Sign in with Twitter


News Editor (whatever that is) at @empiremagazine, host of the Empire Podcast, and Q&A-hole. It's ok. I wouldn't follow me either. Footy tweets @ChrisHewittLFC.

846 Following   22,535 Followers   57,902 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/11/09

Reverse Tweets
@MooseAllain I'll wait for the tie-in novelisation.@Gary_Bainbridge Well, I hope you enjoy cake! Because, erm, you're going to have some cake. So it would be best if you enjoyed it.Can't believe Simon & Garfunkel said they'd rather be a sparrow than a snail.Commissioner: we'll need to stay in touch Batman: ok Commissioner: this stealth communication device will- Batman: LETS USE A GIANT SKY LAMP
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Jaynesharp Be amazing if that were actually his name.Very excited about the final Hunger Games movie. Hopefully there'll be more incredible scenes of light admin.@mark_salisbury I know, but I think Jerusalem was such a hot ticket that it put him and Rylance on a few lists. All I'm saying.Mark Rylance in Bridge Of Spies. Jez Butterworth co-writing Spectre and Black Mass. The Jerusalem effect?I couldn't believe what I saw on @C4Countdown today, it was just bang out of order.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt[Mordor] FRODO: Do you believe in nominative determinism? SAM: [chuckling] That your name can affect your future? SHAGRAT: Stop it guys
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@TechnicallyRon I'm honestly amazed I haven't thought of this before. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to tweet @StephenKing.@TechnicallyRon HELLO SIR. CAN YOU LEND ME SOME MONEY TO BUY YOUR BOOK. I WILL PAY YOU WITH THE ROYALTIES YOU EARN FROM MY PURCHASE.My book comes out in LESS THAN A MONTH. Why should you buy it? WELL...
Retweeted by Chris HewittParticularly happy with the way I point at my microphone here, like a raging tool. #strong If you get enough, you can splash out on the new issue.@MooseAllain Love the little touches here - the increase of stubble, the plant dying etc.Excitingly there is a 3 and a half hour video on youtube of someone saying the whole name!
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@JordanBowers15 He's very cool. And George Miler is the coolest 70 year old.@nevpierce You're too kind, Nev.@JFGinDigital3D Fake Orgasm Shemp.I've written a film in which Curly, Larry and Moe constantly ejaculate, but I can't think of a title. #sorry #sosorrySo, you know, start saving those shiny pennies.It's early days yet, but the next issue of Empire just might break the record for uses of the word 'ejaculating', and variations thereof.@therealobimoo @HelenLOHara @ChrisHewitt @NickdeSemlyen @PhildeSemlyen @AliPlumb Tolerable.@The_Shiznit M&S' amazing turkey bloomer doesn't kick in until December. It's torture waiting. TORTURE.@Twitflup He's lovely. Has he calmed down?@Twitflup OH MY GOD@gerli49 @HiddlestonersAU Wowsers!
@nickmurftweets Only Klopp can save us now.Steven Gerrard just wrote 'should of' in an Instagram post. I don't want to overreact, but that's basically ruined Istanbul for me.@NickyRR I didn't. You must be thinking of someone else.But... but... what about McBusted? NOOOOOOOO! @ChrisHewitt ha! Here's an alternative in poem form ...
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@SummerRay Have you tried doing a 10kkk?America! Take the 's' from the end of 'Legos' and put it on the end of 'math'. Cheers.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Calchal They might have tried. You never know.@jamie_graham9 Lucky Tomahawk. #saucy #CarryOnUpTheTwitter@Calchal Doesn't matter to me what we gave any of his films.@scottEweinberg @KnightGambit If you have to explain that a not-joke is a not-joke, does it become a joke?@scottEweinberg True. Benefit of the doubt, and all that. Which is my tweet was POSITIVE, Scott. Hurray!"What are you reading?" "Scott Fitzgerald." "F Scott Fitzgerald" "He's not that bad."
Retweeted by Chris HewittIMDb is run by a really proud bee.
Retweeted by Chris HewittI'm sure Seth Grahame-Smith will do a bang-up job on The Flash. It's not like every movie he's done so far has been utterly terrible.April 2015: "We have a filmmaker-driven strategy" - WB/DC Oct 2015: WB/DC hire writer of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER to direct a movie
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@felicitykate Nope. The button's not working. Funny, that.Promoted tweets you can't delete? No, Twitter. No.@jamieandaston Wowsers. That is a day and a half.@JillyBoyd March 11Who's coming to the High-Rise LFF gala screening on Friday, then?British lads overreacting to their friends doing normal stuff when they're drunk is my new favorite meme
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@TheTessMorris "Making your way in the world today takes everything you got/wearing a tee with a funny logo sure would help a lot."@TheTessMorris "Dedication, ooh dedication, dedication's what you need, if you wanna be a T-shirt wearer. Oooooooh yeahhhhhh."@TheTessMorris I love movie T-shirts. But I can't in all good conscience walk around London with an arrow pointing at my penis. Not again.@TheTessMorris YAY! That really is quite the T-shirt.@TheTessMorris That's a Mahoney special, isn't it?Natasha Bedingfield's pronunciation of hyperbole as 'hyper-bowl' is probably the worst pronunciation of hyperbole of all time. #NeverForget@HangoverReviews @mrmarkmillar @NickdeSemlyen Really? First I've heard of it.Ringo wasn't even the best crocheter in The Beatles."Grandpa what was it like before emojis?" Well, we used words called adjectives "That doesn't seem very 💯" No, it was not very 💯 at all
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@mrmarkmillar @NickdeSemlyen I like The Dark World. It's got huge flaws, and has clearly had massive surgery, but there's a lot to like.@mrmarkmillar @NickdeSemlyen Curse you, The Incredible Hulk Returns!@NickdeSemlyen @mrmarkmillar Come on now, guys. It's one of the best Thor movies.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@sam_clements @paulstapletonps Currently flicking through the Habitat catalogue. Going to order SUCH a lovely kitchen for this.@Beathhigh @hrtbps It's either that, or Steve Guttenberg playing both roles.
@NeilsCub *sigh* February.Can I come round yours and watch the latest episode of Netflix & Chill? I promise I won't take off my trousers this time.My TV finally died tonight, after a long battle with a flickery screen. There will not be any service.Never heard of him. 😂😂
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@Beathhigh @hrtbps Jacobi has range, Ian. I think he can do it.@Beathhigh @hrtbps I'm thinking Derek Jacobi as Taylor Netflix, and Geoffrey Palmer as Jack Chill.BBC, if you're not interested in this concept, I know a streaming service that it might be perfect for. & Chill is my new favourite TV detective show.@PeterBradshaw1 Well jel, innit.I'm wearing my new crop top. It's made of wheat.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@ChrisHewitt this is mine...
Retweeted by Chris HewittAt least tonight gives me an excuse to roll out my favourite Rodgers pic, in which Brendan welcomes his new strikers. Gone by January. Hopefully.@sebpatrick I still had faith. I'm going to blame Lovren for all of it.@sebpatrick You can see why they'd pull the trigger as well. It's been a disastrous campaign so far. *glances at all the cameras*@greg_jenner We'd probably have battered you *with* Brendan. He had form in that department, after all.Sad about Brendan. Don't worry, I'll spare you all a rant. I have a separate account for that these days.Oh, and if you live in Crouch End or Finsbury Park, and you like sarnies, hie thee to @lunchluncheon. Max will make you feel like a king.Another enjoyable night at the @arthouseN8. How @PhildeSemlyen has never been there is beyond me. It's surely his spiritual home.
@robbiereviews The only Bond film I haven't seen twice. Quantum, obvs. So bland.Shot through the heart and you're to blame You give cardiology a bad name.
Retweeted by Chris HewittI cannot comment on the vicious rumours that I still haven't got out of bed, or the speculation that I've just ordered a pizza.People have said I'm unimaginative with my comebacks but I say to them 'No, YOU'RE unimaginative with YOUR comebacks'
Retweeted by Chris HewittA Crystal Palace player once urgently ran up to me, out of breath. "What's that, Bolasie?" I said. "Alan Pardew's trapped in the old barn?"
Retweeted by Chris HewittGood job, Team Danger Mouse. "Oh, I thought you wanted me to re-sign. Well, this is awkward."Week 39! @almurray listens to The Band for the first time! Here - RTs appreciated
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt"Blatter must resign for the good of the game" - Coca Cola, McDonalds, Visa, Budweiser. "He's doing a great job. 10 out of 10" - Volkswagen
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt-The name's Bond. James Bond. -I've written Bond now. -Oh. Can you change it or is it too late? -When your coffee's ready they'll call Bond
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@TheTessMorris Who are you calling a psycho?@DanielaPhillips @ollyog WHAT THE HELL WHY WAS I NOT THERElistening to "classical" music, would it have killed them to have some drums
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@TheTessMorris Sorry I couldn't make it. I would have Roy Munsoned it something rotten.
You're alright, @barestebanN8. You're alright.
« Prev1234567