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Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser Los Angeles, CA

Comedian and host of @youupsxm on @SiriusXM Channel 95 every morning. Former host of @notsafeshow. Watch my 2 specials on @Netflix and @comedycentral!

2,115 Following   259,340 Followers   27,945 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/15/07


I was eliminated from @dancingabc 17 years ago, but last night I got to return to perform in @mrbobbybones’ final d… https://t.co/GI3wa1uVwAI love @kathygriffin and am so grateful for her. https://t.co/tc0M6066s0 @itstheref Oh wow thanks @ptxdwts Lol You’re not wrongYou break my heart. I am so sad for you & everyone who suffers & will continue to suffer from your pathological li… https://t.co/71qVPPUBzD
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserI don’t like the way u talk about people esp those who have risked their lives 4ur entitled freedoms. u were not t… https://t.co/jnKGHTpIG8
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser#DWTS rumors are flyyyying. Big announcement coming soon... https://t.co/Sq5M3NR7iAHuge congrats to @mrBobbyBones and @SharnaBurgess on their @DancingABC win tonight. I was honored that they asked m… https://t.co/kJVEy1Cd0F @drop_dead_blue It was sooooo fun! @michelebaci I left already! Shit!
11/20
2018
Look closely for me on this tonight. https://t.co/32VvhyEyasIn 2014 an Ohio judge punched his then-wife 20 times and slammed her head against the dashboard of his car five tim… https://t.co/GE5HpUkezD
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @AirbusIago Why don’t you just tell me
11/19
2018
Ladies and Gentlemen... The President Of The United States! https://t.co/GBmU34sZaj
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser
11/18
2018
SALT LAKE CITY I’m here doing shows and just saw this sweet moment at the airport. Come to @WiseguysUtah tonight or… https://t.co/8wjkQpwFYbYes to this. Check out this new comedy album from @Erik_Bergstrom. https://t.co/ilSwWfhgZZ @dexterhobbes But does it HURT?
11/16
2018
@drumonthegun @DrDrewPodcast Easy way to stop drinking! By Allen carrSLC! THIS WEEKEND. I’ll be at wiseguyscomedy with @TomAThakkar. Come! Tell your Mormon friends! #SLC #slcvegan (📸… https://t.co/R6a3uX8QJd
11/15
2018
I can’t recommend this enough. If you are in nyc the next two months, make sure you see this show. I LOVED it. https://t.co/rrqzdaaFCG
11/14
2018
Guess what?! @NikkiGlaser is coming BACK to record another #NotTooDeep with us tomorrow! I'm so excited! Send me yo… https://t.co/oIz95KWBw2
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserCool ass show tomorrow https://t.co/3HvZeHgpen
11/13
2018
@BruceGr42188618 Please do!Yep https://t.co/a6CU8dSv9J
11/12
2018
This is how I donated: https://t.co/5lJxFAAtfA https://t.co/feku1dAL0WThis is a perfect tweet about the female experience. https://t.co/zGKzSdaUYdIn lieu of prayers (bc there’s clearly no god), all of my obsessive compulsive thoughts of hopelessness and despair… https://t.co/BXM6J2sTu4Trump cancelled due to rain. This is orgasm level perfect. https://t.co/Kovt7CY8rh
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @BurlingtonBam Read it. It’s definitely going to happen.This article ruined my weekend. https://t.co/Nx2yMYzW4D @lisa1027 Okay please remind me
11/10
2018
@TylerJacobsSTAD @SauceAndShram @ChicagoImprov Hahahhahahhaha @tina_pali @carrieanninaba @TheJamTVShow Thanks babe!! @TylerJacobsSTAD @SauceAndShram @ChicagoImprov Find your phone TylerWe need to stop giving a shit about ruining guilty white men’s lives. https://t.co/8SLhpKSivM
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @DianneGallagher 🙋🏼‍♀️I’m leaning into this trend pretty hard @Groovyhoovy @WGNMorningNews Your snacks are great! I am definitely bringing a purse next time to steal 6 bags of Skinny Pop.Here are the cities I will be in through the end of the year. Many more to come. Please come out and watch me build… https://t.co/6Z4gsF7mHTShe's had to move four times, pay for a private security detail & hasn't been able to return to her job as a profes… https://t.co/u0IjhBePDz
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser"I don't want prayers. I don't want thoughts. I WANT GUN CONTROL. No more guns!" - mother of Telemachus Orfanos, wh… https://t.co/jbo0eVYjuP
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserWhen this is all over and you write a fun book rebuking everything & acting like you were an innocent passenger in… https://t.co/fGchltYw7y
Retweeted by Nikki Glaserthat feeling when you're a now-unemployed former governor of new jersey, and you hear that trump is considering mak… https://t.co/VBfIJcG4K2
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserI’ve been unfollowed by hundreds of people this week so I must be doing something left.
Retweeted by Nikki Glaserif you're thinking about killing a bunch of people, kill yourself first to see if you like it
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser
11/9
2018
#MustWatch https://t.co/IF1dNCHfGr
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserCHICAGO TONIGHT AND ALL WEEKEND. I can’t wait. @ChicagoImprov
11/8
2018
@artiequitter You can do this, Artie. I believe in you. @antmeccia I don’t disagree2020 will be vicious.
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @akenoff NooooooAll the votes are in & exit polls suggest my Wife is cruising to victory for another term as my soulmate AND best freind!
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserGreat night, but to my home state of FL, you turned your backs on the students of Parkland, you turned your back on… https://t.co/zAORI0kQPy
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @darsheinii Oh yes I remember saying this!Just voted and was genuinely confused and challenged by the process. Thank you to the 18 volunteers who helped me with my scantron.
11/7
2018
If you are dating someone who doesn’t vote today, you should never have sex with them again.
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserThis is criminal. 3 machines at a polling place in ATLANTA. https://t.co/KkFtuXKw4S
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserToday is the mother fucking day. Vote. Canvass. Phone bank. Text everyone in your contacts. Drive people to the pol… https://t.co/ragO6NTXNi
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserWhite Women. Vote like your husbands aren’t watching. https://t.co/ecnU6qigJt
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11/6
2018
CHICAGO! I’m coming to town this weekend w/ @TomAThakkar and @AndrewTCollin! 5 shows to choose from. Get tickets so… https://t.co/YRWCEPWn31 @sternshow @LisaLampanelli @JimBreuer @rmlimodriver69 She got coffee all over my blazer and it was so funny that I was okay with itI'm not going to lie. I'm having nightmares that we're going to experience the same trauma of Trump 2016 all over a… https://t.co/NjjqwDpRi1
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserA black woman stood up to a white man for a white woman in a crowd full of white men. Let that sink in. https://t.co/n1OLCtsP1l
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserDELETE YOUR FACEBOOK https://t.co/9cSNuPNrYD
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @CarlisleFComedy Dude this is so funny and tragicthis makes me so happy. https://t.co/aq4ATlOIKj
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @Lissielys 🙌🙌🙌🙌
11/5
2018
@MMayeron @anylaurie16 EwWatch out for this one, ladies. Very common. https://t.co/KiUHmFg3UM @galindoactual @anylaurie16 THIS @wolfiecomedy @anylaurie16 YUP @1duringI @anylaurie16 ABUSE IS SLIGHT 👏👏👏👏 @HobokenPudding @anylaurie16 She seems cool tbh @that_hayley @anylaurie16 Well-written 👌 @SammyjHarman @anylaurie16 I think I’m into this guy @anylaurie16 He told me not to believe his ex that he had hit her
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @anylaurie16 @ashboos Ha!! @PFTompkins Luckily all of them end up in the ocean anyway!Trump Claims He Can Overrule Constitution With Executive Order Because Of Little-Known ‘No One Will Stop Me’ Loopho… https://t.co/ZPMSp431of
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @ltrsartell @anylaurie16 Yes!! Give that sweet bitch one from me, too! She didn’t know. She was doing her best. @sarahmcpants @anylaurie16 WOWLet’s all respond to this thread by @anylaurie16 so we can help each other out. https://t.co/FVWcuANT4x @AlexEdelman https://t.co/Inm4XPK3Mx @anylaurie16 I sent a selfie where I looked cute and he waited a half hour after viewing it and then responded “going to bed”.The unwillingness of many in the media to explicitly call out racism is one of the reasons Republicans think they c… https://t.co/PRbdvu2c4Y
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserAn angry white man walked into a yoga studio in Tallahassee Friday and shot six women, killing two - and was only p… https://t.co/KVCLLEO8jO
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @RonFunches @TomAThakkarI co-sign this!! https://t.co/UGZxljJV1WClose the internet. She wins it. We can all go home. https://t.co/9AN5uWG5Sv
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @Coastie_chick1 Hahahha thanks for coming! @DistrictOfSport @dcimprov Thank you for coming! @anyamarina @theemaya Whoa I’m eating a stick right now @OnlineAlison They aren’t. I felt the same way going in... @davelozo they’re married and miserable, Ross is overestimating every bit of attention he gets from an attractive w… https://t.co/9rnO3ngsiG
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11/4
2018
@jendelpozzo 💕🙏💕 @MiloManheim @Evy_Lynch I love you for this, Milo!!Vote like a bunch of school children were shot and a bunch of other children were put into camps indefinitely bc th… https://t.co/S1KLgEMmc8
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserAlso "Twitter apologizes for 'Kill All Jews' trending topic" is the most 2018 headline
Retweeted by Nikki GlaserThis makes my heart heavy. These are educators of children. There was a reason I was raised to question authority https://t.co/wsrCvEE2Dd
Retweeted by Nikki Glaser @GlitterCheese But u ARE 🔥🔥🔥
11/3
2018
@DallasKish @JimBreuer @DamnDaniel30 @sternshow @LisaLampanelli @salgovernale @shalomshuli @rmlimodriver69 Wonderin… https://t.co/Sodx6aMN3L
11/2
2018

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