tweet need an emergency episode of #TheDaily so @mikiebarb can explain to me wtf just happened in HelsinkiHOLD MY CALLS
one way to use fewer straws is to always be drinking beer
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @amydeveau Congrats 💪 🥂
@derjue @megansarahj Seconding Smalls Falls!“I like him like I found him” is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.
wednesday: sees #jaggedlittlepillART thursday: listens to You Oughta Know 35 times on SpotifyATTN Beer Twitter, send me your recos for MA/RI breweries that could host my wedding? 😬
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @KelseyOhman YES. HERE FOR THIS. If @NotchBrewing doesn't do weddings, they should.Super chill about the Emmy nominations #CrazyExGirlfriend
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele2012 Marissa would be very disappointed with how things turned out. this twitter account purge will help finally close the gap between my follower count and @FrankRamblings....This is Facebook equating having Infowars, which once accused a pizza shop of being part of a child sex ring and de…
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanueleif the papa john's thing had happened in 2013 we'd be tweeting about that shit for WEEEEEEKS. remember the Month of Paula Deen?I have a good friend & former colleague who is on the hunt for a new opportunity in Boston. 5+ years experience in… year ago I was a normal one pillow gal. Now, I sleep with: - eye mask - ear plugs - body pillow - silk pillow… have never seen so much jeopardy chatter on this website but I am here for it. @weshazard is bringing great pride to our city.
I can’t wait to see @pattenlauren perform You Oughta Know at the Tony’s next year.Guys I just saw #jaggedlittlepillART and I am not ok. Boston Twitter you did not lead me astray with this one.
Everyone please don’t worry it’s not anyone you know it was from my ~ early days in the biz~This is a Niche Tweet for my Maine friends. The rest of you can go eat some Cape Cod chips idk.I hate when Canadians feel like they “own” ketchup chips.well this one gentleman told all of his female employees that flats were "gross" and he expected us all to wear hee… @vozos no oh my god I ate one of those chewy ones the other day and calling it "candy" is basically an insult to ev… I worry I've Lost My Touch but I just introduced my younger coworkers to the term "zaddy" so maybe I am still Cool. @cyborgias @FrankRamblings us.I don't know much about The Law but this seems kind of bad right? the boarder next! confirmed, Kavanaugh would make history by becoming only the 107th white man to serve on the US Supreme Court, o…
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleBrett Kavanaugh is a true Second Amendment radical. He believes assault weapon bans are unconstitutional, a positio…
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleOk tbh I really thought he was gonna pull a fast one and nominate @JudgeJeanine appropriate that Garret aka Mr. “Parkland kids are crisis actors” is the lead in for this SCOTUS announcement… the record I am very, very not into abortion. But it is so hypocritical that every single pro-lifer isn’t screa… this feels more urgent to me than Roe right now.!! Wills please let’s just turn down the temp here a bit I’m married #thebachelorette you said to me a week ago “‘Marissa, trust me, you’re gonna be super physically attracted to a man in a leopard… @svershbow I also got high after getting my IUD but instead of online shopping I screamed at my husband “IM DOING T…
@Alex20001 @asalsman I feel guilty by associationa lot of stuff is real bad right now, BUT it's pretty cool how quickly we all decided plastic straws are bad and a… I really really hate the fact that I chose a career in social media. @MorganMurphles ok this is truly, painfully on brand.Donald Trump Is A Bad Person And Supporting Him Makes You A Bad Person
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleI dramatically collapsed in the middle of my living room from intense stomach pain and declared "I must be pregnant… LaMontagne's You Are The Best Thing is the one truly good and pure song.I did this program this spring and LOVED it. Really helped reprogram the way I thought about food. @yashar this morning the today show mentioned they're rescuing the healthiest/strongest first.#BachelorNation prepares for tonight's SCOTUS announcement. didn't win.Big morning for Starbucks news.
In 7th grade I ran for class president with the motto “you won’t be regrettin’ voting for Breton” @EWErickson “If you judge a person based on what they say, you’re doing life wrong.” Like wtf kind of backwater logic is that?
When people say “I’m not privileged I worked hard for what I have!” I just want to hold them by the shoulders and s… had unpaid internships all throughout college and worked a second job to pay rent. I worked hard, but I also kn…
there's a woman here in camo crocks and pj pants. I think I just saw my future.