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Actor / Writer / Filmmaker / Blogger / Comedian / Critic / Gamer / Mad Scientist

66 Following   41,419 Followers   47,984 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/19/09

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#ItGetsFuckingBetter this is a major Crisis-level crossover event revolving around fucking Spider-Ham. Problem is, Sue hates Reed here.#NoThisIsReal this is Galactus about to eat the Ultimateverse. Simian Storm fell in love with Ducktor #DOOM instead. http://t.co/tHnTlv1BAg#AndThenThereWasThatOneTime the Ultimate Spider-Ham told Sue Storm she needed to have Reed's child to save the world. http://t.co/c1ilY1adq2I don't want to write for the #WWE. I want to write a framework for the shows. An outline, and let the wrestlers be who they are.@TheSpoonyOne so wanna write for WWE? https://t.co/RyPpLwThXp
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerSpoonyExperiment - ReDéjà Vugeance. http://t.co/nS3inGchMg #hitboxlive via @hitboxlive"Why did she put the Torture Chamber RIGHT NEXT to the Museum?! ...And I don't remember hearing about a bard--*URRK*""Lady Minax will be furious! I've sent the musician she hired to perform at the museum gala to the Torture Chamber!""The museum? Ah yes, down that hall, and take a right." ... "LEFT!! I MEANT TURN LEFT!!!" @RichardGarriott http://t.co/TPXkQUDYaP@PerpetualJordan Well it's good you didn't decide to go with the Mike Tyson tribal face tattoo. That was a bit extreme.@PerpetualJordan You don't often see many people getting MOM tattooed on their chest, but I think it's sweet you're going that way!I would love to see Krypto bring this thing back and take a giant piece out of Anti-Superman's ass. http://t.co/b7dE2MHtdTI love how Anti-Superman is all smiles, waves, "How's it going! I'm Anti-Superman! Damn glad to meetcha!" AND BAAAAM MORTAL KOMBAT UPPERCUT!It's simple, #WeKillTheAntiBatman. #AndAntiSuperman. http://t.co/hEm0iu97WJBig O? What in the hell-- oh god, this is some major cult anime shit, isn't it, and I'm instantly going to regret asking DON'T ANSWER@Dresden_Nova Disproportionately crude suggestion of a sexual performance with an improbably-sized gardening decoration.@Dresden_Nova Hostile dismissal of your minor clarification.#AndThenThereWasThatOneTime Galactus was coming to eat Earth so Reed Richards built Voltron. #GalactusHungers http://t.co/SH0camrSuq@Takahata101 People still use Hotmail? You'll have to wait until morning for the telegraph office to be open.It's simple, #WeKillTheBatman. http://t.co/NfCZZINNf5RT @CappuccinoMush @thespoonyone @thespoonyone I will when Richard Garriott makes better games. // OH WE GOT A BADASS HERERT @CappuccinoMush @thespoonyone Ultima series sucks // Try harder.You're inferring a lot into what I'm saying. The game sucks. I don't need excuses to know that.@NevixAstari @SMusilli @TheSpoonyOne You don't have to like RE, that's just choice. But don't pretend the game somehow cheated you.
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler
RT @MaxwellElvis @TheSpoonyOne In other words, you wimped out. // I didn't wimp out, I traded in.RT @MaxwellElvis @TheSpoonyOne They coded perfectly. You just can't adapt. / Oh I adapted fine. I traded the game back. #EvolutionIsAMysteryCode better.@NevixAstari @SMusilli @TheSpoonyOne Play better.
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler@craigtheintern @SMusilli @TheSpoonyOne Still doesn't change that a POLICEWOMAN can't aim for shit, or run away properly.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerRT @krustentier7 .@TheSpoonyOne "i'm spoony and everyone who doesn't agree with me is wrong." // You've figured it out.You didn't say that. TELL ME you didn't just say that.@TheSpoonyOne There is no possible way you found The Last Door to be less boring than Resident Evil.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI don't even know what those are. Nor do I care. I certainly bore-quit.@TheSpoonyOne Sounds like someone got his ass handed to him by the Hunters and rage-quit.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerThe only thing more funny-sad than the plot are the people who take it seriously.Blow me. Resident Evil was never any good, and you knew it from Day 1. You dropped your fudge at one dog going through a window. That's it.Hah, I love people who defend the shitty tank-controls of Resident Evil, as if the games themselves were worth defending.RT @Pyke_64 What song did you use at the end of your FF13 review? http://t.co/rm5w8nG2lC // "Why" by Living Illusion. http://t.co/el9kSkAtdl@fardmuhammad You're black?DZ: "Well, my name is like a porn star, sort of. Maybe it should be implied that just below the camera shot, I whipped my huge dick out."I wonder whose idea that was. "And then you say 'I'm Dolph Ziggler.' And everyone stares awkwardly at you. And that's it. Next Hogan here."For weeks. He'd just be backstage. No reason. Standing there. "Hi. I'm Dolph Ziggler" I'M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD I'M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLDRT @ColonelFancy @TheSpoonyOne Remember when the Dolph Ziggler gimmick started by him just introducing himself? // Hi! I'm Dolph Ziggler.I can't think of a faster way to kneecap your own credibility as a Bad Ass other than wrestling as a male cheerleader named Nicky-- ohh...But anyway, if I'm trying to help Dolph Ziggler... OH AND I WOULD LOVE TO... he has GOT to return and drop that god damned stupid name.The answer is "they're all physical specimens." That's the point. Any one of these guys could probably powerbomb your car.RT @BionicIguana Now you're just being silly, the guy is an athletic specimen. // Quick. Anyone, name another "athletic specimen."His entrance alone would cause Dolph's skin to melt off in awe and horror. Good lord. Dolph would be a jobber in NXT without help.In two months, Prince Devitt already has more in-character credibility than Dolph has ever had. Finn Bálor would TEAR DOLPH A NEW ASSHOLE.It would be ridiculous. The guy is a joke. From an audience standpoint, you look at Dolph and think of someone who would fucking crush him.You can't just throw him in the Rumble, have him win, headline Wrestlemania and have this be the Era of the Ziggler or some shit. Fuck me.And even if I agreed that he could be saved, he's been so clowned over the years it'd take forever to build him back up.Dolph Ziggler sounds like a character from Zoolander, or a guest character from Sprockets on SNL. He does not sound like a Bad Ass."We want Ziggler?" Do you? Do you REALLY? Does anyone WANT a Ziggler? He sounds like he should star in Logjammin' 2.The following contest is for the WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first! BROCK LESNAR! His opponent: DOLPH ZIGGLER-- uggghDolph. Ziggler. Just... just fuck off with that. I'm guessing this started as some Dirk Diggler "porn star with huge dick" gimmick, right?And I'll tell you a huge problem-- this'll make you laugh, but it's true-- a lot of what holds him back? His name is Dolph Ziggler.The guy wiggles his ass and has a giant zipper and a horrid bleach job. Get over it.I mean, what do you really see happening, here? Dolph running roughshod over dudes like Cena, Reigns, Rusev, Big Show, Lesnar? Please.RT @FelixHBrownIII I can't get past Vince burying @ZackRyder at all. // If Vince lost the shovel, Zack would have buried himself."Why don't they give him more time? Why do they hold him down?" And eventually they gave him more time. "Oh."I keep going back to Zack Ryder, whose path paralleled Dolph's in many ways. Hugely popular, especially among the Internet hardcores.But Dolph is the kind of guy you think you want to see a lot more of... until you see a lot more of him.The Sandman was very popular too and I wouldn't book him over a sack of pigshit. Look, I know Dolph is nothing like the Sandman.@TheSpoonyOne I just think Ziggler would make more sense because Ziggler's very popular
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerIt's not even February and the lot of you have already made me begin to hate one of my all-time favorite movies. Well done.I swear to god, it's going to be November and people are going to still be making the connection w/ Back to the Future like it's news.@DragonCon @WackoMedia Gee I wonder why you bring that up oh right because of that movie and it's that same year and the car is in the movie@ShinWitty All it would have taken was a stern "Enough, Suzuki-san; we are guests here." and the situation is defused.@ShinWitty Oh absolutely. The notion that not one of the others bothered to intervene is baffling.@ShinWitty I could argue that, but it would reek of cowardice. Someone would really need to step in at this point and urge for calm.@ShinWitty And again, remember that the core issue is whether or not *I* could use a sword. His honor is only satisfied if I answer that.@ShinWitty Hm. Okay, well-reasoned. Still, in this situation, I think one does not run away looking for a champion; one needs to step in.@ShinWitty Ennnh I don't know if I buy that. The issue was personal, clearly to do with me. He wasn't saying Lions can't swordfight.@ShinWitty Clan champion?! That's a THING?On the other hand, I wasn't anticipating having my own party member punting my severed fucking head down some temple steps.Oh, I suppose I could have taken some spell that had me walking around with a katana made of fucking thunder. That might have helped.I can't even count the ways they screwed themselves killing me off, considering I created my shugenja as a support character to heal them.If you were worth a damn, you never let your enemy get close enough where you'd have to pull steel. Cranes, I shake my head at you.As I recall, it was considered something of a shame to be known as a good swordsman among samurai. It meant you were a shitty archer.Aw COME ON! We'd have to write letters and shit. Let's just kill each other like civilized people.@TheSpoonyOne First he would need your Daimyo's permission, then HIS Daimyo's permission, then decide on the manner of the duel etc.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI'm guessing it's dishonorable to go around decapitating priests. I think these guys weren't as smart as they believed.@TheSpoonyOne wouldn't it be dishonorable to duel someone with a lower honor-score?
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerTurning a round and waving a tree at him wouldn't have really satisfied his honor.I doubt it would have worked, since the whole point of contention was over the notion that I didn't know how to use a sword.I might have challenged him to a bonsai battle if I'd known that was an option. But he might have tried to cut my balls off w/ the trimmers.RT @Gar1onriva @TheSpoonyOne I really admire you for your articulation. // I put like three ranks in it. And bonsai pruning.Rain on still waters Fuck your fat retarded face as cicadas mourn.Honoured samurai, Your whore mother is a whore, Cherry blossoms fall.Lions kick your ass. Lions kick your face, Your balls? INTO OUTER SPAAAAACE!!!Excellent with swords but never learned how to read This Crane duels unarmed.A Crane who duels priests clearly overcompensates for a small pecker.Please, share your poem. I humbly excuse myself. Smug Crane cocksucker.A thousand pardons, but I question this honored samurai's manners. Crowd: *GASP*If I'd have known we could have a fucking poetry duel, I could have done a Rokugani-era rap battle and I would have CRUSHED his punk ass.RT @ShinWitty Not to mention you didn't HAVE to fight with swords. // Something that could have been brought to my attention YEARS AGO!!!And honestly, I thought I had an outside chance. I am somewhat notorious for winning one-on-one duels I had no business surviving.Additionally, it seems the Lion and Crane clans generally don't like each other. I FUCKING WONDER WHY.I couldn't back down. As a Lion apparently I had a higher Honor score and backing down would have shamed the shit out of my boys.@TheSpoonyOne the way to solve it in character is to miyagi you (maybe repeatedly) and you concede defeat. he gets superiority-u get to live
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerChopping me in half from topknot to ballsack in one stroke counts as first blood, I suppose. #ShamefurDisprayAnd I believe it was to first-blood. HE FIRST-BLOODED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.I am being informed in how many ways that L5R group misunderstood samurai culture, and yet how I was still honor-bound to duel that prick.@RedDoleth I'd hate to think that's why you were motivated, but if you found a new appreciation for the videos, that's good at least. =)RT @Dutchtica Reed Richards at one point builds "Pier 4" as a base, which is bigger on the inside. Thanks to a friend from... guess. / IKEA?Counter Monkey - They Duel. That's What They Do.: http://t.co/EqPYZUlrI6 via @YouTubeThis also means that the Transformers = 616 = Doctor Who.Anyway, the Doctor dropped Death's Head on the roof of the Baxter Building, called him a tool, and LEFT. COLD AS ICE. http://t.co/vv6yiKdmUNSOON@TheSpoonyOne Bought Pier Solar on PSN. Obscure meme reference is obscure. http://t.co/6tyjz5NJHZ
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler"SHIT SHIT SHIT HE'S STILL PISSED SOMEONE HELP ME!" #DoctorVsTransformer http://t.co/zGD5XcCirEAnd then the Doctor busts out a shrink-o-ray gun because of course he has one of those. #DoctorVsTransformer http://t.co/ctL9pDrw8rUhhh... J-jelly Baby? #DoctorVsTransformer http://t.co/IikUM725ex#NoThisIsntAJoke #ImNotShittingYou #ThisWasReallyPublishedAndShit #oOOweeeOOOOO #wwwEEEEEoooOOOO http://t.co/CY0x037a7t#AndThenThereWasThatOneTime the Seventh Doctor battled a Decepticon bounty hunter named Death's Head. Seriously. http://t.co/c5tMKcYSLf
@PushinUpRoses Diagnosis: Murder, as it were.*scribbles down movie ideas* Dawn... of the... #PIGMEN...A Pigman can bite through a man's femur like it was a stick of butter. You can't outrun them. #PIGMENNobody ever heeds my warnings about the Pigmen. We'll see who's laughing when you've got a Pigman chewing through your car door. #PIGMEN@AnotherReviewer @wilw We're nearly genetically IDENTICAL, man!! #PIGMEN@wilw HE'S CREATING PIG-MEN, I'M TELLING YOU. PIGMEN.@brentalfloss @Nash076 I think Nash has me blocked. =P I have... upset him in the past.@brentalfloss @Nash076 Quebec?@brentalfloss @Nash076 The Tea Party's negotiating tactics are primarily screaming "LA LA LA LA," which leaves Boehner pulling his hair out.@brentalfloss @Nash076 There's really two factions: the Tea Party (hard-liners) & more moderate, but they can't afford to officially split.