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Mostly nonsense, occasionally stamping out microbiological inumeracy, making food safer, and making podcasts.

783 Following   591 Followers   5,301 Tweets

Join Twitter 8/18/08

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@johnroderick Have you considered kicking that handsome dude off your podcast? He might be holding you back.
4/18
2014
@benjaminchapman My grandfather sang that to me one day. I thought he was just making it up!@benjaminchapman I think you're thinking of Mairzy Doats.@benjaminchapman I think you are thinking of Escargot."There are a couple of food safety facts in your article that you have wrong." http://t.co/wGq5qGWDuF
4/17
2014
@hotdogsladies s1e1, and in order from there. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I can't imagine watching it any other way.@lexfri 😣@benjaminchapman and that, is how you do a press release, bitches. Peer reviewed science first. Then talk about it.@lukei4655 like ANIMALS!
4/16
2014
You're good at getting the dispensers Embassy suites, just not good at filling the dispensers. #citizenfoodsafety http://t.co/psUiTcneqE@benjaminchapman @bugcounter #citizenfoodsafety I was told the meat fridge was "just cycling"...manager was informed http://t.co/JBifp1D7Z7
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@hotdogsladies does this look CLEAN to you?@johnroderick "Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers."Just finished Slaughterhouse Five. Somehow I’d never read it before. It is beautiful & more than worth its reputation.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner"Please try your best to complete your review in a timely manner." So, I'll do nothing until you remind me, ok? Ok. #fb
4/15
2014
For @benjaminchapman: http://t.co/8Im1TQjrNc"You may work here, but you’re not my mother." #citizenfoodsafety. Maybe. Funny? Eminently. http://t.co/jV40OlpXpbEWR ✈️ ORD
4/14
2014
You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse! #CalvinAndHobbes
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@johnroderick @danielpunkass Maybe his levels of compliment go to eleven?jfdickerson's photo http://t.co/LFptzwzgQM mouse footprint in butter, that doesn't seem very sanitary. #citizenfoodsafety
4/13
2014
This makes me think of @johnroderick. I'm not sure why. Maybe the beard? http://t.co/Xdh3YE8iPHYeah, you know who else had a hit TV show? Hitler.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@BSauders Flattopped condiment containers solve the problem without using an egg carton. http://t.co/bLTTwIaegH
4/12
2014
Obligatory “TSA banality of evil” tweet. I cannot funnel through their dull-witted security theater without raging at the idiocy.
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerIt was the buns, with Salmonella, in the buffet line. Old Country Buffet outbreak linked to dinner rolls. http://t.co/hYakZw4xA7
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@knit_wit OMG, and can we please stop putting "note new area code and phone number" at the bottom of all our emails too!Is there any telephone answering system where "menu options have changed" is not true? Can we just all agree to stop saying that?
4/11
2014
@hotdogsladies why I have never heard of this! This sounds positively delightful. Purchasing this forthwith, posthaste and without delay.Your Daily Lex (April 4, 2014: What the Hell, Man?), it's okay to be serious. Thanks for this one @lexfri http://t.co/317mB0DC78Just heard Letterman is taking over The Colbert Report.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner
4/10
2014
@JennyFromABlok thanks for the update Jenn. Cc: @benjaminchapmanDo you know what would be "Simply Better" French's? A cooking temperature not "no longer pink". #citizenfoodsafety http://t.co/hIAFHDGLOv@knit_wit Turns out, you have to delete all THREE index files, and then be very very very patient. Back up and running with no issues.So apparently my mail.app email database is corrupt. This is all going to turn out okay right?@lukei4655 sounds way better than what I was imagining ;)@lukei4655 is that a western porno?
4/9
2014
A number of our citizens have been swindled lately by parties claiming to be agents of the Manhattan pants company. NJ1889
Retweeted by Don Schaffner#HailHydra http://t.co/v9LZVScr5A
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerSeriously cool app for less junk mail “@GlennF: Junked mail: What comes around... | The Economist http://t.co/cwKIYDnw4eWhoops, note to self: be careful when DragonDictate is turned on. http://t.co/bPkV7A0jxxThe authors wish to thank the reviewer for carefully adding all those hyphens which make the work so so much better. Or maybe I mean so-so?@hotdogsladies @danbenjamin "How Politics Makes Us Stupid" possible B2W topic? Via @gruber http://t.co/lHSRBUfFJX"How politics makes us stupid - Vox" more like "science communication is hard". http://t.co/2b9rTy7y5H"I’m barfing; does it matter where foodborne illness happens?" @barfblog nails it. Well said, Doug. http://t.co/wh61BZmQQ2
4/8
2014
Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring Roderick on the Line. Get 10% off with offer code…wait for it…“SUPERTRAIN”! http://t.co/gcxUdQMqrO
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerFor you @benjaminchapman “@hotdogsladies: RotL, Ep. 105: "Hippie Clean" The Problem: Communication is complicated. http://t.co/OnLCSu2G0k@bugcounter I can spin one of his panels into a professional development opportunity. At the very least I can bring a #Supertrain sign.
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerAttn @ZacWZissou “@johnroderick: I am landed in Denver and am brimming over with enthusiasm for the #CWA2014 ...”
4/7
2014
“@danbenjamin: Horrified chair is horrified. @ Chuck E. Cheese's http://t.co/4xyLwdmxPW” cc: @FacesPics@BSauders @alisonannyoung @USATODAY sadly these yahoos are taking out more than themselves.Miracle health device crowdfunds $730k on Indiegogo. It might be bullshit http://t.co/1maCWJVHEf
Retweeted by Don Schaffner
4/6
2014
"Blaz Flooflux, CEO of Garnzooble Industries, is talking about wearable kittens and faxable pizzas" http://t.co/mBjIs4J1BH"CFIA Finds Cantaloupe Mostly Salmonella Free" I just wish they'd also tested them for Listeria. #fb http://t.co/gHWb83RRKcThe consequences of unsafe home canning are scary: 10-year-old boy dies of botulism linked to canned tomatoes http://t.co/yHf5myzwla
Retweeted by Don Schaffner
4/5
2014
Eating as many rocket salads as possible while in Ireland. #fb http://t.co/s3h6MFNzPD
4/4
2014
@dloehr @hotdogsladies and that makes three of us. Mostly now I want to hear him tell @johnroderick how to say his last name.@benjaminchapman @BSauders Maybe not. Lawyers, sprouters, raw milk drinkers, the innumerate. I'll talk to anyone. Even molecular biologists.@johnroderick what time does the microwave say?I support the scientifics.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner
4/3
2014
EWR ✈️ DUB #fbFood Safety Talk 58: Where's my wallet? is up (at iTunes too). Listen to @bugcounter and I chat with @bmarler http://t.co/L5nM13aYVM
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerI email a guy. A few minutes later I don't take a call from "unknown". It's the guy. He leaves a message telling me to send him an email.@lexfri and you have to poop?
4/2
2014
"What if god wasn’t us?" - Buddhist Pop Song
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerSuspected norovirus outbreak at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown http://t.co/QeZRzMb33n
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@mbbatz 👅💧Love it when my kid is so into coloring that he drools all over himself.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner
4/1
2014
"There is no plan B, plan B is stick to plan A"  - Randy Bachman
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@johnroderick How about wallpaper? Do you do wallpaper? Got most of the old stuff off. About 8 months ago. http://t.co/Lp61zVwkpmSaw a sign for ‘Cowboy Boots’ but I thought it said ‘Cowboy Books’ and I had a good long think about what those might be.
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerI'm an expert! http://t.co/QvYOeIxxPW“Goddamn Schrödinberger’s cat…” —@johnroderick
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerPossibly my favourite ever Warning Notice. http://t.co/DuUizTqNjQ
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@lukei4655 @tjluoma I love what the software can do for me. But I have the same concern. And it sometimes locks up and requires a reboot.No one knows who the mystery man in these photo booth photos is. http://t.co/ljgBDa8SxC
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerXKCD, re: why programming is hard. I'm sure there will be a lot of people sending this to @siracusa... http://t.co/q189yHXt2Bgo back to eating butter, if you haven’t already
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@lexfri "Returning terminal A passengers from vacation..." Why are those last two words there?
3/31
2014
“If my child asks to go somewhere or to have anything ever, I will just say yes. I’m a fun person.” —Cash, age 6.5
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@JennyFromABlok @benjaminchapman Excellent. Keep us posted."Citations are retweets for scientists." - @dinnersruined
Retweeted by Don Schaffner   🐅͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟   🐅͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟   ☠͙̰͔̮̯͕͓͖̱͔͖̰͗͒͒͗͒͑͢͢͢͢͞💻    🔗🐅͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟   🐊͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞     🐼  
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@JennyFromABlok Yup. No acid to reduce the pH is a definite C. bot risk. @benjaminchapman see #citizenfoodsafety in Jenn's message to me.@alisonannyoung Wow, fascinating read. Thanks!@dannysullivan He prefers to be known at "Technical Richard" is more public settings.@lukei4655 etymotics!@PhilipMichaels @darth the only Stephen King book I've read is "On Writing". So more like a <slow clap>.Replacing a worthless test with an impossible one is NOT progress FDA CDER. "Your tax dollars at work" So angry right now. #fb@darth @PhilipMichaels all in favor of demoting that Sportsball dude to 5, and replacing him with Grandmaster Flash say "aye".Flashes, ranked: 1. Wally West 2. Barry Allen 3. F. Gordon (spaecman) 4. F. Gordon (pitcher) 5. Jay Garrick … 1100. Adobe
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@jdickerson I want to start a Kickstarter for a device that will direct cold air from my vent the back of that jackasses neck.@inthefade A stupid person does that. So sorry.Princeton students use meningitis B outbreak to make fun of Harvard grade inflation, via Paul Offit #ahcj14 http://t.co/HkqdZ5wByn
Retweeted by Don Schaffnerwow. @dropbox DMCA takedown in personal folders . . . this is new to me. http://t.co/fSKxJUrFus
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@inthefade 😣Your Daily @lexfri (3-26-2014: Recording, Voices, and Bald Heads). Audio quality is off, but hey, it is what it is. http://t.co/hLnLJdfRu2
3/30
2014
Because @inthefade. http://t.co/KKIhUe9bcp@mathowie omg, NJ too. This IS viral marketing. http://t.co/J3tdjAYZlp@inthefade stay strong.
3/29
2014
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