master of puppets
1,551 Following 19,305 Followers 4,681 Tweets
Joined Twitter 5/9/09Tweet
I miss football.Somewhere, the left shark is so happy that his year of nightmares is over.You know what the saddest part is? I never learned how to read https://t.co/eXQUCYJLDb @bhaggs the rehire committee should talk to my agentUmm. Yeah. Do you even know who I am? https://t.co/SbTivGNzpURealization: If I miss a great Budweiser commercial with a yellow dog I'm gonna be pissed. @CoachGusMalzahn @Panthers @kristi_malzahn war eagle coach! Plenty of us Auburn fans here doing the same!#bucketlist #KeepPounding #SB50 https://t.co/cEAYF5uvSH
@jakeout it's like a Rorschach test for personality. Hence, I just see boobs.Back in my day I had to wade through 100 table rows *both ways* just to get to tweets I cared about.
Happy Groundhog Day!
I still can't identify Iowa on a map of the U.S.If the Super Bowl happened more often I'd be much better with Roman numerals.
We all get the irony of people complaining about github being down on Twitter, right?
@EricFrohnhoefer s/contextually aware/old man/
@theSeanCook and some more https://t.co/EHEcJLxL7TNFC championship trophy presentation https://t.co/beEjRo09HM#KeepPounding https://t.co/7w7aLbjpJqMy man @CameronNewton #wde https://t.co/WzbkCi5eT6 @theSeanCook perks of being a member of the press https://t.co/9Bl9qy1KKHOn the field at Jordan-Hare East before the NFC championship. #gopanthers https://t.co/a3kVOIFdn8It's safer to be a Russian journalist critical of Putin than in a leadership position at Twitter. @CaseyNewton that explains 6 * $TWTR = $FB @hunterwalk sign me up
Good news, folks: Kindergarten Cop still holds up after all these years.
That's Mr. Rodgers to you, sucka.
I like to do the dishes after each meal at home to remind myself that I could've been eating out at a nice restaurant without my wallet.Goonies 2 - (2016) A middle-aged group of misfits stumbles upon and defeats the Oregon militia while birdwatching on a wildlife refuge.
I'm still not gonna wear pants tomorrow. @jf3_5 rooting for you, John. WDE. @mccv yup, the baby scene from Trainspotting should be required watching for all high schoolers. abstinence and drug education all in one.When I see heroin addicts shooting up on the street I always think to myself, "Welp, there's somebody who didn't see Requiem for a Dream." @KristinK true. And I won't have to stand in line for 5+ years to get a ticket. Maybe just a few hours.I don't play Powerball, but I do invest in $TWTR.
Girl, you must be a writer for Season 2 of True Detective 'cause I'm having a really hard time following you.
The guy with Jane Fonda looks like he just realized that she's _that_ Jane Fonda. #GoldenGlobes
Well I think we know how Kim Jong-un feels about lifting the 140 character limit. @isaach i'm not rehashing old material, i'm just in-between jokes at the momentI love seeing sidewalks and curbs celebrate Christmas a full two weeks after the rest of us.
@mrcs sounds like you're riding in Uber's newest line: NASCAR Black
@bswift watched the game at their bar. I swear most of them think they're at a basketball game.It's time for Michigan State to put in Michigan's punter. @blakeells unfortunately he only went to Shelton StateI wonder where Derrick Henry parked his Charger.Don't worry Seminoles, there's a guy at @tallypd who's already working on covering up this mess for you.
"...then you pan out, and BOOM he was under a dumpster this whole time!" - The Walking Dead writers pitching Star Wars VIII to J.J. Abrams
For fun last night I parked my rental car in a neighbor's driveway with a big red bow on top.
@bolton bandwidth *and* memory consumption considerations went out the window when all these damn kids started making apps.
Listening to a guy rant about how he hates the smell of Christmas trees. Forget internet monitoring, this is how we can identify terrorists.
Was Biggie Irish? @bolton GFYRight now people all over the state of Alabama are rearranging their trailers to decide where they'll hang a velvet painting of the Heisman"Hello, it's me" - Adele learning how to code
@BenedictEvans that excludes all of Silicon Valley
Watching Lions vs. Chiefs in London. The European version of football really isn't all that different from ours.