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When I was 5, my parents cut my hair short and an old man said Move Along, Son. I was also left on the school bus once. I write for a living.

4,024 Following   6,065 Followers   80,548 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/11/08


Sets self on fire https://t.co/1KdIhikhoWHey! Do you live in Roxbury? I'd love to ask you a few questions for background info for a story. @saraherib ROCK CATS!!!!!Seeing at Kevin Spacey's version of the Billionaire Boys Club bombed this weekend, don't hesitate to watch the deli… https://t.co/IEUqI9fgFT @LaurenDezenski STARThe 2008 financial crisis, fuelled by fraud in the subprime sector, cost every American $70,000, Fed study finds https://t.co/Z26nHbAVyx
Retweeted by Megan Johnson @TriciaPinMA If you google it a lot of stuff pops up!Damn. Maura Tierney is so damn good in The Affair.“His roommate threw a mayonnaise jar at the back of his head” https://t.co/oXOLSBr7Qq
8/20
2018
I kind of love that she dresses like an extra in the orphanage in Annie https://t.co/xg0sCFoSaJ @chezspence DYLAN MCKAY: MAD BAD AND DANGEROUS TO KNOW*looking at a small inn’s website* Me: show me room pictures. Inn: here is a stock picture of a wine glass, and t… https://t.co/uYxL9IYnBk
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonWow! This Woman Found Out She Was a Robot by Failing a CAPTCHA 11 Times: https://t.co/q7MsWksWsU https://t.co/LUTePu7WsM
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonHi, my name is Bella and I’m looking for a loving, stable - forever home! Pls msg my foster mom for details.… https://t.co/OANb556mV9
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonAdvancements are great, but someone receiving adequate evidence-based medical care in the ED shouldn’t be a headline https://t.co/WcwJFKobQM
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonJulia Roberts is meant to be 27 in My Best Friend's Wedding. Cameron Diaz is supposed to be TWENTY. But what's more… https://t.co/Aku4py1cLQ
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonThere’s tunnels under Webster and summer?????? WE’RE GOING https://t.co/A9fBWh2uETwhat https://t.co/zOsyd84wqi
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonI can’t believe people admit on social media that they’re at a counting crows concertediting two videos together can really change a story. https://t.co/6MwL1KRo9v
Retweeted by Megan Johnson“Succession is The Godfather... if all the kids were Fredo.” https://t.co/lJVoJRy2RhI think I’d like the theme song to Succession to be my background music for life @jgee @MuseumModernArt @paul_mcmorrow @GooseQ Wow remember me joshy @JennaMHill @JosieGL @BlacKkKlansman I need to see it stat @clieberwoman Oregon Trail or Brooklyn dot tumblr dot com. We could start thatTIME TO GET WILD https://t.co/YrVClTu9zb
8/19
2018
@mreils Bahahahaha SO MUCH #INFLUENCE. I’m so glad you love them!Look at this tiny door. This is Fraggle Hole level stuffs https://t.co/xtY8HTveRZGarrett’s rewatching Sopranos, guys https://t.co/Ao1jj0t4mS @jowrotethis THE CHASE! https://t.co/fi9upCzNkmPut this on my grave https://t.co/YRVKgznGXT“Okay I’ll get out of bed, right after I take this video tour of OJ Simpson’s house.” - something I actually just said to myselfVictim's finger bitten off in Mass. golf course brawl https://t.co/RNXkiaJgBz https://t.co/tKPaFalUWH
Retweeted by Megan Johnson11:53pm so why wouldn’t there be two little kids and a baby outside my windowOmg Ray Liotta is doing Chantix adsDead https://t.co/3CXKXalpXp @TheVUinJP @kciccolini I can’t @megansarahj https://t.co/ZJHuzJcrS1
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonI hope there’s no murderation or stabberation in the dancerey https://t.co/M8y7ba4WmS
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonHenry Rollins on Joe Rogan’s podcast is SO GOOD. https://t.co/B6vaHSy4cL
8/18
2018
I'm a 33-year-old woman who just googled "what is a purchase order" @ATCodinha if i have to see any more children doin the floss dance on instagram, i'm doneI'm gonna go check the mail again in case mailman just happened to forget to put a paycheck in there the first time around @klangfarben SO good @klangfarben link meeee @chezspence omg, that was so dark. she started hanging out in the parking lot with those "bad kids" for 2 days. Als… https://t.co/7COv2UntHFTHEY HAD 2 JUNIOR YEARS https://t.co/OVw9zPfdlX @chezspence and donna got that extra time because of her learning disability right??the dialogue is SO GOOD. "OH MY GOD BOB. OUTTA THE WATER!" "Ah, there's the carcass." https://t.co/lVwsDePOCIHenry Rollins talking on Joe Rogan's podcast about how he has no friends and never wants to go anywhere or do anyth… https://t.co/IX3XTdbNwi
Retweeted by Megan Johnson @kciccolini best 2 hours of my life @JohnnyRico101 https://t.co/O9g7p31mAR @JohnnyRico101 i set it on fire @sophyish It's like they legit don't have to ask each other any questions they may dislike! i hate it! and yes, i f… https://t.co/ae3wiTwt74 @sophyish worstcelebrity killed the journalist star 🎶 https://t.co/QZQXM2Kvxg
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonANGEL. Keanu Reeves Is Doing a New Thing: Publishing Books https://t.co/g0eJ50NBDHHe’s so casual about the car being on fire https://t.co/ex4MRE8EWtInbox: @_spaceus, the group that took over the Roslindale substation this summer, will take over 20 Brattle St. in… https://t.co/ta72IbGLunTHIS THIS THIS. I am so sick of it. https://t.co/eNWarMgcTz @thelindsayist Yes!I haven’t done ecstasy since high school but Sharp Objects really makes you wanna strap on a pair of skates and rollI styled this photo https://t.co/AFmGUhsvudGoing way back on someone’s Facebook wall = being as careful as if you’re disarming a bomb that you don’t hit that like buttonEXCLUSIVE: @bostonherald lays off most of its advertising reps in "consolidation" with @LowellSunNews https://t.co/STIcw5bVFm
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonCASINO (1995) dir. Scorsese https://t.co/H0rtbMrxqk
Retweeted by Megan Johnson
8/17
2018
@TheWriteStuffSK @khemingway @thedailybeast I NEED Patti to tweet about thistoday I learned that goats who won't stop head butting have to wear pool noodles and it feels like information I sh… https://t.co/3RK4owVTyo
Retweeted by Megan Johnson @megansarahj "Overman was killed INSIDE the park. The baby was caught INSIDE the park. Its mother is INSIDE the p… https://t.co/GDdAeLJ1bk
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonPeople need to appreciate Jaws 3 moreHow Realistic Are Shark Attacks in Movies? https://t.co/WZEXjZRJgf via @vultureStill stalking my ideal dining room table on eBay https://t.co/WTHTG7sbBYHow pissed is Madonna that Aretha died on her birthday @mmceach476 @MacKrnz thank you!!!! @CotterReporter I LOVE LIBRARY CRIMESomg shading Swift, i'm living for it https://t.co/woctnRxmHO @MacKrnz @mmceach476 HE SHOULD BE SO LUCKYWill the guy who sells mangoes out of the back of his truck on Havre St. be interviewed tho https://t.co/GSQ6uqUN4qThere's a guy i always thought was super cute but then he posted an inspirational life video on facebook un-ironica… https://t.co/Gp08xP4vUn
8/16
2018

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