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Actor / Writer / Filmmaker / Blogger / Comedian / Critic / Gamer / Mad Scientist

41 Following   41,813 Followers   55,209 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/19/09

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Khali dumps Punk! Khali dumps Chavo! Khali dumps Bob Van Dam! HBK starts... chopping Khali? This does not work AND HBK EATS A TREE SLAM.Khali starts shambling around half-heartedly headbutting everyone in the ring. #29 is the Miz, who Khali dumps in literally 4 seconds.#28 is TEH GRAYT KHALI!! Cole starts moaning, "Oh no... OH NO..."The timer calms down and I SPIT INDE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO BE COOL. The fuck does that mean?!I'd swear Super Crazy was never eliminated; he just evaporated in a cloud of irrelevance. The timer starts hyperventilating and it's MVP!Kevin Vampire Guy is inexplicably getting the heat on that guy I don't know who it is. The timer panics and here comes OOoooOOOH CHAVOOOOHBK wipes out Finlay! He kicks out Viscera! He takes out Shelton! Bob Holly starts stinking up the joint! Here comes TEH MASTARPIECE!BREAK IT DOWN! Here comes Shawn Michaels! He starts killing Finlay! Everyone else is busy humping Viscera. Yes, I just said that.@TheSpoonyOne Better known by RVD as "Kevin Vampire Dude".
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerSPARKY PLUGG! BOB HOLLY! He squares off against The World's Largest Love Machine like Hogan staring down Warrior! IT. IS. ON!KEVIN THORN!!! WE HAVE A VAMPIRE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Ariel and her ass aren't with him, and the crowd dismisses him instantly.Oh for fuck's sake, it's Viscera in his moo-moo wearing "world's largest love machine" gimmick. The crowd is completely dead now.KEENG BOOKEH is the annual "guy who gets eliminated, then runs back in to throw out the guy who got him" dude. JBL feverishly defends this.I just realized that... fucking guy probably wins this year. Strange I don't remember that, and I suddenly don't feel like watching anymore.Then some guy I don't know who it is emerges. He fucking sucks though and deserves to be forgotten, I'm sure.The Rated RKO team is reunited and disposes of the Hardys like a couple of dorks.HEY! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY! NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE WHAT YOU DONE TO MEEEE! Randy immediately starts duking it out with... Matt?!Sandman (now powerless without his Metallica theme) canes some geeks and is dumped in 5 seconds by Kane. Thanks for playing.Jeff Hardy is out to reunite the Hardyz, and actually goes 2 minutes before the Sandman spends 5 minutes getting to the ring.Swear to God, it can't have been more than 40 seconds after KEENG BUKAAAH that Super Crazy comes out to the sound of a lawnmower.JBL: He says he don't drink! He don't do drugs! I call that boring! (...What?!) It's KEENG BOOKAH!!Out comes Kane, and the ring-clearing begins. Tommy's gone! Sabu GETS CHOKESLAMMED OUT THROUGH A TABLE! IT'S THE UP-AND-COMING CM PUNK!Shane does nothing. It's clear with the rapid-fire timers that they're filling the ring for a giant to go on a rampage.Sabu spends much of the time setting up a table on the outside, and sucking. Crowd loves him. THEN IT'S SUGAR SHANE HELMS!!!Tommy Dreamer is out after 30 seconds. The crowd goes eerily silent. The timer panics and SABU emerges in about 15 seconds.2 minutes. Whatever. It wasn't even 2. Edge-time, but strangely Matt goes on his comeback. Ric gets dumped with no fanfare. Kenny is out.Matt Hardy emerges; no one cares. The buzzer sounds and NO WAY was that three minutes-- YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLYThey were actually giving KENNY a push with three consecutive victories over Ric. I repeat, they gave KENNY a push-- WHOOOoooAAA YEAAAAAHHH!As predicted, Finlay FUCKING DECKS Ric, who immediately starts giving him receipts with brutal chops. LOOK OUT! IT'S KENNY DYKSTRA!! PFFF!!This should be awesome. Ric and Finlay are going to stiff the SHIT out of each other.Kicking it off is WOOOOOOOO Ric vs FIT FINLAY!!!Pff. Sandman picks his number. Yeah. THAT'LL happen. Hak chugs a beer and tosses the number aside, unseen. "Like it matters." He knows.Also notable is Cole's adorable and hilarious attempt at a mustache & soul-patch, and JBL howling about Mr. Kennedy being the future of WWE.Cena goes full crimson mask and wins by strangling OOMANGGA~!~ to death with the ring rope. Awkward.Watching Rumble '07. We got Cena vs. UUMANGA!~! in a Last Man Standing match. Ladies and gentlemeeeen! Everybody listen-- haha!--...TO ME!Part 2 of #CounterMonkey - The Apocalypse Stone is available for early screening for patrons only! http://t.co/dhPCMtpWZxI reduced a bunch more prices, so get them now before they're gone! So many bargains won't last long! https://t.co/GQxgmUr62I
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler@Karmic_Mishap Exactly. So eat the loss. You're spared two years of ruin, and in two years you've got the edge.RT @DigtheDiglett Let's Just make Oreo president. She'll do a good job. // She's good puppeh. ^o.o^@Karmic_Mishap They've got everything to lose. They have to consider the future, namely the state of Congress in two years.And again, we could be talking about LITERAL self-destruction, as I can't say for certain whether or not he'd launch nukes on day 1.RT @manicscarecrow @TheSpoonyOne well that depends, how much do they hate democrats? // Quite a lot. But they hate self-destruction more.At the same time, I simply *can not* see the GOP supporting him, even as an official candidate, in any way. They'd rather eat the loss.He's managed to single out the lunatic fringe of conservative voters, and it's bigger than anyone expected.The problem for the GOP is that when Trump gets knocked out of the primaries, he's running as an independent, which screws them. Hard.@AwesomeAJx8 Sadly, "I don't give a fuck" does not really work well in the realm of international diplomacy. It tends to end it.Or, to put it another way: when Fox News thinks you're out of your fucking gourd? WHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!There's solidarity, and then there's a party putting the literal continued existence of mankind ahead of politics.And before you tell me about party-solidarity or whatnot, consider this: Trump would (in theory) have his finger on the Red Button.The GOP National Convention could easily be a train wreck, with delegates nominating a guy the party representative won't support.Man oh man, I'm seriously beginning to think the GOP leadership would rather actively support a Democratic Party candidate over Trump.@DoctorOddfellow Sellout.RT @MatthewBrinerPA She's talking about you, @TheSpoonyOne. https://t.co/3Bxl3Nlu5E // FUCKING #CHUCKLES!!!@TheSpoonyOne Lo and behold. http://t.co/alYbxr9Z6n
Retweeted by Noah Antwiler
#CounterMonkey - The Apocalypse Stone (Part 1) http://t.co/youGR9AkHG Someone pulled the toothpick out of the Cosmic Cheeseburger.
Dude backhanded her so hard SHE WENT AIRBORNE. Jesus.SHE FELL DOWN STAIRS. RIGHT, JANET? http://t.co/Jj9oan0hfzAnd in Hank's case, he slaps Janet around wherever he feels like. She doesn't complain. DO YOU, JANET.I don't see what her problem is. Guys slap each other on the ass all the time. It's team bonding. *dodges a hail of bullets*#AndThenThereWasThatOneTime Daredevil signed his own death warrant. http://t.co/8NBXJJeX0IWell, y'know, it's the personal touch-- the details-- that make the Joker special.Some men just want to watch the world burn. #WeKillTheBatman http://t.co/o0zntzhK0pRT @ThatStrohl @TheSpoonyOne I had the same reaction to that U2 album that Apple forced onto my phone. / Is Batman thinking at the narrator?It's simple, #WeKillTheBatman. http://t.co/Uuw2kNz0Zm@wilw LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS!!!El técnico ha ganada! El Depredador es el nuevo campeón !#RKOdeLaNadaDIOS MÍO! RKO A TRAVÉS DE LA MESA DEL PRESENTADOR ESPAÑOL!!!I think the only guy who ever got over with a "this guy is boring" gimmick was Steve Blackman. Because he also killed men with sticks.Christian's gimmick going into this match is that he's a crybaby, and everyone says he's boring. Yeah, that'll get him over.Edge gets COMPLETELY blown up just doing his entrance. Weird how much his condit-- I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD THEY COUNSEL ME THEY UNDERSTAND#YouThinkYouKnowMe... ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLYChristian announces that he will be accompanied by... THE RATED-R... ssuuuUuUUUuperstar... EDGE!!!Yes. He won via spit.@TheSpoonyOne christian and spitting into randy orton's mouth
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerWatching Summerslam 2011. Trivia: who was World Heavyweight Champion going into the show, and what move did he use to win it?Yeah, keep using Harden. SEE WHAT HAPPENS. Oreo: ^o.o^Do you WANT Misty to fuck you up? Because that's what's going to happen. Misty. Will. CRUSH you. Oreo: ^o.o^No not METAPOD god damn it... Why don't you LISTEN to me?? Oreo: ^o.o^SQUIRTLE? For fuck's sake, I'm calling this off.DUMB dog. And BAD. BAD. Oreo: ^o.o^She typed OREP. Dumb dog...RT @NTom64 @TheSpoonyOne What starter did she choose. This is EXTREMELY important. // We're still at the name entry part...My livestream of "Bitch Plays Pokémon" is not going well. Oreo keeps dropping the damn DS.**HEX VISION** https://t.co/ZFEHDYULgc@BigChapAlien @TheSpoonyOne V'GER is a child. I suggest we treat it as such.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerThe Twitter Unit will answer.@TheSpoonyOne It knows only that it needs, Commander. But, like so many of us... it does not know what.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerV'GER needs answers. V'GER needs Ameebo.@TheSpoonyOne to achieve perfection, it needs a human element. The carbon units are not infesting the game. They are the Creator.
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerThis is why I search. V'GER must seek this perfection.@TheSpoonyOne How can you improve on that which is perfect? #LordOfTekken
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerI was told Ameebo is used to make me gooder at video game. I am good at video game already so I must know how.Ameebo, state designation and primary function. ... I do not like Ameebo.I do not understand Ameebo.Ameebo, run program. ... Ameebo, turn on. ...How does it fit into my WiiBox? https://t.co/FYwCBvtB0WThese... a-mee-boes. I find myself in need of one. Bring me this "a-mee-bo."@TheSpoonyOne Good
Retweeted by Noah AntwilerYouuu killed meeEEeeeee...