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I write good tweets professionally and bad tweets personally. She/her.

972 Following   1,781 Followers   26,028 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/28/09


I need to do better. Step 1: keep opening your eyes to these stories that are painful to see.I remember making jokes about the pee tape. Truly finding humor in the situation. That’s so fucked. We need to do better.Hello I am about to finish Surviving R Kelly and I’d just like to add my voice to the chorus of people saying we ne… https://t.co/vGjanSjNpZ
1/16
2019
my kink is watching kamala harris back racists into a corner https://t.co/hYM8NwZR6k @Mediaite I mean kinda yeah. @TookyMonster No, you’re not a comic if you don’t joke about menses. Period. @chipgoines @ClemsonFB psssh yeah it's a real MESS hall amiright??? https://t.co/1K0wg5G7v8Ok hamberders aside, he’s bragging about paying for MAYBE $1k worth of fast food. https://t.co/zDhGydacRa @Veronicatheblog Co-signI just keep thinking how all these filets of fish are definitely lukewarm by this point. https://t.co/9drkUWJEyL
1/15
2019
My friend asked her 5th graders to write about the "Southern Border Crisis" in the context of international law. T… https://t.co/uAzBDBTvza
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleAh lovely! A collision of two things I get extremely ragey about: the cost of insulin and this bullshit shutdown.… https://t.co/dHaLz15y4m
1/14
2019
Did you know if you ask for an extra snack on JetBlue they’ll just give it to you? @yashar @AOC and what percentage of those Trump interactions are bots? 40? 50?related: getting the chase sapphire reserve card is one of the best decisions I made this year... for the free loun… https://t.co/2Xtt6bz2XO @anneheathen @amywestervelt @pchh @Leahbats I truly never thought about the totem pole issue but now that it was po… https://t.co/ULVdI71jZGjust breezed through security at logan. thank your TSA agents.my imposter syndrome is at an all time high when I'm in the businesses lounge at the airport. @TookyMonster @ammamarfo Oh! Let me watch too and then let’s regroup.Your occasional reminder that our current president lies as easy as you and I breathe air. Every day, all day, reflexively.
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleSo @melgotserved made @FrankRamblings a Cool Backpack Guy glass and we can all retire from gift giving. https://t.co/rHZveHqHcv
1/13
2019
This is my ASMR https://t.co/1ysk5rnbCO
1/12
2019
@Alex20001 they call it a subtweet for a reason. you're SUBPOSED to stay out of it.See also- planning your cheseboard layout https://t.co/5NajuvN6TULaying everything out the night before so I can set up easily tomorrow: type A or genius? https://t.co/5im6XgMqNH @Alex20001 Get out of here! No one was talking about you! @sfilagem @kaitlynbristowe Girl. Don’t say catholic in your profile if you’re gonna be a dick on here.Pauli’s is awesome. Give Pauli’s your money if you can. Also seriously fuck this shutdown. https://t.co/xUWA9ZxFed @ndimichino I did my time fielding those horrible emails. I deserve this.Reading this tweet reminded me how grateful I am to report to a Senior Director of Social Media who actually unders… https://t.co/VE17So0oI3Ok I know I talk about @Lin_Manuel a lot on this website but I just really respect how he embraces his feelings and… https://t.co/vxk7Lm8vfu @TheShteph Also real talk your bladder does adjust a bit over time. @TheShteph I think of it as my little hourly break from other humans @kciccolini https://t.co/gYtkgnO6fZ"I am deeply disturbed by my friend's actions, and I truly hope he's learning from this experience. I stand with th… https://t.co/DR1i8OyUh2to be fair, he's come close once or twice. https://t.co/N5Cnnc3JC7 @sethmoulton https://t.co/XUC4W2q1GzPersonal brand is strong https://t.co/kJ13aIVVXydo you ever see someone in public who looks vaguely familiar and then you're like ".... did I talk to you on OK cupid in 2012?" @mekosoff baked brie is always amazing, but sort of standard. I would lose my absolute shit if I walked into a part… https://t.co/r9F331bykSI need this tweet on a t shirt https://t.co/ND7z8k8PUxTed Cruz the only dude that looks worse with a beard
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele
1/11
2019
I had the same exact experience in middle school. And yep- I'll never forget being one of the few girls over 100 po… https://t.co/BUEdS4p7dcam I too old to go to boston calling because I'm tempted this year https://t.co/16rLIvHehK @palb1234 @BostonGlobe @KevinHart4real yes I amoh this is interesting https://t.co/KRew5nhMdQ @BostonGlobe @KevinHart4real hi this is how an apology worksLearn a book, Seth. https://t.co/zKklllJ8Dathis administration is full of the most inept super villains of all time. https://t.co/krULMzPutxGetting E.coli to own the libs https://t.co/89Fw6Vrm3j
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleI think about this quote every time I see his face https://t.co/QVrtOdYsDG
1/10
2019
@thehill don't like THATsometimes in life cake appears in the office kitchen exactly when you need it https://t.co/RkHkaN3IWj @aubrybracco right now we're just focused on boston based, unfortunately! come back to me!Awesome role on my very smart and fun team. Looking for a social expert who knows a bit about sales, or vice versa!… https://t.co/g3AHOCTkQp @VEPritchard @eknielsen YES I have what tends to be the cheapest brand/has a ton of sales, but it's TOTALLY worth i… https://t.co/HN4t4Xf4G2guys seriously just move to #SalemMA it's way cheaper and we have great beer. https://t.co/dfXk1AZcgmwho do you know that's knows stuff about b2b sales and social media? slide into the ol' dms please!Here's @AyannaPressley's full One Minute, which earned her a warning from the speaker pro tem @GKButterfield "to re… https://t.co/hVD7Sb8lEj
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @thesarahkelly Lmk if you get any good results @HiThisIsMarissa @skydart Yeah if someone says “god bless you” when I sneeze I’m pretty comfortable saying they would never abuse anyone
Retweeted by Marissa Breton Emanuele @HotelFoxtrot @skydart “If he nice 2 me he must be nice to every1!!!!” - men @skydart @bonesbord @HereWeAre1 @RonFunches I was a LONG time Hardwick fan/listener but when I read your story, I w… https://t.co/aMzgLVEw1k @skydart we see youDudes will always stand by dudes > credible women https://t.co/fskq0BSFBC @skydart @thejamesroach @bonesbord @HereWeAre1 @RonFunches Chloe - fuck all of these people who don’t believe your… https://t.co/zNQlCFVihh
1/9
2019
@TMZ are you... familiar.... with how... abuse works? @KatieELambert I once worked at a company where there were more guys named Matt or Mike than there were women.this has tickled my funny bone in some kinda way https://t.co/pTk0O2NYJA @amandamull "There are a lot of fundamental problems with existence, but among the most pressing is that you need t… https://t.co/KKoKDfckLuthis is what EVERY COMEDY CLUB OWNER should be doing. it's not that hard. https://t.co/bY5O8Sf340those 2 spikes were the week Brett Kavanaugh was nominated to the supreme court, and the week he first denied the s… https://t.co/uVCyhJM8xcsomehow I missed this when it first came out and now I'm just... I need a minute. https://t.co/fkZUZag2Tsno you're crying shut up https://t.co/vCSOaqLcJT @msaunsen a mini fridge is a worker's rights violation. @msaunsen OMG MEGAN. YES! (this applies mostly if you have a packed fridge. if no one uses the fridge it's a non-issue.)once I called someone out and they were like "yeah but it takes up the same amount of space in the bag vs all the i… https://t.co/15nxZOpH38 @RTTPresents I would literally go on a hunt to find that person and destroy their life.people who put their entire lunch bag into the office fridge are bad people and I am 100% right about this.According to @JuliaEAinsley’s reporting, more people in the terrorist database were stopped at the northern border… https://t.co/y4TWXBtolq
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleI saw this tweet yesterday and cannot stop thinking about it. https://t.co/c07IKKCuDYI Need To Shoot My Phone
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleAfter hitting a real franchise low tonight, I remembered this moment will never not make me laugh #TheBachelor https://t.co/AmHPaCTTfQ
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleLol my mom is also watching #thebachelor and just sent me this text without any context. SAME. https://t.co/Vju3VNFp5O @chrisbharrison please stop reminding us this thing is 3 hours I’m tired already. #TheBachelorAll this virgin talk is starting to feel like we’re queuing up for a human sacrifice in the finale. #thebachelor
1/8
2019
hey thanks for dm’ing me a post from that meme account on instagram thats private so i couldn’t see it and had to g… https://t.co/XOtdHkGcJ4
Retweeted by Marissa Breton EmanueleCool job alert 🚨 https://t.co/7tZKpljNXC*slams laptop shut, puts on coat, and leaves the office. never to be seen or heard from again* https://t.co/pr7WbXhemn @style_wire I will add you to my list of vigilantes 🙃 @KyleSGibson we've found this too, how difficult it is to get the right prescriptions cleared by insurance. it's an ongoing battle."Several people... described insulin as being like oxygen: Scavenging for it invokes a primal fear, like the gasp y… https://t.co/EkxUVSj8kmWe both have great jobs, and good insurance. But the out of pocket expenses are still something we struggle with. A… https://t.co/nPkgX8yktk"One in four diabetic patients reported rationing insulin because of the cost. Very few of those patients were unin… https://t.co/lAph70CaEZ"In 1996, when Eli Lilly debuted its Humalog brand of insulin, the list price of a 10-milliliter vial was $21. The… https://t.co/Hd2gCu0AMGand then I'm reminded to check my privilege, because so many families IN THIS COUNTRY need to make those life or de… https://t.co/vksleHxmGwsometimes my anxiety tells a dramatic post-apocalyptic story about how we'll keep him alive after the government co… https://t.co/nHfAoq515umy husband has type 1 diabetes and I think about this constantly. https://t.co/LL0ZdT4NjzYup just did this again. https://t.co/nq4HtduOBBI'm not too proud to admit this specific outrage cycle has taught me quite a bit about how tax rates work. 🤷‍♀️ https://t.co/YIMeXGxxqe
1/7
2019

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