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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey New York, NY

Take a seat in the lobby and the doctor will be right with you.

824 Following   2,028 Followers   6,536 Tweets

Join Twitter 3/9/09

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@ponyinacoma are you available to officiate my wedding@TheeIrishHorse @bridgeteverett technically it's my softy@bridgeteverett @ErinMarkey pumpin up my softy as we speak.
Retweeted by Erin Markeyin honor of @TheeIrishHorse & @ErinMarkey's bangaversary: i'm gonna bang everyone i see today. gear up!
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyDance like Dora the Explorer is watching.Not to sweat the small stuff, but the waiting room at the Beth Israel Dermatology Suite can be ________. #obamacare
4/21
2014
I put on a summer onesie just to feel human again. It worked. Called my mom. Broccoli's in the oven.Happy Easter from #TeamWendy! http://t.co/9IKYJZUurC
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyIf u are unable to afford top surgery but want those things gone, i will eat them off your body for $8.99 (plus tax).I'm back in the USA and me and my data plan cuddled all night long
4/20
2014
i killed a bug with a high top and every part of me feels like a murderer. I sat in a sauna at a Croatian Best Western today. Home tomorrow.
4/18
2014
i started a band today called Power Nap. It's me on drums & vocals like Phil Collins. And then eventually it's me working for Disney.
4/12
2014
article by @TeaMichelle on @ozy about web series Rods and Cones premiering this summer! created by @captaindingbat & @Blisick
4/10
2014
You think you'll never encounter perfection and then you see a WINE-SOAKED PAPASAN CHAIR ON THE STREET. http://t.co/RqSXqT5aQa
Retweeted by Erin Markey
4/5
2014
There are some 3-day-old hard boiled eggs in my room and I'm skipping Musee D'Orsay to go to a "work-weary" lesbian bar called Le Day Off.
4/4
2014
bridget & the tender moments this thursday @JoesPub! BE THERE!
Retweeted by Erin Markey"No publicity is good publicity!" -@TheeIrishHorse"It sucks because they don't have Netflix in France." -@emilyemilydavis enroute to JFK for our 4 week European @HalfStraddle tourTrying on easy spirit ballet flats and I've never felt more like a natural woman #carolekingFeather dusting the sunglasses on st marksOnce a customer at a restaurant I worked at told me he'd buy me macaroni & cheese if he could watch me eat it."Do I look like I'm busting out of this sundress cause I'm so fucking jacked?"
3/24
2014
"He said 'I didn't mean you no harm' and I said I didn't mean you none either but you need to shut the fuck up." -Katrina, my neighborSometimes a career low OR high can look as simple as blowing your nose into a bath towel in the middle of the night.
3/22
2014
um. I just got an invitation from the White House to live tweet my digestive system tomorrow night. not sure what I should wear!!mining your id for material while Dancing With The Stars plays in the background is so much. i'm squinting from the bounty.I just fully realized. with my whole body. and my computer. that there is no synonym for leotard.
3/20
2014
The pants would change my life.Just added:@ErinMarkey on 5/3, @MigguelAnggelo w/ @claudia_acuna on 5/21 & @TheMarthaMan on 6/20! http://t.co/A7QD11zaLk
Retweeted by Erin Markey
3/19
2014
@richmaxwell happy to just finally knowAre we rich yet?@donnakaz until tomorrow night's show.@donnakaz #bloodyknuckles !!!Just woke up from a dream in which I ask the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling how they file their taxes.
3/18
2014
if you haven't watched Tabloid on Netflix Instant then :(
3/15
2014
There's a man on the J train holding a 50 bag pack of snack size potato chips & a live kid who is puking. #LaysIf I was murdered right now the homicide detective would find clementine peel under my fingernails and it would be a clue about my morning."Kind of an abortion comedy premise"
3/14
2014
How many times do i have to say Namaste before people get off my back about the vaguely sexual tone my autobiographical tweets posess
3/11
2014
How long do you think it would take to get to about a Bill Clinton skill level with the saxophone?I just legitimately got worried about whether or not sarah jessica parker is able to maintain her wealth post sex and the city. :(@ErinMarkey then you would get to legally be @DYNASTYHANDBAG 's sister.If I lived in Chinatown, I would legally change my name to DVD Handbags to feel famous
3/10
2014
@ErinMarkey no. just need to make some things clear to my followers. lying by omission isn't my style.@ErinMarkey hey, now. did someone mess with you?if u don't like grown girls w/ long beautiful hair who love boxed macaroni & cheese & the literature of suze orman, go ahead and unfollow me@dangerfishback I guess there's more ways in than I thought
3/9
2014
My burrito container just snagged my tights and it's International Women's Day. Thanks, George W. Bush. And tell your dad thanks too.
3/8
2014
@captaindingbat panic at the disco@JustinSayreCHM @bridgeteverett is there a cuckolding thing I could get in onand Judi Dench as Peter Pan
3/6
2014
The white girl two stepThe sleaziest fawn in the woods@tomleger what about thumbs? Would u rather have thumbs or a ballpoint pen that only sometimes cooperates?Dear Obamacare, You look really cute today in that circle skirt. Just sayin, Erin 241-69-4532#CashWednesday.@bridgeteverett is srsly an amazing relationship counselor. Are there others who would back me up if I nominated her for an honorary MSW?
3/5
2014
@ErinMarkey yes!!If I made something called Butt Piano Brunch, would you guys come? I'm serious. #billyonthestreet@ErinMarkey congratulations, girl. I love you. Have a really good time tonight.So far, the #BillyontheStreet premiere feels just like a life transforming Taylor Swift concert I saw in NJ in 2010. http://t.co/njKqfcNJB2@HuffPostComedy EYE ON ART on debut album. w/ @benkronberg @theGregJohnson @michaelcavadias @ErinMarkey @bejohnce https://t.co/LIIa8U3WoG
Retweeted by Erin Markey
3/4
2014
I was listening to Britney Spears before u even knew who she was & it wasn't cuz I wanted to it was cuz I was finger on the pulse. -becca@JustinSayreCHM @bridgeteverett goodnight puppies. Be safe. Don't let the sidewalk salt sting your delicate paw pads.@JustinSayreCHM @bridgeteverett I'm out of the loop but it seems wasteful not to mention that you are happy to sit for a mold there@JustinSayreCHM @bridgeteverett yup@bridgeteverett @JustinSayreCHM do u have an okcupid profile@JustinSayreCHM the bitch in me sees the bitch in you and honors her. Namaste.@JustinSayreCHM means a lot@JustinSayreCHM we are making tweets my friend. ain't nothin but a modern day haiku.we spent a fair amount of time watching a "livestream" of the 2013 oscars tonight. #ArgoYES! YOU'RE WELCOME MATTHEW!
Retweeted by Erin Markeyhe's playing fuck marry kill and it's taking longer than it should. #lemonmeringuepiebobblehead Merylthe new Danny Zukowaited a long time to see angelina jolie and sydney poitier cuddle@jimleija definitely been therethe ol' Holdie Gawn routine@activecultures i guess this is what flying feels like?
3/3
2014
all my feelings just melted into a little silver ball and rolled away and that's not a compliment.@bridgeteverett i'm serious@bridgeteverett is that your sister?I think The Ellen Show would be way better if Ellen wore a fairy godmother look to host.THANK U JCPENNY @JCPenney From lead role to Cop #3, we think every actor is fit for the spotlight. Tonight, we honor them all!get in there, liza#QuickDeepLunge#deeplunge#DidYouPutItThereWithAMagicMarker#halftimeshow#unclejessifingers. kisses. music. talking. #playbyplay #Oscars2014"Obama was in that selfie?"
3/2
2014
#jackiehoffman #ericakane
3/1
2014
Do u happen to have an astronaut look I can borrow for a performance tmrw night? I am serious. It has to do with Jodie Foster.@waywaw slash music video@waywaw GOOD SONG IDEA@mdaisey @dereksasquatch I went looking for this and when i listened i got really nervous about "the race" http://t.co/RE5BNeHYl7@ErinMarkey there's lots of different ways to celebrate Blankets Friday.@ErinMarkey don't forget that you also did impressions of Wario from Super Mario Cart by yourself.anybody do anything cool this Blankets Friday? I mostly sat at my desk with a blanket learning how to use a new productivity app.
2/28
2014
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