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Chris Scott @iamchrisscott Washington, DC

Contributor for @observer and @cafedotcom. I also review movies I haven't seen: I love you very much.

941 Following   16,021 Followers   52,285 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/29/09

Confession: I have never been sorry to interrupt @LouisPeitzman I don't know, some inconsiderate piece of shitCan’t believe I even have to say this in 2018 but if you’re going to text me from a wrong number at least make it f…'m the 136,984th funniest person on twitter. Nobody can deny this. @davidgross_man it's already a classic hour of television @Punkaboo we miss you tooa) What a weird analogy. b) Even if you're the biggest Oprah fan in the world how would this not be a grotesque nig… @amandamull "Thanks so much for coming out tonight guys, we're the Deep Basics, and a one, and a two..."Great stuff by Crissy Milazzo)Here’s a really awesome spreadsheet of affordable therapy options sorted by state and city/town. If, like many, you…
I am to blame for the government shutdown and I take full responsibility for it @alliewach lol yessssss I can't resist saying this whenever I see one, it feels so good[Patrick Bateman "I have to return some videotapes" voice] I have to respond to some Facebook event invites.You heard meSbarro more like subpar-oUh these are actually the only actors I knew *for sure* auditioned for Dawson's Creek, idiots just like that #WomensMarch2018 is ruined because Ed Sheeran couldn't wait one more fucking day to announce his engagementLife hack: Miles Davis' Complete Jack Johnson SessionsOn the anniversary of his inauguration, let’s help @realDonaldTrump celebrate by tweeting this classic image at him @realDonaldTrump I remember your inauguration! Like 20 people showed up, it was really fun.Man I thought this was some strange mantra or ancient spell about the shutdown deadline at first
Donald Trump out here making deals left and right. America is a deal factory now, our chief export is deals. Loving all the deals. @_nanitass me too @ellesep thank you DanielleI will fix the government. I have what it takes.He's still there, hasn't budged @bonerhitler see you in hell @bonerhitler the only one who will be crying is you @bonerhitler Don't you fucking tell me how to parent my rabbitI left my seat for like 10 seconds took 83 years to build the National Cathedral. It weighs 150,000 tons. @meredithmetzler hey thanks pal <3This is really, really cool --> 10 Rediscovered Minimalist Masterpieces from Japan, Thanks to YouTube @tylerbarstow I'm not even a huge Star Wars fan and I loved the hell out of thisWho in the actual fuck would ever walk out of Phantom Thread and think "Yeah Reynolds Woodcock is the kind of man I aspire to be like"lkjasdklfjasdklfjasldkhfasdlf never thought I'd say this but I think I've heard about all I care to about Donald Trump's sex lifeHow have I never seen this before read for a Friday morning news break: “Two Stories” by @iamchrisscott
Retweeted by Chris ScottRight now there are multiple people in the White House advising the president not to tweet about his dick
If any members of congress need a place to crash when the government shuts down, let me knowYes their job prospects are also my number one concern to think that all of this could've been avoided if Hillary had just picked me to be her running mate @Home_Halfway A lot of people are going to tell you to stop this. I will not be one of them.Has anybody tried asking Alexa to destroy herself? @lynnbixenspan lol you're out of control @lynnbixenspan :PDo you guys ever love just being random with your friends? Just doing random things? Do you enjoy being random?My friend @AlexTforTexas is a great human being and currently running an excellent campaign for congress in Texas's… @mekosoff loving Pixelated Boat's followup! @sethdmichaels I love this band so much SethHOLY SHIT I was not expecting a new The Sea and Cake album, this rules your headquarters on the moon Amazon you fucking cowardsLet’s all go back to MySpaceExplosions in the Sky was playing in the background as I made the most meaningful and emotional 6-month dentist che… @bananalise yeah I could've used a few hundred words about what exactly a nipple is. I mean other people could've used that.The wikipedia entry about the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake Super Bowl halftime nipple thing is over SIXTEEN THOU… are trying to get 1000 women to sign up to go through a campaign management training by this Friday:…
Retweeted by Chris ScottIt’s possible Trump doesn’t understand public policy terribly well. I mean obviously we all hope that isn’t true but you can’t rule it out.
The "G" in Kenny G stands for GsaxophoneDon't get me wrong Mother Teresa did some really cool stuff but I once faved a tweet that had a typo in it and then… else feel like this week has been eerily similar to that one week when Obama gave out Fake News Awards and w… @HobokenPudding I love them @heathermg @Folkways I haven't but I've been meaning to -- thank you!Hi friends, what are some of your favorite ambient albums/recordings? @ChrisCaesar I love himGreat replies to Trump’s tweet Jacob @PWElverum Your new song is gorgeous. Your music has inspired me for a very long time. Thank you for sharing it wit… is literally nothing worse in the entire world than finding out someone you don't like completely agrees with you on a divisive issueDonald Trump claims he's 6'3" and weighs 239 pounds. Big Bird is 6'2" and weighs 220 pounds. Hmmmmmmmmmmm don't know, I guess I just assumed Donald Trump was great at sex. I'm going to feel really stupid if I was wrong. @mattytalks @charles_kinbote thanks so much for not taking two seconds to find the video yourself and link us to it @charles_kinbote @mattytalks I had absolutely NO idea that the lead singer of Phoenix was the same guy who did voca… wrote a piece that's one-third a 💌 to other women's work; one-third an outline of why most official reactions to…
Retweeted by Chris Scott @TheIsabellaR I agreeHello from us Mount Eerie album coming. Saw him play this one at St. Stephen Church a few months ago and it's a stunner