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Welcome to my page where I make fun of things, point out absurdities and tackle serious subjects like the cutback

775 Following   500,916 Followers   8,546 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/6/09


Anyone for a surf at Trestles? Im sure that #BeachedWhale oil should keep the crowds to a… https://t.co/eLgPrItcCy#ThorsActualHammer. Stole it. https://t.co/SBwr4cQQU5
4/24
2016
Wide bowl at #Cloudbreak. 5'4" #Omni epoxy was a touch light and small but man it felt like… https://t.co/EZn1MTZF7a
4/22
2016
josh_bystrom nice to see you in the shade today. F@%+ yeah...today was nuts! @ Tavarua Island… https://t.co/cQB1Krfilm
4/20
2016
My godson, jackson_dorian, already imitating dad's #Jaws moves at pumping #Banyans. Big shoes to… https://t.co/Pq4iDcwybFI helped develop @purps with pmtenore and drpurps to give people a healthy alternative to the… https://t.co/3vVpuBa0kN
4/16
2016
@Spinksy_Oz guys who've done nothing talk most trash in their anonymous strongholds. He'd blow his cover if he said it to my face.👻👆🏽 @DWYER808 agreed but I felt worse for kid than parents. Parents did nothing to change situation for 4.5hrs. Hard on everyone on plane.So what should be protocol for parents on planes with screaming or crying kids, especially on red-eyes? Time limit? Confined to bathrooms? 😬
4/15
2016
A few years ago, in my favorite place, at my favorite place, captured by my favorite post surf,… https://t.co/xTiekTbTNW
4/7
2016
My friend Eddie Vedder and others are playing @TheOhanaFest this August. Details here - https://t.co/898DK8UhL0. https://t.co/D5p3iiq53E
4/4
2016
Wow...@mattwilko8! Congrats. That's insane. Now quick...@wsl test his #TigerBlood! I need some of what he's got. 🖖🏽😳🏄🏽😂 #RingTheBell #Wilko.
4/2
2016
Little throwback to #Newcastle with @currenspam, thomasvictorcarroll and… https://t.co/i3cnEx4SP1
3/27
2016
Happy Birthday to the biggest badass I ever knew, brock.little. Miss you, man. https://t.co/rINpSBrWX7
3/17
2016
Clip from last night shot by @kingdumb4. https://t.co/LB0UyfI2b1
3/16
2016
Wet morning but some swell in the water. Time to get back underway with the #QuikPro in about an… https://t.co/hdOiL4hOAk
3/12
2016
#CashLee and I gettin a bit of #ShutEye from the jetlag. #HelloAustralia #OwYaGoin? @ Snapper Rocks https://t.co/cKbq2oeMEn
3/9
2016
Kinda big the other day. I didn't realize there was a ledge outside of the ledge outside the… https://t.co/Zq3hvXXsKH
3/2
2016
Tricky conditions yesterday. Not super approachable on the ledge without flying through the air.… https://t.co/9LQYhWIDFvWell that was radical...What a day! What a swell! Let's see...Major congrats are in order,… https://t.co/kvS9QVEdn3
2/26
2016
Still in disbelief. Miss you, Brock. #EverybodysBigBrother @ Waimea Bay, Hawaii https://t.co/ulfKXmg1cz
2/20
2016
brock.little...larger than life to me. The world I know will never be the same. I love you, man.… https://t.co/7RnkrDAs9Y
2/18
2016
What a pleasure to hang and talk story with #BuffaloKeaulana during his 40th anniversary contest… https://t.co/2QbNeGBXNB
2/17
2016
With my Valentine too busy eating 🍣 at #Nobu and 💤 in a huge bed with comfy pillows in Waikiki… https://t.co/xUfzd498E0
2/15
2016
Our great friend, #ToddChesser, passed away on this date 19 years ago. We usually pour out a… https://t.co/fUnVwDyG3Q
2/14
2016
With a bunch of #MyFavoritePeople on my birthday. Thanks everyone for the wishes. If anyone… https://t.co/0qXWvF16as
2/11
2016
@whoisjob and I battling for those 'QS points this year. Should we place a side bet, Jamie?… https://t.co/pcUjyMA023
2/9
2016
My last wave during the #VolcomPipePro...didn't make it but at least I got to have a look. There… https://t.co/ileJ12D3Jt
2/8
2016
Can you thank a wave for a lifetime of your best memories? What a week/month/winter! Congrats to… https://t.co/Iapa3DpivD
2/3
2016
@blakemcelheny @GovHawaii @MayorKirkHNL $7M?! It's a parking lot and small deviation. Should cost a couple hundred grand at most and 1 week!
1/31
2016
Is it that difficult 4 city&county to figure out this never ending #TurtleTraffic at Lani's? Unbelievable. 20mins Waimea-Laniakea. >2 miles
1/30
2016
Well that was fun...Sitting here watching closeout sets roll thru after getting sent to the… https://t.co/V5J6cYIGpPwalteriooss and @bjorniooss...I scouted locations for your next #SISwimsuitShoot and there's… https://t.co/R3wC7uwq4m
1/27
2016
Thank you, @surfer_magazine! I still can't believe it. Look for some more info coming soon on… https://t.co/hstIWqwEj7
1/21
2016
#Carnage https://t.co/d9WU0AWtTH#Carnage https://t.co/gEGG80IUmB
1/20
2016
'Tea Leaf' gotta eat! (No, her name's not spelled 'Ti'). https://t.co/buEye6om0w
1/18
2016
It's amazing how big 'small' Jaws still is. 😳 A couple of #Leftovers last night. Thanks to… https://t.co/QpDUCTTyGN
1/17
2015
He won't let me pay him half the time so the best thing I can try and do is try and make him… https://t.co/SzYptL5rEg
12/29
2015
#ShoutOut and congrats to my good friend, khalilrafati, for his recently released autobiography,… https://t.co/97psMzgvz0
12/27
2015
#MerryXmas everyone. I wish I had ten of me I could send all around the world and visit with all… https://t.co/ybNR5hdSMa
12/25
2015
#MarkFoo and #DonnieSolomon both passed away while surfing during this exact hour on this day in… https://t.co/A8QsgA9Skx
12/23
2015
Best caption (funny, smart, mean, dumb, witty, etc. all work) wins the small and simple gopro… https://t.co/xYXLH5xHYP
12/22
2015
Just posted a photo https://t.co/iEHvHDbGYc
12/21
2015
Even #JohnCReilly knows when you come to my house you've gotta put in a little time babysitting… https://t.co/9VDorDFi4p
12/20
2015
When the boss is your houseguest you gotta let him win a #ThumbWrestle battle. @danawhite takes… https://t.co/veHiXTkGqc
12/19
2015
Kelly Slater and his friends have built the greatest man-made wave ever https://t.co/Tyx6OwJhA7 https://t.co/r2Vs8FspKc
Retweeted by Kelly SlaterBreaking News! @kellyslater built the best man-made wave ever. https://t.co/0YiJQcgpET https://t.co/1AE2qUdssS
Retweeted by Kelly Slater @KSWaveco and I have built the first world-class, high-performance, man-made wave! #FreakOfTechnology #KSWaveco https://t.co/VbkJtMsP92Now that the world title has been decided and events for the year have finished, I’m excited to… https://t.co/do6EqWRyh7There is no substitute for hard work and desire. Natural talent on its own has proven many times… https://t.co/rjwYfte1Ra
12/18
2015
#Pipeline doing its best visual impersonation of giant, hollow #JBay yesterday, just a little… https://t.co/zd8LPunFLs
12/17
2015
At the #BillabongPipeMasters supporting my man @kellyslater https://t.co/2KStBuC5DQ
Retweeted by Kelly SlaterWhat a day! Hope you guys watched the action on the wsl app or website (https://t.co/zGuJBdA0ev) from… https://t.co/lYcSKvokVo
12/16
2015
One really good wave yesterday. I just happened to be in the spot. I didn't make it, the wind… https://t.co/y8WaYJ25vzWho's ready for this #PipeMasters to start up again?! Let's do this thang. Maybe tomorrow. @… https://t.co/PmIUK7A1AB
12/15
2015
@mystomane no, i meant like Nick Diaz and what happened to him (5 year ban) or like Michael Phelps winning 8 gold medals.Now let's just hope @TheNotoriousMMA doesn't get caught smoking weed and banned for 5 years by the athletic commission. 😬😂 @TheNotoriousMMA got stupid #RichAndFamous this year by making fun of people & ko'ing em. Sound like some kind of (American or Irish) dream?
12/14
2015
#Doppelgänger early 2000's. https://t.co/fI3EnmFOQfHow's this combo from the #ComboKing, _clay_marzo, on stackingclips?! Craziest speed whip I've… https://t.co/M4c2fSc8SV
12/13
2015
Seen my synchronized shark surfing clip? Random catch by a pulled back camera angle up on a hill… https://t.co/4XIY13DoMg
12/12
2015
Little #SwitchFoot practice for the #PipeMasters in #Fiji last week. @ https://t.co/WprO6C7er1
12/9
2015
Thank you surfer_magazine and all the people out there voting for keeping me in the running of… https://t.co/lSJisxOGDn
12/8
2015
Shout out to andre_botha_662 for most likely saving @evangeiselman's life at #Pipeline today when… https://t.co/Bg364TAm5v
12/7
2015
@billy_kemper you're an animal! Congrats my man. First ever #PeahiChallenge winner in a heavy… https://t.co/4u0U6a2UGygerglong you are as gnarly as it gets! #ManLove. Must've learned how to pull into 30 footers in… https://t.co/Yxq9k7g3lx @billy_kemper you're a monster! How big is this wave?! After only the first heat it's a joke… https://t.co/nhHBb6FtvjIf you're not watching the #PeahiChallenge at #Jaws on the either https://t.co/7mPBSHAH8p or on the… https://t.co/BevSq9sbZD
12/6
2015
In other news...if you've been living on the (blue) moon and didn't know that @johnjohnflorenc's… https://t.co/gzqhSVs9qSThank you the #AikauFamily, quiksilver, and all the surfers involved for my invite and inclusion… https://t.co/LksyAt5U6eThank you to Staci (and her niece, Isabele) for joining us on the @tavaruaisland trip after… https://t.co/ZrcfDAWOdi
12/4
2015
Pulling the eject button. You could probably build a few humans with the amount of skin my… https://t.co/8hLSJCgbXRWho's #PhotoBombing here? #Framegrab @liebervision. @ Tavarua https://t.co/oK0RCRG5zY
12/2
2015
#PowerRangers!? #MeanAbs @ Tavarua https://t.co/mi0EOITx9t
12/1
2015
Just posted a photo @ Tavarua https://t.co/KTVvHyU8dlBeen trying to find something better for about 38 years and I'm having trouble. Anyone?… https://t.co/GlV2KqL6g5
11/30
2015
Wanted to show some support and say thanks to the guys at the #BWRAG (Big Wave Risk Assessment… https://t.co/kUMO2PWvSQ
11/29
2015
Just posted a photo @ Restaurants, Tavarua, Fiji https://t.co/uBjqQIXXNCBest way @shanedorian808 and I could think to send off #ChiefDruku? Get ridiculously tubed for him at… https://t.co/0Zq5Di1umT
11/28
2015
Ratu Sakiusa Nadruku Lalabalavu (#ChiefDruku) was laid to rest today. The sadness would not be so… https://t.co/6i8UmDPrlT
11/27
2015
I meant to post this yesterday but got a little caught up with flights, datelines, and passing out… https://t.co/0Oy5wYmRLF
11/26
2015
I saw this shot on a friend's feed last night and couldn't believe this wave. Then I realized the… https://t.co/UElbUuoh5C
11/24
2015
#LongStory...Finished product from last night. It's funny when shaping how many ideas go through your… https://t.co/jz2RtVSluS
11/23
2015
Late night shaping in @sslaterboards's shaping room. Been a while. #CantSleep https://t.co/5iB01UCihq
11/22
2015
@darth_slater and I playing with #VanCarterSlater in the rain. @ Florida's Fresh Grill https://t.co/y28oZu4bE0
11/21
2015
"If you’re aware of something & you know it’s wrong, you need to voice it”@kellyslater https://t.co/R1hcRVUlL9 https://t.co/wNsGvnHlL2
Retweeted by Kelly Slater
11/19
2015
It's funny to walk thru a store with people who don't really know who you are but sell your stuff… https://t.co/BLv7RnVoHf
11/16
2015
@ufc and interested to see if @RondaRousey can keep another fight under a minute or whether @_HOLLYHOLM knows something nobody's figured out
11/14
2015
This world is a sad place. Lost souls running around with no purpose but inflicting hurt on others. I… https://t.co/xsa5SMuyQESo we've just picked our winner for the trip that @shanedorian808 and I put together with @omaze.… https://t.co/4EwWSjNp7RMy best #JohnnyCash impression, underwater version. 📷: toddglaser. I'm just not sure why I would ever… https://t.co/yuym8132lj
11/13
2015
Well I screwed that up. #MySpecialty (usually). #GlutenFree, #Chia, protein pancakes. https://t.co/xYm5a5S02N
11/12
2015
Last couple few hours to enter me and @shanedorian808's trip to @tavaruaisland at the end of the… https://t.co/3NVErpkFoz
11/11
2015
'#ArmyCorpOfEngineers is building a seawall out of sandbags and destroying the dunes in Montauk. Most… https://t.co/lcCAs2usr9
11/8
2015
Amazing group of good people together this evening for @punkerpat and chloe__barton's wedding in… https://t.co/aWfyjNNVVE
11/7
2015
Goodbye and thank you, #LillianNuuhiwa. You were a beautiful soul who made this world a better place.… https://t.co/n9byeTLiAg
11/6
2015
When you get to a London hotel room and they've done the #LateNightSnacks thing all proper like.… https://t.co/TUdQVoVdlx
11/2
2015
Comfort never quits. Introducing TITANTOUR IGNITE. #IGNITEit Learn more: https://t.co/perOIMnGQs https://t.co/tD095u8ccP
Retweeted by Kelly Slater
10/29
2015
Happy 50th Birthday to mrpottz (the first English-South African-French-Australian world surf champ😳).… https://t.co/gUFONTXtuJ
10/28
2015

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