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The one and only fake women's news magazine. Our book, How to Win at Feminism, is on sale now: https://t.co/PeSugZ3z22

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Joined Twitter 1/14/13


Wow! This Woman Got a Haircut and Didn’t Cry Until She Was Out of the Salon! https://t.co/xb3mAiyQbw https://t.co/kAIBEw0w4pHow To Say ‘I Miss You’ By Posting a Hot Photo of You At The Beach: https://t.co/Tt9de6WkuB https://t.co/MdUouVnvKUWoman Worries July 4th Trip Will Be Misunderstood as an Endorsement of USA: https://t.co/F1bMg9yug1 https://t.co/4fQCOVbOaeWoman Finally Finds a Gym Without Creepy Men – Oh Wait Nevermind: https://t.co/e8LushilQ7 https://t.co/XDBpd7fzi4Woman Has Unrealistic Standards On How Late She Can Leave for Work: https://t.co/b65Xzlnqj7 https://t.co/fxLL3svxsNStraight Couple Has Audacity To Fuck During Pride Month: https://t.co/1p5LkWppBM https://t.co/3Gu8gwCoht‘No, I Don’t Work Here,’ Says Shopping Black Woman, Again: https://t.co/vOUrpES8jS https://t.co/Itjit6xZWFSkincare Hack! Exfoliate Your Whole Body By Sleeping in Crumbs: https://t.co/Fe8I5bTXT4 https://t.co/yJNp1XnEPxCool! This Man Only Hears Words Hot Women Say: https://t.co/timVKSD71M https://t.co/YMm0CF7wXHWhite Woman Speaks: Black Women Not Aging at the Same Rate as Me is Reverse Racism https://t.co/IAYwJVrb4G https://t.co/boAK5mJX6HHow to Lose Weight So You Can Spend Every Waking Moment In Fear of Gaining It Back: https://t.co/WipALy4cho https://t.co/8aJo1ZQn5F
6/24
2018
Uh-Oh, Georgia Put Jokes In Her PowerPoint: https://t.co/FdBRj7jflI https://t.co/2pdrrubzvySkincare Hack! Exfoliate Your Whole Body By Sleeping in Crumbs: https://t.co/7cv3OK8BTX https://t.co/aGIT9xagXJWow! This Woman Got a Haircut and Didn’t Cry Until She Was Out of the Salon! https://t.co/hEAJUOXXR2 https://t.co/8iuViWaHxA‘No, I Don’t Work Here,’ Says Shopping Black Woman, Again: https://t.co/fRKW9uJdAv https://t.co/r1DkHSnLDRWow! This White Woman Went to a Protest Without Posting a Selfie: https://t.co/yOGmdR11XX https://t.co/2TsVAIW0yq‘My Hair Just Dries Like This,’ Says Woman Who is Lying: https://t.co/w0NqxoxVYQ https://t.co/jqf4ap18scCool! This Man Only Hears Words Hot Women Say: https://t.co/4Eg8kT26wc https://t.co/CJNx4HBtPdWoops! This Black Woman Mentioned Edge Control and Now Her White Friends Think She’s Into Freaky Sex:… https://t.co/aG701CRYb84 Dating App Profile Cliches You Can Ignore if He Has a Dog: https://t.co/chgyQ1oY0c https://t.co/fezd1nh8atWoman Has Unrealistic Standards On How Late She Can Leave for Work: https://t.co/gSgzLlMFCL https://t.co/7HlGhkDM4VDon’t Cry Because It’s Over, Smile Because A Man on the Street Told You To! https://t.co/SM9gnfkHAN https://t.co/cvjq1tjIVzWhite Woman Speaks: Black Women Not Aging at the Same Rate as Me is Reverse Racism https://t.co/QPm5CuTGSl https://t.co/vxZzXEfuDZ
6/23
2018
How To Sigh to Let Your Coworkers Know You Got Railed Last Night: https://t.co/WkwSZiC54j https://t.co/RGuvCBVj8vHow To Say ‘I Miss You’ By Posting a Hot Photo of You At The Beach: https://t.co/BJrYHfeGKv https://t.co/3v6FAsyL2XBrave! This Woman Actually Thinks About Her Husband While Masturbating: https://t.co/XVnuFarj7f https://t.co/rbiARKCo07‘I’ll Have To Check That Show Out!’ Says Woman Who Has Already Forgotten The Title: https://t.co/O8eL45nCY6 https://t.co/o6smBswKSbAww! This Friend Only Reaches Out When You’re Doing Better Than Her: https://t.co/SEHigpoIuc https://t.co/xl9fm5ye2kHow to Become So Great A Leader That Men Almost Respect You: https://t.co/XTKHO83vUe @thebreaknetflix https://t.co/59cg3bdO3kWoman Has Unrealistic Standards On How Late She Can Leave for Work: https://t.co/KK9GopuX65 https://t.co/8KPVDZ8pumI Thought I Was Totally Straight. Then I Discovered Funky-Patterned Short-Sleeve Button-Ups.:… https://t.co/FPFIY8J0rW‘No, I Don’t Work Here,’ Says Shopping Black Woman, Again: https://t.co/1WfW4n8i7T https://t.co/og8h1MUshYCool! This Man Only Hears Words Hot Women Say: https://t.co/fdzxEIGnjV https://t.co/eOwZaGiXHfDon’t Cry Because It’s Over, Smile Because A Man on the Street Told You To! https://t.co/0PnDY7C51M https://t.co/LmBV7RL9uKWhite Woman Speaks: Black Women Not Aging at the Same Rate as Me is Reverse Racism https://t.co/vyS8Lnqz4T https://t.co/rpUFfxNcHyI Don’t Want Children Because I Am Perfectly Fulfilled Raising My Boyfriend: https://t.co/Y62fgNkOJZ https://t.co/i3U2RqWgZn
6/22
2018
Wait, get out! Sasheer Zamata (SNL) is performing at our Industry City show tonight? Better get your tickets now!: https://t.co/Krinf1BinxAnna Drezen (SNL) will be dishing out the laughs at our Industry City show tonight! Hurry, t's not too late to get… https://t.co/StXuLSFMAjLarry Owens (TruTV), a living legend, is performing at our Industry City show tonight! Be there or be square, get y… https://t.co/5TLggPS7b1Samantha Ruddy (Comedy Central) will be at our show at Industry City tonight...will you? Tickets are selling fast,… https://t.co/vy2t1IwynEOverachiever Alert! This Woman Sent Two Emails Today: https://t.co/rh9YAod66n https://t.co/xzM8hJebxMWoman Has Unrealistic Standards On How Late She Can Leave for Work: https://t.co/7MdeMTxpsT https://t.co/iSzlLKyzhnMoon Looks Cool Tonight, According to Boring Date: https://t.co/abfEVyh6uH https://t.co/020nR8bGHmYour Vibe Attracts Your Tribe, So I Guess These Pigeons Are Here to Stay: https://t.co/Sl7pbECsvA https://t.co/dVO5hNy0r0Hero Woman Leaves Sephora Without Buying Anything: https://t.co/R1K0vHuQR6 @thebreaknetflix https://t.co/ioaVpO5J5vBrave! This Woman Actually Thinks About Her Husband While Masturbating: https://t.co/CuEOTkoqx7 https://t.co/pnNJfwaWWi‘I’ll Have To Check That Show Out!’ Says Woman Who Has Already Forgotten The Title: https://t.co/kvSPe65noH https://t.co/F5WXmYVScYI Lived It: Someone Took the Stall Next to Me Even Though There Were Others Available https://t.co/4olg2fEty8 https://t.co/6LvpNa3XYbAww! This Friend Only Reaches Out When You’re Doing Better Than Her: https://t.co/w0hvb064Qd https://t.co/pmi3lXvuWWWoman Finally Finds a Gym Without Creepy Men – Oh Wait Nevermind: https://t.co/xTCITal55H https://t.co/2uk9yHtCJiI Don’t Want Children Because I Am Perfectly Fulfilled Raising My Boyfriend: https://t.co/cXEvBH7qdD https://t.co/JKBppH1ivnI Thought I Was Totally Straight. Then I Discovered Funky-Patterned Short-Sleeve Button-Ups.:… https://t.co/nYGln1X5PT
6/21
2018
‘I’ll Have To Check That Show Out!’ Says Woman Who Has Already Forgotten The Title: https://t.co/DUFcjyaHPo https://t.co/jDUq0ZGlYpReductress presents VERY HOT OUTSIDE! TOMORROW at Industry City! Don't miss this SWEATY comedy show featuring… https://t.co/TokmdofaAGHow To Sigh to Let Your Coworkers Know You Got Railed Last Night: https://t.co/kyjNprCMYY https://t.co/c7agDVd29MCraig Manning Still Doing it For Us: https://t.co/FdOc7oPVf5 https://t.co/qOmdiDpAGOWoman Wrestling With Which Exclamation Point to Sacrifice in This Email: https://t.co/KufWdIKXx6 https://t.co/Z5KGMD83qFWow! This Man Doesn’t Have a Podcast: https://t.co/ZlQraVxVKH https://t.co/2F1ip4sZmESkincare Hack! Exfoliate Your Whole Body By Sleeping in Crumbs: https://t.co/QggR1LBhX5 https://t.co/L1rreiWprZThe Best Luxury Gyms To Just Take a Poop and a Shower In: https://t.co/KzgJMAaodX @thebreaknetflix https://t.co/EcN5grxcdlI Thought I Was Totally Straight. Then I Discovered Funky-Patterned Short-Sleeve Button-Ups.:… https://t.co/BTEp1ITk34Wow! This White Woman Went to a Protest Without Posting a Selfie: https://t.co/giaSaqk3Qf https://t.co/8q6DLuGJZ5I Don’t Want Children Because I Am Perfectly Fulfilled Raising My Boyfriend: https://t.co/1CI7Nn5F1O https://t.co/HK4TmlrgSPWord ‘Dude’ Reserved For Most Serious Arguments: https://t.co/CTGWvWLqSg https://t.co/6S6WQJophkStraight Couple Has Audacity To Fuck During Pride Month: https://t.co/Hw1lBsRSik https://t.co/6s9JabGFcHWow! This Woman Was a Childhood Double Dutch Champion But Can’t Jump Into This Conversation: https://t.co/LR3bpj6Nb7 https://t.co/UkxM8CuDz0The next Reductress NYC satire writing workshop is coming up on June 25 - sign up now: https://t.co/8Wwukgu3YS https://t.co/j97DQ3HYYV
Retweeted by ReductressCelebrate Juneteenth by Venmoing All Your Black Friends $50: https://t.co/tVr8qR6cbs https://t.co/G1g7lke2nO
6/20
2018
‘I’ll Have To Check That Show Out!’ Says Woman Who Has Already Forgotten The Title: https://t.co/frfNr6HIS2 https://t.co/6cbBdfzO1N4 Ways to Upgrade Your Tinder Profile, Even Though You’re Pretty Sure This Will All Be Over Soon:… https://t.co/qw9HGte91LOverachiever Alert! This Woman Sent Two Emails Today: https://t.co/qUYWGcdIPU https://t.co/3n2RLzC9YAI Don’t Want Children Because I Am Perfectly Fulfilled Raising My Boyfriend: https://t.co/ALntTyfLkj https://t.co/spiBwTz68WBlack Woman Realizing Her Mom Has Finally Become One of Her Little Friends on the Street https://t.co/NNWLtFH4Ij https://t.co/lEwh9GvkUTComplex Summer Braids to Sculpt Your Upper Arms: https://t.co/LiaE74NOb5 @thebreaknetflix https://t.co/Pn7HmvpFi6Celebrate Juneteenth by Venmoing All Your Black Friends $50: https://t.co/5pOgO1AcEz https://t.co/xH5qFfOxt5Finally! This Woman Found a Man that Doesn’t Look Like Every Member of Her Family: https://t.co/1r9nToeT7k https://t.co/Qo70QE8HBxStraight Couple Has Audacity To Fuck During Pride Month: https://t.co/OGiPdTJNAg https://t.co/st0pbhozdgWoman Finally Finds a Gym Without Creepy Men – Oh Wait Nevermind: https://t.co/dYkXPQ9EM4 https://t.co/miW6QPo803I Thought I Was Totally Straight. Then I Discovered Funky-Patterned Short-Sleeve Button-Ups.:… https://t.co/CP7VwWmjVX
6/19
2018

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