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(23/she/her) the first rule of fight club is have fun and be yourself

713 Following   1,577 Followers   45,358 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/2/12

everyone please join me in loving and affirming elliott page and rejoicing in the now homosexual kiss between ellio…
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elliot page didn't get nominated for an oscar for his role in juno for everyone to be calling him "umbrella academy star"
Retweeted by Hollydating me is like pulling a Christmas cracker, shit jokes but a decent bang
Retweeted by HollyU replied to me on insta once pick me x in my bunker in the year 2041 making gluten free wood fired pizzas for my two children who have never seen the s…
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The other day my brother got Chaucer and Jeffery Epstein mixed up and nothing has ever made me laugh moreAw Lauren 🥺 that’s so kind of u. Right back at u x hope ur doing okay x @kurtisconner I almost ate two slices of toast for lunch todayBoyfriends ordering from small businesses their girlfriends are obsessed with is the energy that fuels me like no other
Retweeted by HollyHonest to god I actually don’t think I know what I even look like anymore. I have such a skewed perspective of my b… give this $99k back to the workers you’ve exploited rather than essentially bribing your customers to trus…
Retweeted by HollyNothing is more shocking than accidentally putting your thong on backwards
Men's midlife crises are intensely boring they just get an expensive bike and marry a 30 year old version of the sa…
Retweeted by HollyWhen you get a DM that starts with ‘hi lovely!’
Retweeted by HollyYllöh
So we’re sound to fly to Dubai or Tenerife but can’t go the pub without ordering a hunters chicken
Retweeted by HollyAnd so it begins rest in peace for tomorrow x
Retweeted by HollyBrussels Sprouts Were Actually Bad: A Thread When I was a kid, Brussels Sprouts were the go-to joke food when peop…
Retweeted by HollyTried my new mask argument with a taxi driver. Wasn't wearing one & was angry about mine. 'I like the anonymity,' I…
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Drinking wine is still, even at age 32, about 20% taste 80% heheheh here I am drinking wine like a stressed lady from the movies
Retweeted by HollyI am not looking forward to all the "lose that quarantine weight" New Year bullshit that's about to drop, so here's…
Retweeted by Holly @nicegirlmeg FuckSaddest story ever told: Baby shoes. For sale. Worn a lot but the baby’s dead now
Retweeted by HollyPossibly the only funny piece of news we'll see today: "It is illegal to install structures or art without author… much do you masturbate during lockdown?
Retweeted by HollyAnimal Crossing villagers outside of Resident Services be like
Retweeted by Holly @dadwroteaporno I think this is something you should see @paulbIack @ellendickson I am so sad
Is it just me, or would anyone else gladly give up Christmas Day to prevent possibly weeks more lockdown or Tier 3?
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Just something to think about if you’re considering veneers
Retweeted by HollyThe Neverending Tory Country For Refugees one: men: time to be a predator dinner tonight I’ve had a bao bun, a beer and a vitamin D tablet so I suppose you could say I’m a vision of healthImagine being a murder victim and looking down from heaven to watch two podcasters interrupt the story of how you w…
Retweeted by HollyThis may be the most adorable headline ever. 😍
Retweeted by Hollyi still can’t believe this absolute classic of a tweet got deleted
Retweeted by Hollybigots not knowing what a transcriber does is now my lifeblood - this is the 3rd time this has happened, lmfao
Retweeted by Holly"it gets better" bro its been gradually getting worse for years
Retweeted by HollyPLEASESDXFDKJ
Retweeted by Hollyyou either learn to drive at 17/18 or you’re pretty xx
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Yes school sucks but does it swallow
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"who bullied you?" civil servants:
Retweeted by Holly @samwlsh (Look @ Woking)People’s favourite chain restaurants by region!
Retweeted by HollyThe Weakest Link once did a celebrity lookalikes special and it's some of the most cursed shit I've seen in my enti…
Retweeted by Hollypriti’s next job could be in cyber (bullying)
Retweeted by Holly @kardashoon Best couple in the whole world
i genuinely can’t believe that drake bell changed his name and left the country and became a spanish pop artist what the fuck
Retweeted by Holly @miawaallis They used to have mince meat in them!! They only became sweet things in the recent pastMy landlord everybody 🤷‍♂️
Retweeted by HollyYou mean the iPhone 4 cyber security be what you seek, Then first you must answer our riddles three
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Due to recent Tory budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched offOmg look how cute and little I was wtf am procrastinating again so here's a pic of me and my tiny coffee cup
Retweeted by HollyHow is this not a huge story today?
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Is there a drug dealer and influencer convention on in Dubai at the minute?
Retweeted by HollyWHY DOES SONIA LOOK LIKE @brittany_broski I AM SHAKING WITH LAUGHTER HAAHHAHA she caught me on the counter !⃝ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 saw me banging on the sofa !⃝ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 i e…
Retweeted by Holly @ASOS 37 days and it’s been more than 37 million job rejection emails for me!There are mice in the rafters of my house and they sound so cute right up until they get fried @sim0nemurphy Every day would b fun if I looked like u
Beth popping pills to get ready and play chess #QueensGambit
Retweeted by Holly @SydneyBattle @_holDCA The launch of the new SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket yesterday? Couldn’t imagine it would be anythin…
Retweeted by Hollywhat do you guys think it is
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why would instagram, a photo sharing app, replace the notifications section with a shopping tab
Retweeted by HollyDid it for my degree and got a first innit x
@lotteoneill Bruh literally every timeThis guy on Grindr said he’d pay me $200 to talk to him about my farts so I just spent the last 2 hours going in de…
Retweeted by Hollyme in 2020 me at reading festival in 2012…
Retweeted by Holly @LittleMix Rizzle Kicks
Retweeted by Holly @samwlsh Any press is good pressThis has been a long time coming and I’m very excited to release episode 1 this Sunday!
Retweeted by HollyOn the news they're talking about the 'prostitutes' Peter Sutcliffe killed. Women. They were women.
Retweeted by HollyEat Out to Help Out Eat Out 2 Help Out Eat Out To Help Out: Yo Sushi Eat & Help Eat Five Eat Out 6 Help Out 7 The Fate of the Helpers E9
Retweeted by Hollya popular coffee shop chain I used to work at made me throw out perfectly good food instead of giving it to a homel…
Retweeted by HollyIn light of the recent Election Day results it seems my favourite cafe is changing its political stance
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@ellxmartin_ Plz send pics of the Polaroids I wanna see ❤️❤️feminist fuckboy on a date
Retweeted by Holly @ellxmartin_ Oh my god?!! a) I can’t believe it’s been that long b) is forgotten that we were literally assaulted i…
Retweeted by Holly"they're going to put trackers in this new vaccine i just know it" bro you spend 8 hours a day on your phone you already have a tracker
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2020: hold my beer ur mum says u can't have McDonalds bc there's food in the house
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Retweeted by HollyI was sleeping and woke up to roaring cheers and banging pots and pans in upper Manhattan, looked at my phone and s…
Retweeted by HollyGoodbye you great big fat orange fuck headDonald :(
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I don’t have too many regrets in life but I really should have worn my retainer as much as I was told to
Retweeted by HollyA whole year of waiting for the right moment. Glorious.
Retweeted by Holly @Nigel_Farage
Retweeted by Holly @tessellxte Literally! I wouldn’t envy the body of a 15 y/o now, so why do it to myself? Just gotta remember innit x @RightWingWatch well sorry @Eminem for that. But that's the first instrumental track i thought about.
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@haydnecamina What about thicc peopleThe Baudelaire family trying to beat Olaf:
Retweeted by Holly @funkysoup Let me know what you think!!! @funkysoup Knives out, trust me