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Actor / Writer / Filmmaker / Blogger / Comedian / Critic / Gamer / Mad Scientist

62 Following   40,018 Followers   41,716 Tweets

Join Twitter 3/19/09

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Taker's the most pissed off he's ever been, screaming that he'll dish out "the biggest ass kicking I have EVER. GIVEN. ANYBODY!"Plus it means getting a match with Bikertaker, so DDP's really just a gloryhound, and everyone's all "...That's it?"And it's... IT'S... ME! IT'S ME! IT'S D-D-P! ...What?! It has nothing to do with Sara. DDP just says it's the only way he can get on Raw.So of course we air this on national TV and eventually let this person just unmask himself with no police involvement live on Raw.It starts off with someone mailing in stalker footage of Bikertaker's wife Sara with the Saw Killer's voice talking about her boobies.The third ought to rank up there with Katie Vick, but was so boring I think people slept through most of it: Stalker Diamond Dallas Page.This has Austin shitting all over himself trying to get Vince on the phone. (Why would you take Sunday night off, of all nights?)The second comes right out of nowhere, started by JR and Paul Heyman that Jericho and/or Benoit might defect to WCW if they win the title.Shane has actually interfered to help Kurt win matches, forcing him to stay in the tournament and tire himself out for their match later.There are three COMPLEX AS HELL storylines taking place parallel in this show. It's wild. The first is Shane's head-games with Kurt Angle.OOOH. They cross-up a move BAD in the corner, and this time Jeff really does torpedo head-first into X-Pac's nuts on accident.X-Pac: I will now run across the ring and run into your head balls first many times, and this will seriously injure you!Light Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. X-Pac (Representing Uncle Kracker) Gillberg LOST?!? #WhosFirstKing of the Ring 2001 in the background while I upload footage to my PC. Weiiiird show in places.
The Stranger's got him hooked in the Phantom Limb Lock!! Black Lantern Hawk can't move! AND THE DEADMAN WITH A SPEAR! http://t.co/rmxWov1RFx@themagicrobshow I wonder, exactly how do you think that helps me?Well, I spent all night editing some weird-ass stuff.RT @ValwinZ @TheSpoonyOne Nothing is meaningless // Ever see "Steven Seagal: Lawman?"@ValwinZ And it's good to know you're the type to get motivated by the most meaningless of causes.Good. He will come to you, and you will bring him before me.@TheSpoonyOne What? They got rid of Baja Blast? My friend in Colorado recently bought a 12-pack at the store.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerY'all don't shut up I'm gonna drink me some Baja out of your hollowed-out fucking skulls.RT @BigJonGoob @TheSpoonyOne The worst Mountain Dew flavor. // *click-click*I would literally kill each and every one of you for a Baja Blast right now.And me? As usual, I end up hating everybody and wishing people would focus on things that really matter. Like bringing back Baja Blast.Journalism will remain as bought-off and as worthless as it has been since the invention of the printing press.And yes, many gamers will remain sexually-repressed cowards hiding on Reddit with no understanding of how other people feel.Shooters will remain every bit as stupid as they have been. Dudes-- shocking, but bear with me-- will still be brutish dick-brained jerks.My point is, this whole sexism angle is a big so-what, cosmically speaking. Murca is not going to ban titties. Won't happen. Porn endures.Last I checked, it wasn't illegal to be an asshole. Okay, so you're not going to like game review sites, but who cares? Free country.@BigJonGoob Oh, never said I expected everyone to react like me. Doesn't matter. Here's a fun one: say you are a sexist pig. So what?@BigJonGoob And I guess for me it comes down to it being a game review on Kotaku, and I just don't care with that clown thinks.@BigJonGoob And I would object to the usage of the words "constant" and "barrage," as if slanderous reviews were raining upon you now.@BigJonGoob No. Because I'm not a sexist pig, and I can block anyone who says otherwise. It's that easy.@BigJonGoob I just really don't get the anger here. I don't. Review: You are a sexist pig. S: Uh. No I'm not. Fuck you. *unsubbed*@BigJonGoob Although seriously man, getting angry & accusing Kotaku of being stupid is like being angry at a banana for being yellow.@BigJonGoob I mean look at that junk. You're right. That's pathetic. They're pathetic. Just shake your head and walk away.@BigJonGoob Maybe not you personally, but enough to blow your estimate of "a few in a population of millions" out of the water.@BigJonGoob You wanted to prove that gamers were not all angry, sexist raging freaks. And then you just dove right in slinging mud.@BigJonGoob This is exactly what I'm talking about. Playground moralizing. "They started it." You had a chance to look smooth.@BigJonGoob An enraged (at best defiant and accusatory) response was catastrophic in regards to a debate where your maturity is in question.@BigJonGoob The biggest weakness the (self-appointed) Gamers have are their abysmal image, Angry, immature, sexist, unstable, dangerous.@BigJonGoob But you never did. It began with threats and mockery and escalated into mass finger-pointing and directionless anger.@BigJonGoob At least this way you retain moral high ground. "We tried," instead of being petulant and stamping your feet demanding blood.@BigJonGoob None. Fuck off. Just stop following the site. That's your vote. That's how things change.@BigJonGoob I do love a good "off with their heads" platform. It lets people know you're not interested in discussion. Saves time.Now here I've killed this guy for no reason.Wh-- Hell, what kind of Scotsman has a 27-inch waist? Thought I'd found a kilt I could use.RT @torantula Dude, I think he died. That neck SNAPPED // Ahh he's had worse. How else y'gonna get the little pissant to shut up?Reed Richards: sass the man, get #TheHand. http://t.co/rQE6BqCTVQThe part that horrifies me most about that picture isn't the insane branding, it's the HORRIBLE ACID-BLASTED DENIM JEANS OH MY GOD.@PatTheNESpunk: Age 6. #NINTENDOID http://t.co/CyJ1UuonDU@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 *grabs ears* I BELIEVE IN YOU. I BO-LIEVE.@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 THESE ARE VIDEO GAMES. For God's sake, you will endure. You will find your own way.@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 You HAVE to be joking. You're turning game criticism into something I MAY HAVE TO RECUSE MYSELF FROM?@TheShaunBass @EegahTaki @Merlynn27 "I'm afraid I may find the portrayal of police and court procedure here a little too silly."@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 I mean, "disclose everything"? For my review of Phoenix Wright? "Sorry, I can't. My brother is a cop."@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 Now you're demanding a clinical, robotic, and the driest, saddest review of Mario Party 13 imaginable.@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 *sigh* I just want to shake you until you get it. "It's game reviews. It's game reviews."@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 That way, if there's any of that feminist crap in a review, the censor can redact it and alert HQ.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass I personally think there should be a censor installed by 4Chan at each network to ensure neutrality.@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 Will 4Chan have a tribunal convened to judge and sentence these journalists?@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 Honest journalists! I like it. We will find all the liars in every media outlet and fire them. Done.@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 I desperately want to hear the endgame here. Please. You have the smoking gun of corruption and truth.@TheShaunBass @EegahTaki @Merlynn27 You're not listening. You wanted an investigation. I investigated. You're right. You've won. Now what?@TheShaunBass @EegahTaki @Merlynn27 Yeah. Let them continue. Stop reading. Start your own sites. Surpass them. THAT IS THE AMERICAN WAY.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass It casts sharp doubts on your "Defenders of Journalism" story. Myself, I call full-on bullshit.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass How does age excuse payoffs? It does not, which is exactly my point. It does not excuse your inaction.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass You're summing up a lot of acts including your perception of intrusive social values under "corruption."@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass Do me a favor: stop saying "corruption." You swing it around like a mace, a catch-all OOH scary term.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass Did any of you care then? Of course not. An "investigation." Investigate my cock. Stop reading the site.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass Game review journalism has been worthless nigh on 15+ years. The majority has been paid company fellatio@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass An investigation?! Of what? By who? Proving what? "Corruption?" Bitch, let me solve this one for you.@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass All I HEAR from you is whining and complaining and not one solution. What do you want, layoffs? Pillory?@EegahTaki @TheShaunBass @Merlynn27 The melodrama from you people is just endless. Could you cry and moan and act any more oppressed?@EegahTaki @Merlynn27 @TheShaunBass I love how you twist it to "in favor of CORRUPTION" like I wave a flag saying "GO CORRUPTION GO!"
@TheSpoonyOne @PatTheNESpunk This needs to become a meme. http://t.co/sWgK1puAIP
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerRT @oniryu123 @TheSpoonyOne I think I smell anther tekken review http://t.co/cGdyDjy0NE // Did you know I reviewed Final Fantasy X?PUUUUTTTTTEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSS http://t.co/DBzS5ttfm3@TheShaunBass And essentially, the party line here is, "You think YOU'RE the victim here? Quit your crying, woman. GAMES ARE AT STAKE!"@TheShaunBass YOUR games. There are people telling you-- forget journalists-- people, telling you this is a problem.@TheShaunBass Yes yes, "not all of us!" I've heard it. But once again, you've still diverted the issue into your personal problem.@TheShaunBass And at this point, your stubbornness on making this some us-against-them war is bordering on comedy.@TheShaunBass *shakes head* The sooner you make this about the issue and not about the people, the faster you'll make a difference."Born with the Taint, thou were, and die with the Taint, thou shalt!" So did Gamers blame the angels who made them so & warred upon Heaven.And down were the gamers cast into Gehenna, and Cursed were they named. Morloks and Outcast. "Begone from our sight, thou unholy filth!"Wow. And lo, there was weeping, and gnashing of teeth, and the gamers tore their clothes and donned sackcloth. Melodramatic pricks.@Toast3y @TheSpoonyOne Nope. Youre a piece of shit the minute you first held a controller or used a keyboard to play games. Indoctrination.
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler@Toast3y This isn't about YOU. And the fact so many of you don't understand that is becoming very disturbing.Ugh. I want to complain about John Cena, but I'm too tired to come up with a reason. SOMEONE GO ON REDDIT SO I DON'T HAVE TO THINK.RT @msfty @TheSpoonyOne Just tweeted a pic I found on reddit guy. // Yeah. Pretty much how everyone argues online instead of... arguing.@msfty No. I'm calling you a nerd, and you shoddily called out the shoddy journalistic practices of one big site.RT @Zerglinator @TheSpoonyOne @JacksonTPower Well you use Joker and Palpatine quotes a lot.. // I *AM* A SUPERVILLAIN, FOOL.RT @JacksonTPower Real change can't happen until the previous generation dies // You do realize that's what supervillains say, right?RT @BHoldeer @TheSpoonyOne You cannot kill what's already dead // And yet they move.Nails and coffins. Do you want reforms, or do you want burials?@TheSpoonyOne Either way you slice it, this incident has put the final nail in Kotaku's coffin. Not to mention, Polygon, RPS, and a others.
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler"A little later on" is both vague and something we have to take on as much blind trust as Kotaku's allegedly misleading photo.Although if we're going to call into question journalistic integrity here, neither picture has truly established a timeframe.