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Author - Playwright - Publisher - Radio Presenter - Occasional Runner - Postcarder at http://t.co/I3C42GmNt2

407 Following   546 Followers   30,324 Tweets

Join Twitter 9/27/09

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Nothing quite like going in to a situation armed with the knowledge of experience.Had a great chat with Chris and the team at @PDQProperty this morning, thanks all.@PDQProperty I can, I'll be there just after 11am. Shouldn't be too long.
7/22
2014
@Mikeyukhc @SpacemanSonic As long as you keep getting out, that's the key. Little and not often is better than never.@PDQProperty Hi Chris, when's the best time to pop in and see you? I have house related questions.Mrs L's uncle really is called Bob.For those watching ch4, I'm a troop sgt in the Army and have kids like these under my care, it's bloody challenging at times.
Retweeted by Terry LanderHere is chapter eighteen of #squattingforcompliments. It's called "A Crack in the M25" http://t.co/TEdM8MNMAD
Retweeted by Terry Lander@wiggywalsh Ta v. much!@Mikeyukhc Not bad thanks, did Plymouth Half and Tuff Enuff this year. That @SpacemanSonic is coming with me to Tough Mudder next year. You?@wiggywalsh Any chance of a mention for http://t.co/cSSggDus0g? My brother has no idea he's partaking but we need some more postcards.@elisjames You get around. Last time I saw you was in @Roisinconaty's bed.@mrkhndy @transcribr I like your style, the way you just do it.@mrkhndy @transcribr Looks like another Cease and Desist to me.I was going to do something with this to advertise @transcribr. But I did something else instead. http://t.co/8mp1ceUxYG
Retweeted by Terry LanderI've just ordered an egg and a chicken off eBay. I'll keep you posted. :)
Retweeted by Terry LanderGood shout by @wiggywalsh on People Just Do Nothing #BBCThree, hilarious stuff.Only one view today. Boo. http://t.co/QZESLueky5Have the kids got any ideas on how we can get Tulisa off of drugs? Gouge out our eyes, maybe?@NickDoody @RufusHound Does anyone know where I left my...never mind.I know a lot of people have been wondering and I can confirm that, no, I don't have an Edinburgh show. #Fringe@adamhess1 ha ha u r gaay #AdvancedLevelTrollingHappy 50th birthday, Ryu! http://t.co/zkhy9BYAJy
Retweeted by Terry LanderI think Schrödinger’s Cat may have shat in my garden, but it may not have.Occam's razor. Sometimes it's easier just to cut yourself. (DO NOT EVER CUT YOURSELF, OBVIOUSLY)
7/21
2014
This is no way to read books http://t.co/OoLXrEDHooI always wanted to be in a band and tour but a lack of talent made this fairly difficult.Just watching the Sound City documentary from last night as approved by @JesusSpider - it's stuff like this that made me write Banned.Ex girlfriend just wrote "Happy Birthday" on my Facebook Wall... still got it ;)
Retweeted by Terry Lander@Fi_Mad I love the unintended insinuation of this Tweet. "Just dropped my diamond ring in my champagne and it spilled on my Guccis, #FML"@MrPage303 Remember, the notices aren't for the sensible people. There are people who don't understand why a kettle is too much for trains.@MrPage303 Well...I hope you don't mind me saying that you look better for it.I got an e-mail from a Nigerian Prince today. It's nice when international tribute acts take the time to drop you a line.
Retweeted by Terry Lander@nuwawepapou I'm a spam account, sorry about that."Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I'm presuming that you fell from heaven here, apologies if you didn't" #AdjustedChatUpLines"If I was re-aarranging the alphabet I'd stop to spend some time with you" #AdjustedChatUpLines@BBCSporf If David Beckham had a Geoff Hurst T-Shirt on that would be a perfect photo.@BiscuitAhoy Tch. As if.In 2012, I interviewed @jamesstarsailor. Here is what happened. http://t.co/5tfxU3h1sM
Retweeted by Terry LanderHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MI HERMANO (MI OIDO) http://t.co/QZESLueky5
7/20
2014
@almurray Could be rolling out as it's used, pastry style.For sale, £10 in Helston http://t.co/M9ZDVrg2Q3For sale, £10 in Helston http://t.co/UuSMpkLINa
7/19
2014
@tinksaid @taylertoons Ah, I couldn't have done it without you guys@SpacemanSonic You're right. I'll give it a go, see how it feels.I can *so* tell when it's a pity favourite. Totes.@SpacemanSonic Our kids are dairy intolerant so on the soya milk. Might feel hypocritical.@SpacemanSonic BLOCKEDYou also get a house! In CORNWALL! That you can live in when I'm dead.You choose the book, obviously.Any wealthy types keen to be my landlord? I have a glowing reference from my current LL, genuine reason for having to move house. Free book.@thismademecool iPod?@JesusSpider Guaranteed you'll know all the songs #ArwelsSecretShame@Nissemus ...yet somehow they think it's the fault of the staff. Ludicrous.It takes longer to get served in restaurants these days because customers are idiots http://t.co/M7ofQDgrah
Retweeted by Terry LanderWe don't want to brag...but our venue totally has aircon...#phringe
Retweeted by Terry LanderThe more copies of Kama Slumber bought at @Waterstones this month, the less I have to move across town http://t.co/O6sRfizN0AThanks to @new_toon @MooseAllain @tinksaid @taylertoons @HealeyCartoons @scallyg et al for contributions. I won! http://t.co/cSSggDus0g@DannyJohnJules Hi Danny, I won http://t.co/cSSggDus0g! Still need postcard contributions from talented people though. Could you RT please?I spent an hour shouting at my keys for not being a bottle of port but it did no good.3333 viewers so far, number fans. http://t.co/cSSggDus0gOh, and don't forget to help fund my book if you think it looks interesting! 20% by end of week maybe? :) http://t.co/FmavJxZ4Rf
Retweeted by Terry LanderAccidentally asked for a double instead of a return at the station. Now I'll be known as The Drinker. It's better than Flies Undone, I guess
Retweeted by Terry Lander
7/18
2014
"My own son going on his first date. Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset, Cats and the cradle and the silver spoon. Yes, we have no bananas"
Retweeted by Terry LanderThe world would be much more interesting if there were those blue plaques in places where people lost their virginity
Retweeted by Terry LanderIf I established a large town I'd call it O.B. City.Or something like that.I'ma blog winning writer. http://t.co/cSSggDus0g
7/17
2014
A little reminder: @ClareEYoung: New short story! Woooo Snowdrift: http://t.co/lrYBDMj6f5 #free #freeebook #ebook #shortstory
Retweeted by Terry LanderDetermined to stop smoking. Mate said "Try the E things." Still puffing away but now can't stop dancing.
Retweeted by Terry LanderRespect to colleague @petersbeaumont who witnessed horror today in Gaza, helped where he could, and reported. http://t.co/QJ4uJw0N59
Retweeted by Terry Lander@thecurlz Ah, the cafe bikes. Fond memories.
7/16
2014
@TiernanDouieb @guardian ...binoculars, obviously. #TwatSales have been damn good recently. Summer loves books #BOOKS@TiernanDouieb @guardian ...or Robbie Coltrane's new telescope.I'm @WaterstonesTRU for the #holyerangof publishing awards. You can hear about it tomorrow afternoon @BBCCornwall http://t.co/ZndWKmjPXz
Retweeted by Terry LanderBig news for those who aren't up to date with http://t.co/cSSggDus0g
7/15
2014
Is this the kind of thing you're into? No idea why we've gof them but we won't watch them. http://t.co/LalDergeulIs this the kind of thing you're into? No idea why we've gof them but we won't watch them. http://t.co/r9Tk5llu8nTop tip: for a change serve the kids "mermaids" - sausages cut in half and stuck to fish fingers.
Retweeted by Terry LanderIf five of you follow @tew1984 he's promised* to take all of his clothes off for charity. (*but not really)"Die Nationalmannschaft" writes all it's own jokes.@ThePoke Only one place he can go from here. Boom chicka wah wah.@OhLookBirdies Acceptable exclamations when there are children around?Iain Duncan Smith is not bothered if he gets sacked by David Cameron. He can always go back to his old job. http://t.co/biMErDEfcO
Retweeted by Terry LanderSex wizard
Retweeted by Terry LanderGod made HAROLD Bishop, not HARRIET Bishop.
Retweeted by Terry LanderPlease RT - The real winning comes when 5,000 people have seen this #blog http://t.co/cSSggDus0g@MrPage303 Ah, one of those. Hmmm.@MrPage303 Jesus, I hate to see families not getting on but some people deserve a good ignoring. Him, not you :)@MrPage303 Oh. Definitely not good. How long ago was his wedding?@crowmogh We got it sorted in the end but I have nothing but praise for you teachers, hardest job in the world.@crowmogh We've had the same treatment as the parents of bullied children,I've taken things into my own hands before.Not good but necessary.@MrPage303 I thought he'd be in touch a lot more often than he was in all honesty.just incase the media "forget" to tell you, starting tomorrow there are 8 days of #firefighter strikes. please take extra care
Retweeted by Terry LanderElepants. (These are hand drawn cartoons, you can buy them from my website if you like) http://t.co/Yhdh9XvFg6
Retweeted by Terry Lander@crowmogh I'm amazed at how many parents back their disruptive children rather than applying discipline. Unbelievable.My week on twitter: - Lost: seven days. - Gained: absolutely fuckall.
Retweeted by Terry Lander@MrPage303 Ta v. much. Just waiting for the prize money now.Doesn't matter what I buy, everyone else's basket in the supermarket looks better than mine.
7/14
2014
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