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Woman, writer, wife to @KaylaPekkala. Currently: (shrug emoji). Past: Senior staff writer at @Upworthy. I wish the @Cubs would let me throw out a 1st pitch.

1,842 Following   131,463 Followers   27,200 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/13/12

“Poisonous Synthetic Heroin Fentanyl” is a decent band name, but maybe a bit longI am a party animal.
Retweeted by Parker Molloy.@lachlan has a good explainer of the #Resistance grifters who are rudely spamming him with shirtless photos instea…
Retweeted by Parker MolloyShe can chair the House Space Force Committee WTF Jr's Instagram comments—people creating conspiracy theories over having bad internet connections
Retweeted by Parker Molloya friendly reminder!
Retweeted by Parker Molloy @johnlk1980 @michaelkruse But it's not. The post specifically says that Cohn denied being gay. Of course he never r…, it’s 2018.What on earth is this, @michaelkruse? @runningfool75 @ebruenig @goldietaylor Hey thanksImagine going into work and being like, "Hold on, before we begin, I have to rage post about my enemies for 6 hours"Meanwhile I'm over here like "Can't get yelled at by your boss if you don't have a boss" hey, it's not like the presidency is an important job that requires you to actually pay attention to work or anythingI'm willing to bet that most people who tweet during the work day about personal stuff as much as Trump does would…
Retweeted by Parker Molloy @DamagedHells2 @MollyJongFast She's a birther.The call is coming from inside the house, lady thrive off of the angry white men in the replies
Retweeted by Parker Molloy @MattGertz‘geishas who will debate me and ultimately lose, while providing cheap food’ = the ~progressive~ man’s ideal
Retweeted by Parker MolloyAnother night spent handling his own saber also read @wphillips49's article: you listen to one episode of @anamariecox's @crooked_friends podcast, make it last week's with @wphillips49 disc… 90 minutes, she held a sign that read: "Johnny Russell, it's my 9th birthday!" Then, this. 😭
Retweeted by Parker MolloyAt @nytimes Twitter: @MattGertz out this great campaign and fundraiser for @onetailatatime's ISO facility by @RescueInStyle called Strong Bit…
Retweeted by Parker Molloy typo in this tweet @MattGertz 2T, 1L 1. Trump got into an argument with Vietnam vets about the movie Apocalypse Now 2. Kimberly Guil… I think I’ll go to sleep at a reasonable time Me at 1am:
Retweeted by Parker Molloy @MattGertz @OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt Which, of course, is flawed because we all know the Sesame Street Count was getting it @OhNoSheTwitnt My theory: 2016, I mocked Weird Mike @Cernovich & his #Pizzagate conspiracy theories/lies in a series of comical videos. He…
Retweeted by Parker Molloy sure a Councel is someone who can’t get laid because he’s a count isn’t truth. Councel isn’t counsel.Chicago reminder: Friday at @BookCellar, I'm talking Obama oral history w/ @RobynElyse. I know she'll ask about why…
Retweeted by Parker MolloyYou also make money whipping idiots up into a frenzy over made-up conspiracies you endorse. I don't monetize lies f…
Retweeted by Parker MolloyAnd I issued exactly one correction while I was there, because whatever my political viewpoint, I got my facts righ…
Retweeted by Parker Molloyare men ........... . okay
Retweeted by Parker Molloy god too much’s beautiful, @KaylaPekkala is only a couple hundred followers away from 5,000. She’d like to get to 10,000 (she thinks that… tried my best today. I'll do it again tomorrow. 👩‍🎨Today, I am thankful for a very low-key, relaxing weekendMe 👩🏻: [starts getting ready for bed, winding down for the night] My brain 🧠: [tune of Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”]…, but when he eventually gets those powers, he'll probably regret giving away his secret identity in a 2018 ABC… @lucydoggo @kenklippenstein @KyleKulinski 17.8% of all insurance premiums go to administrative costs (source:… @SimonMaloy @leilaclaire @OhNoSheTwitnt I have way too many Ben Garrison cartoons saved on my phone @leilaclaire @OhNoSheTwitnt a little more smoother tool @MeetThePress This is a terrible response. internet has been building to this moment @kellyawallace Exactly. I’m pretty sure that 99% of the people who make that point have absolutely no idea what the…“Psh! You can’t compare the U.S. to Denmark! We’ve got more people!” Same people: “Venezuela is proof that any pol… of love all the people who argue that you can’t point to places where welfare state policies are working becau… 🧠: “Yeah, we colluded with Russia to try to win the election” Normal 🧠: “No collusion. Witch hunt!” Expanding… happened again.
Don Truixote @marie_donigan “On background” means it can’t be attributed to the person saying it. “Off the record” means that th… @3662brendon He was definitely in on itBruno the Standing Cat takes in a play, Ford’s Theatre, April 1865 @LonelyEyes5 When have I *ever* supported the GOP?, if that’s a thing they actually believe... are for grandpa. We eat ass now.
Retweeted by Parker Molloy @yashar It’s 2018: I’ll believe just about anything is possible if not likely