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Professional educator, amateur locksmith, husband, PhD, and unashamed fan of peach Fresca. Expertise in mathematics, cartoons, board games, and chili.

438 Following   192 Followers   13,908 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/10/15


This is Beau. He figured out how to rock back and forth all by himself. No human required. 14/10 a self-sufficient… https://t.co/1yaNrN7tTg
Retweeted by M. Cotton @Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren Not sorry at all. I will not offer credit or humility where it's undeserved. @Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren You feeling insulted by dry observation is your problem. @Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren I made no insult. @Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren Absolutely. But that doesn't change this previous nonsense you were espousing.Scoop: Energy sec Rick Perry notified the president in writing on Air Force One on the way to Texas that he will be… https://t.co/RBsfQ4nNpl
Retweeted by M. CottonIt is actually immoral, insulting, and beneath the dignity of the United States to force foreign governments to pay… https://t.co/BptCAAXDsg
Retweeted by M. Cotton
10/18
2019
@paullicino You ever see one of these? https://t.co/kURo8eoD33What kind of men? DANGER MEN. https://t.co/mpfinX28YB
Retweeted by M. Cotton @paullicino Danger Men At Work https://t.co/fzNheV3gAJ @bjamesboyd @jayrosen_nyu I don't see how that's any different from what she's already been saying. @dfoleyusa @wodfan @eclecticbrotha @michele5411 @jayrosen_nyu How do you not know the answer to this question? @meredithdicken1 @jayrosen_nyu It's weird to call something impossible that's done all around the world. @garicruze @tomcoates @ManMadeMoon @jayrosen_nyu Except on immigration. lol @buddynewman @jayrosen_nyu Lol. This is why you Dems lose elections. You break up into your pretty tribes over your… https://t.co/tfhDInkmjP @jackivinson @jayrosen_nyu If it's a question that everybody already knows the answer to which is asked for the sol… https://t.co/RqBLK0mXLt @lenalynx @7Flash7 @ianabramson They pay less than what we do.NEW from @NBCNews: After Bolton shut down meeting where Sondland offered Zelenskiy meeting if he reopened investiga… https://t.co/3l3MhoG56r
Retweeted by M. Cotton @EllipsisGoblins Makes sense. What's the point of the dice if you'd just fudge them anyway?Being a loyal Republican now requires believing that Gen. James Mattis is "the worlds most overrated general," tha… https://t.co/rulHdN65FB
Retweeted by M. Cotton @EuphoriaStorm @JustinTrudeau https://t.co/k8XBEqPgqK
10/17
2019
@Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren Seriously, who actually believes Biden was ever into fighting bank… https://t.co/mLGJr2OlL4 @Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren Biden's *administration* supported it. Biden himself was barely in… https://t.co/eDlAWIYzdb @pabrocb @ServantOnIce @CCoceans311 @mj_lee That's fair @ServantOnIce @CCoceans311 @pabrocb @mj_lee Demanding credit and humility from someone who owes you neither isn't a… https://t.co/1SUlhkDbfk @GaryWasilewski @DrJenGunter Doubt it. lol @LindseyGrahamSC ... Except over the last few years. @SFDukie Maybe they recommended "here's the deal" to him as an alternative, so then he started overusing that instead. lol @SFDukie He begins every other statement with "Fact of the matter is" or "The fact is", and it gets really annoying. lol @Ceee_Khay @knittaphd Trying to write a BuzzFeed quiz is my guess. @Holly_A_K @iamroshanmody @davidaxelrod @ewarren Biden didn't work on this legislation. @CDJamerson @SnowSkier67 @davidaxelrod @ewarren How can everybody know something that, in reference to this particu… https://t.co/T4hnPJEFLY @Webbythe @markmlandreneau @davidaxelrod @AnjaliSomatics @ewarren @JoeBiden @SenWarren Unfortunately, you are the o… https://t.co/pT14MB12FX @Bulerious @davidaxelrod @ewarren The Dodd-Frank bill that authorized CFPB was nearly a straight-up party line vote… https://t.co/fmOL1DP7Qe @hellyeahcorks @knittaphd I had a student swear he didn't copy, but the first question was "This is test version A.… https://t.co/V2AT6OMsUJ @knittaphd @SFDukie I've found a textbook in the bathroom before. And stuff written on the inside of the label of a soda bottle.
10/16
2019
@Matt_Billips @RebelPussy https://t.co/OkUFrbSaqrWe have some #DeadofWinter promo packs of Giggles that we're gonna giveaway! Retweet for your chance to win!… https://t.co/8GOfrAok9V
Retweeted by M. CottonSomeone calls 911 because they hear shots down the street at the bank. The cops show up at the bank, and, sure enou… https://t.co/4t82eY01Rm
Retweeted by M. Cotton @mc_boletin @ZarahBlue @JRehling @realDonaldTrump Who tf are you talking to? @theDropAnchor https://t.co/sPWdiBv9HC @plasticlove13 @Micxaell Colorblindness is the name of a disability that some people have. check urself @jamesfinngarner It senses black and white strongly but unfortunately isn't able to tell any browns apart. @theDropAnchor Is there anything in those dots? I have to know!! @solonahusband @MafiaJayM @jorannjenkinss Another reason why you shouldn't use the name of a disability as a pejora… https://t.co/zjIXxT0lwT @Sonia_Kang Friendly reminder: Using the name of my disability as a pejorative for something unrelated is not… https://t.co/WNt22ZFHLg @GOPChairwoman You right now: https://t.co/63irPLXmBa @wanderbloom @_samantha_lynn_ @NPR Could you try not using the name of my disability as a pejorative for something unrelated? Thanks. @mc_boletin @ZarahBlue @JRehling @realDonaldTrump In what world do people struggling with multiple jobs pay capital… https://t.co/zRjKKSaxac @mc_boletin @elliott_downing @JRehling @realDonaldTrump He didn't delete it, dingus. He probably blocked you becaus… https://t.co/yk5qrXSeCn @helchose @atrupar @SRuhle Are you sure about that? @phillysnowflake @GOPChairwoman https://t.co/QnBXtlKZTc @EdnaK_ @GOPChairwoman https://t.co/6AFoprN7wo @GOPChairwoman The Secretary of Energy also has ZERO experience in energy. Maybe look into that for us. @sarandipt @kwelkernbc @RudyGiuliani https://t.co/vEgC3N8DgHThis is Moby. He has Cerebellar Hypoplasia, which just means he wobbles. His wheels help him get where he wants to… https://t.co/5IzIubYnS6
Retweeted by M. Cotton
10/15
2019
Horrible videos emerging from NE #Syria today of #Turkey proxies field-executing SDF fighters. You can hear one sa… https://t.co/BGWZd65UIg
Retweeted by M. Cotton @RationalBlonde I'm sure they'll get that part from the Disney Channel or CW or something. @LinzElah https://t.co/AF26eaTdY3 @MrHonner @stevenstrogatz Could be very confusing when lecturing in the Southern Hemisphere. lol @malinablue @DavidW_340 It's one of those folks with Dr. in front of their name who actually earned it. @ronlm1950 @bkohatl @BetsyDeVosED @usedgov @Amway @BetsyDeVos @TexasGOP @texasdemocrats Not everyone gets to have a… https://t.co/XC2a7Xu1Q3 @NBCNewsTHINK @kurtbardella @TGowdySC never had principles. GTFOH with that nonsense. lol @KARAVIJ @JimSwiftDC @BruceIL Do you even know who you're commenting to? lol1. Neighbor calls non-emergency # to report her front door is open. 2. Police come, search perimeter of her house.… https://t.co/AEmRLDC6AV
Retweeted by M. CottonI normally don’t use a ton of foul language in my feed but what the motherfucking fuck of all fucks. This is tragic… https://t.co/rgm65Om5OC
Retweeted by M. Cotton @ColbyItkowitz @Susan_Hennessey Video appears to be fake though. Can you confirm it? If not, be better at your job, please. @betsey_burgin @SnarkedUpLawyer @Popehat @ScientificAthe1 How tf does that apply to my question? Eat shit and get blocked, lady.
10/13
2019
@TheRickWilson @realDonaldTrump You're absolutely right. But that doesn't change that this video is fake af.From my recent article: Russian state media: "after being “stabbed in the back by the Americans,” the Kurds have no… https://t.co/MLjD59zWdo
Retweeted by M. Cotton @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr You were replying to me though. Jesus Christ, Wtf is your problem? @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr I think that's called Twitteritis. Should get it checked out. @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr Are you unable to read your own writing? https://t.co/cWrnP5mb1F @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr Don't dance around it. You know what you were doing. And it wa… https://t.co/sPi1DC8eZX @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr Also, be careful when you say "you". I didn't try to point ou… https://t.co/9pQK8n1Qln @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr It is not incumbent on you to become the same type of sh*thead… https://t.co/wUzKiMfi0h @Jeff90140499 @Chiaroscuro515 @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr @POTUS FLOTUS doesn't count now? Haha. Wow. You: "What ot… https://t.co/7SQ7N4U1N7 @leslie2sing4u @PGameHD @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr @realDonaldTrump @USSenate @KamalaHarris Was this English? https://t.co/PaIWSx2YPv @Jeff90140499 @Chiaroscuro515 @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr She didn't? Come on now. You know better. lol @Chiaroscuro515 @I_Mishima @ChatByCC @DonaldJTrumpJr There is nothing wrong with posing naked. In your desire to du… https://t.co/Ygqac2bHPb @Eziliveve @davidmweissman @twitod @DonaldJTrumpJr @KamalaHarris Nah, Don Jr. is definitely the Fredo. Eric is more the Arnie Grape.it was 1997 i was outside McDonald's on Queen St age 15, an old lady barked "speak English" at a pair of young Kore… https://t.co/v1ksG7rTdp
Retweeted by M. Cotton @LuciaRendn4 @DavidW_340 Right!, especially if you're not into banging someone who calls you Mother. lol @LuciaRendn4 @DavidW_340 Donnie's genes do something weird to the bottom half of the face that doesn't seem fixable… https://t.co/bPjvKFTQiR @betsey_burgin @SnarkedUpLawyer @Popehat @ScientificAthe1 Because they make profit and those others don't? Seems pr… https://t.co/Bz2mAHlN90To Republican elected officials, donors, activists and voters who’ve been persuaded to support or acquiesce in the… https://t.co/5dZfeekPXg
Retweeted by M. Cotton
10/12
2019
@mssilverstein @Popehat @ScientificAthe1 The First Amendment doesn't give you the right to violate the Civil Rights Act. @betsey_burgin @SnarkedUpLawyer @Popehat @ScientificAthe1 Why would you believe anyone thinks taxation would shut religious people up? @SRuhle Because that's how bundlers work? @williams1977 @hughhewitt These types stopped loving their country in 2008. @MattAtk51791137 @nunrath007 @sarembear @JRehling @GehlertGregg @realDonaldTrump There's probably a couple Dems in… https://t.co/j7nYiUkpO2
10/11
2019
@xtinerobles @SenWarren @BetsyDeVosED 💵💰. Duh. @cwolmak @Bornabrit1 That take's about as smart as a MAGA hat. @charley_ck14 Thinking is frowned upon at the Washington TimesNEW: Sen. Lindsey Graham thought he was talking to the Turkish defense minister. It was actually Russian pranksters… https://t.co/ICir6sTdfd
Retweeted by M. Cotton @charley_ck14 https://t.co/2uqv1Vk0kv @fxhxxm @CultureCrave The movie had sound, and he wears a lot of make-up. So I guess that makes it a tribute to the Jazz Singer? 🤣 @RottieLyle @isaiah_moungey @redrum_26_7 @RyanTaffeLegal @thegreatgadsden @blkbuddha @__greys It *is*. Go see it. I… https://t.co/fwlAiJfCnI @The_Law_Boy @Popehat Trying to think of a non-corrupt reason for Barr to be friends with Murdoch. @saeen90_ @TulsiGabbard It's perfectly coherent once you think about what it would be like to be a hyperreligious a… https://t.co/2dbG5h13l4
10/10
2019

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