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Author and connoisseur of gas station wines. I've written a lot of books. My mom thinks you should read most of them.

1,777 Following   6,469 Followers   51,431 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/26/10

@Here_to_Teach @sunraysunray Yes. And food of the working mother, that mythological creature that Conservatives thi… @rossiej67 Thought you told someone else you're not a grandmother. #Russianbot @rossiej67 This is a Russian bot, folks. Just report it, ignore it, and move on. @newrevolver @tonyposnanski @nytimes Of course I did. And I didn't go to Harvard, either. State school is just fine. @charliekirk11 @KyleKashuv How is not getting to go to Harvard "wrecking his life?" So all the rest of us had our l…
@newrevolver @tonyposnanski @nytimes I wonder what was different about the two boys... hmm, it'll come to me. @newrevolver @tonyposnanski @nytimes the Difference Republicans: "Tamir Rice was 12, that's old enough to know better! It is his own damn fault…
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @newrevolver @tonyposnanski @nytimes He can drive a car, he can shut his fucking racist mouth. @tonyposnanski @nytimes "Back when he was 16!" You know... last year. @SamKat77 @mannersminder @La_arma_viva @wvjoe911 Sorry, now I see that you might have missed that my tweet was a re… same "white persecution" dimwits and incels who are outraged that he's not going to Harvard now are the very sa…, it wasn't a leaked video of him singing along in his car to rap music. It wasn't an oration from Uncle Tom's C… people whining about Kyle Kashuv's fate: he wasn't denied admission to Harvard because he used A WORD. He was… @ksorbs Let me think, a made-up story that didn't happen that readers use as a fun escape--you know, like Lord of t… @SamKat77 @mannersminder @La_arma_viva @wvjoe911 Vote? Why didn't I think of that?!Two wine glasses full of vodka later, and I'm not even mildly giggly. How much is it supposed to take? And who do I… @ParkerTamlin Here's that attention your ordered...
@spobellove @mannersminder @La_arma_viva @wvjoe911 He won't. He's a Conservative, and this is his home.
@Ic0nick I live in Alabama. That movie gives us hope that there's still a world out there. And that New Yorkers have all the common sense! @OatesTerell @THE_GOP_SUCKS @wvjoe911 @mimiflyingcat Actually, we produce a lot of cars, house a NASA facility, and… @mannersminder @La_arma_viva @wvjoe911 I don't want to live here but this is where my husband is from. His parents… @Ic0nick I've seen this movie! You make sure that's a roll of twenties and NOT a roll of ones with a twenty on the outside! @phoenixpolice So, those officers are on paid vacation while you look into it. Statistically, you will find no evid… @pastorlocke No, I reported you for sharing a falsified and disturbing video that you claimed was people playing wi…
Has @realDonaldTrump expressed his well wishes to #JohnMcCain yet? @PhoenixPolice I'd LOVE to hear your explanation. Never mind, all I give a shit about is how quickly you fired thes… suggest a total blackout of @CNN tonight during the airing of Woman of Mystery. No mystery...a cheap hag that sol…
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @thedailybeast Mmmmmm, you smell just like a Big Mac.Rather than celebrate Trump's birthday, I choose to celebrate #JohnMcCainDayJune14 #JohnMcCainDay
Retweeted by Lorca DamonI, too, remember with great fondness that time First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy stripped naked and let another nude mo… @jpalmiotti Literally nothing. I subscribe to condoms online, for pete's sake. @McAllisterDen If you're sick and tired of it, turn of Real Housewives and get a life. Your experience with lubing… @LadyBleach @bobclendenin @thehill It wasn't the coat, which was a harness (not a vest) with "service dog" pinned t… else having Facebook issues? My account is currently unavailable due to a "site issue." @missc0nstrued Expletive. @missc0nstrued Of course I will. Then let's also celebrate her half-birthday in six months! Whom does she share that date with? @bobclendenin @thehill That's it exactly. I saw one today, a tiny little elderly dog whose harness had a safety pin…
@realDonaldTrump @StateDept @SecPompeo
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @PibbleRacing @oranicuhh LOL! I dunno, it's the start of menopause! Although I'm looking forward to being done with the ol' baby chamber. @benjromano Brilliant. @oranicuhh @SunKiissd No, we kinda are a little bit... @oranicuhh I'm vehemently pro-choice... and pro-ME HAVING THAT BABY UNLESS THERE'S A HEALTH PROBLEM. But I don't ha… @oranicuhh THANK YOU. I'm 46, married, have two older teenagers...and had to buy a pregnancy test this week. I was… @Jim_Jordan The census is meant to count all the PEOPLE in the United States, not just citizens, #GymJordan. Shoul…
Retweeted by Lorca DamonI've been ranting a lot lately about how allies are being treated by their fellow allies. Folks, when you dismiss t… @ColinCorgi @AllisonRFloyd I replied to a sweeping statement that able-bodied people need to stay quiet. Quite a fe… @AllisonRFloyd @ColinCorgi Where did that appear? I'm able-bodied and have no mental illness. I'm saying we ALL nee… @honeylemondrops @AllisonRFloyd True. But that wasn't in the tweet. We all need to choose our words carefully, espe… @ColinCorgi @AllisonRFloyd Good. That's the kind of ally you chose to be. I happen to serve as a free resource for… @RussellPoe @AllisonRFloyd Except it's completely about me, thanks. @AllisonRFloyd Sadly, your mostly-justified anger went into a tweet, I responded kindly, and now I've been told off… @AllisonRFloyd I also responded to that woman's idiocy. She's not just a moron, she's dangerous. But that wasn't pr… @AllisonRFloyd You're overlooking all of us able-bodied people who've dedicated our entire lives to caring for a lo… @Bravewriting @notcapnamerica @BravenakBlog Weird. I just looked at the account and there it is. He literally tweeted 15 min ago. @introvertgay @adamcbest Careful there, Comrade. A bot worked really hard to spread those rumors! @theDudeIsIn2 @neilhimself Ours are whitetail too. Bucks rarely charge people. They also have no role in raising or… is “happy birthday mr president” trending when obama’s birthday isn’t till august???
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @realDonaldTrump
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @pastorlocke @cmclymer "When the little girl showed her shoulders, I just couldn't help myself." --Evangelicals @realDonaldTrump Let's all celebrate a true AMERICAN HERO tomorrow, June 14th people.
Retweeted by Lorca DamonThis guy literally just said sodomy is being shoved down his throat. Ding, ding! Closeted gay protests too much! @MercysFight YAY, so we're kicking out that Trumpclown for his adultery, right? @MercysFight @Pinterest Awwww, YAY! Twitter got the message that I reported those assholes for lying about abortion… @JaeB_so_nasty No, it's not. I can't have an abortion because "SAVE THE BABIES!" but she can let her kids die from… @introvertgay If this kind of servitude is how she wants to live, wow. But okay, it's her choice I guess. What I ca… question #pride
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @tonyposnanski @jusanothagirl78 I'm so grateful to people like Criminelle for their insightful hot takes on medical… @theDudeIsIn2 @neilhimself Not typical behavior with the deer where we hunt. The bucks don't tend to stick around t…, forgot the second part of the rhyme: yes, if its little ears are curled downward, it may be in distress and…
@4Kittties @SaltyCookie22 I did. NOTHING. There's cat food (we had some because our hedgehog eats it), milk, and wa… @jennifergracen And it would sound like this: "HA! Busted! Didja noobs heeya what she just said? She saidja all bun… knew you know this but I'm sharing for Mr. Gaiman's followers: "Ears are straight, everything's great. Ears down… @jennifergracen You liar. You'd scream out loud and point at a few of the guys!Okay, Twitter, I hate cats. Die on that hill, if you must. BUT a tiny boop-kitty was dumped on my porch, we're havi… @SaltyCookie22 I was thinking it's all the shit floating to the top.Black boys in America are born with the assumption of guilt. White boys inherit the assumption of innocence. Those…
Retweeted by Lorca DamonMy next president! anyone else noticed that Trump's blue eyes aren't blue anymore? That could be a sign of several different medic… @AnneTibbets See, your keyboard says NO, but the very fact that your replied is a solid Maybe! #commencethewearingdown @AnneTibbets But if arguing with trolls on the internet has taught me anything, it's that I MIGHT wear the agent down! It totally works! @_JennyHollander They used three different "persons" in the opener of that paragraph! @ChristinaDronen If your church isn't a place that welcomes teens, makes them feel empowered and wanted, challenges… @smreine Of course, the flip side is "what else has been removed" which is another compelling classroom lesson! My… @introvertgay I have to wonder in all honest, and I say this as no major fan of Biden's: does it feel like he's pan… @JBxyz123 @pastorlocke @tonyposnanski @realDonaldTrump Bet the mofo eats shrimp and wears polyester golf shirts, too. @pastorlocke @tonyposnanski @realDonaldTrump Soooo, you post a lame-ass Grease reference, then don't know how to re… @smreine Many of my students were horrified that her private diary was even read, let alone published (a very norma… am I passing on a Bene Gesserit tv series with all-male creative team? Because a team that doesn't think to in…
Retweeted by Lorca Damon @robinshortt2 @dancinghorse Did you seriously just non-explain who the creator of the Bene Gesserit is to someone w… @smreine I've taught this book, and we would discuss what "wasn't" in the diary. My high schoolers actually sided w…'t you fucking DARE post "Never Forget" bullshit and "I demand @IlhanMN resign over her unpatriotic comments!" g… @DevinCow Steaming cow patties 60% - Trump 20% - Expired mayonnaise 20% @reivaxor There we go: questionable trustworthiness. I cannot help but wonder how many rubles pay for these ridicul… @reivaxor Polls CAN be interesting, but this early? And this narrow a scope (the region)? And with so much at stake… @JamesHillTV Aw, your tiny dick and even tinier personality have been rejected by a few too many strong women. Yea,… @mikefeigin I'm alarmed that you had so many uneaten donuts lying around. @billjonesjr While at the same time, leading Dems in bad directions.All this will do is fuel Dem protest voters/non-voters when "their" candidate doesn't get the nomination. "See? S/h… polls piss me off. A) Who cares who the candidate is? VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO. B) This kind of "oh, Hillary's…