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When I was 5, my parents cut my hair short and an old man said Move Along, Son. I was also left on the school bus once. I write for a living.

4,024 Following   6,065 Followers   80,548 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/11/08

Sets self on fire! Do you live in Roxbury? I'd love to ask you a few questions for background info for a story. @saraherib ROCK CATS!!!!!Seeing at Kevin Spacey's version of the Billionaire Boys Club bombed this weekend, don't hesitate to watch the deli… @LaurenDezenski STARThe 2008 financial crisis, fuelled by fraud in the subprime sector, cost every American $70,000, Fed study finds
Retweeted by Megan Johnson @TriciaPinMA If you google it a lot of stuff pops up!Damn. Maura Tierney is so damn good in The Affair.“His roommate threw a mayonnaise jar at the back of his head”
I kind of love that she dresses like an extra in the orphanage in Annie @chezspence DYLAN MCKAY: MAD BAD AND DANGEROUS TO KNOW*looking at a small inn’s website* Me: show me room pictures. Inn: here is a stock picture of a wine glass, and t…
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonWow! This Woman Found Out She Was a Robot by Failing a CAPTCHA 11 Times:
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonHi, my name is Bella and I’m looking for a loving, stable - forever home! Pls msg my foster mom for details.…
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonAdvancements are great, but someone receiving adequate evidence-based medical care in the ED shouldn’t be a headline
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonJulia Roberts is meant to be 27 in My Best Friend's Wedding. Cameron Diaz is supposed to be TWENTY. But what's more…
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonThere’s tunnels under Webster and summer?????? WE’RE GOING
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonI can’t believe people admit on social media that they’re at a counting crows concertediting two videos together can really change a story.
Retweeted by Megan Johnson“Succession is The Godfather... if all the kids were Fredo.” think I’d like the theme song to Succession to be my background music for life @jgee @MuseumModernArt @paul_mcmorrow @GooseQ Wow remember me joshy @JennaMHill @JosieGL @BlacKkKlansman I need to see it stat @clieberwoman Oregon Trail or Brooklyn dot tumblr dot com. We could start thatTIME TO GET WILD
@mreils Bahahahaha SO MUCH #INFLUENCE. I’m so glad you love them!Look at this tiny door. This is Fraggle Hole level stuffs’s rewatching Sopranos, guys @jowrotethis THE CHASE! this on my grave“Okay I’ll get out of bed, right after I take this video tour of OJ Simpson’s house.” - something I actually just said to myselfVictim's finger bitten off in Mass. golf course brawl
Retweeted by Megan Johnson11:53pm so why wouldn’t there be two little kids and a baby outside my windowOmg Ray Liotta is doing Chantix adsDead @TheVUinJP @kciccolini I can’t @megansarahj
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonI hope there’s no murderation or stabberation in the dancerey
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonHenry Rollins on Joe Rogan’s podcast is SO GOOD.
I'm a 33-year-old woman who just googled "what is a purchase order" @ATCodinha if i have to see any more children doin the floss dance on instagram, i'm doneI'm gonna go check the mail again in case mailman just happened to forget to put a paycheck in there the first time around @klangfarben SO good @klangfarben link meeee @chezspence omg, that was so dark. she started hanging out in the parking lot with those "bad kids" for 2 days. Als… HAD 2 JUNIOR YEARS @chezspence and donna got that extra time because of her learning disability right??the dialogue is SO GOOD. "OH MY GOD BOB. OUTTA THE WATER!" "Ah, there's the carcass." Rollins talking on Joe Rogan's podcast about how he has no friends and never wants to go anywhere or do anyth…
Retweeted by Megan Johnson @kciccolini best 2 hours of my life @JohnnyRico101 @JohnnyRico101 i set it on fire @sophyish It's like they legit don't have to ask each other any questions they may dislike! i hate it! and yes, i f… @sophyish worstcelebrity killed the journalist star 🎶
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonANGEL. Keanu Reeves Is Doing a New Thing: Publishing Books’s so casual about the car being on fire @_spaceus, the group that took over the Roslindale substation this summer, will take over 20 Brattle St. in… THIS THIS. I am so sick of it. @thelindsayist Yes!I haven’t done ecstasy since high school but Sharp Objects really makes you wanna strap on a pair of skates and rollI styled this photo way back on someone’s Facebook wall = being as careful as if you’re disarming a bomb that you don’t hit that like buttonEXCLUSIVE: @bostonherald lays off most of its advertising reps in "consolidation" with @LowellSunNews
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonCASINO (1995) dir. Scorsese
Retweeted by Megan Johnson
@TheWriteStuffSK @khemingway @thedailybeast I NEED Patti to tweet about thistoday I learned that goats who won't stop head butting have to wear pool noodles and it feels like information I sh…
Retweeted by Megan Johnson @megansarahj "Overman was killed INSIDE the park. The baby was caught INSIDE the park. Its mother is INSIDE the p…
Retweeted by Megan JohnsonPeople need to appreciate Jaws 3 moreHow Realistic Are Shark Attacks in Movies? via @vultureStill stalking my ideal dining room table on eBay pissed is Madonna that Aretha died on her birthday @mmceach476 @MacKrnz thank you!!!! @CotterReporter I LOVE LIBRARY CRIMESomg shading Swift, i'm living for it @MacKrnz @mmceach476 HE SHOULD BE SO LUCKYWill the guy who sells mangoes out of the back of his truck on Havre St. be interviewed tho's a guy i always thought was super cute but then he posted an inspirational life video on facebook un-ironica…