Sign in with Twitter


I make amazing software for universities & hospitals. Helplessly hopeful individual. Paid shill for the HRC campaign, AMA

597 Following   319 Followers   6,934 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/26/09

@alicehlcomedy i concedeBill’s face lmao @alicehlcomedy same I love Katie PerryICYMI: Ann Coulter just mocked the father of a man who gave his life fighting for our country.
Retweeted by jpFox News not playing the speech by the muslim soldiers parents who died for America. #DemsInPhilly
Retweeted by jp
'What do you think is going to happen if Bernie Sanders isn't president? You still get to be white.' - Michael Che
Retweeted by jpThat's our President.
Retweeted by jpObama is pulling out all the stops. So many quotable lines. This speech is gonna be historic.“The American Dream is something no wall will ever contain.” —@POTUS
Retweeted by jp32 at least“Don’t boo; vote!” — OUR GLORIOUS PRESIDENT
Retweeted by jpMic DropDamnSomeone kick out that fucking Bernie bro rn @jc4p nah he’ll def talk about Bloomberg, he won’t able to help himself @alicehlcomedy straight outta left fieldBack to back like I’m on the cover of Lethal Weapon Back to back like I’m Jordan ‘96, ’97 whoa ~ @timkaine @jc4p this is such a weird speechI can’t wait to hear them talk about this speech on Keepin’ It 1600tim kaine's not mad at trump voters he's disappointed
Retweeted by jpAre these impressions actually happening or is NPR fucking with meThis man is so corny and it’s amazing
1: A 33 year old man and some thoughts on growing up detesting Hillary Clinton and finally taking a hard look at my own bias.
Retweeted by jpThis church stayin’ relevant af @AlexDe_L you’re right the real issue is that it clearly is not an iPhone @AlexDe_L hmmSelf-employment peaks at being able to spend all of today and tomorrow drinking TJ’s cold brew and follow the DNC Twitter drama @AlexDe_L whose face is that 🤔Late and catching up but Bill’s speech was fantastic. Helluva storyteller, that man.
@_Jordan womp womp womp🤔😂
@jparishy oh wait hang on a minuteThese people yelling Bernie are like if SV tech people complained about not enough free food or dry cleaning bc they know they can swap jobsOkay last one: if you oppose the TPP & support raising our own minimum wage for your own benefit, think about what message that sendsAnd if you do oppose it don’t pretend it’s because it’ll kill American jobs or destroy the Internet, ‘cause that’s some Bullshit™Though you have to wonder how many of the people who say they oppose it know what it does or which countries are even a part of it.For a long time we exploited China this way but as they build their economy we’re just jumping onto the next available source, it’s immoralBut we’re doing it without regulation or labor standards, so blindly opposing it is being complicit in the exploitation of the foreign laborBlind hate of the TPP irks me so hard. We’re already outsourcing work to these countries. Blocking an agreement will not stop that, ever. @jc4p and the people for whom it’s really bad, say immigrants in Texas, people don’t give a shit. Indies complaining get the news cycles @jc4p alright I’m not tryina come at you so I’ll stop lol I just genuinely believe the system is fine for most of the people complaining @jc4p open primaries do not fix this in any way shape or form @jc4p Independent != independent, and it’s not for life, people just don’t pay attention until it’s too late and all you can do is be mad @jc4p the idea that parties can be “public” is pretty unfeasible when you really think about what a party is and what they exist to do @jc4p like you can want and work for a valid third party, but don’t complain when you can’t shoehorn it into the Dems, that’s not our M.O. @jc4p the Democratic Party isn’t the play thing of Independents who wish they were unaffiliated but weren’t paying attention until Jan 2016 @jc4p c’mon manThe Bojack abortion episode is also 👌 This season is knocking it out of the parkmad
Retweeted by jpI am stupid stoked for the DNC 🇺🇸 @jc4p I’ve always liked it and I’d recommend giving it another shot, it’s visually appealing and well writtenThe underwater Bojack episode is so much fun, a very mild acid trip daydream
I wrote about Trump's completely fucking bizarre new ad:
Retweeted by jpA time machine to 2013, the Twitter profile for @birdhouseapp
@AlexDe_L totally @jc4p too much fire would never compareHow mad are you right now @jc4p
@jc4p ya lol I’m just playin @jc4p there is also @jc4p maybe u should try meeting women at group therapy sessionsWhat happens at @LLBean when you try to return a 40-year-old t-shirt? They give you a refund, no questions asked.
Retweeted by jp @AlexDe_L @joshriker huge ty @joshriker fun enough! I’m excited to see where it goes @joshriker yes. fun equipment coming our way. if you have suggestions — ask @joshriker Corden is the guy from The Late Late Show that does carpool karaoke which Ms. Obama was on @joshriker I’m large and way cool enough to play James Corden @joshriker want to out do it?"I’m with you*" —@realDonaldTrump *Not included: women, African Americans, LGBT people, Muslims, Latinos, immigrants...
Retweeted by jp*I’m your voice* Complacent white people everywhere clap harmoniouslyyo why am I watching this speech are they ever this fucking long“BELOVED SCALIA” HAHAH OKAY I’M FUCKING DONE JESUS CHRIST GOOD NIGHTTrump, I’m actually self-employed and you know jack shit about this so you can fuck rightttttt off>people that have employer paid for health insurance that do not understand the ACAI love the pans across the audience because there is literally no people of color, everyone there listening is white no matter what he saysBreaking: Trump Brings Back a 90′s Slang Favorite, ‘Sike!’lmao like he still has a heartThis would all feel less dirty if I didn’t think that Trump was truly just a media seeking Democrat at heart“The new trillions of American wealth will of course depend on our feelings and emotions, especially my own” ~ TrumpGlobalism is… good 🤔“8 years ago everyone was killing everyone but no one was killing white people and look what’s happening now? Elect me, well-off white folk”Here we go… bet within 2 years we see Ivanka in a major acting role because tbh she’s pretty good at itBreaking News: Ivanka Trump Has Never Actually Mer Her Father @AlexDe_L @joshriker i rescind my die @AlexDe_L @joshriker die @joshriker i don’t appreciate your irony
Try and name a cooler First Family that’s actually representative of our country and its culture I dare you fire from the HRC campaign 🔥 In all seriousness it’s a pretty funny campaign tactic is the best podcast rn: My Dad Wrote A Porno — @dadwroteaporno
@jc4p scarin’ me this week m8Share to make sure everyone knows exactly how Donald Trump thinks you should treat women:
Retweeted by jp
it’s so hard to watch, an absolute cringefest easy lesson in teaching my daughters how they'll be held to a double standard: #60Minutes
Retweeted by jpThe Trump-Pence 60 Minutes episode is just… incredible
😂, full-page Sunday @nytimes
Retweeted by jpIt's hard to find a project Donald Trump touched that did not produce allegations of broken promises or bad faith
Retweeted by jp
Boutta hang out with @joshriker while wearing an HRC campaign t-shirt. Prepare your mad, buddy
Fuckin’ a, man, I’m so tired