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The only mouse in comedy 🐁

764 Following   197,560 Followers   1,052 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/15/09


@fox_janine @Shell_Kendall @gillinghamjoe @RonJichardson They are from @IrregularChoice , all their shoes are completely magic! 🧚🏽‍♂️#teamharem https://t.co/TjpMO4dh5S
5/25
2018
Look at this baby angel in her ‘repeal the 8th’ fashion. All the love and hope to the voters tmrw, to all those tra… https://t.co/CKBvi40INa @katsonstage Hello- Idk what I said exactly, I think the point I was trying to make was that even when monarchy was… https://t.co/cb9oR7VEql @Shell_Kendall @gillinghamjoe @RonJichardson It was THE BEST and I will always treasure the memory!
5/24
2018
@labpedro @idilsukan Amazing!! 👑
5/23
2018
@idilsukan Idil this is so incredibly lush!!! ❤️
5/22
2018
@thegriefcast NUMBER ONE 💪🏼👏🏼👻
5/21
2018
If your attention span is short, so is my film! https://t.co/trwT5tMoHt ❤️ @hannahmacleod6 Woooohoooo ❤️
5/20
2018
@steenrasko Peppa? Like peppa BIG?
5/18
2018
@TobyonTV Sure x
5/17
2018
@AngelaBarnes BEAUTIFUL arms xxxx
5/16
2018
@MrNishKumar They are a free range source of protein and revenge. @MrNishKumar Hey as a vegan I would love a ‘gammon’ alternative, pls advise?
5/15
2018
@phlaimeaux You’re being advertised during scrabble games!! https://t.co/b0lhv6SaNh @Wendy_Wason You should say Oh-bergine and save time.
5/14
2018
@elliegibson @sj3girl @MyFavMurder I was there!! It was the best!!
5/13
2018
My short film about love and sex is up if you fancy watching? https://t.co/trwT5tMoHt 💋 https://t.co/yOXS7n2WWU
5/12
2018
You can shake peoples hands if it’s not too busy. High-Five if you’re a cool person.Improve your rush-hour commute by standing at the doors and saying ‘hello’ to everyone who gets on! 🚎
4/30
2018
Whoever is designing jeans these days needs support, counselling and medication.
4/3
2018
I was mostly joking 😝 https://t.co/MxJqNy0A3t
3/27
2018
🤠 Lets all agree you’ll come &see me on tour 🍄https://t.co/46tIup727c https://t.co/aY2aR8lxHT
3/12
2018
I am the luckiest woman, I got to go on @dollyalderton podcast LOVE STORIES https://t.co/vZyLXc2E5Q I loved Dolly’s… https://t.co/phZhWtXkeR
3/10
2018
Rachel’s book is SO important and is brilliantly written 📚❤️ https://t.co/6GPXUI9nJH
3/9
2018
@piersmorgan You’re not wrong- there’s nothing wrong with wanting some simple pleasure without the politics. But as… https://t.co/75eyWKi7M6This is PERFECT! Being forced to endure unwanted behaviour against your will is the EXACT issue, you’ve nailed this… https://t.co/oCCiaW0qQd
3/2
2018
They say it’s lonely living alone, but everyday I open my eyes to this happy smiling face and know we’re gonna be j… https://t.co/ilVkiyMwZQ
2/24
2018
This sexy otter has made me feel better about how short my legs are #bodypositive https://t.co/gqq7HlkT8v
2/17
2018
@MrNishKumar DID I DO YOUR GIG SO YOU COULD GO CINEMA? https://t.co/V3hT9GJFm5
2/16
2018
I want my country back. https://t.co/axR68elQTE
2/13
2018
It's true, i'm going on tour! L👀k here or join my mailing list 👇🏼https://t.co/vm4VCKIv0S https://t.co/KtIN1dK3jo
2/1
2018
I’ve invented Lemsip icecream for people with a fever. Is this feverish delirium or a really great idea?
1/24
2018
Peter Stringfellow is a great name for a tampon.
1/16
2018
👇🏼https://t.co/rW3oPeYO8d
1/3
2017
I miss him 🦂https://t.co/301z33TLTY
12/29
2017
You can change ‘Happy Christmas’ to ‘Abi Titmuss’ and all the songs still make sense. 🤶🏻
12/25
2017
When people write to tell me I'm not good at comedy, I reply "Well you're not good at fan mail" then we all laugh &they are proved wrong.
10/10
2017
I can't decide whether to go to hot yoga or lie down & hope to die where I am.
10/9
2017
Accidentally tagged myself on a picture of my ex boyfriends new baby.
9/26
2017
It's so crass to retweet compliments so let me just tell you, humbly, that I get absolutely millions.
9/25
2017
my adaptation of Pride and Prejudice has been published so you can put it on for your parents ❤️https://t.co/ddmRZa4hvu
9/18
2017
worst part of being single is when you're about to take off on a plane and you have no one to text "if I die you can't have my money" to.
9/17
2017
I'm @RonJichardson tonight https://t.co/51npSf5sRg
9/15
2017
Also I've never been to China which is how I know it's not there. https://t.co/0kqnjnFUgG
9/8
2017
Hey @thepope I think I found your girlfriend's bracelet? https://t.co/M2SiHQx5LtA winning solution to Page 3 from @SaraPascoe... 😂🗞 #LiveAtTheApollo https://t.co/850BssED2q
Retweeted by Sara Pascoe
9/5
2017
People going on about how great it is to have 'loved ones' don't know the joy of listening to true crime podcasts 16 hours a day.
8/2
2017
🧐 https://t.co/ikdoUI3nAR
7/26
2017
I've decided I WILL have children only so they can make me proud by going on Love Island.
7/24
2017
Maybe i'll write a novel about some Harem Pants that come to life just to kill themselves.
7/21
2017
My sister is getting married tmrw, should I start the "oh Jeremy Corbyn" chant during vows or wait for reception?
7/7
2017
🤠 https://t.co/mMCAHBVWcJ
6/15
2017
A LADYBIRD JUST DID A WEE ON ME!
5/29
2017
GUYS, I am on a train and I can see someone reading my book. Shall I go sit on her lap? Offer to read it aloud for her? What is protocol?
4/20
2017
All these products claiming to be 'ideal gift for mum' don't know her at all. She only likes SlimFast, cats and rewriting the past.PRESS PLEASE NOTE: I will now only be interviewed with goats. https://t.co/QUYYiU0JA8
3/24
2017
BOOKS OF THE MONTH!!! 😋☺️😍 https://t.co/ki4miuX1Dh
3/6
2017
At 6.45pm tonight I will be trying not to puke on myself LIVE on @BBCOne #letssinganddance #rednoseday https://t.co/LPd5hbeew1
3/4
2017
Sweet children, the paperback of my book Animal is published today! And it's super cheap from @Waterstoneshttps://t.co/grUMqDUWxw
3/2
2017
Please read about Andy and sign if you have a moment. It's so vital people know about this and that his family get… https://t.co/aTzjIfx7Gl
2/4
2017
I like my men like I like my coffee; making me anxious.
1/15
2017
Am I due on my period or does the moon look lonely?
1/11
2017
New Character Idea: InstaGramps. He is vain and loves clean eating but can't work the camera on his phone.
1/7
2017
My best friend had a baby and I'm SO GLAD she finally knows someone who cries more than me.
1/6
2017
I just unfriended someone on Facebook because of her stomach muscles.
1/5
2016
Guys- I joined Instagram like a young person. Come find me @sara.pascoe- NOT YOU EGGS OF HATRED 🍳 Xxx
12/30
2016
So when Lena Dunham says she wishes she had an abortion everyone has a go at her, but when my mum says it my birthday party was ruined.
12/21
2016
Christmas presents = unwrapping proof that the people you love don't know you at all.
12/19
2016
Bitch told me she was dead. https://t.co/u1eRAI2cyH
12/13
2016
It's winter, shall we play a game of 'legs or really really hairy hotdogs'?This will all be over one day #mondaymotivation
12/12
2016
Dear Wine, I love you my self-inflicted lobotomy. XCheck out our favourite books of 2016 on https://t.co/wFltexnt3K and share yours! #Booksof2016 https://t.co/2OdK6WTmf7
Retweeted by Sara Pascoe
12/11
2016
I really hope that this year, it's Claudia and Tess that are secretly banging.
12/10
2016
I blush with the joy of inclusion and will use my Christmas book vouchers to buy all the others! https://t.co/4tLuaEDvE5
12/8
2016
In my school Nativity I played The Donkey, which is the most unhygienic instrument.
11/29
2016

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