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Luke @aaaaluke Melbourne, Victoria

LL.B GDLP Hi, I'm Luke, I'm a solicitor who is widely acknowledged to also be a mentally ill member of the community.

1,743 Following   200 Followers   3,355 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/2/14

Lil Coeliac
@AaronMeyers Everywhere in Australia this is at least $100.00AUD
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@luxlazuli Pan, highest heat, side one, side two: serve
When media people are like “we need to understand the white working class to understand trumpism” babe those…
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the bus driver always goes down with the bus
Retweeted by LukeConservatives: “Minimum wage wasn’t created to be a living wage” FDR (they guy who created minimum wage): “No busi…
Retweeted by LukeI hate America so much. What is grub hub? What is hobby lobby? What is 'the mayo clinic'? What is all this stuff? G…
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Goodies really should be made to experience every difficult circumstance the baddies have to see if they are actual…
So many people are like 'don't waste your time!' and I'm like 'it's my time; it belongs to me'. So, I'll waste it just fine thank you.Being a badman is kind of like being a Gunman except that I don’t have a gun.I love Batman!Neil Young used to be considered ‘Dad Rock’ but now all the new Dad’s listen to Korn and Fred Durst so that’s what we call ‘Dad Rock’ now.
Short edit of me turning a rusty nail into a beautiful miniature sword.
Retweeted by LukeSame and same
Retweeted by LukeMaybe I’ll just change my signature to read: “Batman”.
Last night somebody kept pronouncing Cher like Chair and I insisted that ‘nah bro, it’s Cher like “Der”’. And that’… people are really annoying hey
You can’t fake the authenticity of not knowingGoats are male sheep End of story
Uttar Pradesh ATS on Friday arrested Saurabh Sharma, a former Armyman for tradeding information related to the Indi…
Retweeted by Lukebrands responding to the attempted coup
Retweeted by LukeAfter I had my fill of wine last night I somehow made it up to the shops and today I just discovered a huge two lit… am unfairly hungover. I want justice
@lizduckchong The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, by Samuel Johnson.Let the past be bygones. @mickyb273 Ahhhhhhhahahahahaha
So many people I’ve met in life will bag out a stereotype so much they end up becoming it
People don’t generally argue against what they don’t want but more what they feel they can’t be.
Americans get hungry and like eat a chocolate bar and wash it down with some ‘soda’ and are like yeah that’s a bala… @lowesclothess I fucking love that haha @lowesclothess Hell yeah brother! Keep ‘em comin’! @lowesclothess This is good body of work
5e D&D with the Dexterity ability score
Retweeted by LukeSocialism is good because it allows people to not feel so bad but still keep their money.Time to get a haircutI started taking a lot of valium when coronavirus first started to shake things up in Melbourne. Now that I’ve stop… the friends I grew up with are rich and have started families. I am not rich and I am still a complete doofus. @hankreas Yes of course
Nobody ever lets me finish speaking before they interject and continue talking about themselves.Seriously though, I am extremely dumb.I just started to read some things and felt like a complete failure, and utter idiot. The feeling is made worse rig… new year to you all
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pissed off; going out in my front yard to pretend to choke on a candy bar and see if any of my neighbors give a shit
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considering various theorys of "Dark IQ" which is a sick & twisted version of IQ that can be really high even if your normal IQ is very low
Retweeted by Luke @Ze_Burnay Totally trueHave most people who spend their time online complaining about 2020 actually had a bad year? Lost a job or loved on…
Retweeted by LukeIf she didn’t get scammed by Kony in 2012, she’s too young for you, bro.
Retweeted by Luketoo many of you are the joker
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How am I going to do this? Hmmmmm.
We wish you a happy and safe Christmas bless you all
Retweeted by Luke @moltopopulare Ohhhh will it be named Covid? Covey? @moltopopulare Where did she find it? I’ve been looking everywhere for's Christmas EVE, not Christmas ADAM
Retweeted by LukeThe birth of Jesus is the “newness” that enables us to be reborn each year and to find, in him, the strength needed…
Retweeted by LukeI stop drinking and taking drugs for TWO DAYS and I realise YOU’RE ALL INSANE! It wasn’t just me after all.
Just preparing one of my big onions and milk ready to make bread sauce for tomorrow cheers
Retweeted by Lukemy grandma just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i was like “no” and she was like “well i went to a random funeral…
Retweeted by Lukei’m a c-section baby it’s never my birthday y’all i was evicted
Retweeted by LukeRemember to be extra kind to anyone serving you or working in retail today. Actually, lets all just try to be extr…
Retweeted by LukeHUMONGOUS
Retweeted by LukeIncorrect!!! life just replacing each addiction with a more manageable addiction until you die
Retweeted by Lukemade the mistake of eating a snack while drinking with the intention of getting disassociatively drunk or death dri…
Retweeted by Luke @kitchensfloor Psuedoephedrine
“what do your tattoos mean” that my mom won’t let me wear short sleeves around grandma
Retweeted by Lukeif u had a popular fashion blog bc ur parents bought u lots of expensive clothes as a teen i don't rly care about y…
Retweeted by Luke @Southgated Free yourself George Costanza!it feels pointless. to bring it up again. but if i am not allowed to bring my sticks inside. why is the human allow…
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Anti-masker: you can’t live in fear! Me, a person with anxiety: well that’s just not true
Retweeted by Lukedepression is weird bc it takes me 3 days to work up the energy to shower but once im in there it takes me 2 hours to get out
Retweeted by Lukeit’s hilarious how when people disagree with me they’ll immediately point out the fact that I’m a white girl and th…
Retweeted by Lukeif you’re upset about coronavirus or lockdown just remember every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland
Retweeted by Luke @cardamonfives Of course I am @SnarkyMeddler No, I love Star Wars, and I also like complaining; it's only natural the two go togetherThe amount of times people have wondered if I’m still alive probably means somethingWhat about American people who live at the beach and will tweet something like “marrying late is better than marryi… i’m an empath. i em pathetic
Retweeted by LukeBeing disliked is a great comfort. Maybe it’s like freedom. Maintaining people’s expectations with a view only to h… fucking sucks and sobriety is really hard.
Retweeted by LukeYou either have a naked window neighbor or you are a naked window neighbor
Retweeted by Luke @negative_niko This is a good idea!god i am so sick of being a person
Retweeted by Luke @EarthWillBeMars Oh, you just Google ‘paywall bypass’ and go from there.In my experience, when someone slides into a conversation ‘and I’m aware of my privilege’ it’s usually just a way o…
But really, pointing all this out is very unhelpful to anyone.The aesthetic is apparently a redeeming feature that most would argue saves it as 'just something fun to watch'. Bu… Mandalorian is such a forgettable series, lorded by people with no real personality or interest in anything pro… people on the South Side of Melbourne get upset if you say you wouldn't be caught dead over there. I mean, if…
i’m a giant piece of shit ama
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@TheMichaelMoran @willshome Actually, they probably are neededI am really mentally unwellAll the people who disparage the government also seem to be those that abide by it's perceived rule over them most… have so many more examples. What world are we living in? Why does everybody just plain hate each other. It really… I gave the dictionary set to my boss he started crying and his spoilt daughter literally said "I lost all my s… same friend chastised me again for starting a "go fund me" campaign to buy a nice dictionary set for my boss an… I told my friends I reunited an Arabic man with his children they all chastised me because I should have simpl…
Actually, the truth is I just had a heap of mad sex. Cool. Good on me. Good on we. Good on all of us. Why do I feel so empty?