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Software Consultant in New Jersey. Runs @jaymobilenj I make people more money with Apps™. Helplessly hopeful individual.

526 Following   266 Followers   6,073 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/26/09

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@schwa Same over here, since 3pm
Pulled phone out of pocket while saying “Hey Siri, what’s the weather like?“ She read it before I looked at the phone. New 6s+ is awesome.Dartception Tweeting
Retweeted by jp
@jc4p related: I saw your msg the other day and lol’d but it was on fb which I don’t use and I forgot to go back & respond after I woke upOH: “you see people at their worst - when they are frustrated by computers, the worst thing invented”. #osfeels
Retweeted by jpKudos to Apple for making the UIApplicationShortcutItem API super simple. Expected it to be just as bad as VC transitioning but nope 😊
New toys, I love end-of-term Obama. His speech today can be roughly translated to, “Are you fucking serious, Congress?”@AlexDe_L bc pa is terrible
I will never forgive both of my parents for moving to PA but at least when I visit there’s a Wawa no matter which road I take.There have been more mass shootings this year than days. #UCCShooting is only the latest.
Retweeted by jp@engers the babel fish :O@AlexDe_L I doubt it’ll be *that* bad but even if it is ntyThough I did survive Sandy while living on an Ocean Avenue in 2012 so the odds are in my favorHurricane coming. 300ft from the Raritan River. This weekend is gonna be fuuunnn.@jc4p do u work at 500px?@jc4p I’m still trying to figure it out@jc4p
TIL you can’t watch stuff on iTunes and use the xScope Loupe tool Great examples, great explanation of goals/process, cool blog on culture, flawlessly responsive w/o dumbing down UI elementsSuper, super jealous of @mobilejazzcom’s website. It’s perfect.
@jc4p you’re doing it wrong bro@AlexDe_L you’re just jealous m8
Dat post submission relief. 2 months of crunch over ^_^
TIL British people call sprinkles hundreds-and-thousands wtf?@AlexDe_L i love vodka cranberry no judgement here but tfti@AlexDe_L lolDoctor Who Season 👌Apple TV Dev Kit doesn’t come with Netflix 😫
That could have just as easily been a real article on The Awl, sometimes I love the InternetBest Cities For Millennials
Retweeted by jp@jc4p i’m lol’ing@jc4p you’re the token iranian guy
When you gotta track down a nasty memory leak in a codebase you inherited from someone who didn’t know what a retain cycle was (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
@AlexDe_L @jc4p rip it’s never gonna happen then@jc4p @AlexDe_L before you move tho. ijs I did travel literally across the country to go to BK for your birthday in March@AlexDe_L @jc4p people matter more than places ^_^@AlexDe_L @jc4p implying id willingly go to NYC again this year. you have to convince Kasra to come to nb@jc4p <$500k for 1800 sqft with a backyard got dammit fuck nj@jc4p @AlexDe_L 40+?! I remember late 20s@jc4p @AlexDe_L the fuck who are you@jc4p @AlexDe_L we can go to Hot Bird and get assaulted@jc4p @AlexDe_L tfw you’re not sure if you’re the half@AlexDe_L @jc4p Kasra Alex just overcame his life long fear of trains so we need to take him out sometime@AlexDe_L @jc4p Alex no@jc4p @AlexDe_L Tres Carnes is iight. Dos Toros has the bangin burritos and nostalgia going for it. man I need one rn but fuck NYC@jc4p this mother fucker tried to ask me where he should go in times fucking square last night lol lol@AlexDe_L /cc @jc4pGlad I got to hear about all their desired secret service codenames thoHost talking about how it was “unfortunate” that they had to skip “Black Lives Matter” b/c the candidates went on too long for some Q’sSo this election is a joke but at least my Apple TV Dev Kit comes tomorrow ^_^"This $10 portrays a lady who is definitely my mom & not a model from a Sears catalog" "That's the Mona Lisa" "I said she wasn't from Sears"
Retweeted by jpFree College Free Phones yup same thing totesmarco what year are you inOkay I guess this debate is over“Remedy racial injustice” is not a sentence you’re allowed to say in America, just fyiFuck off HuckabeeCan’t take Huckabee seriously because dude looks too much like NixonI made a very poor choice deciding to drink every time I heard the name Reagan tonightI grew up in New Jersey. Everybody was high, except for the old people, who were mostly drunk. #America #GOPDebate
Retweeted by jpViolence is not endemic you racist fucksKoch ads Union bashing CNN WHAT ARE YOU DOINGRepublicans talking about John Roberts Issues! Will they talk about wage disparity? Killing black people? Homeless people? Affordable education? After these commercials!These fuckers should be forced to point to any country they name on a world mapMeanwhile Americans keep killing each other with guns but yes let’s talk about Iran & NKI’M DYING JEB BUSH YOU JOKESTERHAHAHAHAHA“Peace Through Strength” Bringing up the 1980s. Guys is it 2003, it’s 2003 right?“United States needs to lead the world” no we fucking don’t“If we keep electing the same people nothing is going to change” LOLlet’s talk about who the fuck thought it’d be okay to have sponsors and commercials for a presidential debateDonald Trump just did every emoji face on your phone in 7 seconds. #GOPDebate
Retweeted by jpMan, writing that tweet just made me remember that we fucking elected Reagan twice damn itDear Republicans, in case you didn’t know already Trump is the Ronald Reagan of 2015, you dimwits“Tell Donald Trump…” whylol Chris Christie chastising a politician for having a childish response to another politician's snub THAT IS RICH
Retweeted by jpWho the fuck thought a 30 second timer was an okay thing for the presidential fucking debatesBest part of the debate is watching the other Repubs try and act like their ideals aren’t as fucked as Trump’s because he was on TV once
Cool clock, Ahmed. Want to bring it to the White House? We should inspire more kids like you to like science. It's what makes America great.
Retweeted by jp
*fights limitations of Obj-C classes* *gives up* fuck it #import <objc/runtime.h>God bless 70°
Retweeted by jpI’m not sure if it’s because I love everything Tim Robbins does or not but I’m certainly enjoying binge watching The Brink
@jc4p oh >computers@jc4p I prefer the end of year style anyway, the anticipation makes it cooler@jc4p not since 2012 apparently but I don’t recall ever turning off scrobbling /shrug@jc4p probably gonna be my most listened to when the year in review comes outThere is no such thing as too many listens to the entirety of Passion Pit’s Gossamer.
Y’all laughin’ but the Microsoft apps for iOS are really, really good they picked the perfect team to come inHappy Bad Joke Twitter Day, everyone
@engers I can get behind thisThe chase scenes are SO GOODCatching up on Netflix. The Wet Hot American Summer series is just as good as the original. Can’t beat well written absurdist humor.
@AlexDe_L @joshriker I AM@AlexDe_L @joshriker guys no
@AlexDe_L alex no@_Jordan because blockchain or because dope? I think dope is a fun word
@jc4p son please.
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