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A Goldman @AGoldmund Miracle World

host/producer, @replyall. Your Mayor Wheat boy. died in #150. yes, that rodent was Zardulu. no gifs please.

2,082 Following   101,403 Followers   427 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/20/12

Said Chiluba instead of cholula once
Retweeted by A GoldmanNothing hits like being in the back of the bus in the 4th grade listening to the Tom Green “bum bum” song that you…
Retweeted by A Goldman @MilesSorce 1998
@OboeF I’m good @climbtheworld dialing 994-4644 into windows’ terminal program and getting busy signals for two hours, and then getting k… @EliManning @FranksRedHot I was just gonna take a crap @CdEskilson @Rebb003 @ScaredyCatsShow @HorrorVanguard Would also like to listen to this @lilmspiss High on life @VGFsYWwgT2JlaWQ Not for me @CoolMattDavis haven’t smoked weed since 2006 @apierno’m an edge lord. I love microsoft edge.
Retweeted by A GoldmanWhen I pass the joint, technically I’m Sharin’ Stone @maniacmeat can you tell me how you got the effect in Beast Sting on the vocals where the tape rapidly increases in…’s too many gecs
@winde_official It’s too many gecs if you ask meKids these days talking about 100 gecs, when are they gonna start getting 100’s on tests! Makes you think. @newcrosssss No I have no idea. I’m not a fix it guy @geek_blues @bouncingbabyboi Unfortunately PJ has already seenWell shit. My 4-track died. Anyone got a cassette 4-track they’re thinking about selling? Dm meMy plans 2020 about in 7th grade when I got escorted to the police station after school because they found out I was pra…
Retweeted by A Goldmanits called a bong cuz i "b on gweed"
Retweeted by A GoldmanOnce before class my friend said to me "time to clean house" and walked into the class his brother was in and just kicked him in the nuts
Retweeted by A Goldman @SchweppsRocka @PJVogt @replyall @heathervirgo It will not scare you, but it’s fun. The third and fourth are pretty fun too @max_rbmc @Luke_Hettel No I was just joking. Anyone who would abstain from firing Bret Stephens is dumber than dogshitSteve: did u guys get a good pic of me Dave: ya dont worry Steve: which pic did u use Mark: dont worry about it
Retweeted by A Goldman
My brain is cursedI’m trying to figure out how to have them to Pokémon go to the pollsRemember when you could post the pizza emoji without being accused of pedophilia? Oh well moderation probably would… when Andrew Yang sang the pizza song? Things were so much simpler then.Glad it’s finally warming up so I can transition from wearing the same pair of jeans every day to wearing the same pair of shorts every day
Retweeted by A Goldman @jamieloftusHELP wreckedA beautifully tragic response to my apartment rental ad
Retweeted by A Goldman @FormerBaby no gifs pleaseBillie Eilish? More like Sillie Eilish! She's crackin me up over here! @mdlau94 @PJVogt every other week @RyanDuckworth This is one of the worst @Cancersucks6486 @michaelrentiers @DarnaOlga @tomhanks @arimoin Those were all taken in my rec room @baquelita gifs suckLol forgot the link Ryan Dunn stick the car up his butt our location information is ending up where it belongs but so rarely goes: tech companies @tonyl Gifs are bad and flatten expression into a couple of meaningless glyphs. They’re doubleplusungoodThe Giphy keyboard/api is the worst thing to happen to twitter/fb. Twitter should think hard about how gifs are a b…
Retweeted by A Goldman @ohmyrocket I haven’t smoked pot since 2006
@Bobbycressey Imagine finding gifs funCan someone modify this to turn every gif into the Keenan Thanos gifYeah baby @PepperSprout There are no good ones @nealbsorensen I just hate the boring normie parts @muffin_train There’s only one good gif @muffin_train The one of that lazy laughing into a coffeeCan someone make a plugin that blocks gifs @kaylenalan @PJVogt Bitcoin, Ethereum or some other crypto currency. I think you have to decide that on your own. @bulkUSBchargers @debdrens If your bluecheck rage is diffuse enough, just threaten me. I will never report you and… @theMagicalMrE Are youProvolone cheese? Personally I'm more concerned about antivolone cheese @jordandeadrian cuz he wolfs too hard @NickMillerMusic He wolfs too hard @Frank_D3LL he wolfs too hardI wish he'd finn wolfsoftHappy birthday arthur russell
Retweeted by A Goldman @mtysonbro Perhaps I spoke too soon. I hate Pete the Cat with my life @RhiannonTripp @Scaachi @PJVogt This tweet is haunted and you will be visited by a mummy and a werewolf @nikotrotsky I was always sadI think he would like it, personally 🥰 now on you will refer to me by my proper name, HBO Maxwell @NickMillerMusic I have seen this nick. I think it’s goodQuietly saying “pooty frebbles” to myself and cracking up. Quarantine isn’t all bad. @GeeDee215 The woman from blonde Can’t think of one Can’t think of one The beastie boys Barney Rubble in that one fruity pebble commercial @peachy_kari I remember when he died. I’d just moved to Texas and I didn’t know anyone so I would just wander aroun… @hparker You are definitely thinking of someone else @ide_lol_ogy Nah it wasn’t that. I just didn’t listen to anything that wasn’t On Touch & Go @metaxylenes Oh man. So sorry you had to find out about them this wayI think I was like “this is that guy from the good will hunting soundtrack. I’m all set.” Moral of the story is I’m a complete dumbass.I never really listened to Elliott Smith and uh ... why didn’t anyone tell me. Shit
The stats dont lie folks. should just be cool with one another. That'd make thing significantly cooler in the longterm @COOL_GHOUL_ Ham @girlinabasement I'd say my most appealing thing is my eyesPop culture Monkey's Paw @googleymoogley I know a guy you should meet @mariromance This is magnificent @SonarJose they ever seen her dang face! Im only joking haha I think this is very kind and I hope everyone is doing well. @ProbablyExoByte Dylan, you've gone too far. You're off the damn deep end!So the joke works on two levels. Maybe more...Im willing to bet they also have some odd scarsThe Oscars? More like the Oddscars! Those hollywood types are real weirdos! @aanand @NickMillerMusic Breaking: Alex Goldman to be the first to consider postponing the 2021 #oscars @AndreaC32627612 You can say that again!HR LADY: And it says here under Emergency Contacts you just wrote "FIRE TRUCK" ME: [visibly excited] Fire truck
Retweeted by A Goldman @seanbiehle @PJVogt @weischoice @replyall I appreciate it, but we’re in great shape. If you want to do anything to…