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@lizbaker_08 and, an month later I respond! Hello Liz! I am the world's worst tweeter.@TheIrishJesus sorry, just saw this. Haven't been on much lately! How can I help?@Yeyo2Zuri Was so happy to see you on here! "Find friends" button really does work sometimes. How are youuuuuuu?

Women are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. They’re going to want padding.
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If you can spot the error in this baby book, congrats! You're one step ahead of every person who… http://t.co/64S84iHpaY@nwfoodette I rarely visit Twitter, but since discovering @80sDonDraper, I'm here regularly. My fave, hands down.

@janawaring Hope your wedding is fabulous and stress-free!

After they get suspect, I propose 24 hours of kittens frolicking to Benny Hill music on all channels.
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperDoes anyone know a good site where I can get a rapid flow of misinformation and unconfirmed reports coming in too fast to process?
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperI don't even know what to say, except I'm thankful for the brave people who protect us. Let's nab this asshole. #Boston

The word "unspeakable" comes up exclusively in Real Housewives' reunions & holocaust docs
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Try to beat me! My Ruzzle username is 'MaisyF'. @ruzzlegame http://t.co/1lXsaDzubH

Need some home decorating tips? I wrote a story about what NOT to do. http://t.co/oBH3cXJPfG

If you haven't attempted mascara application while holding a sick baby, you haven't lived. #raccooneyes

@janawaring Whoa. That is amazing!

My almost 1-yr-old daughter just pulled out a wicked booty tooch during a photo. America's Next Top Model, cycle 1562?

My TV just asked me if I wanted to watch #Hoarders in HD. Ehh, I think I'll pass on that.@TaylorArmstrong People who don't return carts at grocery store, instead leaving them to scratch up everyone's car. So irritating.It's winter in New England. Snow is what happens. But, damn, I sure am ready to wear something on my feet besides Sorels.

Who knew Coolio was such an asshole? #CelebrityWifeSwapYou'd think Coolio would get sick of cutting all those little holes in his hats. #CelebrityWifeSwap

Currently conducting a science experiment to see how little sleep I can survive on without ending up in a mental ward. #momproblems

Stunned at how much food an 11-month-old baby can put away in one sitting. Probably more than a Hollywood actress eats in a week.To be clear, the margarita night was without the kids. #foggytweetsThe morning after a rare margarita night with preschooler and a baby = #momproblems

However, @YourHouseGal is the best. Cannot say enough about someone who knows their biz inside and out but also has awesome sense of humor.Looking for a house; wish the #propertybrothers could help. They always do the best house makeovers. Boston is expensive, yo.

#FF our RN crew! @ChelsiaHart @branden628 @janawaring @spicypants @MerriPatt @CharlieToft @Maisy_F @JunDishes @eorlins #RealityTV
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TV is on in background, and I wasn't paying attention to it until I heard the words "Mexican restaurant." Now I'm hungry.

MT @accu_adrienne: Boston's seasonal snow total climbed to 40.8". (That's more than 4 times the 2011-2012 total which was 9.3")
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Day 4 of husband's work trip. Alone with baby, 3 yr old, two dogs. Snowstorm outside. It's survival of the fittest, and I am the underdog.Muriel's Wedding is such a good flick. Love Toni Colette, and miss her awesomeness on United States of Tara.

I'm so glad it's snowing again! And by "glad," I mean I'm considering opening a bottle of wine at 6:46 am.

You're No. 2 #CandyHeartRejectsNevermind. #CandyHeartRejectsSurprise! I forgot my wallet. #CandyHeartRejectsSorry I gave you the clap. #CandyHeartRejectsU R NOT the father! #CandyHeartRejects

@snooki's was little blue, but don't worry, mamacita. You are rockin' out this mama biz. http://t.co/fZxb19To via @reality_nation

Buried. #blizzard http://t.co/AQ9qb3hNIs it too early to start drinking? #blizzard http://t.co/lxGNJZNQ

Blizzard-y goodness.

Tip: If you want your baby to nap, don't accidentally zip up two shapes from the shape sorter in her pjs. #momproblems

Lady outside was walking her cat on leash. Cat said eff this, pulled leash out of lady's hand and ran off. Raise hand if surprised.

“@breakingweather: Current wind chill is down to an incredible -80.4F in Rankin Inlet, Canada.” Holy sh*t!

Ear plugs and hearing aids were inventions of necessity, likely sparked by someone who raised young boys. Boys = Noise covered in dirt.

Hey, #RealityTV....we have some New Year's Resolutions for you! http://t.co/jVWpuqvb #NYE
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Anyone else need a hot poker for their eyes after watching #RHOA?!? http://t.co/5NSQfoSV
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@nwfoodette Pancakes with fresh fruit and ten gallons of coffee for the adults. Merry Christmas!

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
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@bowtiedtight I wish! Post pics. I have to see the sweaters.I've always wanted to be invited to an ugly Christmas sweater party. Is that weird? #bucketlist

Just dreamt I opened a dog sitting service for all the #realhousewives. First client: @giggythepom. Need RH intervention ASAP.

@spicypants haha, thanks! It's hard not to be embarrassed for them most weeks.

Santa Clause sits on Chuck Norris' lap.
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperWould I like cheese on that? "No thank you."
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I hope everyone enjoys & appreciates their family & friends today & always! Tweet less & enjoy your company:-) #HappyThanksgiving
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Maryland overwhelmingly votes to legalize same sex marriage. I wish Omar was here to see this.
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Daylight savings time means that kids gain an extra hour and parents lose one. Plus it's dark at 4? Eff this noise.

Fun size candy bars are much more fun when multiplied by four.

I would like to ban the use of lol unless you are actually LAUGHING OUT LOUD which is so very rare.
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"Everyone in the path of the hurricane should head to their second or third homes for safety." #RomneyStormTips
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraper"what if gangnam style was really a giant raindance and we brought this hurricane on ourselves?"
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperHurricanes make me feel barfy. #SandyIf you shaved off Chuck Norris' beard, you would find a tatoo of an identical beard underneath.
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperChuck Norris wipes before he shits.
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperIt's gnarly on the east coast. It feels worse than Irene did. Battery park is already in water & the bay in sag harbor looks like ocean.
Retweeted by MaisyFernandezDraperRHOM: Adriana Smacks Joanna's Model Face - Reality Nation: http://t.co/OSaY8E0W via @reality_nation

Unicorns used to be as common as squirrels, until one of them gave Chuck Norris the finger.
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Whoa. There are some terrible hip-hop tats on this site. WTF is this??? http://t.co/WBTvrGGi

@JoeyJWagner I charge mine, like, 3x a day! It sucks!

@itsRobynwithay I should pin it, and pretend I bought it. Kind of like how I pin recipes that I never cook.@itsRobynwithay @modcloth Love!!!

I just said "Work it, Smoochie" to my baby and she started laughing hysterically. She knows what's up. #HoneyBooBoo@mariamenounos A woman after my own heart. You're awesome.

@branden628 I know! Plus, poor girl doesn't even get a damn lunch hour!

@branden628 hahahaUh, where's Harrison supposed to be through all of this? #Dexter

#SaveBigBird
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@merchgal I know. Come ON.@branden628 I'd rather see someone be bludgeoned by #Dexter!Since when do you have to eat #FearFactor type stuff on #AmazingRace? Frog fallopian tubes? Excuse me while I vom.

RHOM: Joanna Gets Ugly At The Club - Reality Nation: http://t.co/eh9Gz4ZL via @reality_nation

Watching #Survivor for the first time in a couple of seasons, and am reminded why I think camping is for the birds. Beds and food are good.

Nobody should try to cover Michael Jackson's PYT. #DWTS

If someone doesn't get murdered or have scandalous sex within the first five minutes, then it's not a #lifetime movie.

@writeousbabe no, it just looks that way in the pic. I actually lightened it yesterday.Things I never thought I'd say until I had a son: Wow! That's a really nice excavator!Things I never thought I'd say until I had a son: I can't wait to go to the construction vehicle show today!

All these goofballs trying to make a memorable entrance, but the ones who stand out will be the ones who aren't total a-holes. #bacheloretteHave you ever seen a bigger bunch of freakin' dweebs? #Bachelorette

All I can ask for on Mother's Day is a trip to Target with a 2 yr old and infant that does not result in any public spectacle. Success!

Are you there, deathbed? It's me, Maisy. #sick

@merchgal How do they keep living in this place? I'd rather sleep in my car and shower at the Y.Someone please stop me from watching #AmericanHorrorStory before bed.

Throw a Dexter Party! Shopping list: Duct tape, syringes, fake blood, key lime pie, Barbie dolls. - via @filmdotcom http://t.co/isTOypo5

"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
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I want a third hand that always has a taco in it.
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@JenMarieTorres I am still absolutely stunned that people PAY to do this. And I thought camping sucked -- sheesh!Watching Hillybilly Handfishin', which makes the Jersey Shore lifestyle seem like a perfectly reasonable way to live.