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Matthew Inman @Oatmeal seattle, wa

Truth, beauty, and unkempt chest hair.

356 Following   410,103 Followers   4,936 Tweets

Join Twitter 4/13/07

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.@neiltyson Or you could sign this instead. This print is much easier to sign than a mantis shrimp. http://t.co/pTSKzxFNEJ.@neiltyson I just bought tickets to see you in Seattle in September. If I bring my pet mantis shrimp, will you sign his tummy?
4/16
2014
Such a great tit http://t.co/Po9mYufoBgIt’s a happy Tuesday for Mr. Oatmeal. I got nominated for two Eisner Awards: http://t.co/jkD2dPPE85 I’ll be at SDCC this year, too.Still relevant, two years later. http://t.co/iGVB31dNVp #GoT@davekellett Thanks Dave!
4/15
2014
How much candy is your child drinking? http://t.co/aEja9Z2nAW via @ilovecoffeejp
4/14
2014
If you recently got a text message that said “Message not found,” that was me. I just wanted you to know I missed you lots. <3 <3Happy news: we opened up an additional day for Beat The Blerch for those of you on the wait list. https://t.co/XLpMpRzQCi
Retweeted by Matthew Inman
4/3
2014
We're trying to get @strippedfilm to #1 on iTunes today! Currently #3 doc and rising! Help spread the word! https://t.co/pDpuFXXbi0
Retweeted by Matthew Inman
4/1
2014
Also, I only draw pictures of organic, free-range penises. #environmentOh, and that last link was NSFW. Unless you work with penises for a living.Some signage I made at Emerald City Comicon http://t.co/JgMGOjWrqf
3/31
2014
the best thing I got at #ECCC was @Oatmeal drawing a cracked out giraffe dragon thing. I will love him forever. http://t.co/MlxMvEzSX3
Retweeted by Matthew Inman
3/30
2014
@Brian_Enders sure thing, he's all yours
3/26
2014
@dannysullivan Please do not refer to me as Oatmeal. I am now Oatstradamus.@Oatmeal Dude... Facebook just bought Oculus Rift... YOU CALLED IT ! http://t.co/BqsOgCSNQ5 I am now sad.
Retweeted by Matthew Inman@FraserAust hahaha, yes I am OatstradamusReminder: I’ll be at the world premiere of “Stripped” tomorrow in Hollywood.Tickets here: http://t.co/7YOdjAa01P
3/25
2014
.@NutellaUSA come be a sponsor at my @BeatTheBlerch race. I’m thinking a Nutella Slip n’ Slide at the finish line.Also, we’re still looking for sponsors for @BeatTheBlerch as well as volunteers http://t.co/DT7g7r6bne.@Derkaderka89 Yes, I’ll be at booth #402 at @emeraldcitycon this yearAlso, we’re going to add a virtual race option, so you can still get a goodie bag and run on your own time if you’d like.You can register to be on the wait list, in case some spots open up later on https://t.co/iU5vd0XYPzSOLD OUT in 29 minutes! Thanks to everyone who registered for Beat The Blerch.
3/24
2014
REMINDER: registration for the race opens up tomorrow at 9am Pacific time! Here's the link to register: https://t.co/7P6dUQAOsA
Retweeted by Matthew InmanJust finished watching "Frozen." Super pissed it didn't end with Jack Torrance in a hedge maze..@NASA QUESTION: when a screaming infant is jettisoned from your spacecraft and burns up on re-entry, is this called a baby shower?@MaryKateruns @chicrunner I can do that. Shoot an email to filter@theoatmeal.com & we’ll figure it out@allosaurus today through thursdayI can bribe you with 0.0 (zero point zero) Blerch stickers http://t.co/j1SOLiWOgJI’m headed to LA for a couple of days and was thinking about doing a quick little 5k somewhere. Any running groups wanna meet somewhere?
3/23
2014
Matthew Inman, Seattle-based web cartoonist and former fat kid, is organizing a marathon, in true comic fashion. http://t.co/KBs54ewcIX
Retweeted by Matthew InmanHow inspiration works http://t.co/R0ZkOzgQTQ
3/22
2014
RT @runnersworld: The @Oatmeal creator organizes the "Beat the Blerch" Race complete with birthday cake aid stations: http://t.co/97SmJI4I46
3/20
2014
I’m back and I wrote a Blerch book http://t.co/YUHX3x6rkH
3/19
2014
My stomach on a first date http://t.co/Lu7HhZJPGW [COMIC]@oatmeal "We won't charge you to download your race photos after the event." <-- THIS THIS THIS
Retweeted by Matthew InmanRunners, my promise to you: there will be mountains of cake and Nutella at every aid station.
Retweeted by Matthew InmanAnnouncing the 2014 Beat The Blerch 10k/half/full marathon http://t.co/P00JLI3kuZ
3/18
2014
20 things worth knowing about beer http://t.co/gBoqweJlQU (repost from 2009)Happy Leprechauno de Marcho!
3/17
2014
I wonder how many more years of owning an iPhone before it figures out that when I'm typing "just" I don't mean "Judy."The state of the weather and my face right now http://t.co/yUzAtUBrAd
3/14
2014
I'll beat the world premiere of @strippedfilm in a few weeks in Hollywood, doing a Q&A. Get your tickets here: http://t.co/7YOdjAa01P
3/13
2014
Hire me to create art for you @Charmin I will deliver the goods
Retweeted by Matthew Inman
3/8
2014
@McDougallChris awesome! Thanks dude!@McDougallChris Just wanted to confirm: ""Finally! A Voice That Sing With the Blerches of Angels!" Can I stick this blurb on of my book?
3/6
2014
he better do that chest-thumping, humming thing with DiCaprio nowSCIENCE FACT: if you weighed yourself on the moon, you’d still declare it to be a fucking liar and go eat some tasty cakes anyway.I’m rooting for gravity, cuz without it’d be all hurled into space like little piglets.shit I use Bing that’s why I haven’t won an Oscar yetWOW amazing voice from Jared Leto onstage right now #OscarsFUN MUSIC FACT: “The wind beneath my wings,” was originally written as a tribute to Luck Dragons who chase fat bullies into dumpstersSomewhere over the rainnnnbowwww … LEPRECHAUNS ARE WAITING WITH BIG ANGRY BONERSStill hoping for a surprise Oscar performance from Tilikum the friendly orca whale.jesus orca-shitting christ are we still doing the fail whale thing during a big tv night? HI TWITTER, IT'S 2006. I MISSED U, BABE.The award for best captain onboard a fucked up ship goes to Captain Phillips. Robert Redford takes the silver, Marissa Meyer, the bronze.FUN MOON FACT: If U2 were to perform on the moon, I’d still get up and go pee right now.FUN MOON FACT: If you were stand on the moon with your kids, you could totally leave them there and go get that dog you always wantedFUN MOON FACT: if you were to actually sing a song on the moon, no one could hear you because songs are illegal in outer space.BREAKING: Gravity wins best visual effects, Smaug once again snubbed, shits all over the Hubble Space TelescopeWHY ISN’T HE LEANING ON HER? http://t.co/KHN4E7DbqfBREAKING: Smaug snubbed for best makeup and costume, gets mad and shits out some dwarves.TO WEAR THAT HAT YOU MUST NARFLE THE GARTHOKIt’s cool they let him keep one of the suits from “The Mask”Congrats on your win, @Jesus_M_Christ!Best part of “Gravity:” At no point during the film did Sandra Bullock go below 50mph.BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence snubbed as Matthew McConaughey declared victor of the 86th annual Hunger Games.@reisaudio @lewiszhuo it looks so sunny and warm in that photoReminder: I'll be at Tesla Motors around 1pm in Seattle today for the "cars and coffee" event http://t.co/4vxiyVhUio
3/2
2014
FACT: When a meteoroid strikes the earth, it becomes a "meteorite." When a hemorrhoid strikes the earth, it becomes “agonizing ass pain.”"Oh, you like the new death metal album by The GrizzlyDickMurderButts? Let me queue up some Coldplay next. I think you’ll dig it" -Pandora
2/27
2014
#seattle: I'll be at this Tesla Motors event this weekend giving a short talk & handing out bumper stickers http://t.co/2R65NPx5mt
2/25
2014
I only pet organic, free-range cats.How many calories are in a drink from Starbucks? http://t.co/HnBNYGVndr via @ilovecoffeejp
2/24
2014
I’ve run the numbers on this and I firmly believe new galaxies are formed when Bill Nye’s eyebrows collide w/ Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s mustache
2/22
2014
Born to NOPE http://t.co/w99dwrzYzbBorn to Blerch http://t.co/vV6rtR9Z7t@Oatmeal "Finally! A Voice That Sing With the Blerches of Angels!"
Retweeted by Matthew Inman
2/20
2014
Seriously though, I'm writing a running/blerch book based on this comic: http://t.co/YmvFwOdAty @McDougallChris any interest in a blurb?.@McDougallChris You should blurb my book http://t.co/QMJRBtAjdq
2/19
2014
Surgeon General's Warning http://t.co/U1mPpMwVTd
2/17
2014
I wanna see a documentary about Morgan Freeman that's narrated by wild animals
2/16
2014
"My Dog: The Paradox" hardcover books are currently $5.64 on Amazon http://t.co/M6jQ5Bqy20
2/15
2014
Happy #ValentinesDay from the male angler fish http://t.co/bdOTJAVryBI have a very special Valentine's Day announcement <3 http://t.co/wNuNwSWvZt
2/14
2014
UPDATE: I'm pulling Fappy Bird from the app store, despite it being the #1 most popular ejaculating bird game in the world right now.
2/11
2014
How to take INCREDIBLE photos of your friends http://t.co/HPjkn4DuGFThe best time to drink coffee (according to science!) http://t.co/0iyNVt4hhz via @ilovecoffeejp
2/6
2014
"Fuck it. Let's read some Oatmeal comics instead." http://t.co/2wIcxksABjBREAKING: lactose intolerant grizzly bear found spraying shit all over the sidewalk.#Broncos http://t.co/vq5LN2Y4AMCan't believe they turned down Gwar for this hackSting looks different from how I rememberI'm amazed enough people follow @jcpenny for this to be a thing. It's like OH HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT WHAT MERVYNS TWEETED."When New Jersey is in ashes, you have my permission to touchdown" -MEBANETALE AS OLD AS TIME. BEAUTY AND THE ... http://t.co/LJWvwQAtQdSO MANY DROPPED BALLS. #bieber u mad?HAHA YES LET'S FUCK SOME COWS THEN DRIVE A CHEVY #advertising
2/2
2014
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