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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

36,663 Following   48,256,443 Followers   11,081 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08

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You even look gorgeous in a lab coat. Thank you for saying "Uranus" on national television. you love playing Epic or Fail as much as I do, check out the first episode of the Epic or Fail show on @ellentube don’t have to be at the beach to enjoy an @OceanSprayInc. Hope this clip doesn’t bog you down #LaughDancePartner’s already a sequel to #TheMartian coming out, and this one stars @KimKardashian West.’s a comedian.
.@Official_Twitch & @AllisonHolker are having a baby! We don't know if it's a boy or a girl but he or she already won season 44 of SYTYCD.Times have changed. When I was 13, “Snapchat” was what my mom called it when I talked back to her.They’re really starting to see things eye to eye. Mammogram Reminder #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresWhat a fun weekend. had a few emails with @HillaryClinton that I noticed she didn’t share. I thought I should share them now. birthday, Kate Winslet! Near, far, wherever you are.Thank you Lost & Found Pets of South Carolina. If you’re looking for or found a pet, connect here. SC, I love you. you to all the heroes in South Carolina helping the people affected by these floods. We’re all sending you love.#MondayMotivation got it. Feel free to keep winning.
Brian, Jackson & I convinced our friend @DrewBrees to play tonight. I thought this would be a good time to remind you Warning is performing at House of Blues a week from today, Oct 11th! You’ve been Warned.
Be stylish. Be supportive. #BCAM birthday, @GwenStefani! I hope I get to see you soon. Just tell me where and Gwen.
Veronica was caught playing hooky in my audience, so I had to school her myself. with our new #MagicMoments @jonjacquestv series
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresGirls can grow up to be anything they want. Just look at my friend, UFC fighter @RondaRousey.
Glad to have a partner like @ULTA_Beauty who gives back the way I do - with dignity, respect & head stockings. #BCAM of my favorite stories ever. can’t imagine what the families of UCC are going through. The world is rising up to hold you in the light. I hope you can feel our love.Happy #ThrowbackThursday!
They don't call you Saints for nothing. ponytail. Cute mustache. #YoureWelcomeWednesday a selfie & @KimKardashian West magically appeared. Post a fruit selfie w/ #DrinkGoodDoGood. assume this will be the cover of your next book. are @KimKardashian West’s thoughts on Caitlyn’s journey:
If this is your first day finding me on Snapchat, you picked a good day. Find me. I’m “Ellen" kid is amazing. Watch his whole performance on my Vessel page. sent Jeannie to make her Broadway debut. She was Wicked good. birthday, @Official_tWitch! Whether you’re dancing, DJ-ing, or getting your thighs waxed on national television, I always love ya.It's #NationalCoffeeDay! So many places to get free coffee. I feel great! Great great great great! What a great idea. Great great great.Dance like @THEGaryBusey taught you.
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresOh nae nae he didn’t.
I know Matt Damon is a good guy. I was happy to help set the record straight (or gay. Up to you)“No, you give ME a boost.” is what real positivity looks like. I know Emilee's going to inspire you as much as she inspires me. Birthday, @HilaryDuff! I just double-checked. I could have sworn it was so yesterday.Claire Danes is here for the first time today, and I have a feeling it won’t be her last.
We saw the Super Moon! I had no idea it would be so bright! #SuperBloodMoon #OMG #Blessed
My holiday collection on @QVC kicks off in 10 minutes! I’ll be there live. I hope you will be too. #CatPhotoFriday thought this was pretty bunny. never know when I might pop up in your living room. does a Greek person shout when they’re watching OWN? OPRAH! #ClassicJokeFridayHappy birthday, Will Smith! I hope you’re chillin’ out, maxin’ and relaxin’ all cool.
#ImAboutToWatchScandalNobodyCallOrTextMeForAnHourOrEmailHappy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT can be intimidating. is what happens when you combine Heads Up and Angry Birds. @amznunderground #LaughDancePartner showed some of @PortiadeRossi’s #BadHairDay photos on the show. Now I wanna see yours! Send ‘em to me here. you want. Baby they got it.’s National Punctuation Day!?!;”:’>./,+{=@#”(*$]%]?!
Butterflies can be so merciless. wife looks beautiful at every moment, at every angle. Here’s my proof. @PortiadeRossi world’s gonna miss you, Yogi. love Jon Stewart. Thank you to the @WWE for the amazing support of #JustKeepDancing’s #YoureWelcomeWednesday’ve heard wonderful things about your appearance. Trumps all previous Republican debates. was incredible, but I feel terrible her CD kept skipping. #FirstDayOfFall! These people really know how to celebrate.
It’s Yom Kippur. If you’re atoning, I forgive you. If you’re not atoning, I still forgive you.I need a table of laughing babies. miss you already. picked out this video for you. It’s just something I saw in the window. really is a Scream Queen. met Taylor! Taylor met Dylan! This makes me so happy.
My show was on the red carpet of the #Emmys handing out water bottles. I’m kidding. We had tequila.! It’s Tiny Trumps. loves animals. I love Ricky Gervais. birthday, @JasonDerulo. I found a new fan of yours. Watch the whole video on ellentube: http://ellen.... is an International Day of Peace. I'm going to celebrate tomorrow too. And the next day. And the next… #ForgiveForPeace
.@ViolaDavis, you're spectacular. #Emmys.@AmySchumer that Emmy goes really well with your smokey eye. #EmmysYou guys, Olive Kitteridge just won my fantasy football league. #EmmysThanks #Emmys. I had DVRed all of those shows.I love when TV makes a difference. Grateful to @JeffreyTambor & Transparent for breaking ground and so happy for their win. #Emmys.@AllisonBJanney broke the record for acting #Emmys. That doesn't even count the ones she's won for Sound Mixing for a Variety or Special.
Happy birthday, @JimmyFallon! I had so much fun beating you in our lip sync battle. B!@#$ better have my trophy. Sending love.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work. #ClassicJokeFriday.@RyanHoward is a great guy. Happy to help! can play football. They can also win a brand new @Ford. #LaughDancePartner #POTUS @BarackObama
Congrats to @TheEllenShow's @JonnyNormanLA on making the Top #TVMusicPowerPlayers list:
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresConsider my mood boosted. Watch the whole video on ellentube: #ThrowbackThursday #TBT was here for the first time. I adore her. young girl inspires me. I’m so proud of her. @GAPKids #HeyWorld #LaughDancePartner a blast with @TheEllenShow On today!
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresWhy can’t he feel his face? Is she holding his arms down? #TheWeeknd
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday two are so good together it's scary.
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