Sign in with Twitter


Actor / Writer / Filmmaker / Blogger / Comedian / Critic / Gamer / Mad Scientist

47 Following   41,717 Followers   59,706 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/19/09

Reverse Tweets
JBL: Sun Tzu once said 'every battle is won before it's ever fought'. // Yeah, Sun Tzu was kinda full of shit sometimes.FUCK'S SAKE, Bradshaw, nobody knows what in the FUCK you're talking about. #HIACBradshaw then follows up his Jay Strongbow reference with repeated cries of "Gettin' jiggy wid it!" A reference from **1997**Bradshaw must think that's the funniest goddamn joke he's ever come up with. He's gonna keep trying it until it works, like the Jerk Store.Good God, Bradshaw made the SAME GODDAMN JOKE about Chief Jay Strongbow. That is seriously like the sixth time he's tried it.As a musician I actually made a legitimate wail of despair when the Dudleyz broke that trombone. #SaveTheTrombonesHey, is that Marky Mark in the #HIAC audience? #Maybe #MaybeNot #MaybeFuckYaselfThat's Old Oerdian for "All men must botch." #ValarMorbotchesIn the Game of D&D, you save or you die. #ValarMorbotches https://t.co/QhDYM6hL5KI know! I thought it'd be higher, too. https://t.co/wKLwPYJjOLTrue fact: the combined age of the three people Seth Rollins has beaten since Night of Champions is 244. #HIAC@HopeWithinChaos I do apologize. I should not have generalized the tone of a show about a transforming bug-man with a motorcycle.
@HopeWithinChaos You thought the show about a transforming bug-man on a motorcycle was a bit hammy?There's a lot of pressure on Del Rio to perform now that he's carrying the U.S. title. Hope he doesn't choke. #HIACGuessing Demon Kane is the fourth? He's at a loose end now.Suppose you can already pencil in a Survivor Series match with Bray / Harper / Vintner / BRAWN STRONGMAN vs. Taker / Ambrose / Reigns / ???JBL: Roman took about 20 shots with that kendo stick. The human body is not designed to take that many. // How many is it designed to take?Cole: THAT TABLE IMPLODED!! // You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. #HIACI think it would have been funnier if Zeb didn't know Cesaro was Swiss, and Cesaro was just fucking with him.I suppose this makes as much sense as Zeb managing Cesaro in a team called the Real Americans.I gots here photergraphic evidence! https://t.co/3n6SIN8vmR #JuanCena #Truther"Ah have it on good ahthurtah you got a Mexkin brother. A feller by the name-a Juan Cena!"Was Zeb asking for John's birth certificate? =PI love the complete non-sequitir Zeb throws into his promo. "Y'know, John Cena-- if that IS yer real name!" ...What?!"THIS HERE MEX'KIN AIN'T A-HERE T'TAKE YOR JORB, JOHN CENA! HE'S HERE T'TAKE YER UNAHT'D STATES CHAMPYUNSHIP!" #DESTINYIt's like Zeb has gone liberal or something. "AH SUPPORT A PATH TEH CIT'ZINSHIP!" #DESTINYI'm still baffled by the idea ADR is being managed... by Zeb Coulter. #UniterProps to Lillian Garcia for remembering where Alberto del Rio is from. =PSo, revision: I punched you in the face, cut an interview about how much you deserved it, then followed you around. "It's ok! We're cool."SHE HASN'T EVEN REALLY APOLOGIZED! She just keeps insisting they're still friends and basically follows Becky AROUND. HOW IS THIS WORKINGActually, it's more like I punched you in the face, cut an interview about how much you deserved it, then fake-apologized, and you bought itIt'd be like if I punched you in the face, and apologized, but an obvious fake apology like "GEE, I'm SORRY." And you still bought it.And for some reason, Charlotte and Becky are falling for it, even though Paige isn't even hiding the fact this is all an act.Like, Charlotte wins the title, Paige comes out disingenuously cheering for her, clearly jealous. WE JUST DID THIS. #HIACAnd are they seriously turning Paige heel again by turning heel the exact same way she turned heel when she turned heel before?Wyatt coming out to threaten the Undertaker might have meant a little more, had Bray not gotten his ass kicked both tonight and at Mania.@TheSpoonyOne "that ... Was for ... Mah dick"
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI would not be surprised if Taker leaves his boots in th=$4 8@#;^¦§§¢ ©¥÷¡ fy] £}} <°¶ ¿¥} @&_% #DAH https://t.co/fBpmiaaM9cThat punch to the Undertaker's #DONG was fucking amazing. It even made sense from a storyline standpoint, with Brock getting revenge.BROCK WITH AN F-5 ON THE WOOD!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!Taker signals that's it! Slashes the throAND BROCK PUNCHES HIM HARD IN THE FUCKING BALLS!!!! HOLY SHIT@!!!2TOMBSTONE ON THE MAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE WOOD! ONE! TWO! THRNOOOOOOOO!!!Brock rips the mat and removes the padding! TAKER GOOZLES HIM AND CHOKESLAMS HIM ON TEH WOODThis match is a highlight reel of moves that are REALLY fucking banned in WWE.Doctor comes in to check Lesnar's cut, LESNAR SHOVES HIM ASIDE AND GIVES TAKER AN F-5!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOO!!!Taker probably figured it's not like Vince can fire him over this, so fuck it.Now Undertaker has gigged. Vince must be going out of his fucking mind right now.Match is back on quickly. I'm surprised. I would have thought they'd clean him up a lot before starting again.Shit, Brock's basically gone full CRIMSON SHROUD. And the doctor is in. Match is stopped.Brock already has gone full CRIMSON MASK and I'm seriously thinking they might stop this match.Taker should have shown up as Booger Red and really thrown Brock off his game. #HIACTHE UNDERTAKER'S #DONG FILLS THE ARENA! #HIACCole: One Cell match in Brock's career! One win! // ((AGAINST THE UNDERTAKER. THE GUY HE IS FACING TONIGHT.)) #HIAC@BirdmanDodd I really don't get it. The whole formula of that show is "character unexpectedly dies because zombie." And yet you're stunned.@BirdmanDodd THAT'S EVERY EPISODE.@BirdmanDodd I'm guessing the spoilers were "everyone was miserable, bickered about shit, and someone died."Huh. So TOR DAEMORN KINKE turned out to not be that big a deal.Two kicks of death AND a huge Guererro frog splash! Kane kicks out!@TheSpoonyOne Rollins rips of Demon Kane's mask. Kane hits the Chokeslam but is disqualified because Corporate Kane interfered. #HitC
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler@TheSpoonyOne https://t.co/tqdNTgPuLr
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI AM THE TABLE #HIAC #RollinsVsKaneI'll bet you what happens is Seth rips Kane's mask off, and Kane loses all his powers like Green Lantern losing his ring.@TheSpoonyOne No! I dont want Koncessions Kane. The RyBack would start harassing him again over protein shakes and tuna subs.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerAh right, yes, they're Koncessions Kane, Khristmas Kane, and Big Daddy Kane.It's okay if Korporate Kane loses his job. There's still Dentist Kane and Wainwright Kane. #HIACSeth: KORPORATE KANE, DEMON KANE, YOU ARE ONE PERSON!! // ONE RIKER ONE BRIDGEAnd the World Champion comes out first. #WRONG #HIACRemember guys: it's not TEH DEEMAN KAEN, it's just DIMAN KAIRME.I met Seth Green, y'know. #NameDrop Dude is really short. Very friendly to me, though! Only maced me once.And then Charlotte just no-sells it to put on a weird Figure-8. Okay.SWEET FANCY JUDAS CHARLOTTE TOOK AN ALABAMA SLAM ON THE RING APRONTOP ROPE REVERSAL AND IT LOOKED LIKE SHITNikki busts out the AA Spinebuster.Charlotte busted open hardway on the nose.Something's missing. Don't know what it is. Oh, right. I'll do it myself. CMAA NIKEEEE! CMAA NIKEEEE! #HIAC #DivasTitleSo everyone's been banned from ringside so there's no interference. Shouldn't every match have a "no interference" stipulation? #HIACNikki gets blatantly DQed in a historic title match. Does Steph restart the match? Nah. #HIACThen the ref starts overacting out the mental anguish of whether he should call for the DQ, like Vader watching the Emperor torture Luke.*ref slowly points at trombone* *ref slooooowly points at Kofi on the mat* *two.... plus two...*I cackled like a madman watching the ref act out the mental process of the Guererro spot.VINTAGE EDDIE GUERERRO!!! #HIAC #TagTeamTitlesHow is that WAZZAP thing NOT an immediate disqualification?!? #HIAC #TagTeamTitlesC'mon Bubba, go for another botchplex! #HIAC #TagTeamTitlesWhat was THAT? #HIAC #Dudleyz #FAAAAATasses #ButtUglyTEAM 3D YOU MUST BE OUTTA YER MINDSSHUT UP ALL OF YOU SHUT UP https://t.co/rWrhEFMA7o.@SonikGav SHUT UP https://t.co/0cKLQ5KpIV@TheSpoonyOne The one on the Yellow Thunderzord did!
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerKofi... unicorn horns don't face backwards. #HIAC #NewDaySucksSo the New Day beats Cena & The Dudleyz clean, so the Dudleyz brutalize and injure Xavier as revenge.Enh. I'll give him credit for good selling, I s'pose. Dude looked near tears after that spear.Just looking at his face, Roman looks like he's actually hurting. Could be wrong.Ooooof, Roman tried to brace himself going through that table with his wrist. That might have legit broken something.Sorry. IT HAS A TOP! AND PINK ROPESI also like how HELL IN A CELL is different from a cage match in that the Cell IS SLIGHTLY LARGER! #HIACThat's so weird: Satan's structure, this evil cage from Hell... but pinfalls still have to be in the ring. #HIACURANAGE THRU TEH TABEL ZORMG!@#~ONE AIN'T ENOUGH MAN I NEED FIVE #HIACGood move, Bray, hitting Roman with a kendo stick right in the flak jacket. #HIACWow, @TheSpoonyOne talks about The Sandman and now there's a Kendo Stick. Spoony as a sorcerer confirmed.
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler