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Matthew Inman @Oatmeal Seattle, Washington

I make comics

467 Following   631,690 Followers   7,072 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/13/07


How to tell time on your new designer wristwatch: 1. Raise your arm and look at the watch 2. Mumble the words "fu… https://t.co/jJiPNW1VPS
1/18
2018
@designtaxi This applies to major news outlets and you. Your website is unreadable. https://t.co/jIogtsZBC2☕🍺🚬 https://t.co/MzJRChL5tChttps://t.co/BPTdgwYWyaYes please. The world needs an Anglerfish emoji https://t.co/C56AhLmVMj https://t.co/MxotLhI1Mi
1/16
2018
@caylenb https://t.co/b4t30TwQMx
1/14
2018
me when I drink coffee: This is great! Let’s drink more coffee! me when I drink alcohol: This is great! Let’s dri… https://t.co/09nVWz5gNA
1/12
2018
Happy birthday to my co-worker @NotTheRightDave. I drew him a photo transformation on this special day of his birth. https://t.co/FtmiwzfgGs
1/11
2018
@AndyRichter @pawkhrua Old, but relevant. https://t.co/hdMJqt0ioAevery time I hear the word cilantro I picture a nissan from the early 90s
1/10
2018
@squattypotty My girlfriend and I came up with some alternate names for your product: 1. Poopy Stoopy 2. Shi**y Si… https://t.co/1A5BLedlCF
Retweeted by Matthew InmanRelevant, sort of. https://t.co/QdjclydVADMy entire career in one comic. https://t.co/ykJOtbVocnAlso, I wasn't kidding about being charged $20,000 per post to reach all 4m of my followers -- followers that I con… https://t.co/DPMQ4G7eo0"This post is performing better than 70% of your other posts! Boost it for $2,000 to reach up to 10% of your follow… https://t.co/YKA7bj1RyqHow a web design goes straight to hell (2009) https://t.co/Zb55E9VjFe https://t.co/8MR0uFWpBe
1/9
2018
@specolations @ASmallFiction Go for itMultiplicative Idiocy: now available as a printable PDF. Download it here: https://t.co/e24ItZ0Df0 https://t.co/tlpt2v4YFt @ASmallFiction If you enjoyed this, followed @ASmallFiction by James Miller. He publishes tiny stories in 280 chara… https://t.co/QtZhsbD2XQI illustrated this tiny story from @ASmallFiction https://t.co/fjfeK3qrPJ
1/8
2018
@TheNeueJohn I thought it would tie all the images together, but from my view it just looked like it posted ten ind… https://t.co/6bSi29jXBM
1/7
2018
@ArcadianMaggie Yep, all better! https://t.co/M0BrMibdDrI am making an attempt at #flashfiction and I fully intend to win many awards for these profound literary worksAfter losing his job, Frank’s marriage was on the rocks He was unemployed for MONTHS until the Parks Department hi… https://t.co/UdN6ft7sEC @LeeshaHannigan @carnalizer Bingo https://t.co/Zb55E9DINGEver been in a design meeting with multiple people? Remember that idiocy is multiplicative, not additive. A half-… https://t.co/eOkqcNodD5
1/3
2017
@FoolishChemist You must be a real hit at parties.18 years ago today Y2K devastated computers across the planet and brought humanity to its knees. Tonight I hold a… https://t.co/ERFwbixouy*cheep cheep*At a party, I begin to tell a story but the intended recipient is distracted The guy next to him notices me tellin… https://t.co/xVOKzYc2q7Enjoy tomorrow. https://t.co/Ho2NcSJlob
12/31
2017
@ASmallFiction This is amazing. Would you mind if I illustrated it as a mini comic? Credit will be given, obviously. @MyFitnessPal you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for this notification. Thank you. https://t.co/J1j4ZvbuQzMe: I wonder what time it is *picks up phone. Watches a video of a pug riding a tricycle. Puts phone back down.*… https://t.co/SireSXuDvH
12/30
2017
@gheja_ @mewishnia THE OUTSIDE! @mewishnia Oops. I broke the next button while tweaking some javascript.More dumb jokes here: https://t.co/M0BrMibdDr I didn't write these. They've been emailed to me over the years an… https://t.co/WeYnMfPAiDHow did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? ... HE FELT HIS PRESENTS.security: "back of the line, sir" me: "but I have TSA pre-check" security: "sir, this is Pirates of the Carribean"
12/28
2017
I've been posting long-form comics like this on Instagram lately, so if you want to read the latest stuff without h… https://t.co/1LSAZRtkqOI used to have a hard time thinking that babies were cute https://t.co/qf0QcJVaEk https://t.co/A9Tj7o0886 @_bgates bahaha. thank you for this. https://t.co/bo3a6Awc4tthat moment when u don't fully understand something but you decide to explain it to someone else anyway and as ur b… https://t.co/WoIEFUicSq
12/26
2017
@Drapervich Thank you for the weather-related anecdote that is extraordinary and fascinating and would love to hear more. @ArobeeTV Thank you for the weather-related anecdote that is extraordinary and fascinating and would love to hear more. @EdinaCoyote Thank you for the weather-related anecdote that is extraordinary and fascinating and would love to hear more.How to receive a crappy Christmas present https://t.co/DZ28YATlG4 https://t.co/OVN5XX9KnSEvery time it snows in a big city https://t.co/I8GSLcZWt5BREAKING WEATHER ALERT: Following recent snowfall, Seattle residents brace for anecdotes from midwesterners about what "real" snow is like.
12/25
2017
@Tyrnn I made a little mistake in my HTML. Fixed it now.How different age groups celebrate Christmas https://t.co/4EVcUINWzp https://t.co/8b2N1bLdYq
12/24
2017
@JoshHodding https://t.co/NQcPm2W478what's your christmas eve eve tradition? mine is to drink until the dark swells of the universe crash down upon the… https://t.co/it8DNl4U2B🍪🍪🍪 https://t.co/tkcLIDPYt2
12/23
2017
@pstoyreviews Thanks for the review! We had a lot of fun designing these. Also, you're correct that in the game y… https://t.co/4aOkLokRNG⚡🐈⚡ https://t.co/5bUFcI5bux
12/22
2017
@rob_sheridan @starwars Appropriate timing https://t.co/iugf4HeMCtI have revealed the #truth https://t.co/wyQp1sBV1v🐈 https://t.co/k1eOQneepF
12/21
2017
@kirstenrourke @gameofkittens I modified this one to just be Crampus. https://t.co/CyPBmWLlSo @cuppykait @gameofkittens https://t.co/z8vxLJd074 @aribraverman @gameofkittens https://t.co/px0FRJ0jiI @tribalbob @gameofkittens https://t.co/WnampDACgC @StefanTrask @gameofkittens https://t.co/ogA5VNyvRj @sarah_bean @gameofkittens https://t.co/RHKCsOQ9Y4 @freekdeman @gameofkittens #art https://t.co/3Uz8fv2KNT @katewelchhhh @gameofkittens https://t.co/N9wt4A0SUAPost your festive holiday name below and I'll do my best to draw it. https://t.co/ITjYNH5k8D via @gameofkittens https://t.co/A0EeUHf82J @LeeshaHannigan Best way to shorten?https://t.co/uNsNA5pLW2#WednesdayWisdom https://t.co/lW3H4cDYCO
12/20
2017
So nice of the #Seahawks to remind the fans at home to turn off their TVs and spend time with family.
12/17
2017
when I die sprinkle my body in lukewarm la croix. i wish to die ... as i livedMy dog https://t.co/dgPAT1N7fqWhoever runs for president in 2020, can I be your social media campaign manager? I'm half joking.No internet VS slow internet. https://t.co/1TIR4Jh2JJ
12/15
2017
America yesterday versus this America this morning https://t.co/4M3MgBWLvxWell, that was quick. https://t.co/7PP2Ijkllg
12/14
2017
the USA right now https://t.co/DfVFvx1vON
12/13
2017

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