Sign in with Twitter

Username:

Marshwena @MarlenaRodrigz Los Angeles, CA

fuhny gal: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Close Enough. #DARKcomedy March 9th 8pm

707 Following   1,966 Followers   6,088 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/2/09


Legit. I would marry this woman over me and day.AWKWARDDDDD https://t.co/GR3LeLhsJtGoing to my ex’s wedding. Hope I don’t run into him.
1/20
2018
Scaramucci was 6 years ago, right?
Retweeted by MarshwenaScaramucci was 6 years ago, right?
1/19
2018
Do i still have to go to sexual harassment training if i had my penis removed years ago???
1/17
2018
Justin Timberlake needs to learn to kill his babies. creatively speaking.Tonight! 8pm at @BarLubitsch Free! https://t.co/4vEcneRPSY @DannyMaupin vs @MarlenaRodrigz Paid vs Laid https://t.co/EgHCvHYxa8
Retweeted by MarshwenaMen. Be strong enough to stand for #metoo even when it scares you. If you’re defending Aziz, honestly come to terms… https://t.co/VMyokvtsdr
1/14
2018
TONIGHT I’ll be blindfolding the comics for the first time and this post is pretty much how they’re finding out. Ge… https://t.co/MB8sZU9eKr @glazerboohoohoo @ROBOTCAITLIN @BabsGray There’s more I’m not even telling you. @glazerboohoohoo @BabsGray Y’all gettin blindfolded.Tonight! Comedy in PITCH BLACK. It’s funny, intense, and trippy + This line up dynamos. Come hang. 😎 https://t.co/7E2G8RKZvB
Retweeted by Marshwena @ChrisGarcia2424 @BabsGray @JonoZalay @glazerboohoohoo @ROBOTCAITLIN Tickets are only $5 which is absolutely insane: https://t.co/50IScWm6TO
Retweeted by Marshwena
1/12
2018
Friday! Friday! TOMORROW! Come (not watch) comedians from Comedy Central, HBO, & more, do stand up sets in PITCH-BL… https://t.co/EOCf340EOp
Retweeted by MarshwenaThis is the one show I can do where I won't have to address my stupid hair. But I probably will anyway. https://t.co/AYYQmWD0NS
Retweeted by MarshwenaFriday! Friday! TOMORROW! Come (not watch) comedians from Comedy Central, HBO, & more, do stand up sets in PITCH-BL… https://t.co/EOCf340EOpI Believe Women, Unless They’re Talking About Me: https://t.co/dUdYrnICrt https://t.co/OFxQ5c3Lpz
Retweeted by MarshwenaIn the words of an orphan, “TOMORROW!” #comedy #in #the #DARK w/ @BabsGray @glazerboohoohoo @ROBOTCAITLINhttps://t.co/tCSfs2ioN8
1/11
2018
Boo 3: Madea De Los Meurtos
Retweeted by Marshwena"LEAVE PUERTO RICO ALONE." https://t.co/Bsa6cEApXMJesus, Mother Nature, what did Puerto Rico steal your man or something???
1/10
2018
@ChrisGarcia2424 @BabsGray @JonoZalay @glazerboohoohoo @ROBOTCAITLIN Tickets are only $5 which is absolutely insane: https://t.co/50IScWm6TOFriday! THIS VERY FRIDAY THE 12TH catch this stunning line up in PITCH-BLACK: @ChrisGarcia2424 @BabsGray @JonoZalayhttps://t.co/Cb6Zv0QUchsomehow whenever i try to go to youtube it takes me directly to this video. i've actualized! https://t.co/fp3CUnWcfZ via @YouTube @CodyMelcherEsq soooooo get it. whenever I wear my army medals people always assume I earned them.I laughed for six years at how the Twitter homepage decided to reflect on the Golden Globes https://t.co/Ftd15Pm5oB
Retweeted by Marshwenaroooooolls off the the tongue: "President Winfrey"But aren’t we all just an oil tanker burning off China’s coast at risk of exploding??? https://t.co/dE9IV00vts
1/8
2018
Whoever is in charge of the sensor button is HORNY AS HELL. #TheGoldenGlobesLast week all of my coworkers convinced me Gary Oldman was dead so not really sure who this guy is. #TheGoldenGlobesBest gig in Hollywood??? Whatever Stedman’s been doing this whole fucking time.think i just saw the villain from The Mask at target. LA YOU CANT ALSO BE HIGH.
1/7
2018
#OnTheHorizon: @marlenarodrigz's Dark: Stand Up Comedy in Pitch Black @lyrichyperion 1/12 https://t.co/Jg8tWaBDAn https://t.co/1Knu6gJvBJ
Retweeted by MarshwenaOf a hotel@Well now I’m laying on the floor.
1/6
2018
Tonight, I'm doing Performing Under the Influence, a show where I do a stand up set sober, then get as f*cked up as… https://t.co/xMc0BWHwsdNEXT FRIDAY is 2018's first DARK (a stand up show in pitch-black) in LA with @_chrisgarcia @BabsGrayhttps://t.co/rLozFrSTB6
Retweeted by MarshwenaIf this season of Black Mirror was looped video of The Apprentice I'd be like, touchè.
Retweeted by MarshwenaClimate: Call me BOMB CYCLONE now!! Me: Wow, Climate. You have really changed.
Retweeted by MarshwenaIf this season of Black Mirror was looped video of The Apprentice I'd be like, touchè.
1/5
2018
These bouncers are tough and they will ruin your night. https://t.co/UKRmWsKG5E @MarlenaRodrigz
Retweeted by Marshwena @Silentmurdah33 no. @xlcomedy i think you can...NEXT FRIDAY is 2018's first DARK (a stand up show in pitch-black) in LA with @_chrisgarcia @BabsGrayhttps://t.co/rLozFrSTB6Thanking @politico for that feel good moment at the end. https://t.co/15F0p7GVMI
Retweeted by MarshwenaAll dick pics must include an Apple TV remote for scale.
Retweeted by Marshwena @AlysonFouse RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.Thanking @politico for that feel good moment at the end. https://t.co/15F0p7GVMIAll dick pics must include an Apple TV remote for scale.
1/4
2018
I hope Hillary threw all of Bill’s sneakers in a bathtub and lit them on fire. https://t.co/OG3LnTIV46Bannon u silly as hell.
1/3
2018
I can’t believe Chris Harrison gets to be The Host every season. #TheBachelor
1/2
2018
This Millenium is finally old enough to FUUUUUCK.
Retweeted by Marshwena
1/1
2017
HOT TIP FOR GETTING HOME TONIGHT: call or book an old fashioned yellow cab because they DON’T surge at all around m… https://t.co/dcBaQ6iHTz
Retweeted by MarshwenaHAPPY NEW YEAR BEYONCE!!!HOT TIP FOR GETTING HOME TONIGHT: call or book an old fashioned yellow cab because they DON’T surge at all around m… https://t.co/dcBaQ6iHTz @peteleetweets Every action movie is the SAME FUCKING MOVIE. (end of discussion)FREEZING HOT SEX. #spiceland https://t.co/j6qoF9IuBe
Retweeted by MarshwenaI Didn’t Take His Last Name Because I’m a Feminist and Also It’s Butt: https://t.co/iDiBO8NPEx https://t.co/RX3fhVsjkV
Retweeted by Marshwena
12/31
2017
FREEZING HOT SEX. #spiceland https://t.co/j6qoF9IuBeLost my mind in an ice cave today. https://t.co/1FbWgQsqH1 @katiehannigan Probably something tingly!This Icelandic gift shop owner has a rat tail that is also a dread lock and he’s still a better choice than all American men.
12/30
2017
I thought I heard someone having sex in another hotel room but it was just someone walking down the hall in snow pants.Here we go! https://t.co/sjqX33UBbJI am sitting at a dinner with four strong independent brilliant women who i didn’t know existed two days ago. We’ve… https://t.co/u1ZjmhHWpQ“THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO MAKE SOUP.” - @callmequeue in #IcelandCongratulations New York on currently being colder than a place called Ice Land.
12/29
2017
Thank you Iceland, for fulfilling my dream of hearing Despacito on an accordion.
12/27
2017
@Brandazzle I’m so sorry to break this to you...Isn't a Christmas tree just a regular tree in full drag?
Retweeted by Marshwena
12/26
2017
Congrats to the pal @KrystynaHutch on becoming my Christmas presents ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ https://t.co/ITAscencNtbut what the actual fuck. https://t.co/YzrOEN6tsy
12/25
2017
Gonna assume EVERYONE’S family celebrates Christmas by sing/yelling Tamia’s “Stranger In My House.”If you work at Mar-a-Lago how do you NOT show up in Trump’s bedroom at 3 am dressed as a ghost in chains
Retweeted by MarshwenaI can feel everyone pushing Dua Lipa on me.There’s adult and there’s “I own my own washer dryer.”Somehow this is absolutely still applicable today. https://t.co/e138h0V7nN
12/24
2017

0