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Journalist. Books: TRUE BELIEVER (@penguinrandom, Feb. 16, 2021), RINGMASTER (@simonschuster, TBD). Member of @RAINN National Leadership Council. Queer cat dad.

4,498 Following   14,888 Followers   3,320 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/8/08


I get that you can't freak out over every single anecdote. But we have far more credible stories of police officers… https://t.co/8XuTSlbglm
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @Joshy206 El Simpsón @Joshy206 fuck I typo'd but whatever it works @Joshy206 The Simpson: Masters of Teräs KäsiDark Universe Abbott and Costello would have been James Corden and Rebel Wilson and it hurts to even say that aloud
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @taliladd GaaaaahOh will you look at the time, it’s “talk like there are definitive answers to the question of who is a Jew” o’clockas if I am friends with anyone that doesn’t own their own copy of BLADE https://t.co/b47Voe19Mv
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןFirst day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol First night as a vampire hunter: oh no
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @voellig Precisely @voellig I actually liked when WWE was doing it with no crowd noise!The canned crowd noise in COVID-era WWE programming is the weirdest thing. I've played enough video games that it's… https://t.co/4Om63EGE2g @SamHaft That's the thing! It's clearly not written as a Jewish guy, but you throw in Reiser and it can't not be!!! @megsokay I do not doubt it! They are both very talented!Ok I'm watching the Bayley / Sasha Hell in a Cell now, you can stop telling me to watch itA leading rabbi in the Modern Orthodox/Dati Leumi community called out his community's support for Donald Trump in… https://t.co/Fb8ibhIC9v
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןsix seconds in and he shows you this....you know it's about to get wild https://t.co/zlib8qZRuZ
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןTicked off that my $240k job as a financial analyst forced me to attend a 20 minute anti-racism session via zoom du… https://t.co/hQY5qHVZby
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @petesegall Yes that is a good ptMost complaints about what Media Elites don't understand are straw-man nonsense but for real the coastal meritocrat… https://t.co/Ypc5iaTlJZ
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @petesegall No identifiable Jewish traits?? It’s PAUL REISER! @perpetua @craigtimes Holy fuck how did I never think about this @rapoportmike I have bad news for you about yuppies and corporations @craigtimes @perpetua My Russian Jewish immigrant great-grandfather changed his name to Sylvester Robert Stone; who… https://t.co/50IKxhlySr @bizmichael I have some bad news for you about many Jews’ historic relationships to The Man @perpetua In the script, sure, but Reiser delivers the role with such Yiddishkeit!The semiotics of the President of the United States replacing the national flag at his campaign rallies with a vers… https://t.co/kC9ke2pFmk
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןIs Paul Reiser’s character in ALIENS an antisemitic trope @Benhartman Never stop dreaming @AuraJustAura Thank u @alibomaye Different strokes @oureric 😘Gonna make my millions by doing livestreams of me hawking cannabis accessories in my living room while wearing the Borat speedoMy backup plan when journalism falls through is becoming a scantily clad stoner instagram thirst trap / influencerthis tweet is how i found out they discovered water on the moon https://t.co/UdSlqzZ1LF
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןNot to be that guy but uhhh I feel like these people all have something in common and it's not just their politics https://t.co/R9LtnKetnKVerified Lover BoyOh shit, that reminds me: I need to renew my lover boy certification https://t.co/hcieevQkFP @theblerdgurl HBD!e-girl and her podcaster boyfriend https://t.co/xM6VDx6msZI'm not sure why I wrote that tweet send tweet"No sleep, jet lag, smoke weed every damn day / Can't stop, won't stop, got me red-eyed: Andre / 'Mania 4, Trump si… https://t.co/XIpQ5JTYJM @Joshy206 I mean, it's a book about the wrestling industry, sotfw it's a lovely March evening in 1988, you weigh 520 lbs, you just fumbled through a rematch with the Hulkster in… https://t.co/KMiU8gXoRm*huey lewis voice* that's the power of death https://t.co/8p7m2oQuM0Was S Club 7 a cult
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן"I'm not much on rear-window ethics..." https://t.co/wPYCIZ1oRfSometimes it’s good to be reminded that I took my first journalism class in 2014 and it may as well have been 1914… https://t.co/dOKyZUDses
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןImportant to keep up with what’s happening. https://t.co/NFC0qcJpCu
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @lauraslesbian Test @voellig Two masks enter, one mask leaves @voellig OMGHow can a dying industry still be supporting so many hacks
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןwhere's my fighting game based on THE ILLUSTRATED POLICE NEWS https://t.co/H9oRfOQdzG
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @AliceAvizandum Now TANGYE, I can get into! https://t.co/7ggg3eTI7QWould you like to discuss it with the Hutts? I'm sure they can settle this.
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @Mottel You read me too literally, Rav @tonyspep I def still have the network, will watch thxmfw I finish the daf yomi https://t.co/8JCqLuSdfx @inthefade How Q are we talking here @Yelix @RiggedPig AgreeWant to understand why the president is thanking "rabbis" — for a letter of appreciation signed by the leading Orth… https://t.co/dHNKAK7oq6
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןht @jbouie https://t.co/JJthU50Ddq
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @anxiousbeefcake Have you ever seen that weird old pre-Internet mashup of Apocalypse Now and Winnie the Pooh?https://t.co/ybSSFMjv0s
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןThis headline and photo are the best short story I've read in ages (the article is disappointing) https://t.co/YOAJbNfhcY
10/26
2020
@inthefade It's a great song!What's YOUR favorite use of "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals in film? Mine's gotta be the end credits of SURF'S UP (2007)the organs in your body were put there by God so you could sell them before burdening the tax-payer funded safety n… https://t.co/cEQeJnlTb2
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןhttps://t.co/0mLwGpKiKx
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןSimpsons bits that you forget are from Treehouse of Horror eps? Here are two of mine. https://t.co/SURJIhmPp9
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @BadPostsLLC I know a few narcocorrido bands who would have words with you on thatI'm sure if I listened to a single episode of chapo I would either fall in love with it or want to gouge my eyes ou… https://t.co/X1LikUS0OTOne of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself was not giving a shit either way about chapo @leboism @uzionmain https://t.co/6GzmhQVBG2 @uzionmain SameAstounding https://t.co/IULF4cpL5AOh gosh we're going to get so many "why I'm actually voting for x" takes in the next week
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @SamHaft I was a huge Beck fan @Kristen_Arnett BIG samehave come to the realization that the reason i'm struggling to write essays right now is because i don't really wan… https://t.co/RvXG9bHFEx
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןSigourney Weaver, Roger Joseph Manning Jr., and Zhang Ziyi https://t.co/ypK0gnaqgWhttps://t.co/6IPTPgp5A9
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןmods are asleep, post Buff Lando https://t.co/Ov79jsnpQn
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןPrequel contrarianism rules, love to eat a big bowl of racist shit because it’s true to George Lucas’ vision or wha… https://t.co/U3sjUrAhvZ
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןThis is the inverse of those Trump ads about how Biden is going to turn America over to the far-left mobs. Do you r… https://t.co/WIF3v5TPqH
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @voellig Hope they enjoyed it while they could! @voellig I meanTruth https://t.co/xlqKeOwn4M @DieRobinsonDie @someguynamedmax @QuiGon_SW_bot Agree @leboism @uzionmain Wait whatthank you, elijah wood https://t.co/S7dM3GjZQ0
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @jessehawken The Devastator is the only work of fiction that makes sense anymorehttps://t.co/VtipunpzyQ https://t.co/JXHunUsEJW
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן @aprilyee 14 Plympton would never @fyefyefyefye Totally agree — it’s a hard balance to strike @doikayt 👀suicide prevention would be a lot more effective if we gave people fewer rational reasons to be depressed, maybe
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַןhttps://t.co/hgFdljqIJqVENOM (2018) https://t.co/zZ1YkWyquK
Retweeted by Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן
10/25
2020

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