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Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser Los Angeles, CA

Comedian and host of @youupsxm on @SiriusXM Channel 95 every morning. Former host of @notsafeshow. Watch my 2 specials on @Netflix and @comedycentral!

2,095 Following   237,912 Followers   27,350 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/15/07


ST LOUIS! TOMORROW NIGHT! TELL A FRIEND. ALL MONEY GOES TO @StrayRescue! https://t.co/GkfBAYtszn @TheAdamEllis10 @JamieParx @DonRickles @chriscornell @GarryShandling @greggiraldo Mitch and Farley! I forgot them!! @GodUWish @TimfromDa70s Just ate 6 tonight. Thank you for this.Ugh I have so many aarons to do
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserI will never understand why we don’t look our cutest when we first wake up in the morning like all I was doin was l… https://t.co/a8fiNeediV
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @JamieParx In some kind of particular order: Bourdain, Diana, Greg Giraldo, Robin Williams, Britney Murphy, JFK jr,… https://t.co/3CIeWtK3zhI’ve gone my entire life without saying the n word. Not when singing a song, not out loud, not in my head. It reall… https://t.co/DOnNm5wkVo
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser
8/20
2018
Just when you think you can’t love Michael Shannon any more than you already do: https://t.co/3SeiLCY38Z
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @JamieParx Wow I want to play!!I don’t think I could sum up men any better than this: https://t.co/5hrqWqhaPd
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @NewScarDesign @StrayRescue @stlfunnybone I love it so much!! Thank you!! @wyldride I would download this TODAY. Dying to scrape some Ws!!If you’re feeling generous this morning, here’s somewhere you can throw your generosity: https://t.co/iMLGq0PwFJ @WhitneyCummings It’s over. We’re done. @ohhhjayme Yay!!I do'nt care what Kids at School call me because they are all Disgusting Fake Losers and my Real Friends go to a di… https://t.co/LeIaUlCbuV
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @OnlineAlison I’m excited but scared! @OnlineAlison Whoa whoa whoa @LeifMWright @RoastBattle Yes!!! @90sKidCraig I love you Craig!!!Soooo many people I know have Lyme. It’s a true life-ruiner that doctors won’t treat or acknowledge bc insurance co… https://t.co/Jtm2lEUuw9
8/19
2018
There will be tape of Trump saying the N-Word and it will mean nothing. Zero things will happen except a lot of peo… https://t.co/anUWlRCjdl
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @AlisonRosen Nope. She’s too far gone.Help me out... https://t.co/maAC4rKMwF
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserDon’t cry because it’s over, grimace because it’s still happening
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @septembawest It matters to me! Thank you!Here’s me stammering about self-love on a morning show in Atlanta. https://t.co/h7oi8P3vO0 @timconvy Hahhahah Hahhah writing out easy like that really got me @joshuacstephens 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 @chrisdcomedy What about Chinese??? @afyouknow @LorenzoRF562 Exactly. I’m not shitting on j Lo, everyone. I’m making fun of the fact that this article is bullshit. @myheiny @LorenzoRF562 Same stuff. I said that earlier. @HomerPimpson69 I have at least one of them @LorenzoRF562 I agree but it doesn’t change the fact that these two things are what motivate most famous people @_bryanhaley Not hating, just a fact. It’s why most people do anything work-related, myself included.Money and relevancy? https://t.co/007KJHbegI @latinogeek @punchlinecomedy Yes!! You learned!! Hahah
8/18
2018
@nikkibenn @MarkArum @MissVWaters Loved meeting you!2 girls 1 cup https://t.co/YKkl85Nqto
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserHere’s a picture of a person with a micropenis after he murdered an elephant. His next shot should be through his o… https://t.co/1se4MQ1dM4
Retweeted by Nikki Glaserdropped my phone in my mcdonald’s sprite and it started charging
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserLogging onto Twitter vs Being on it for 10 minutes. https://t.co/F7iWb40emk
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserATLANTA TONIGHT. Also tomorrow. Five shows to choose from. @punchlinecomedy
8/17
2018
@Danno627 THIS COULD EXPLAIN IT THANK YOU @jails2rails Holy shit. Thank you for sharing.I STILL NEED ANSWERS ABOUT THIS https://t.co/BrNevTSh1MDID ANYONE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS? https://t.co/VleZTrcZTr‘They treated me like a dog’: An Immigrant Was Forced to Clean the Truck of the Border Agent Who Arrested Him. https://t.co/3vzzDm09WD
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserHouston woman incarcerated on theft charges who couldn't make $1,500 bail hangs herself at the Harris County jail.… https://t.co/bPYpI8sp9D
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserI’m SO excited that we get to have @hamishblake on the show tomorrow morning. CANT SLEEP. https://t.co/wJK0Slorsn
8/16
2018
In the past few years, a subset of straight men calling themselves “incels” have constructed a violent political id… https://t.co/owT1Q3oDVB
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserThe drivers who filmed this, in another video, said they tried repeatedly to speak to the man but he did not seem t… https://t.co/qRGGDkMDym
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser
8/15
2018
Hot take: I don’t want to hear a tape of the president saying the n word. There would be no consequences for him an… https://t.co/ZGRo6wK65G
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @ComedyCentral Hahahhaa oh my god I’m just now seeing thisTORONTO I’M COMING TO TOWN https://t.co/BNAUXDVGGXI will never, ever forget this moment. #ArethaFranklin 👑 https://t.co/F40i2mSQQ8
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser
8/14
2018
Tomorrow! This show is so funny. https://t.co/LLUQ6wP7a2 @KateCasey 😍😍😍🎉💞I have more passwords than friends
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser"He got MeToo'd" = "He got caught and I'm scared I will too"
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserThis was insane. https://t.co/iUBkJCmPZe @kalfusa Thuy! Tu te souviens! Ils me manquent mais je connais qu’ils sont trop heureux avec mes parents et ma sœur… https://t.co/xJ2Tp38dHE @djgouldy I love your picture
8/13
2018
@PorshaLauri @MackenzieeML Aw thanks doll! I know what it means to be a fan of someone and so I get how it can mean… https://t.co/GRCJfljxbp @LogicalEnvelope That apt had sooooo many silverfish and roaches!! @MackenzieeML So excited for this journey with you!
8/12
2018
@pipsqueakpaints I want to purchase one please! @RaiderKitty1 Woo hoo!!My friend does that gross thing where they tell you to smell their fingers. It's like, we get it Carol, you masturbated.
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserTomorrow NYC https://t.co/BCaRjLyIiL @ingwing @TomAThakkar @YouUpSXM I don’t even catch his lines most of the time! He’s the quickest!! I am #blessed
8/11
2018
“Hahaha fuckig idiot” me, a 29 year old man watching ‘Chopped Teen Tournament,’ mocking a 15 year old for undercoo… https://t.co/3c3Hi56h1i
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @yellowjkt How did you find this?!
8/10
2018
@BrandandCo I’m all about the single. I’m a one ply guy. 🍃🌱🌎🎟Made this today on @YouUpSXM with @MykaFox. (Cc @justinbieber & @haileybaldwin love youuuu) https://t.co/0OGRLHYcIjOh, y’all thought Barbara didn’t hit the 2nd verse?? YOU THOUGHT https://t.co/rjoVhoS43R
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @ChaseMit @PFTompkins @pattymo He was important to this planet and I MISS HIM DAMMIT!!! @BrandandCo 👋 @PainterDustin Oh but there is
8/8
2018

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