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Dude, the game gives me NO CHOICE. There are no nonlethal attacks, and none of the enemies surrender.What's really bizarre as how much the game reprimands and shames you for doing it. "You murderer! You sadistic psychopath!"Instead of literally de-facing about 200 people with a radial saw, Metal Gear is a game almost entirely predicated on eating people's spinesWhile I'm calling out Bioshock Infinite on being ridiculously, stupidly violent, there's also Metal Gear Rising.Gah, I've got a ton of games I'd love to play, but absolutely no time. Must review things.@AprilVonLon The Rock says he has all of your pancakes. http://t.co/qCWCywYvC6 #ThePeoplesPancakesToday we celebrate the ascension of our glorious leader! Those observed not celebrating enough will be shot. http://t.co/avya1t5BuqApparently the Rock was injured quite badly at 'Mania with torn abdominals muscles. Unbelievable that he's delaying surgery for months.

RT @PushinUpRoses @TheSpoonyOne NO. // Ah c'mon ya wuss. #BEN #DROWNEDWell I DID say it was really scary, didn't I?Actually it kind of reminds me of this really scary Korean comic I saw online. http://t.co/As9AIMUR4tDOnT rUN AWaY fRoM mE I jUST WaNT tO WaLK YOu HOmE http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1GO TO SLEEP http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1 IT'S OKAY I'LL BE WATCHING YOUGoodbye Jeri. Tell your husband he's a very lucky man. Too lucky to have someone like you. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1You have to go? I understand. Everyone wants a piece of you. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1Pthalates are plasticizers which are linked to hormonal & reproductive problems. And you would be such a good mother. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1You use Garnier product in your hair don't you. I can smell it. You shouldn't use it. It contains pthalates you know. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1Gillian Anderson lied to me. I thought I loved her and she lied to me. I bet she loved her cat, too. I know she did. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1You'll read it, won't you? Tell me you'll read it. I'll know if you're lying. You shouldn't lie to me, Jeri Ryan. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1In fact I've written a screenplay. You're in it and so am I. We're married. Well we're not at first, but we will be. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1Hello. Are you Jeri Ryan? I'm your biggest fan. http://t.co/vJBHxDfTJ1 I think I love you, Jeri Ryan.@TheSpoonyOne Why is he trying to stab that Romulan?
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerThe screenshots are, well, um. http://t.co/8ot7DsL85k Yeah.I'm trying to figure out reviews of the game "Pathologic." Mainly they all say it's a poorly-translated, bleak pile of shit. But awesome.@yugiohtas Also in Transformers The Movie: Galvatron shoots Starscream, who is reduced to a blackened statue that fucking dissolves.@yugiohtas PWNT.@yugiohtas In MLP: Friendship is Magic, King Sombra dies when the Crystal Heart is activated, turning him to crystal and shattering him.@yugiohtas Does Simon Phoenix from Demolition Man count? He got frozen solid.@yugiohtas The troll in Willow? Took a magic acorn right to the head.Ladies and gentlemen, the dumbest thing you will see this month: http://t.co/45iDCQjbCN (I've got the Mesa Merlins going all the way.)Time to take this reviewing shit on the road. http://t.co/1RjqXnLkFTIf you ban nunchucks, you're condemning Eskimos to fighting polar bears without their chained-together boots. #MUKLUKCHUCKSWhat if we made nunchucks out of @Linkara19 videos? #SUCKCHUCKS #SickBurnRT @Shooter__Andy @TheSpoonyOne But what would nuns use to defend themselves? // ...what? I don't get it.@TheSpoonyOne My favorite cyberpunk weapon is Shadowrunchucks.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerHow are golfers supposed to defend themselves without puttchucks?The Empire even confiscated all the huttchucks from Jabba's palace.RT @JimmyGeekPA @TheSpoonyOne or nunchucks made of waterfowl! // DUCKCHUCKSRT @NateHood257 @TheSpoonyOne Or nunchucks made of rubber chickens! // CLUCKCHUCKSHe even has to arrest you if you're carrying non-lethal nunchucks. I can't even carry rubbachucks!RT @Yuoaman @TheSpoonyOne @DPhoenixMishima What if you got two double clubs and made some nunchucks out of them? // DUBBACLUBCHUCKSRT @DPhoenixMishima @TheSpoonyOne What if you took a pair of nunchucks... and put another set of nunchucks on each end? // DOUBLECHUCKSGUNCHUCKS TAKES IT TOO FAR@TheSpoonyOne What if you got two guns and connected them by a chain and used them as nunchucks? WHICH LAW WINS OUT?!?!
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerThis isn't apples and oranges! YOU CAN MAKE NUNCHUCKS OUT OF BOTH GOD DAMN IT.You ban guns, what's to stop people from going on nunchuck rampages? IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME IN CHINAIF TEH JEWS HAD NUNCHUCKS THERED BE NO HITLER@TheSpoonyOne Germany 1942, Cambodia 1975, Rwanda 1994, If those people had nunchuks they'd still be alive today
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerThis is a clear violation of my first amendment rights. This is exactly the kind of shit the founding fathers fought England to be free of.@TheSpoonyOne When nunchucks are outlawed, only ninja turtles will have nunchucks.
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler@TheSpoonyOne The only thing to stop a bad guy with nunchucks is a good guy with nunchucks.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerTHAR TAKIN AR NUMCHORRRRKSTrue fact: in Arizona I can legally carry a concealed firearm in public. If I openly carry nunchucks, the police would arrest me.@WildWop Sure. And how many died from that? Imagine the same guy with an assault rifle.Yeah I went there for no reason. Bite me, it's fun. >=)Gunman holding firefighters hostage in Atlanta: http://t.co/MK5YeoPCU0 // Wouldn't often see the headline "Knifeman holding hostages..."#FANDANGOO http://t.co/91hHDGrKmS@AprilVonLon @Linkara19 OH GOD NO MY EYES WHY DID YOU SHOW ME THISI suppose there'd be no point in seeing if a buyer's a convicted felon or has a history of mental instability. http://t.co/N356kdPGVV"Expanding background checks at gun shows will not prevent the next shooting." Just sign here, sir. Enjoy the gun! http://t.co/stffttrqW0Naturally, the NRA is opposing even the extremely limited gun bill coming up for a vote expanding background checks.RT @Supersayinlink actually the MG Reb uses in mercenary fighters is a 7.62x51/.308 // Really? You had to be the "actually" asshole?

Counter Monkey: Problem Players - http://t.co/vnRciKWmAJOf course after I did the voice, everyone insisted I show them Sexvice. So now my D&D group knows what a weirdo I am. http://t.co/flErz4xelP
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI really don't get this. Even the worst people on Top Chef would completely eradicate every single one of these scrubs.You keep calling each other bitches, the word loses all bite. CREATIVITY. Call her a no-business, born-insecure, jock-jawed MUTHAFUCKAAA!It's not even the term that offends me so much as the unoriginality. There ARE other pejoratives out there. Fucking hell.Watching Hell's Kitchen. For some reason. I really hate how all the women constantly call each other bitches It's all the goddamn time.I really want to get Cyanogenmod working on my phone but every version I've tried completely shuts down my phone reception.@yugiohtas YOU'RE superfluous. ... I don't really know why I said that.That scene in Rambo 4 where Rambo shoots the .50 cal is TOTALLY a rip-off of Mercenary Fighters. http://t.co/E0eQiPU4ay@loweringthebar It's all about the money with you, isn't it? Being a lawyer OF COURSE you'd want them to have trials. More work for you.@loweringthebar Oh come on, it's just a few of them.@Maffewgregg Hi. I'm Dolph Ziggler.@TheSpoonyOne HURT ME MOAAAAAR
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler@TheSpoonyOne "dis guy..."
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI know the VOA is trying, given the character he has to work with, but this "Jack the Ripper" voice is ridiculous. #MetalGearRevengeanceOh god, Raiden's gone full emo. "Turn my pain inhibitors off! Pain is what I live for!" #MetalGearRevengeanceBut c'mon people, all that and no SUPER DRAGON~!Most Surreal Chants: MIKE CHIODA! MICHAEL COLE! RANDY SAVAGE! Best Chant: #FANDANGOO DANCE Worst Chant: EC-DUB! (Seriously, get over it.)It doesn't even make sense to have an arrow saying "THE CHAMP IS HERE" pointing to a belt. It's pointing at his dick.Cena's new shirt seriously looks like something a grade-schooler whipped up in 30 minutes on Microsoft Paint. It's god-awful.The #FANDANGOO DANCE did more to get #FANDANGOO over in one night than eight months of promotion. #RAW#RAW Mark lays Cena out. The Ryback out to make the save AND HOLY SHIT RYBACK HEEL TURN THIS IS HUGE #CrowdChants ***#FANDANGOO DANCE***#RAW Cena wins the match in about 2 minutes with a bullshit count-out almost exactly how I won most of my N64 matches. Fuck this shit.#RAW Match starts. #FANDANGOO Dance. Crowd briefly attempts to start some insulting Cena chant, but fuck it, #FANDANGOO DANCE.#RAW I swear the first thing I think of when I hear Mark Henry's music is "Move Bitch, Get Out the Way." John Cena match. He's fucked.#RAW Tons of Funk wins in a literal squash match. Crowd fails to notice. #CrowdChants ***#FANDANGOO DANCE***#RAW Good luck with this crowd, assholes! #CrowdChants ***#FANDANGOO DANCE***#RAW Oh good, this should get the crowd interested in the show. Tons of Funk vs. Rhodes Scholars. Crowd's already invented a better dance.#RAW Paul Heyman says that Brock got knocked out 90 seconds into his match. I been knocked out. Wrestling would not have been fun afterward.#RAW The crowd has now invented a #FANDANGOO Dance-- although I use the word "dance" charitably-- consisting of finger-poking the air.#RAW HOLY SHIT IT'S JERICHO The only babyface the crowd will cheer all night!#RAW #FANDANGOO! And his PANTS OF FLAME! *Crowd chants...are they singing the #FANDANGOO theme?*#RAW Show goes on a rampage and tries to heave the announcers chairs into the ring. Fails repeatedly. #CrowdChants ONE MORE CHAIR#RAW Show is destroying Randy at ringside. Announcers are trying to make this sound grave. #CrowdChants WE ARE AWESOME#RAW WEEEEEELLLL IT'S THE BIG SHOW Show proceeds to murder everyone in the ring, ending the match. #CrowdChants THANK YOU BIG SHOW YES YES#RAW Orton vs. Sheamus #CrowdChants RANDY SAVAGE! Orton looks helpless. #CrowdChants Y2J! Y2J!#RAW Orton and Sheamus are taking the match home. The crowd gives so little of a shit they begin doing the wave. Sheamus looks helpless.#RAW JBL: "This crowd'll never chant for you, Cole!" #CrowdChants MICHAEL COLE! MICHAEL COLE! #CrowdChants EC-DUB! EC-DUB!