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I'm a stand up comic & professional socializer. My Sexy Podcast. Writer on ABC's The Mayor. Transparent. INSTA-STORYING MY LIFE/DOG AWAY- sabrinajalees

1,415 Following   12,746 Followers   6,727 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/23/09


Very rarely do networks actually pick a solid group of comedians to feature. This is one of those times where they… https://t.co/YVEfZ27NYd
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @SaraRooker SO SWEET ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️OMG OMG OMG https://t.co/hHPoC6L7af
6/22
2018
I'm hosting this banger lineup tomorrow and you bet your ASS a tinder guy will be there https://t.co/hqe7fmuPKa
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesWhy am I running for Congress against a Tea Party Republican in Texas? It all started with a door: https://t.co/fuNyjLzIqM
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
6/21
2018
NEW: I just spoke with the former head of US Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) – He tells me that he expects… https://t.co/t0XmwGvk9r
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @JFLMTL @TEDx THX BBBBBBBBB 💋Getting our #WednesdayWisdom today from @sabrinajalees's @TEDx Talk on living honestly. Not only is our… https://t.co/agPcIjceVL
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesColleen Kraft, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics, visited a Texan shelter for migrant children and sa… https://t.co/2K9uN2j62e
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
6/20
2018
There is no excuse for inflicting these abuses and trauma on children. The Administration must immediately reverse… https://t.co/hQjCEtyUsv
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesIT IS TORTURE TO TAKE A BABY FROM HER OR HIS PARENTS. TORTURE FOR THE BABY AND FOR THE MOM AND DAD. AND WITH NO INF… https://t.co/uDsrSNqVyi
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
6/19
2018
.@SabrinaJalees is our newest #pridemonth #ArtistoftheWeek. This #InNoutBurger and @Drake loving comedian tears up… https://t.co/2ti62s7Vrq
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesDoctors say irreparable harm is being done to children being separated from parents. One staff member at a detent… https://t.co/RS30i1soaH
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesThe Chief of the United Nations Human Rights Commission says that what the United States is doing taking children f… https://t.co/WAcCOFZDpT
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
6/18
2018
GO TUCKER GO! https://t.co/MfRsKwnVPw
6/17
2018
@emmyblotnick @GlitterCheese LORD HIIIIU @BrentPiaskoski @NetflixIsAJoke @PhilNWang @taylortomlinson @ItsJakKnight @TimJDillon @SamJayComic ❤️❤️ thank you Brent!
6/14
2018
15 minutes is plenty of time to kill. The Comedy Lineup part 1, coming July 3. https://t.co/QyURghoGlc
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @erinfoleycomic ❤️❤️❤️⚔️⚔️⚔️❤️❤️❤️INTERNATIONAL LIFE! https://t.co/6G1PRmgqgsFinally, official word that Netflix's 15 minute comedy specials will debut July 3! Looking forward to seeing these… https://t.co/e945UboJUj
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesTHIS! https://t.co/nOA5FBZASr
6/13
2018
Can’t stop watching this. https://t.co/oyRSIpc2rr
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees🙄did the police come arrest you and your writers? did twitter shut down your account? kay. then u had freedom of sp… https://t.co/eXZUFLcPmn
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesI CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SUCH A TRUE STUD MIFFIN AND @GlitterCheese IS A TRUE SEX POT AND @jakewil IS A TRUE GENIUS... W… https://t.co/2jC2wop0rQTo mark the 20th anniversary of “Mulan,” let’s all remember the bonkers op-ed Mike Pence wrote about how the movie… https://t.co/SQXsJxudYQ
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesLol https://t.co/L8xVVNElFk
6/6
2018
If God doesn’t like gay people, then why do we look like perfect angels & homophobes look like God didn’t even try?
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
6/5
2018
Here are just a few to get you started: @matteolane, @fortunefunny, @SabrinaJalees. #PrideMonth https://t.co/IDNmdQYfML
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
6/1
2018
TONIGHT AT GENGHIS COHEN wow!!!!! @PhilanthropyGal @johnnypemberton @SabrinaJalees @robertdean @Gertie_Birdhttps://t.co/8cCxKt2pwh
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/30
2018
This is a moral abomination, and a national shame. We’ll be covering it tonight. https://t.co/oJxREV5kA1
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesThis is one of the most awful things I've heard of in my entire life. The Trump administration has created a new… https://t.co/c5KQPGImtI
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/26
2018
hets: idk she lives like an hour away, that's too far lesbians: https://t.co/digWMN1XDr
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/22
2018
Me when one of my zany schemes finally pays off: https://t.co/4S2Px38qgL
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/20
2018
If being gay was a choice, I would’ve chosen to be gayer.
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/18
2018
Yanni or Laurel? Don't ask me. I can't hear sh*t
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/17
2018
I think my best worst quality is if you have a certain kind of face I will feel compelled to tell you 4 stories in… https://t.co/9fitDhw9RH
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/16
2018
Ladies and Gentlemen, Congresswoman Maxine Waters.👊🔥 https://t.co/XHIIu5hD7Y
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesTip: If you love a show, talk about it while it’s still on the air. Help them out. Hype them up. Like me and pump r… https://t.co/Z16g0nsqt0
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/11
2018
@DanaPiccoli @wearewildfang ❤️If Cardi B did sound effects for Star Wars https://t.co/vyD54Xbj57
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/9
2018
@nickmougis @toneBell @MatteoLane @MrWillMiles @JoshJohnson https://t.co/AmbuoGp7zU
5/8
2018
Been editing a lot of standup for Netflix and Comedy Central recently. Here are five comedians I’ve loved cutting… https://t.co/nG3let1IIs
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/7
2018
https://t.co/dqLshTINdY
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
5/2
2018
Michelle Wolf was criticized not just by partisan defenders of the president, but by members of the press, too. I’d… https://t.co/R0E3ptMnuq
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesWhy are you guys making this about Sarah’s looks? I said she burns facts and uses the ash to create a *perfect* smo… https://t.co/ojdyhgIHhR
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesIf you think the @michelleisawolf #whcd speech was controversial you are NOT ready for our failed webseries https://t.co/sKCiQsaEy3
4/30
2018
I imagine there's some comfort in imagining a future without racism and projecting that onto the present. Thinking… https://t.co/esUaXzuCRh
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesKanye: my MAGA hat is signed! Twitter: https://t.co/B20PVzJtwZ
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/26
2018
NEW! @sabrinajalees throws magical Vermont weddings, falls in love at first sight, and has a vibe that attracts the… https://t.co/njeLq6nj0P
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesThe show I'm hosting this Sunday 4-22 at 8 at @HollywoodImprov is so packed w funny that the fact that it benefits… https://t.co/tig5aiL3BT
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/20
2018
The President’s Approval Ratings: White People - some Immigrants - Negative Million Black People - Elevendy Hund… https://t.co/XG4UOxNv3b
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/19
2018
Hey @gwenstefani this is @chancetherapper you’re both some of my dearest and sweetest friends. Link up! Gwen pls br… https://t.co/hejBeraF6R
4/18
2018
heyLA @TheVirgil 8pm tonight @HotTub_Show @imandyhaynes @SabrinaJalees @mandelino @ScottThompson_ @ahamedweinberghttps://t.co/2mEBugxaC2
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/16
2018
@QTPiK8 HIIIIIIIII! It me!!!!
4/14
2018
Tickets are still available for the Liberal Guilt Comedy Show with @AndyRichter @SarahKSilverman @steveageehttps://t.co/Su4c2GeLRT
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/13
2018
Fuck this. Fuck these women. Black people can’t do anything without some nasty ass person saying shit. https://t.co/xSyU1dfVZW
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/10
2018
JOSH is a roving comedy pop-up in private homes hosted by me + @captaindingbat 4/13 we are in a craftsman in Pasade… https://t.co/l9wAfP1BZd
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
4/5
2018
@gibbagibgib I BET YOU CAN GET A SNAP BACK EXTENDER AND SNAP BACK THE NIGHT!
4/4
2018
Comedian Aparna Nancherla is everywhere right now. And she's finding the humor in her anxiety https://t.co/SAWXyWqXDU
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @bonniemcfarlane ITS OUT HBD HBD HBD! @naderade12 WHOmicroblading is when you only go rollerblading a little bit
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @TheRealHameed @NorQuest hi Amaan! Thanks for reaching out I had a great time!! @thelizzypearl @thepatkelly hi hi hi! Send an email to sams@avalon-usa.com ❤️❤️ sounds like a dream gig :)
3/28
2018
Next baby’s name is Emma Gonzalez. https://t.co/rj5vf1OErm
3/25
2018
Tonight! At @TheSanFernando in #Glendale! I do comedy with @BrookeVanPop @SabrinaJalees and @Rojo perezzz and mor… https://t.co/l2m4oZf9tF
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
3/20
2018
HAPPY IRISH DAY!!! https://t.co/Jf5e0aquIW
3/17
2018
@NorQuest I had a great time- great crowd and so nice to meet some of you after :)SHE. MY. FRIEND. SHE. V. FUNNY. https://t.co/dxY97b9zpAThe people who need to really see & absorb this, won’t. But here you go. Enjoy today’s latest stunning hypocrisy https://t.co/mkRZ1faez3
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @DonovanWoods HEY I MISS YOU AND YOUR HEAVEN VOICE! @tompowercbc Title Pitch: Turn-Key Turkeys (we'd have to wear turkey costumes but it'd be worth it)I loved talking to @SabrinaJalees and look forward to CBC giving us our deserved Property Brothers show. https://t.co/hD9iQRZjIa
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees
3/16
2018
Wow. Dis my life henny? 🧚🏼‍♂️ https://t.co/WBGGVWcF57
Retweeted by Sabrina JaleesTODAY on q: Frank Oz (@TheFrankOzJam) of #TheMuppets & #SesameStreet | @cbcbooks #CanadaReads panellist Mozhdah Jam… https://t.co/74rUxRLOFJ
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @GlitterCheese CARAMEL!The Daily Mail published an article claiming that ‘no one is 100% straight’ and this is possibly my favourite comme… https://t.co/SzYuKqy7cd
Retweeted by Sabrina Jalees @DebraDiGiovanni Wolfie has em! Sign of artistic geniusssssss 💃🏽
3/15
2018

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