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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular. https://t.co/rJNCGU9GhH

36,389 Following   60,966,321 Followers   12,554 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08


It’s #ClearTheShelters pet adoption day! If you have a rescue pet, I wanna see a photo of ‘em. Right here, right now.
7/23
2016
I guess I’ll just have to eat my alcohol bananas. https://t.co/bA8jybtaCRI hope these people have a happy birthday today! Who are – @SelenaGomez, @DavidSpade, and Alex Trebek.
7/22
2016
I'm so proud of the @NBA for standing up for what's right. Incredible. https://t.co/6aito3VsCDHappy #TBT! I’ve never been good at pottery. https://t.co/YxBXuEU7pVDo you have a Pinot Noir? How about a tabby? https://t.co/Eajhr1zJDW
7/21
2016
Lucy always helped Bruno keep his chin up. https://t.co/i1l9OAzGaV
7/20
2016
Lightly coat in flour… https://t.co/vq5DAQkNlL
7/19
2016
Faster! Faster! https://t.co/bBm5zwvqw3
7/18
2016
ED by Ellen now has sunglasses! That’s right. I’m throwing shades. https://t.co/BxsjNT5GAI
7/16
2016
I’ll get my bowl. https://t.co/6xvVOaxUVg
7/14
2016
Another reason why I’m inspired by my friend Jennifer Aniston. https://t.co/OIePJ4AVeu"Can you describe it?" https://t.co/vraMPUwQ4j
7/13
2016
Apparently, it’s an episode where we share brunch. https://t.co/0KOmggICeqHad to look for a long time for this one. https://t.co/qD1jtwDX0SWho wants $25K? If you just said, “ME!” I have bad news. It’s “I”. But you could still win, thanks to @MattressFirm! https://t.co/er9yqfNG4cWho could forget my favorite cover of ELLE? Happy early #ThrowbackThursday #TBT https://t.co/gNxMnqZQ48
7/12
2016
Congrats to the @VH1 honorees. All hail @IAmQueenLatifah! And @MissyElliott. And @LilKim. And Salt. And of course, Pepa.Yoo-hoo! Down here! https://t.co/X7DqUyKhiC
7/11
2016
Happy birthday to my fellow CoverGirl, @SofiaVergara! She’s breezy. I’m easy.
7/10
2016
Happy birthday, @TomHanks. I love you.Congratulations, @SerenaWilliams! This tweet is just in case you couldn't hear me scream it from the stands. #Wimbledon.
7/9
2016
I second that emotion. https://t.co/aLuEMdNCKN
7/8
2016
I'm nominated for a #TeenChoice Award for #FindingDory! Vote for me right here: https://t.co/0M2noeEH8s. Whatever you do, Just keep voting.Happy #TBT https://t.co/bubFiDUY7iEvery breath you take, I’ll be watching you. https://t.co/Ajogoz0qxl
7/7
2016
Love. https://t.co/fmTK9atj4X
7/6
2016
Now I know why my grandma had plastic on all of her furniture. https://t.co/zCMfyYJ6Ao.@JohnCena, I love you! https://t.co/4VZ8LqavWZ1 viewer this week is gonna win $25K from @MattressFirm! If you’re not on vacation now, you sure could be after that https://t.co/er9yqfNG4c
7/5
2016
Someone should put this on a coin. https://t.co/396D1KgygVHappy #FourthOfJuly! Did ya know the flag has a stripe for each original colony? And a star for every alien Will Smith has protected us from
7/4
2016
Check out "Have a Little Fun Today"! Nothing more American than a 3day wknd playing a slot machine game on yer phone https://t.co/oKWB8FGuAS
7/2
2016
I hope your weekend is as All-American as these photos. https://t.co/2v18Vvk0MAI’d be jealous of that tank top, too. https://t.co/Cymbt71lttDid ya know you can play @HeadsUp w/ your kids? Check out the @SesameStreet deck in Heads Up Kids!#LaughDancePartner https://t.co/jKxKqbeIcB
7/1
2016
Happy #TBT https://t.co/uIaL9NNITLED by Ellen is one year old! Thank you for making it such a success. https://t.co/pEI8XVR630#LifeGoals https://t.co/ocG5ydmPiw
6/30
2016
Strength! No weakness! Get ready for Demarjay’s new video. https://t.co/3NkU4OX1eHI think the bathtub is looking at me. https://t.co/D9naDqmY2v
6/29
2016
Someone watching my show this week is gonna win a Whale of a Prize from @MattressFirm! It could be you! https://t.co/er9yqg5hsM"We made you breakfast on floor!" https://t.co/BKxiLWVKxCHappy birthday, @KelliePickler! Sending love to you and your husband, Kyle. Kyle - I hope you tickler.
6/28
2016
Dog face is the new duck face. https://t.co/0diZAwWfLsHappy birthday, @KhloeKardashian! Please give a big hug to everyone in your family for me. Right now. I’ll wait.Congrats to my friend @TigNotaro and her wife @StephAllynne who are the parents of twins! Hello twins. Goodbye sleeping thru the night
6/27
2016
Happy birthday to the hilarious @rickygervais. I hope it’s as golden as your underwear. https://t.co/cHuecqw8Ce
6/25
2016
If you love dogs like I do, you’ll get this song by Diane Warren & @LeonaLewis #StopYulinForever @VanderpumpDogs https://t.co/qcbLk5N0cVFrom now on, that’s the cat’s side. https://t.co/OUIVZIDIROHappy Take Your Dog to Work Day! I take my dog to work every day. Except Thursdays. That’s his carpool day.Happy birthday, @mindykaling and @minkakelly! This is also my favorite new tongue-twister.
6/24
2016
You’re the one that I want. Happy #TBT https://t.co/dnwSF5VSIAThank you @Billboard for helping. #DisarmHate #Signed https://t.co/3nOYCDkPRwI loved @CalyBev when she was on the show this year. And I loved her all over again on #AGT. https://t.co/UC2XhRjPMRHappy birthday, @Jason_Mraz. You’re amrazing.
6/23
2016
Happy Pride Month! 🌈 https://t.co/vr3RT7t1iVWith great art, it’s hard to tell where the artwork ends and the artist begins. https://t.co/AtFYU1ullR#YoureWelcomeWednesday: Wedding Edition https://t.co/L2gkoWQoPDHappy birthday, Meryl Streep! Whatever you do today, I hope you do it Meryly.This. #RunningManChallenge #WhiteHouse @FLOTUS https://t.co/qMs36oMipj https://t.co/Qxw4dsq1W1
6/22
2016
Adoryble. https://t.co/bMOB7hGCcpHappy birthday, @prattprattpratt ! Sending love to you, Anna, Jack, Gamora, Rocket, Groot and the velociraptors..@MichelleObama is joining Snapchat today! I sent the Running Man Challenge boys to help. You can watch it all on my Snapchat!I love this, from Frank Ocean. https://t.co/AnZRM80k7WThere’s a new Pretty Little Liars deck in @HeadsUp! I ain’t lyin’. Go check it out. https://t.co/Lxy0hWU5Go
6/21
2016
Osh Kosh bygosh I forgot the rest of my clothes. https://t.co/2tcsAOsUgjBackstage at the ED by Ellen photoshoot. https://t.co/Bl45Pt5h4DHave you seen the Whale Word on my show? If you did, you could win a whale of a prize from Mattress Firm! https://t.co/er9yqfNG4cIt’s 108 degrees in L.A. today. Here’s a quick shot out of my window. https://t.co/bmrnH5YsHbHappy birthday, Nicole Kidman! I hope @KeithUrban makes breakfast in bed and sings to you. It was wonderful when he did it for us last week.That moment when your food arrives… https://t.co/Ov3BhcxCZz https://t.co/iJxj99FfQY
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresThere are 50 Dorys hidden all over https://t.co/APojFeehjF and https://t.co/codGmfrXdx. How many have you found? https://t.co/UfknDIy4ipHappy #MeMeMonday https://t.co/HxNazsXCDV https://t.co/0TveyI37rc
6/20
2016
.@StephenCurry30 and the Golden State @warriors are an amazing team who had a historic, inspiring season this year. #nbafinalsSuch an incredible basketball game! Congrats @KingJames and congrats to the whole city of Cleveland. @cavs #nbafinalsHappy #FathersDay! To celebrate, here’s a dad joke. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
6/19
2016
Have you seen #FindingDory yet? Did you see the secret ending? Oops. Never mind. Ignore this tweet..@HillaryClinton has another super delegate! Welcome to the world, Aiden Clinton Mezvinsky!
6/18
2016
I’ve been waiting a long time for this day. #FindingDory is in theaters. Go see it. If you can’t go today, there’s always another way.I designed this for #EDbyEllen. Profits go to Orlando families. However you do it, give love https://t.co/aP5aJXMkuM https://t.co/2YrVS3ra0R
6/17
2016
Thank you for these powerful words @SpencerJCox. They are full of bravery and love. https://t.co/rMfwuKfHToPrepare to be amazed. https://t.co/wpera8ZQCa https://t.co/VXAzicerUJTomorrow! #FindingDory https://t.co/EpGz6Oivi8Ty Burrell and I are both fluent in Whale. #FindingDory https://t.co/ARfX78rHIi https://t.co/AwUcKh9xuw
6/16
2016
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. https://t.co/OH9QjR49aqThis family knows what love is all about. So, I gave them something they love a whole lot. https://t.co/CNE4xs7LoG https://t.co/RJR79YIp1PHappy birthday @ActuallyNPH, @CourteneyCox, @IceCube, & @LeahRemini! I think it’s time we get our Fleetwood Mac cover band back together.My boyfriend Tayt’s back with a behind-the-scenes tour at Pixar. #FindingDory https://t.co/0tFaj1u5AI https://t.co/hen4bIdQC048 more hours. #FindingDory https://t.co/Hgjc5gfMoW
6/15
2016
Somebody’s getting ready. #FindingDory opens in 3 days! https://t.co/Pi4NQQsFnHI hid a bunch of Dorys all over ellentube&ellentv. Find em & you could win a trip to 12 Days https://t.co/KmuO8DkLNZ https://t.co/mcDK0ilYZvWatch this. https://t.co/6dqQEsjmAnBe Kind To One Another https://t.co/IKlOZ3BdN4
6/14
2016
The cast of #FindingDory (including me) is on @JimmyKimmel tonight! Swim on over to your DVR immediately.My movie #FindingDory is opening this weekend. It's about love & family, & I’m talking about it on my show this week https://t.co/84lzvdDg9PChristina Grimmie was a talented young woman with so much ahead of her. I’m sending love to her family and fans. https://t.co/97seF3JmYUSpeaking of love, I love this. https://t.co/pNXzHVxPiPMy heart is heavy today, but I still believe in love. There’s more love than hate in this world. #OrlandoUnited
6/13
2016
Sobbing.
6/12
2016

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