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Sean Cook @theSeanCook San Francisco

master of puppets

1,551 Following   19,305 Followers   4,681 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/9/09

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I miss football.Somewhere, the left shark is so happy that his year of nightmares is over.You know what the saddest part is? I never learned how to read https://t.co/eXQUCYJLDb @bhaggs the rehire committee should talk to my agentUmm. Yeah. Do you even know who I am? https://t.co/SbTivGNzpURealization: If I miss a great Budweiser commercial with a yellow dog I'm gonna be pissed. @CoachGusMalzahn @Panthers @kristi_malzahn war eagle coach! Plenty of us Auburn fans here doing the same!#bucketlist #KeepPounding #SB50 https://t.co/cEAYF5uvSH
2/7
2016
@jakeout it's like a Rorschach test for personality. Hence, I just see boobs.Back in my day I had to wade through 100 table rows *both ways* just to get to tweets I cared about.
2/5
2016
Happy Groundhog Day!
2/3
2016
I still can't identify Iowa on a map of the U.S.If the Super Bowl happened more often I'd be much better with Roman numerals.
2/1
2016
Sometimes when I forget how precious life is I take a San Francisco cab at rush hour and it all comes back to me. @lorenb take a hint man @icofyre looking great. Congrats on shedding an entire @mdb!
1/28
2016
We all get the irony of people complaining about github being down on Twitter, right?
1/27
2016
@jkalucki there ya go with the maths again @jkalucki what're the poll options for 1/2 CEOs?
1/26
2016
@EricFrohnhoefer s/contextually aware/old man/
1/25
2016
@theSeanCook and some more https://t.co/EHEcJLxL7TNFC championship trophy presentation https://t.co/beEjRo09HM#KeepPounding https://t.co/7w7aLbjpJqMy man @CameronNewton #wde https://t.co/WzbkCi5eT6 @theSeanCook perks of being a member of the press https://t.co/9Bl9qy1KKHOn the field at Jordan-Hare East before the NFC championship. #gopanthers https://t.co/a3kVOIFdn8It's safer to be a Russian journalist critical of Putin than in a leadership position at Twitter. @CaseyNewton that explains 6 * $TWTR = $FB @hunterwalk sign me up
1/24
2016
I bet @StephenCurry30 got his wife pregnant on the first try.If you listen closely to the winter storm you can hear @weezer https://t.co/3tgBnUC2rw
1/22
2016
Good news, folks: Kindergarten Cop still holds up after all these years.
1/20
2016
@kdwalker you are my smartest followerExcited to see @KingJames in an early screening of Trainwreck 2 tonight.
1/18
2016
That's Mr. Rodgers to you, sucka.
1/16
2016
Fantastic write-up from the best in the game, @episod. https://t.co/D7BibBxLy7
1/15
2016
I like to do the dishes after each meal at home to remind myself that I could've been eating out at a nice restaurant without my wallet.Goonies 2 - (2016) A middle-aged group of misfits stumbles upon and defeats the Oregon militia while birdwatching on a wildlife refuge.
1/14
2016
I'm still not gonna wear pants tomorrow. @jf3_5 rooting for you, John. WDE. @mccv yup, the baby scene from Trainspotting should be required watching for all high schoolers. abstinence and drug education all in one.When I see heroin addicts shooting up on the street I always think to myself, "Welp, there's somebody who didn't see Requiem for a Dream." @KristinK true. And I won't have to stand in line for 5+ years to get a ticket. Maybe just a few hours.I don't play Powerball, but I do invest in $TWTR.
1/13
2016
@messl it's ok, I've got another 3 minutes reserved for you @messl I *thought* that was you
1/12
2016
Girl, you must be a writer for Season 2 of True Detective 'cause I'm having a really hard time following you.
1/11
2016
The guy with Jane Fonda looks like he just realized that she's _that_ Jane Fonda. #GoldenGlobes
1/10
2016
More like this pls. Ben does an excellent job of explaining a fiddly technical issue in a humanistic, relevant way. https://t.co/VZVB5Olggo
Retweeted by Sean Cook
1/7
2016
Well I think we know how Kim Jong-un feels about lifting the 140 character limit. @isaach i'm not rehashing old material, i'm just in-between jokes at the momentI love seeing sidewalks and curbs celebrate Christmas a full two weeks after the rest of us.
1/5
2016
@mrcs sounds like you're riding in Uber's newest line: NASCAR Black
1/2
2015
@bswift watched the game at their bar. I swear most of them think they're at a basketball game.It's time for Michigan State to put in Michigan's punter. @blakeells unfortunately he only went to Shelton StateI wonder where Derrick Henry parked his Charger.Don't worry Seminoles, there's a guy at @tallypd who's already working on covering up this mess for you.
12/31
2015
"...then you pan out, and BOOM he was under a dumpster this whole time!" - The Walking Dead writers pitching Star Wars VIII to J.J. Abrams
12/28
2015
For fun last night I parked my rental car in a neighbor's driveway with a big red bow on top.
12/25
2015
The last time I asked @buster for advice: https://t.co/wfo6DYHWgY https://t.co/4vbH5j0T0n
12/23
2015
Last time Cam Newton was 14-0, he had a championship trophy in his hands. https://t.co/0bkN7CNgCB
Retweeted by Sean Cook
12/21
2015
@bolton bandwidth *and* memory consumption considerations went out the window when all these damn kids started making apps.
12/19
2015
Listening to a guy rant about how he hates the smell of Christmas trees. Forget internet monitoring, this is how we can identify terrorists.
12/17
2015
Was Biggie Irish? @bolton GFYRight now people all over the state of Alabama are rearranging their trailers to decide where they'll hang a velvet painting of the Heisman"Hello, it's me" - Adele learning how to code
12/12
2015
@mrcs for my money it doesn't get any better than when they sing "Mmmbop!" @mrcs Hanson get back together?
12/8
2015
The house that @kevinthau built. @mrcs @mdp @thuske #twittermobileOG https://t.co/1gHbxrrKah
12/4
2015
WATCH: Cam Newton mic'd up vs Redskins https://t.co/aIj0AN2piE
Retweeted by Sean Cook
11/25
2015
@philipberne corrupt assholes like him and the assholes who take him seriously can do better. America can, and will, do better. @philipberne thanks!Related: It was a record sales day for SFO restaurants https://t.co/je9aUiRved
11/21
2015
So every one who buys $SQ today gets an automatically-created Twitter account, right? #growthhack #synergy #stepbrothers
11/19
2015
Football great Doug Flutie loses parents an hour apart @CNN https://t.co/qDBrB5Hrmm
11/18
2015
@Reeve I still love youI still can't believe I missed this. Reminds me of the time I wore Keds to the Heaven's Gate party back in '97. https://t.co/VCOoPwzFYO
11/13
2015
@truebe northwestern equivalent of a trailer park @hemal @TwitterBoston @samn nobody puts Baby in the corner @Reeve get off my lawnYour author finally understands why he's had grey hairs since his youth. https://t.co/UPNeHxLOWX
11/10
2015
Who knows? Not me I never lost control You're face to face With the man who sold the world @jegania whatever makes that price go up man, I don't careRussians, amirite? #WADA https://t.co/M8DKQbH3pD
11/9
2015
@samp really? Ask your mom @elkpga putting it on my LinkedIn for sureProud ☘ https://t.co/fsGykFYbOh
11/7
2015
@BenedictEvans that excludes all of Silicon Valley
11/5
2015
@romainhuet @stripe congrats!I hate to be the one to point this out but isn't Rome just a cheap knock-off of Las Vegas? https://t.co/sT1OimSftg
11/4
2015
@Reeve Leave your house of cards and run away with me thenhttps://t.co/ADfneqhuTC
11/3
2015
@akarhodes it's amazingWhen in Rome... https://t.co/H1JsonacqW
11/2
2015
Watching Lions vs. Chiefs in London. The European version of football really isn't all that different from ours.
11/1
2015
LIVE on #Periscope: Watching in Trafalgar Square as @allblacks claim the trophy https://t.co/7gb3lafVrd @6pintsofkramer they *did* pray together about it, though @6pintsofkramer see also: Aaron Hernandez
10/31
2015
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