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Adrienne Porter Felt @__apf__ Mountain View, CA

I like to grow & tend things: gardens, 👶, browsers. Engineer & manager @googlechrome. Internauta. 🇺🇸🇨🇷 she/her

673 Following   45,991 Followers   17,885 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/22/12


couldn't find any Kraft when I was panic shopping a few weeks ago so instead I am about to commit a crime https://t.co/8LAqoXWdPX
4/2
2020
Sandra the orangutang started washing her hands because she saw all the zookeepers doing it repeatedly during the C… https://t.co/QgOHZCRhIQ
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Feltif you want to spice up your OKR meeting, a good way to do it is have your makeshift desk collapse. I screamed as m… https://t.co/bUE3rlsAbC @invokethebrain @AdamGrossTX if you think swearing is what prevents food from being made then I am shocked that any… https://t.co/XgG7PJ0NPXbased on all of the replies, my main problem appears to be that I put in ingredients other than flour @Jer_Diamond man that robot is a showoff @Nyust not to alarm you but you appear to have forgotten one of the three parts of pizza @agilby007 Steps to a couch fort 1. Obtain 3yo human 2. Keep them trapped inside your living room for weeks 3. Wai… https://t.co/ULfr2dYvzD @agilby007 no it's the side of a couch fort @Pinboard @enobrev A nice glob in the hair is an important part of the experience @nikitab @indygupta completely fair @dgryski the problem is I want a thin NY style pizza but it's a lot easier to make a fluffy pizza @groby At this point I don't even understand why bother even putting in the other ingredients besides flour @DullMONews Wow that was a really helpful comment @fugueish buy pizza from someone who knows what the fuck they're doing @angeld_az oh damn that's a proper slicethis is where ``````flatbread''''''''' comes from, isn't it @WobWosas by the time it's out of the oven it's going to be $100,000 @jpbrammer im taking this personally your pizza is beautiful https://t.co/z5ZyghIdjLi have covered every surface of my kitchen in flour, and myself in olive oil. AAAAATTAAAAAACK @vcsjones every recipe should specify 2 cups of wine straight into your facewhat are your secrets, pizza people???????pizza is so fucking hard to make. it should cost $1,000 a slice. the dough is so sticky. goddamnit. how do you get… https://t.co/b0jPItSX6M
4/1
2020
@MikeIsaac let's say I wanted to start this crippling hobby of buying plants online, where would I start?*octimated https://t.co/rhHpR8siuJ
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Feltreally excited about my new standing desk 💅 https://t.co/ZKFtgVuyB9 @RHPeel presumably someone read FDR's Wikipedia page and decided to go for itmy boss turned herself into a potato on our Microsoft teams meeting and can’t figure out how to turn the setting of… https://t.co/Y30uKjSEpT
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt"go away can't you see I'm exercising" https://t.co/vQmW5ccowp @groby Go to the store very carefully. For what it's worth, Ava's on Castro has a lot fewer people in it then any o… https://t.co/GWHxv55mxgmy 8 y/o came in when I was working today and then said he could do my job and looked off into nothing and muttered… https://t.co/U8bKt2Gxka
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Feltthe next time you're debating which sport is the best sport, remember that yoga is the only sport where you get to… https://t.co/vYUKkLEeJxnothing calms the nerves like the eye of sauron https://t.co/kEj5TH7m00
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Feltremember when we used to go to coffee shops? we didn't talk to each other but, like, we could haveSeeing some good at-home haircuts on the timeline and feel it’s our duty to remind you that now may not be the best… https://t.co/DtQJsqw7a6
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @gmurphy you take that back
3/31
2020
Experts say we may be as little as two days away from finally leaving the March Age. The next epoch is provisionall… https://t.co/sA4rrCLGE7
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @madestro ojaláthis weekend was great! survived a wild 3yo without playgrounds, friends, or parks. now only..... 6 weeks...... to… https://t.co/9bXAaZRmkR @xor I know you mean 🚨 but a small part of me holds out hope for the songs of 🧜‍♀️(What sound most defines the quarantine thus far, for you?) https://t.co/qEPUgCuHHV @radioambulante El silencio de las calles sin autos @jpbrammer (I haven't seen tiger king yet, waiting to watch it after one of the characters gets through the primary)Everything about this is Oscar-worthy #CoronaLockdown https://t.co/MWstii8oLq
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felti haven't spent a minute of quarantine writing my novel and these guys go off and do a whole art heist https://t.co/PbkG55UVp4
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @jpbrammer https://t.co/iJTYL4U3hKWe challenge you to recreate a work of art with objects (and people) in your home. 🥇 Choose your favorite artwork… https://t.co/WmL3W8V4uv
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter FeltOur Alameda/East Bay based long-time preschool teacher & babysitter got laid off from her day job due to parents WF… https://t.co/q7HioUi6tU
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @sundress It looks beautiful in that blue bowlHas anyone else been staying up until 3am every night for the past two weeks so they can anxiously hold their breat… https://t.co/4xVhLeAz4H
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @FoldableHuman @Google kid had phone and apparently some thoughts about this tweet https://t.co/zhwPQjJpGz @FoldableHuman @Google Hi to tuttythe o mi ifigiofoftryrt mañana hoy niño mis oo que juju ayaaab mándame k lot mi o… https://t.co/kYlwD4jNB9 @owencm oh nooo
3/30
2020
@dr_kuhalla Yes but not all cats and sitting with it for fifteen minutes lets me figure out if it's a problem. I'm… https://t.co/kVuVkINHEw @sundress Good fertilizer @dr_kuhalla Right now the debate is dog vs cat?? @dr_kuhalla We actually do want to adopt but I want to be able to take my time... Not rush it. Wish I'd thought of… https://t.co/MUDP5BEICf @alicegoldfuss (I have been using a wagon to get two weeks of groceries at a time and love it) @alicegoldfuss old ladies with their sidewalk grocery carts know what's up. can get a nice two weeks of pasta into… https://t.co/DzYxbpeSgXHi. I designed some coronavirus travel posters for you. Stay the F* home. Love you all. https://t.co/mzY52GFm6Z
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Feltsurprisingly difficult to become a pet foster household right now...guess everyone else had the same idea! @caesar_quotes when everything's in the cloud, the client hardware matters a lot less(i haven't bought a new laptop since 2015 so #welcometothefuture i guess)I now own a laptop with a touchbar. what is the point of this? why is it there? I can't reach it from my normal typ… https://t.co/RxAEnNDzsa @elhilopodcast no puedo encontrar El Hilo en Google Podcasts. no lo veo en los resultados? y el enlace desde su sit… https://t.co/KxtLNL5eWc @shaver I'm also trying extremely hard not to bring anything home to a child with asthma. Even regular colds have g… https://t.co/kxEWduYwwshttps://t.co/lvzo45CnHU
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @amitsi are effective masks actually available on Amazon? when I looked last week they were not (my stash is from last fire season)go to store without mask: people judge you for not keeping your breath to yourself go to store with mask: people ju… https://t.co/5uVERmCz9Y @PaolaNotPaolo Sending love
3/29
2020
@etiene_d I assume by "last anniversary" you mean the last one ever because that pillow haunted your relationshipthe perfect outfit to surprise your partner https://t.co/JNVjQmeip9I discovered today that my great great grandpa has a Wikipedia page! https://t.co/oj0CNVXzvF I grew up knowing him… https://t.co/4m8EUidRcj @argvee How scary! Glad you were able to get help during the storm.hooray, back in to my accounts!!!!! thank you to the nice people who helped me fix my multi-step technology disaste… https://t.co/SyJ7blbYTy @ryanprior @Pinboard I stupidly keep my backup codes at my desk, which I have lost access to during the california shutdown @marmbrus michael there is so much going on with my plants that i haven't been able to snap you ;p @dsandler i was trying to film my son admiring the caltrain but the train horn terrified him so he THREW HIMSELF in… https://t.co/FZFvln9KFm @ShriramKMurthi @saxenaUAB for my corp account, yeah. i don't want to carry around a key for my personal stuff so i… https://t.co/Fi7FPcBjy4 @gpshead twitter was my only social media account already authenticated on my laptop, ha @sigkate someone smarter than me with an imsi catcher would be able to get in faster than me with just my frustrati… https://t.co/MuzVzlSAdf(I did manage to authenticate using my backup email on my corp device as a second factor, but after that it locked my account.)Without an account I can't set up the phone or activate my SIM. I'm just stuck... another 3-5 days! It feels like forever.I am stuck in my house without reliable access to my friends or family. Even with my laptop, I can't get in to most… https://t.co/hKkKKKHgXYI am not feeling too happy about security right now. My phone died last week, and my laptop only occasionally turn… https://t.co/67M3syiRiR
3/28
2020
I've been doing safety-critical engineering projects for long enough now that the words "regulations are written in… https://t.co/bhGz2yDyju
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter FeltPhilly has a huge vacant hospital (closed last year) and the owner is refusing to allow the city to use it to treat… https://t.co/SVKFvKvayn
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @TheMightyEthan @TheProski you gotta put the punch at the end, not the beginning! setup, then punch. it's the surprise that makes it butts @bgporter a noble questI get big laughs at home from the word "butts." Buzz Lightbutts. Spaghetti and meatbutts. Let's go read some butts.… https://t.co/y7QOO9v2DR @rmaxio yup, it's horrible for them. i am worried for my family members who are working with patients. but there is… https://t.co/Nwg6Lt4dh8 @robinberjon chew super slowly. i mean, what else do you have going on @old_sound ¿9 meses? optimistaspice things up by mentally recounting every embarrassing situation from the last decade while eating breakfast @lolowhat it's both at the same time. the world is terrifying and hard to comprehend. but i am shut in my house, fa… https://t.co/SOAqcmGEqC @mcmillen "yet" - i appreciate your confidence. we're getting there!i did not expect the end of the world to be so boringYelp to stop auto-creating fundraisers after outrage from business owners https://t.co/B0VOHuv7gZ https://t.co/wT912ztYij
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter FeltUhhh, what the fuck? Without my permission, or even notifying me, Yelp has created a GoFundMe fundraiser for my bar… https://t.co/1ZE5mYKePp
Retweeted by Adrienne Porter Felt @dsandler I am doing every household science experiment I can find on the Internet. My child is interested in about… https://t.co/sQBFUo7LjG
3/27
2020

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