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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular. https://t.co/rJNCGU9GhH

36,120 Following   68,614,765 Followers   14,336 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08


Bitches up in the crib. https://t.co/Lf06P0T3A0 @NICKIMINAJ 🦄👩🏾‍🎤🎤.@RealRobinWright is stunning, strong and talented, and an incredible role model. And now she can kick your booty.… https://t.co/qXqzaMDZYSAccording to @NickiMinaj, I'm officially in a rap feud. https://t.co/jqDb6FjBEhI thought you should have your own emoji, @NickiMinaj. https://t.co/A6uv1AOV5n.@NickiMinaj inspired me so much by giving back to her fans, so I had a special surprise for her. https://t.co/C8QQXYYLzh.@NickiMinaj spilled the tea on her relationship with Nas. https://t.co/RzHaNm5H8a https://t.co/3ujFpFhM2DGiving back always fills me with love and hope, and so often it's thanks to @Shutterfly. #LaughDancePartner https://t.co/xfAhxcAWzQ
5/23
2017
Sending you so much love. https://t.co/tEtfa90NrSThis story is so sad and so scary. Sending all my love to Manchester.I played a new game "Prom Dress or Craigslist Couch?" How many of you could play this at your house right now?… https://t.co/LalKHqcDmXDating can be stressful. Thankfully, here’s some of my guests with their dating secrets. #LaughDancePartner https://t.co/0hE5bRifBgMy new friend Tamika was so special, I had two surprises for her. First was her family… https://t.co/TuDrMt6ZnS https://t.co/wZeFdWsbej.@JessicaSimpson is a performer, a designer, a mom, and owns a billion-dollar business. https://t.co/RINGLz1aXcBianca is 8 years old and her hip-hop skills are already off the charts. https://t.co/1aF0p5sFa2 https://t.co/SnCsBTHXgBHappy Monday @TheEllenShow https://t.co/ocBECrcXNS
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresI challenged @JessicaSimpson to a game of sumo @HeadsUp! I can't tell if she won or if I lost.… https://t.co/2vphYgly0x
5/22
2017
Happy birthday, Mama! https://t.co/cSXgxaPnng
5/20
2017
Sunday is the Billboard Music Awards! Don't just sit there. Go see it for yourself. I'm giving away tickets! #BBMAs https://t.co/2CNwWZNGIVMatt and Marie, I think you’ve really got something. I hope you stick with it. #FirstDatesWow, this show is so real. Dating is hard. Keep your head up, Doug. #FirstDatesFor the record, I love people who take selfies, Kyle. #FirstDatesOh, the joys of dating. Luckily, I made it easy for you to watch right from home. #FirstDates is on in an hour! https://t.co/o6QD1PUKVbYou’re hired. 🙂 https://t.co/jRwCqz7efeThe World’s Most Beautiful (and wonderful) person is here today! https://t.co/l2KxJKpyo0This mother and daughter accomplished something incredible together. Nothing can stop them now. #LaughDancePartnerhttps://t.co/ldEmWjgFmxJulia Roberts went to Kenya to support #RedNoseDay. You can support it right here. https://t.co/Hc7GUkTRTW https://t.co/qOvtkymUNPMy friend Julia Roberts has some twin advice for our friend George Clooney. https://t.co/FJrgTanIGQ
5/19
2017
Someone's asleep on the job. https://t.co/Wcpyaq0mjhWho better to help me with a sexy guys round of @HotHands than @NiallOfficial? https://t.co/HKsUxhBUG2 https://t.co/n4PvleZy5gWhen there's a vacation at stake, my audience will stop at nothing. #LaughDancePartner https://t.co/hTLwoLP9jM https://t.co/zzB549e0NsJohnny Depp told me about how Captain Jack Sparrow makes appearances at children’s hospitals. #PiratesLifehttps://t.co/NqM5SDCYXw.@NiallOfficial's new music is here, and you can watch him perform it right now. https://t.co/CVUJvofVqp https://t.co/leS2EhRvOgI went deep with Depp. You heard me. https://t.co/R0Xrz7uIixChris Cornell performed on my show in 2015. I'm sending love to his family. https://t.co/nbk7cxfRb5
5/18
2017
@NiallOfficial We look so good together. https://t.co/wuYqtxrO8eOMG, how did anything get this fluffy? #EDbypetsmart https://t.co/3Cu8FjKBEtThis couple wanted to play, "You Bet Your Wife." You bet your wife they didn't see this coming. #LaughDancePartnerhttps://t.co/DiLEBdqeiyMost moms store family photos in an old drawer. @RWitherspoon's mom stores her nudes on the cloud. https://t.co/Z5BWb2C9s3What do George Clooney, @Rihanna, and my pets have in common? You're about to find out in this episode of #PetDish! https://t.co/s6063oxxRCTavaris isn’t much of a talker, but he sure knows how to dance. https://t.co/ylquCZp4Ak https://t.co/GNrwEujXVK.@RWitherspoon played "Speak Out." My apologies to her mother and whatever that horse did to her.… https://t.co/7aFzeUvJ4LToday’s a great day to show love to someone who’s different from you. #loveislove
5/17
2017
I need this hat. https://t.co/S4ELKgl6XtI had no idea Putin was such a fan. https://t.co/DRNSj1uqYPThis mom & 9yo daughter had no idea they were gonna be on my show. It only got better from there.… https://t.co/cUvq0jOH5OI helped @KatyPerry find a husband today. Or two? https://t.co/o1cYyaMXWG https://t.co/skHRjokpvuOh, the fun we have. https://t.co/GsUU1iwFdyI asked @KatyPerry if she's gonna be a judge on American Idol. A sip is worth a thousand words.… https://t.co/V4OrbvGL34
5/16
2017
It’s true! My very own game show is coming to primetime. Ellen’s #GameofGames is coming soon to NBC!Mother’s Day was yesterday, back to business as usual. https://t.co/clGlL42ZTMI love Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell, and would hang out with them any chance I got, even if it means I get punched. https://t.co/xewLi15NOwToday is the #HSUSDayofGiving. I can't think of a better day to help the @HumaneSociety end puppy mills. https://t.co/XqcP4HbD6h"Law and Order: SVU" star @Mariska Hargitay came to tell me about her life. These are her stories. https://t.co/78CfbYiDe5There's still time to donate to @ChildrensLA and earn a chance to win 10 tickets to a 12 Days show. @JimmyKimmel https://t.co/LZpyzKSSxQAmy Poehler & Will Ferrell helped turn my set into a casino. And then they gave away The House. #LaughDancePartnerhttps://t.co/iRt4Ej02LRClaire and Dave are in one word, irresistible. https://t.co/lLAmjVgv6j https://t.co/ggL3Gpdb1D
5/15
2017
@lenadunham 🙂What's got talented kids, a hilarious host, a gorgeous executive producer & is on in 5 minutes? Turn on NBC and find out! #LittleBigShotsSend your mom something special today. And when you realize you forgot & it's too late, at least send her an emoji.… https://t.co/FVTlT3yRIYHappy #MothersDay to all the moms out there. As Barbra Streisand would say, people who make people are the luckiest… https://t.co/7drkKvhJEnHappy #MothersDay to all the moms who are doing their best. https://t.co/d3Q6s0PUSW
5/14
2017
Have you downloaded my @EmojiExploji app yet? It's free all weekend. Hurry up! I'm not made of money.… https://t.co/iGOy1VUB5t.@PrattPrattPratt's mom is a huge fan of @theStevenBauer. I got this just for her. Happy #MothersDay https://t.co/bd2rwp4HEn.@GoldieHawn and @AmySchumer had some "motherly advice" for us all. Happy early #MothersDay everyone. https://t.co/EuGaHu8iIpHappy birthday, @LenaDunham! It's also Leprechaun Day, Belly Dance Day, and Top Gun Day. Not that I'm telling you how to celebrate.
5/13
2017
Something tells me this relationship will live long and prosper. #FirstDatesNo time like a first date to perform an original song about finding a wife. #FirstDatesI’ve never been so anxious to find out if someone eats shrimp. #FirstDatesThat’s a lot of reasons why you should watch #FirstDates. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, tune in to NBC in 10 minutes to watch!Reasons why you should watch #FirstDates tonight: It’s everything you love about "The Bachelor" and half as long.Reasons why you should watch #FirstDates tonight: It’s all the fun of going on a date without having to iron an outfit.I could stare at him all day. I mean talk with him. @PrattPrattPratt https://t.co/hKsrKnF18H https://t.co/7VPLVrP7SVReasons why you should watch #FirstDates tonight: It will make you feel like true love still has hope.This is my kind of nap. https://t.co/0m3EgCpMF7When you play Make It Rain, you either win big bucks or get soaked on national TV. Either way it's a win win.… https://t.co/WCotTMEJcfI gave Joe Dombrowski something I have never given to anyone. I don't know where he's gonna put it all.… https://t.co/3OAkGp5RS9.@PrattPrattPratt played Speak Out and nearly got me kicked off daytime television. https://t.co/qBcNXgRset
5/12
2017
The Kosher Dill Dude emoji is here to serve those pregnancy cravings! @AndyLassner https://t.co/ZtdTFnC4Mh https://t.co/bwWalhqGIM
5/11
2017

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