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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

36,323 Following   62,447,967 Followers   12,861 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08

The ladies love this new game with @LLCoolJ."The Night Of" is now on iTunes! Spoiler alert: I just found out I’m in Episode 5.’s a sneak peek of The Cousin’s Grand Design! Watch the whole episode here. #LaughDancePartner amazing mother and daughter spun my Wheel of Riches. That’s not the only wheel they’ll be grabbing today.…
#CatWeek is almost over. We better get some good licks in while we can. can see your whiskers. #CatWeek #TBT @TaylorSwift13. were wonderful. I watched on my nanny cam in the studio. played 5 Second Rule with birthday boy @Official_tWitch and guest host @MileyCyrus. @SJP played 5 Second Rule with birthday boy @Official_tWitch and guest host @MileyCyrus. need more people like Tonya from @CapitalOne in customer service. This story is incredible. #LaughDancePartner had no idea @MileyCyrus did such a good impression of me. gave all you had for #CatWeek. Love you, Miley. RT @MileyCyrus: .@TheEllenShow Love you Ellen! Feel better soon… time Elsa and Hannah Montana were talking about Disney. @MileyCyrus @IdinaMenzel laughter is the best medicine, these videos will have me better by noon. birthday to my incredibly handsome and talented DJ, @Official_tWitch! I love you so much, I made you an emoji.
The bad news is I’m sick & can’t tape my show today. The good news is @MileyCyrus dropped everything to host for me. Thanks, Miley!Anyone for tea? #CatWeek an organ donor is the greatest gift in the world. Don’t take my word for it, listen to 14-year-old Al J and h… has very specific rules about his butt. Executive Producer @AndyLassner raced @MichaelPhelps in a swimming pool. The good news is… it’s on tape.’s zodiac signs have changed! I thought I was fine with it, but I checked, and it turns out now I’m angry about it. @TheEllenShow We’d love a Retweet. #VoteHoney WATCH the #WillAndGrace reunion scene -
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresHere it is! You found it! The premiere of the "@FantasticBeasts and Where to Find Them” trailer! #IWantToBeAWizard
Set your alarm! Tomorrow at 6am the @FantasticBeasts trailer premieres on — if you're wondering where to find them.Happy Almost-Half-Way-Through-Cat-Week. might be my favorite episode of #TheTylerOakleyShow so far, besides the one I’m in. @TylerOakley’s a new car just for women. I’m completely serious. Well, as serious as a woman can be. told me what it feels like to lose to me at ping pong. know I ♥️you stopped by my show with a few of his solid gold friends. birthday, @LilTunechi! If you keep getting older, we’re gonna have to start calling you Wayne.Happy #NationalVoterRegistrationDay! @KatyPerry
They say 100M people are watching these #debates. If you’re interested enough to watch, I hope you’re interested enough to vote. We need youCat Week! Cat Week! Cat Week! Cat Week! texted @MichaelB4Jordan. I hope you're very happy together.’m not sure what “the munchies” are, but if I get ‘em I’ll try some of these snacks @TylerOakley & @SethRogen made. is what kindness looks like. I love these guys. helped @MsLeaMichele figure out who she should date. year’s Cat Week sponsor is Bejeweled Stars! Which also describes these cats. #LaughDancePartner birthday, Andy Zenor! I hope your spirits are as high as your hemlines.’S CAT WEEK! Seriously. I’m not kitten. loved the time I got to spend with @OreillyFactor. And he didn’t call me a pinhead. trailer for “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” is premiering on ellentube. @JK_Rowling you’re welcome to come over & watch w/ us
Happy birthday, Will Smith! I hope you’re celebrating it doing what you do best — protecting us from aliens.
It’s Punctuation! Day
I’m live on @QVC in 15 minutes! If you play your cards right, you could be done with your holiday shopping in the next hour.My @QVC holiday special is LIVE at 6pm PT! But you can check out the wonderful items we’ll be showing you right now. think we found a winner.’m gonna be live on @QVC tonight, starting at 6pm PT! I hope you’re ready to be put in the holiday spirit.Happy birthday, Bruce @Springsteen! My staff loves you so much, I call them the E Street Band. Also, when are you coming to my show?This kid is a cutie. He showed me how to cook in his puttu kutti. knew it would be Shiney Hiney Week? can all agree it’s an important election. Now you can register to vote with a text message. Make it count. Text HELLO to 384387You can’t believe what these guys can do with $1K. @ColaneriJohn @CarrinoAnthony #LaughDancePartner
Happy #TBT! #HobbitDay in #3FictionalCharacters. That was easy., werk, werk, werk, werk. losing your home in Katrina. Then again in Baton Rouge, and still being able to smile. I love these sisters. you're on and and see one of my emojis, you could win a trip to my showji! Seriousji.Kate Hudson and I got in bed together.
I was looking for Dory. I found someone else. cleared up the rumors about if she’s in the next Star Wars movie. went behind my back to make this Shiney Hiney infomercial. She also went behind her back. and Vice Presidential candidate @TimKaine was here with his harmonica.’m celebrating #InternationalDayOfPeace today. I hope for it every day. it is! The very first episode of #TheTylerOakleyShow! I love it. @TylerOakley had a very special guest drop by with big news about #TheTylerOakleyShow! You’ll never guess who it was.
OMG I'm not gonna be able to sleep the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu write a book, you gotta read it and #ShareTheJoy're available Friday for rehearsal. Call our people. hair don’t care. fell asleep wearing a face peel and woke up an internet celebrity. bar saves lives. This lady loves it. #LaughDancePartner.@IamJohnOliver just proved why he’s one of the 25 sexiest celebrities. @IamJohnOliver just proved why he’s one of the 25 sexiest celebrities. unseeing this. co-host @IMKristenBell and I decided to Spice up our lives.
I guess between these photos he learned how to read.