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Host of the What the HELL Were You Thinking Podcast. Disgraced Dungeon Master. Purveyor of fine Mustache Waxes. Proud Father Guido Sarducci Cosplayer.

505 Following   176 Followers   8,405 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/18/15


Cosby in cuffs https://t.co/KznCbwVqMe
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe @petuniasfalling Hell, just THINKING about sex counted."'Trump's America' is filmed before a live studio audience." https://t.co/e05VZ3uNjd
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* BledsoeM-O-O-N that spells Con! https://t.co/j65bPCc53cLooking on the bright side I guess, the whole world is unified in laughing at the USA. So. We got that going for us.#Kavanaugh went the full "The Word Is, Is" https://t.co/BhxMYLwgwi
9/25
2018
I really, REALLY doubt it. https://t.co/vVXb9uj9IAThere is a quiet dignity and tremendous bravery in this letter. https://t.co/O6trSOtIVPThis fucker REALLY wants to strip women of their right to choose. #Thirsty https://t.co/FTnFFhci2g @emilynussbaum Yes but is he Chevy Chase and not us? @somebrunette Not me, my tattoo poem would definitely make sense :)I’ll simply say this is a pretty dramatic roll out for Rod’s new podcast.
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* BledsoeJesus, it isn't even NOON on Monday and this week has gone to hell. https://t.co/Cc8BFcLlzY
9/24
2018
@3kindsBlue @michaelharriot I've tried. @michaelharriot Sadly, I know what I did. I am no one famous or relevant, but I know I what did. I have no idea i… https://t.co/CrKxwQbGyRSo to recap: --It never happened. --My blackout-drunk bestie can confirm it never happened. --It was horseplay. --S… https://t.co/STMjF89gob
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe09/30/82 Watch New Show Cheers #My80sCalendarIf Kavanaugh's calendar is not Far Side, you know it is lie.03/03/85: New show Moonlighting, watch #My80sCalendar @guygavrielkay #80sDiaryBrett Kavanaugh is so white (HOW WHITE IS HE?) he kept calendars in high school OK, that actually sounds plausible… https://t.co/jbsWh5pMKb @teioh It's hard to fight the white my friend! @emptywheel Hell, I was lucky have five friends in high school! @teioh It's apparently cultural not genetic :) https://t.co/h8RTfnATHE @Monie625 @KFILE Our DM was a real bastard.Yes, yes, I have my calendars from the 80's: "Sept 22, killed three orcs, looted them for 12 cp. Tomorrow will ask… https://t.co/rDxf498zTn @KFILE Yes, yes, I have my calendars from the 80's: "Sept 22, killed three orcs, looted them for 12 cp. Tomorrow wi… https://t.co/IWgnY0SVOb @mattyglesias They were not.Yes, I remember calendaring well as an 80's teen it was a thing we did. https://t.co/1HxXssPp2D @cheerful_ExGF Tell them to keep the fryers hot, I am on my way! @cheerful_ExGF WAIT! STOP! There is a FRIED CHICKEN FESTIVAL?!?! Where is the marvelous place so that I go there immediately! :)The world is horrible, let's talk about Mario Kart! OH WHAT THE HELL!?! https://t.co/EHs3GaSfEz @TheRealDonWrite Chardonaise is my stripper name. @TheRealDonWrite Fancy Dijon Ketchup. If you have a million dollars.Do you believe in magic? https://t.co/fFFxOpbcux @DonGeronimoShow @packers @Redskins Damn, when you've lost Don Geronimo you've lost DC! @chrismohney And still it makes his mouth look like an anus.
9/23
2018
@maggieNYT I believe it is a commentary on access journalism and the pervasive feeling that some reporters do exactly this. @aparnapkin This is why, even if I am not unhappy, I sob softly in the back of any taxi, so the driver will be to u… https://t.co/5U3U3EESQkThese workplace safety instructions read like lyrics from a VERY suggestive 70s slow jam https://t.co/v13MkZcSKc
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe @PineyMcknuckle #LifeHacksThis is just to say I have granted an extension to the woman who has accused you of sexual assault And who you w… https://t.co/0k7n41w85M
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe @pbump If the man in the back is ready to crack...you have your answer.Do you...even WANT to win Ted? https://t.co/lLqDgFls6lI've got a good woman at home Who thinks I do no wrong But sometimes, Lord, she just ain't always around And you kn… https://t.co/lPY2yHH3tw @ForecasterEnten Effing Kansas... @mariskreizman I want to be loved like this...Look, I think this week's pod is one of my better ones...but you are gonna find out things about me you probably di… https://t.co/DZGDb5FWyzHave you heard ‘Episode 177: A Dick Joke Too Far’ by What The Hell Were You Thinking? on #SoundCloud? #np https://t.co/EHs3GaSfEzTrigger Warning: Dick Jokes Ahead https://t.co/9pVNr1x7Hu
9/22
2018
I really do extend the benefit of the doubt to the NYT over the Rosenstein story...but god damn, it is HARD to not… https://t.co/5iBHAS0G7J @RandBallsStu I prefer Gravity Lite, as it is very slimming.‘New York Times’ Announces Appointment Of Anonymous Source As Editor-In-Chief https://t.co/BmsVritYkQ https://t.co/VZXq1Be50o
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe.@maxwellstrachan just offered to let me dunk his head in a toilet. Today is the best day of my life
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe @SopanDeb Tell that to Archibald Cox.This is gonna make Trump's head explode! On the one hand, Rosenstein says it's fake news, on the other Trump will… https://t.co/Mu0iZOPtww @virgiltexas Retweeting as original content. @mattyglesias Also, Bredesen doesn't WANT the kind of attention needed to get big outside money. He knows Blackbur… https://t.co/CvLknPBQZ7You know what is terrible? They are gonna confirm the fucker anyway. Never underestimate the shittiness of Republicans. #KavanaughHearingsI have to ask @andrew_walsh when you woke up today, did you have to check to see if it REALLY happened?Good advice today. https://t.co/SWdS7iBLLr @Stonekettle I went with "That's what Stormy said" @realDonaldTrump That's what Stormy said.That's what Stormy said. https://t.co/OQX6t1ZLMwTHERE it IS, I knew President Fuckwit couldn't keep his dinky tweetin' fingers off this! https://t.co/ghj5ZXM94T"EXTREME" witchcraft, rather than a moderate, reasonable amount of witchcraft which would be utterly plausible.… https://t.co/8uoKU6sk4nhttps://t.co/uljP7h0pnT
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe
9/21
2018
@daveweigel B-B-But the Red Wave?! @dril https://t.co/4Xh1nuuCVH @Popehat @scalzi There...are...bagels...in...OTHER...places? I don't think that is true. @andrew_walsh There is so much good music by the B-52s we forget. I went deep in the rabbit hole after listening t… https://t.co/MCFewlRuTc @scalzi Enjoy our lovely Applebees! @drewmagary The guy with game controller and I fought, not me and my boss. @drewmagary Store detective in a Walmart, try to stop a guy for steal game controller with my boss in the store. W… https://t.co/NZQKUmZiJJThat's it, we are fucking done. https://t.co/bp2ZRuNGYm*John Oliver Voice* Cool. https://t.co/MC50WtyoJoNo. Burn in Hell. https://t.co/JrTByInUbM via @GothamistI've learned far too much about famous dicks this week. https://t.co/DMZoYBVL0m via @voxdotcom @Popehat I see you've received my manifesto!Stumbling Drunk Chuck Grassley Warns Kavanaugh Accuser She Can Testify All She Wants But No One’s Going To Believe… https://t.co/Xpw2DEEoHW
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* BledsoeAnother Mass Shooting? It must be Thursday in America. @pescami Jesus Mike...this is Tweet is now my religion 🤣 @Nicole_Cliffe Fast Eddie's Podcast Hut Podcast Network is always looking for new content...I mean I am the only content but still...#ShowNotes Ep. 177 "A Dick Joke Too Far" where take a dick joke further than any dick joke has gone before. New ep… https://t.co/W1lAu3sf3U
9/20
2018
Shit Lagoon is my new nickname for Donald Trump https://t.co/jNiWIRNb34 @auntbeckyrose This ought be a song sung by Muppet analogs. @oneunderscore__ @UrbanAchievr The Federalist is InfoWars for people with post graduate degrees.
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe#GreatestThingsAboutThe90s ? I knew only half as much about presidential dick as I do today.What unwelcome hybrid of youth culture and dick news awaits me this morning
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe
9/19
2018
@scalzi It kinda looks a mushroom....GOD IT IS EVERYWHERE I can't it out of my mind... @SeanCrespo "Crikey have I got a bloke fer you! He takes the piss right out of any role yah give 'em!" @ForecasterEnten I mean Walter wouldn't roll on Shabbos!I mean couldn't we at LEAST held off for the anniversary of the LAST presidential dick description? https://t.co/ORZt4e8lt1 @carolrhartsell But in Latin. :)This morning, the president's dick. This afternoon Bert and Ernie. We are covering a LOT of ground here Twitter.At this point in time, the undecideds according to the polling number are split 50/50 between the two. What remain… https://t.co/D71KCrAdx2Cue the Hot Takes of the Pundits. Of course, a LIKELY voter in TX is gonna be a GOP voters. The devil is in the r… https://t.co/0XvRUJsHxvDead, I am dead.⚡️ “HOW I FOUND OUT: an educational thread” by @maureenjohnson https://t.co/OgIToVOJ6gEringi is a mascot for Japan’s Hokuto Mushroom company. He’s a pleurotus eryngii (also known as the king trump mush… https://t.co/jTU06ae3VB
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* BledsoeLol @PeteSouza https://t.co/Efk4tr0mmO
Retweeted by Dave *Expects to be Fired* Bledsoe
9/18
2018

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