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Freelance journalist. Queen Bee of The Wild Rumpus blog. TV addict. Hip-hop head. Shoe enthusiast. Animal lover. Coffeeholic. Twit. Alias: Mommy.

751 Following   882 Followers   1,038 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/20/09


I forgot I had this bag and was so happy to find it! #annetaintorhttps://t.co/oHDFm6QyW0
5/26
2016
Scary Mommy sharing #parenting truths. https://t.co/EuiGi6zNBf
5/24
2016
Quinn called me up to her room to show me this scene. "I laid out… https://t.co/6zcRnJoSah
5/20
2016
My son, 6, telling jokes: What did the porcupine say to the cactus? Me: You're a prick? Son: No. It says, Are you my mother? Me: Oh.
5/19
2016
#Mermaid crossing. ❤️ #marthasvineyard https://t.co/XEoxSiZCYfLast night's sunset. 😍🌅 #marthasvineyard #happiness https://t.co/CjLFl9upDI
5/11
2016
How long until I will be able to concentrate on life again? Damn, man. This hurts even worse today than yesterday. #Prince
4/22
2016
Apparently, I'm 10 because this book summary made me 😂. https://t.co/84q5GtewlA
4/5
2016
When your kids get up at 5:30. https://t.co/BAdjRvbY8M
4/1
2016
Time never moves slower than during the hour preceding the babysitter's arrival. #parenting
3/30
2016
Nothing like a little ocean air to cleanse the soul. #nubblelighthouse #maine #easter2016 https://t.co/PBZVr2iDA0
3/27
2016
The coolest dog ever is not allowed: http://t.co/lHXk4yKLb9
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezSome days I wake up & feel so crappy I wonder why I ever drink at all. Then my 5yo refuses to eat his cereal because it's wet & I remember.
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezMe: Yay, it's spring! Mother Nature: 🖕🏼 #newengland https://t.co/DCE13LXySl
3/21
2016
Birthday party aftermath. #parenting https://t.co/zmLqsR15HD
3/5
2016
Coworker: You're lucky you have kids. You get money back at tax time. Me: It's a good thing kids cost $0 to raise the rest of the year.
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
2/13
2016
Long live the 1980s! #bighair #crimpingiron #mylittleponyhttps://t.co/CD6wqPSvlr
1/31
2016
#Sunday #parenting #magic #coffee https://t.co/Wogk5ibrcq
1/17
2016
Party Girl https://t.co/eQDjSdttsh https://t.co/Je3CU7tZdKPortrait of yours truly by my Superhero. That big smile *may* be… https://t.co/Np3pqZUaqw
1/2
2015
Resolve this! https://t.co/SPatuSAlrR https://t.co/5reyLGBiRV
12/30
2015
Merry, merry! https://t.co/XmhcRc7eRp
11/28
2015
I always tell my kids to do what makes their hearts sing. Her heart is… https://t.co/okoaYYuFyt
11/7
2015
Can't believe it's November. Gorgeous, warm day with no school! Perfect… https://t.co/m2ENaDSsId
11/3
2015
Autumn in New England takes my breath away. https://t.co/Rfa5eusdnH
10/20
2015
6:45 am: We are having a dance party to 80s pop wearing furry cat ears. I… https://t.co/YSn76eztuq
9/19
2015
@Thelaftoc thanks so much! :)
9/7
2015
It’s my Blogiversary! http://t.co/R8kK7UYqjm http://t.co/rWLsPrsxVJ
9/6
2015
Things you don't want to hear at 6:30am, before coffee: "Mom! I'm going to follow you everywhere you go!"
9/3
2015
Who knew a new bra could be so embarrassing? #parenting #momlife http://t.co/rFPcnByDRt http://t.co/1C0GLifdhz
9/1
2015
@MomResource thanks for the RT! :)Three stale pretzel Goldfish, Belle's mirror and ...? #parenting #momlife http://t.co/hcHrYCVBzK http://t.co/HEG3cX5VQK
8/31
2015
I wish the couple next to me at the bar would make out a little bit more. It's only 5pm, people. #bottomsup
8/29
2015
Sweet dreams are made of this... http://t.co/zdIuMNLc1U #SundayBlogShare #happiness #innocence
8/23
2015
Found this spelled in glitter letters at Michael's today. #mischief #deeznuts http://t.co/kbxKPJ2zFC
8/22
2015
Hangman is a great game to teach kids that if they don't learn how to spell, they could be put to death.
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
8/21
2015
Preschool meltdown in session because all 15,783 plastic food items won't fit in toy kitchen's microwave at once.
8/20
2015
Sweet dreams are made of this… http://t.co/RgxLhV80kv http://t.co/bXSUCMZ5O2
8/19
2015
On makeshift mammograms and ancient elephant innards http://t.co/ZuJXC9gphS http://t.co/DVf4CzdxFk
8/17
2015
My son, 6: Who wants me to MAKE IT RAIN?! Thank God he's just in the kiddie pool.
8/15
2015
Happening now: A fight between cheese Minion crackers and honey Teddy Grahams. #parenting
8/10
2015
Some goodies from the #Shakespeare insult calendar. http://t.co/mh4oGzEayN
8/6
2015
"If you're buying a one-piece swimsuit and you don't feel like a sausage stuffed into its… http://t.co/0eCamgHszI http://t.co/mHefMPJZxb
8/4
2015
I would love to be a part of the conversation that went into naming this… https://t.co/c7JQparRCV
8/1
2015
U.S. hunter accused of illegally killing #CecilTheLion has felony on record related to shooting bear, records show http://t.co/PY8EUD4skX
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
7/28
2015
This is how it feels to try and quit #coffee cold turkey. Biggest,… https://t.co/TA1EtnuD4d
7/27
2015
If anyone wonders how long it takes to get to the NH outlet mall from my house, play "All Star" by Smashmouth 11.5x in a row. #parentingIf my kids learn to love camping, it won't be because of me http://t.co/XnXRBm00Xt #sundayblogshareIf my kids learn to love camping, it won't be because of me http://t.co/u3DaRZkW8f http://t.co/ymHGw9txAv
7/26
2015
@GhostfaceKillah @Raekwon last night in #Boston. #WuTang #OB4CLtour #classics #hiphop http://t.co/15W5hStS0l
7/18
2015
A glass of seltzer water, or a bottle of wine? The next 30 minutes will decide. #parenting #witchinghour
7/14
2015
The beach is my happy place. But damn, the water is cold in Maine. #summerfun #nokidshttps://t.co/CbU8azrQiy
7/12
2015
My Daughter's New Favorite Song http://t.co/UO82Z0diBo http://t.co/44IyG2T6JY
7/10
2015
Today, we celebrate our ten year anniversary. Hooray! http://t.co/fBd9CtMdW8
7/9
2015
Breakfast at the Funny Farm http://t.co/Sw2kQX37LM http://t.co/VphRofyRXd#tbt One of my very favorite pictures of my mom and I. #momsanddaughters #70sbaby https://t.co/h3wTsVnPew
7/2
2015
Did you know the Yankee Doodle song has an alternate version? Happy Independence Day Week! http://t.co/kj6hUN5l2S http://t.co/sjot5VMJez
6/30
2015
I just bought cashews. The packaging warned me it may contain tree nuts."Mom, these nectarines all have huge butts. HAHAHAHA!!" This is why food shopping with kids takes two… https://t.co/bWC06heJqJ
6/26
2015
Thanks for Letting Me Call You Stinky http://t.co/ONLJNu4Rau http://t.co/Ddc8QsoD79
6/21
2015
The End is Just the Beginning… http://t.co/RErh2OgCZ9 http://t.co/cNPM6Zusnz
6/20
2015
3 yr old: Mom, why do you always make coffee? Me: Because kids.
6/16
2015
#tbt Since visiting my mom's, I have no shortage of old pics of myself. #onlychild #1970s #toddler https://t.co/NIhtCj9BGi
6/11
2015
I rarely do #TBT, but since I'm visiting mom's house, there are so many old pics around. So here's… https://t.co/fI9fv9E5YW
6/4
2015
@shakieranthem Yes! Some retained the smell stronger than others, but they all still smell. Amazing!Original Strawberry Shortcake dolls from my childhood, extracted from mom's storage trunk in basement… https://t.co/fUNSkDb6fN
6/3
2015
Please retweet. Prayers out for these two girls. RT @BillericaPD: Missing Juveniles http://t.co/9pLLh8xHun
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
5/26
2015
Wooden letters from Michael's plus washi tape = a fun project for the kids' rooms. They are still… https://t.co/ppgi7rTCDs
5/25
2015
So, this book exists. Read "Never Put on Random, Dirty Undies You Find in Someone Else's Backpack." http://t.co/grN2hf7SYk via @Maisy_F
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezNever Put on a Random Pair of Dirty Undies You Find in Someone Else's Backpack. http://t.co/gGxizQCbkn http://t.co/lSeJNW0Afq
5/22
2015
Kidless for a few hours so I get to hear my own tunes! Inspectah Deck delivers some of the dopest… https://t.co/YYWlOYnZPL
5/21
2015
Are You There, God? It's Me, Superhero. http://t.co/Ub22N3ECtT
5/17
2015
Is there such thing as a snowblower, but for pollen? Because I need one for my car and the inside of my nose and lungs.
5/12
2015
From my 5yo. I'm so glad he sees me this way -- especially that he thinks I only weigh 20 more pounds than him. ❤️ http://t.co/W55aNZY8wg
5/10
2015
In MA, I'm watching kids run instead of horses. But after this mint julep, they may look more like horses. #KyDerby #afternoondrinkingKentucky, we are there in spirit. Happy Derby Day! #mintjuleps #bourbonyall #afternoondrinkinghttps://t.co/nyGf8ybTtq
5/2
2015
Last day of spring break. Sanity is on the line. Hold me. https://t.co/IAhCm3LE3N
4/26
2015
I see that #GreysAnatomy is trending, and all I can think is, "that show is still on?"2006: Back when Lucy could see, and Miles ran shit in the Draper house. Miss you, Miles. You were the… https://t.co/8HjHV3oNUxSpring break. Mommy's little helper. #parenting http://t.co/h4zZ5VLZ5u
4/23
2015
Purple Hair, Don’t Care http://t.co/C4N2VhJFgl @ChewingCrayons It does feel great. I feel refreshed, although now struggling to find time to work it back in. #momproblems @ChewingCrayons thank you! I think it's my new color for a while. It's been a fun change!Each morning of spring break, I increase my coffee intake by one gallon.
4/21
2015
A great gift from a friend who knows me well. "Coffee keeps me going until it's acceptable to drink… https://t.co/yzvoQmGLrt
4/20
2015
3yo: Butt! Me: Hm, can you think of a nicer word to say? 3yo: Penis! Me: Nevermind.
4/19
2015
The week in Shakespeare insults. #Shakespeare #barbs #hatersgonnahate https://t.co/JeLI9Thm0vSuper Princess Girl, saving the world while we walked the dog. #girlpower #girlsrule #superheroes http://t.co/ygRbtID2Lc
4/18
2015
3yo: "Stop looking at me!" Aaaand, another milestone in parenting has been reached.OMG, is that the SUN?! http://t.co/lq7e8mkl5C
4/16
2015
Another day, another hole in the knee of a 5yo boy's pants. Pants shopping and Bandaids are my life.
4/14
2015
@TomAngel1 thanks for sharing!
4/13
2015
Question on Family Feud: Name a color underwear men buy to hide dirt and stains. No lie, people.Few things give me the heebie jeebies as much as touching raw meat of any kind. *shudder*My Shakespeare insult calendar has been on a roll this week. The weekend's entry is especially… https://t.co/gIwXA2IFHJ
4/12
2015
Sweetest dog in the whole world after a long walk on a beautiful day. #lucymaureendraperhttps://t.co/0tupVrGEnTWhen time is a factor, a quick pedicure at home is better than no pedicure at all. Nobody wants to see those nasty toes, y'all.First playground outing of 2015 about to happen. Thank you Mother Nature for finally melting New England snow. The caged animals are free!Kids woke me up from a dream in which I was playing soccer against my son's whole gym class. Not sure what it means, but seems appropriate.
4/11
2015
Repeat to self times ten million: "Do not read comments on news stories. Do not read comments on news stories." #somanyassholes
4/9
2015

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