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Fred Beukema @beukema Minneapolis, MN

Struct Eng, Improv, husband/dad. || You may think that you crave true love, but it is not a game for cowards. Neither is Scrabble. - Onion horoscopes

175 Following   291 Followers   2,486 Tweets

Join Twitter 5/3/09

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@mikefotis @acmevalley "Garden of Angel Flowers" is played out. I need a new one!The Minnehaha brass bunny tried to kill me https://t.co/zMu7WhZyBm
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe reason winter lasts so long is because you jerks call early spring winter anytime there is solid precipitation.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/16
2014
@stribgillespie @dbrauer Five words, full stop, your tweet's complete.@RobinKimball - Did you confront?
4/15
2014
@chrislhayes Probably close to the percentage of same-night HBOGo watchers who are working with borrowed passwords.@josheakright Keep her away from eagles, wildlings and giant developmentally disabled stableboys.@josheakright Has Steve been looking at you funny while Bee's asleep?@RobinKimball Hopefully what's happening to MN this week doesn't happen to NYC. Had to bump back up a coat weight today.@TPM - Countdown to reveal that this is another Samsung stunt...I see Tyrion's seen Harry and the Hendersons too. #goodbyemyfriend
4/14
2014
@DanHappyFunTime same question but for movies.
4/13
2014
Love this escalator, well played. http://t.co/4Dm5VWDEea
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/12
2014
I love Colbert, but I'm unable to avoid the feeling that this is an innovative guy going to a very not-innovative job, and it bums me out.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaShe tells the stories. We improvise. @lizzo joins us on Monday, June 2nd! Tickets available online at http://t.co/aH7G1pDu6w . #mnimprov
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaMay and June Celebrity shows being announced over at @ShowXImprov today. Go ahead and give them a follow.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaMiss Olson has the gait of a woman who has given birth to a Campbell child. #Hunch
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/10
2014
@BobBensonHere No Pete?@braillewhale and a companion script that undoes it. I think there's a serious market for a "DeUpworthy" Greasemonkey script.@johnmoe and the Antepenultimate Warrior bides his time. The Preantepenultimate and Propreantepenultimate are just happy to be in line."Under the moonlight, the SERIOUS moonlight" is one of Bowie's sillier lyrics.
4/9
2014
@BethKGibbs if you win one, you and @MissMariapants should have award statuette fights.Touchless car washes: ONLY A HALF MEASURE!@leighalexander you see the seeds of the defensive partisanship in the aggressive comparisons to Mario. All so weird.Places fingertip against radio speaker: "shhhhh NPR you don't have to do sports"
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4/8
2014
Maryland legislators took $2.5 million away from local arts nonprofits and gave it to "House of Cards" http://t.co/GPQPSzLaqu
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@AlyssaRosenberg The Hound's invocation of the words of House (Omar) Little - purposeful or inadvertent reference?Only sort of a spoiler: Gotta admire Game of Thrones' commitment to bringing back several bit part actors two seasons later.@nprmonkeysee Could be a portion of them on the west coast trying to beat the time shift. Not speaking for m'self, you understand.Via @poniewozik: "It really overburdened the system when Obamacare began allowing children to stay on their parents' HBO GO until age 26."
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSo the True Detective finale was a dry run for tonight, and HBOGo will be smooth as silk, right?
4/7
2014
Happy Game of Thrones Day!
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/6
2014
Attn @kumailn RT @nprmonkeysee: “Kumail Nanjiani in SILICON VALLEY is my favorite new comedy performance in quite a while.“Kumail Nanjiani in SILICON VALLEY is my favorite new comedy performance in quite a while.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaThe best car ride ever http://t.co/0vXjt5ocGW
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaRT @WonderfulEngr When an engineer gets bored http://t.co/5DgoDHEOIG
Retweeted by Fred Beukema
4/5
2014
Wow, deep cut, @thatlevi. Nicely done.@playdash sweet. I look forward to it.
4/4
2014
@beukema I might have some happy news for you...
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaI've a spectrum of acceptable pronunciations for my name. But don't try out a bunch of different ones during one conversation. #beconsistent
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@dbrauer Oh man. It was my during-the-semester overnight that pushed Grinnell ahead of Lawrence. Students key to Grinnell appeal.@dbrauer - Dang, no Grinnell? Too bad. Good luck in the decision!@Hellendrung I suppose the same goes for the v and the r, then?@Hellendrung Chu-vurches?
4/3
2014
@kumailn Could the second and third seasons of your podcast be about Jose Chung and Home, and could I guest in via Skype?@litwille So the Targaryens have returned to the west?Can’t be coincidence that @TPM comments are out at same time they introduce sponsored content. Eh, @sullydish?
4/1
2014
http://t.co/EMQi4RovU7 How is it that I'm just now hearing about the Silicon Valley wage theft cartel case? Seems like a really big deal...
3/31
2014
If you want to feel like Ellen Ripley, put your outerwear and backpack on in a descending elevator.@AlyssaRosenberg @sepinwall - Not in a position to help, but very curious what fact needs checkin'.Holy crap. Brilliant work by Curtis and Molly. http://t.co/ByadevKboD
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaWhite people more heated over #CancelColbert than they are over Dan Snyder trying to buy us off with redskins jackets and hush money. Smh
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@PrestonParty @marcmaron - Every episode should include the guest telling the story about telling Marc about their relationship with Lorne.@AlyssaRosenberg @nprmonkeysee @tvoti @sepinwall - Is anyone doing / CAN anyone do something to archive TWOP before it goes bye-bye?Saturday's 8PM at HUGE Theater is sold out. So you better buy Monday night 8PM @ShowXImprov tickets instead!! http://t.co/8X6jBMHMgK
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3/28
2014
If Arcade Fire beats out The White Stripes tomorrow in the @TheCurrent March Music Madness everyone involved should be ashamed
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHelp out FirstTech these next couple f days and get in and buy some Apple products before they close. They need help
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@mollybackes - did the conductor explain? I'm waiting for understanding!Too bad Jack Thompson has been disbarred because Leland Yee could use a lawyer
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3/27
2014
@AlyssaRosenberg Also in the 3rd category, decreasing order: Sarandon & Robbins, Kim & Thurston, Al & Tipper. No more touchstone marriages.Some single guys walk their dogs to meet women. Some toddlers walk their dads to meet dogs.@OnanRulz Used to rate that one higher than most, but a recent rewatch lowered it for me, even as the soundtrack remains my favorite of all.@josheakright Wait, are you blocking him, or vice versa?@OnanRulz #1?
3/26
2014
@dbrauer: Looks like @ChrisWarcraft in a Jimmy Page wig.@MicrosoftHelps Just built a computer with Win7 OEM. Very proud, happy with result. Any way I could get a Win7 case badge sticker?
3/25
2014
@beukema Happy dataversary @beukema.
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaNine years ago tonight, I went on a wonderful first date with a cool lady at the Chatterbox. Hooray for @MsBeukema!Tonight! I'll be performing in @ShowXImprov at @hugetheater. 8PM. Be there.
3/24
2014
@MtACast she’s just a big fan of Maytag appliances, is all.
3/22
2014
@LarsenOnFilm @filmspotting - the steamboat from FitzcarraldoTKDA is seeking an AutoCAD Civil 3D expert for our municipal group. Is this you? http://t.co/v0YVdvR7lQ
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3/21
2014
I rarely post videos, but this Louis CK/Bradley Cooper clip is very, very funny. https://t.co/YwJunJMyAi
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaHey @nvidia - just built a system with a Gigabyte GeForce GTX 660. Any chance I could get an Nvidia case badge sticker for it?
3/20
2014
I talked w/ .@thatlevi for his .@pratsofparent podcast about improv, music, engineering and parenting! http://t.co/bC3hjX7EVf. Thanks, Levi!I got to chat with the always funny & interesting @beukema for the latest podcast ep - http://t.co/UPYLeJ08d7 Listen & Tweet
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3/18
2014
Building a new PC and getting it running was way easier now than 14 years ago. Good thing, since I don't have @PeterBroadwell to help now.
3/17
2014
@MyLittleBloggie So insane I first read it as being from the MN Daily instead of @MinnPost.
3/14
2014
@MyLittleBloggie He has been utterly cowardly on this issue.
3/13
2014
Something's wrong if Louie Gohmert is the reasonable guy in the room. http://t.co/yaWlzh25N5@AlyssaRosenberg Is there a URL we can bookmark/toss into a feed for all your WashPo stuff?@johnmoe Retelling of Pinocchio in which title character is walker boy, Gepetto is Governor. Rick as Honest John. #walkingdeadstorylinesThe fact that the Abe Lincoln line is written as a full sentence cracks me up for some reason. http://t.co/Rbg82GBO5m
3/12
2014
@playdash I've got a team, but all are busy, full-time-working parents. Sorry!@playdash So bummed there's no MN game this year.@AlyssaRosenberg @washingtonpost Yeah, your new crop of commenters is the one thing I dislike about your move.I went to bed last night and the world was a very normal place. I woke up, and Barack Obama was on Between Two Ferns: http://t.co/Bbnim4myUV
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3/11
2014
@chrislhayes - Not as unheard of as the media seems to be treating it: http://t.co/aDvooXGBzR@LarsenOnFilm @filmspotting @phillipstribune I'm going to make a guess: Pit! desk bell?@AlyssaRosenberg 1 quibble: you say Marty & Rust weren't curious about Tuttle's interest in taking case away. Rust totally was! (2/2)@AlyssaRosenberg - Liked your piece on TD finale; was somewhat disappointed by its shrugging off of themes it brought up so vividly. (1/2)
3/10
2014
This is so important. http://t.co/3RJ2zUHSWp
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaLooking for your next opportunity? Check out our new job postings at http://t.co/hLYAecFyJp
Retweeted by Fred Beukema@majornelson Big Stan, from the Season 1 Pig/Elephant episode. #freecodefridayHey CNN website, if you're putting up a story only in a video format, you may as well be writing it in Sanskrit & tossing it off a cliff.
Retweeted by Fred Beukema!!! RT @jonostrower: Don Draper is D.B. Cooper? My head might explode. http://t.co/py9IMxwuwJ
Retweeted by Fred BeukemaSometimes teaching your 8 year old how to play Mega Man on NES is the perfect night. #8bitdad
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3/7
2014
@thatlevi @MissMariapants The problem is more widespread than you thought! http://t.co/68l2UZs8x7
3/6
2014
@MyLittleBloggie 80(!) cubic yard limit! Onerous!@thatlevi Special Agent Dale Cooper
3/5
2014
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