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I like writing silly Tweets, but that doesn't pay so I also make @googlechrome. mamá & eng director. 🇺🇸🇨🇷 she/her

737 Following   48,746 Followers   20,814 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/22/12

gotta get my dog a credit card so he can buy me real gifts. what am I gonna do with all these piles of puke he made… @greg7375 @rsesek @fugueish obviously yes why is this even a question
@Pinboard stay safe, avoid laurel leaf forests @alicegoldfuss hey, that's unfair. Chrome designers definitely know what tabs are. this is evidenced by our use of… @ChloeCondon Yes but not like real trick or treating, it's driving to schoolmates houses (all masked, and also alre… pissed off because last night I went to see a ventriloquist, and he was wearing a mask the whole show! He ju…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt#OnthisDay 1979: Frank Prentice, an assistant purser on the Titanic, described how he survived the sinking of the s…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @GregWildSmith I was able to get better pricing than our nanny could individually in the exchange @galenward @warrmac We haggled over eligibility for business pricing @galenward @warrmac We priced out options including the exchange. With 2 employees we were able to qualify for busi… @_cat_turner @CatchBenefits ah I see. Useful for folks if their employers aren't offering healthcare! (But I think they should be) @_cat_turner Looks like this app is for employees? Is there an employer side (like MyHomePay)? @johngary @karaswisher It really is bringing a needed moment of humor to my life right now. Do you think he got awa… @warrmac Paying people under the table hurts them when they get let go (like, during a global crisis) and can't qua…'s domestic workers make tech thought leaders' lives possible. Many are uninsured or underinsured, which… you a wealthy tech person who cares about social justice and equity? Do you have a nanny? If yes: pay for their… @RickByers @cwilso @bgalbs Rick blink twice if the robot made you write thatI wish I were the scientist who got to name this fish boops boops
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @Pinboard Bay leaves do two things: (1) sometimes impart a flavor I don't like to black beans (2) get stuck in you… @EricaJoy won't this be awkward in your household @groby To get to the other side @dr_kuhalla I am really excited to use it once and then have it take up room in a cabinet for the rest of my lifehopped on a bandwagon and bought a kitchen scale. now I can make my kid bland chicken with the precision of a drug dealer @jehronp woah, hope you're physically ok now and whole again soon.
@mchang now I'm going to start doing it for realGood morning here is a very important update on my parents corgi
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter FeltIncredibly dystopian for a Senator to imply someone should be fired for criticizing her @bgalbs @MikeIsaac Sundar always has the most carefully curated setup but I have to say Zuckerberg's is a stronger… @MikeIsaac I appreciate the inclusion of books to prove that Sundar knows how to readSometimes all the individual pieces — raccoons, segways — will exist for years, but it takes a visionary to put the…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @RHPeel Isn't that mostly because similarly aged people are still pursuing their first careers before moving into p… @RHPeel I find that unlikely. Her appeal comes from being an outsider who challenges the democratic party from the… all my emails with "spidey thought" from now on and will not be accepting feedback on this decision @editorswindler @alicegoldfuss they were right. this does bring me joyI'm sorry but who at the Oregon Health Authority thought this was a good idea?
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @anildash I can't decide whether these are made by some ultra wonder bread person seriously, or are satire and mean…
@chrissyteigen you are a brave, beautiful mama. ♥️ (no need to reply)I needed this amazing piece of history today. "Please advise."
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @mims so youre saying we might have 499 years to go?we'll call it Gal's Gulch I'm sorryAtlas Shrugged, except all the women sick of picking up men's dirty laundry off the floor move to a valley in Colorado @__BrettWilson__ hope your head is ok and you learned a valuable lesson in laundry safety @v0max Thanks, filing bug @v0max What iOS version are you on? What version of gmail?
@saranormous blog, with excerpt and link on twitteralso thank you to @shawtydubs for seeing rat traps and thinking, "this reminds me of adrienne, I must immediately t… like a bad idea. do you really want to give an angry, trapped rat access to your home network? @madmath om nom nom. you've got bookshelves in your home office... next time you have insomnia, binge order some snacksI need a meme that conveys so much more than “it’s getting weird”
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @eileenguo 68 here and I'm wearing a thick sweater like I'm about to go trek across the tundra @SteveBellovin I can't go to my actual kitchen during the workday because my son finds it confusing if I leave my o… @nikitab Ahahaha. (Context for anyone else who immediately needed to check the news: oh hey you guys are back early Astronauts: moon’s wet NASA: what? Astronauts: *loading up the rocket with pap…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter FeltOreo has a new treadmill. It's a much sleeker modern design than the usual hamster wheel. I think he likes it 🐹
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @dr_kuhalla I need to get into b900 to steal some of the bowls and cups to make it feel perfectSet up a home office break room 🎊 this is a gift to everyone who meets with me after 3pm, who now get to speak with… @itosettiMD_MBA @apoorva_nyc In contrast, daycares and preschools are open where I live and are not contributing to… @aSimple_man How could you possibly come to that conclusion @PaulRoales Some of the vaccine candidates have specific handling instructions, like needing to be stored very cold? @bgalbs @zachk where do I sign up to take pumpkin pie off your hands
@Ilaeria Most non-black teas take cooler water @sleepylemur I thought the reason they are brown is because of the invasive Spanish grass that now covers the hillsides?#ハロウィン でわかる論理演算 #Halloween
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @LeaKissner The ones just north of the airport are all still tech (which made me think of this memory) although the… little flash fiction for Sunday morning 🧵 always asks "psycho killer qu'est-ce que c'est?" and never "psycho killer comment ça va?"
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @bcrypt cauliflower patties, zucchini patties. breaded eggplant with cheese. eggplant in pasta with olive oil. I'm getting hungry @bcrypt squash -- butternut squash soup, roasted acorn squash, pumpkin curry. in season now as a bonus @mattficke urban highways are so depressingyears ago, I stepped off a plane at SFO. from the window of my taxi north, all I could see were dead brown hills an… @starsandrobots I think the defining characteristics are the simplicity and safety of a car: it should take off and… @Kyle33747199 our dogI mean, I’m buying these leggings. I am this woman.
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter FeltI am in urgent need of advice. It seems that I have made an unwise investment. Tell me, please: what is the shelf l…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @elizmccracken @anildash My colleagues are unfortunately aware that I have no bearing and can be made to grin or la… @sheeri sounds like a recipe for an elaborate prank requiring you to learn how to speak backwards @qole A lesson in not trusting the opinion polls19th-century product review.
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter FeltThe photos from this operation to eradicate murder hornets in Washington state are something.…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @PaolaNotPaolo like this @PaolaNotPaolo corn, preferably homemade! @PaolaNotPaolo I'm still not used to Mexican style tacos, where are the beans and rice and sour cream??? @PaolaNotPaolo The way I grew up was putting lots of stuff in tortillas - rice, beans, vegetables, frankly whatever…
@__apf__ Vote!
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @psyfe I'll send you a ballot @TheWheelMe it says parque not por que, my handwriting is just bad 😆 @madestro mi platforma no es popular. le obligo a llevar pantalones hoyto be fair, including myself was pretty corrupt and I deserve to lose to our garden @jacorralc hahaha oops I knew I'd mess up somewhere @josh_watson Yeah, it's hand drawn. Turns out centering is not only a problem in CSS @remotesynth Plant has a compelling plan for global warming, the primary issue of his generation @LucPicat I gave birth to him yet not even a moment of considerationThe surprise last minute candidate PLANT is polling very well in our district kid is throwing a tantrum because he does not get to vote. I tried to explain why a three year old cannot vote.… @annehelen My husband had a pre-existing dedicated work space. I converted our tv room into my home office. After I…
@mccanner oh my god my brain is full of fire on her behalf
I reverse engineered mcdonald's internal api and I'm currently placing an order worth $18,752 every minute at every…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter FeltI keep meaning to write twitter jokes but when I go open up the jokes box it's full of spiders arranged to spell out P O L I T I C S"Dutch security researcher succeeded in logging into the Twitter account of the American President Donald Trump [wh…
Retweeted by Adrienne P👻rter Felt @xor maga2024!