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comedian. writer. now: marvelous mrs maisel. before: the president show, the opposition, triumph, others. alison (dot) leiby (at) gmail (dot) com

1,312 Following   18,689 Followers   26,217 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/4/10


@PiaGlenn Omg star-spangled fuck💅
3/23
2019
@steve_boyle Really very nice and comfortableA guy has set up an entire mobile office on this Amtrak car and is on the phone and just said “Yeah I know where Australia is.” @christichiello UM WHY ARE THEY EVEN OPEN ANYMORE JUST CLOSE @steve_boyle I’m wearing our outfit today.💐This Sunday 3/24, we’ve got a springtime lineup that’ll give you light hay fever! @AlisonLeiby hosts #NimeshPatelhttps://t.co/QfTSaD0ixM
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @ArielDumas Oh, I def threw in some gambles. @4evrmalone this is helpful. @rushbomb am doing this.When should I pack for a wedding? Is it when I'm super drunk and about to go to sleep? Great, I look forward to bri… https://t.co/nrg06mQnGG
3/22
2019
@alyssawolff yes, please send me your I-9. @TomAThakkar look, my tweets PUSH THE ENVELOPE @megangailey well not yours.It's 2019, I should be able to wear jeans to a wedding.Stop making new flavors of Diet Coke. The original flavor, chemicals, is already perfect. @KevinMcCaff it may as well be the only thing that exists on earth.Relationship status: just thought of a vibrator I saw while using another vibrator.Wow @TomAThakkar is so funny!!!!!! @HalleKiefer Oh fun good 4 u
3/21
2019
@HalleKiefer and yet it gets richerI can tell how therapy will go based on how dirty my glasses are before my appointment. @asherperlman she has to explain what he does for a living!i just spend half an hour trying to find this again, and boy was it worth every minute https://t.co/F889fS8rmP
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @asherperlman oh it's the most important thing of all time and worth the search. i should just pin it, honestly. for everyone.There's no such thing as too late. https://t.co/vNnVHygQPaRead this because Catherine O’Hara is the greatest aaaaaand because she said a vey nice thing about me! https://t.co/SgWC35f0V7
Retweeted by Alison LeibyLast night I got to host a show featuring @jess_salomon, @AlisonLeiby, @OphiraE, and @emmyblotnick who are four of… https://t.co/agKx5kAvwB
Retweeted by Alison Leiby🎼Hey, there’s no weep without you and I 😏 #weepcomedy #come2weep @emmawillmann @TweeterMuth @LukeMones @AlisonLeibyhttps://t.co/b069utrH7j
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI'm one hour into hiatus and already ran out of snacks.No one: Your mom: your dad was in the hospital last week but he’s fine now
Retweeted by Alison LeibyMen in Sephora on Saturday afternoons look so annoyed and it's like hey, all you have to do is hold an Anthropologi… https://t.co/ECbsOa3RBS @JulieHLevey @HousingWorksBks @92Y @MaiselTV @emmyblotnick @OphiraE @jess_salomon @joshgondelman so glad you had fun!Raquel on Vanderpump Rules is wearing a strapless bra under a sports bra as a shirt and honestly, this is her entir… https://t.co/MoU3haQ52pAnd tonight’s sheroes of Purim: @emmyblotnick, @OphiraE, @AlisonLeiby, @jess_salomon! https://t.co/QX6mwITVy7
Retweeted by Alison Leiby
3/20
2019
@steve_boyle technically you barfed outside my car at an intersection.It's great to see my friend @AlisonLeiby out there making dreams happen despite the fact that one time when I was 1… https://t.co/exTih3oq7l
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI talked with the ladies behind @lafemmecoll about finding my way in comedy and television and then I got to drink… https://t.co/NeZi3BxnBYI want to be a woman who wears cute silk pajamas but I'm way more of a "wake up and my bra is on backwards and I st… https://t.co/BnlKDgId5z @reformationx i don't have an exit strategy for this velvet dress plz helpGot a dress for this wedding and it fits but it doesn't have a zipper, so getting out of it is like being in a full… https://t.co/XN1hAj9MAPI'm 35 and I need to have my parents drop me off alone at a wedding on Saturday someone please send help.Huge news- can’t begin to emphasise how important this is and the kind of statement it sends out https://t.co/iBprtuIPKv
Retweeted by Alison LeibyI hope this is your whole feed today. Lets hook our boy up. Just saw him again this weekend and he’s back, guys. It… https://t.co/gMNq7EtHhM
Retweeted by Alison LeibyThis restaurant is playing “Foolish Games” by Jewel so please scoop me up in a dustpan to remove me from this business.
3/19
2019
WEEP on Wednesday with @emmawillmann @thejuliasolomon @LukeMones @TweeterMuth @AlisonLeiby Katharyn Henson hosted b… https://t.co/CQgwWexPY1
Retweeted by Alison LeibyThere is no good way to scratch an itch on your boob."They found plastic particles in the Arctic. Also, Shannon's pregnant." - every conversation with my mother.Pho is lunch and ramen is dinner. #souprules @ryschutt was it ever really gone?We have to go to a harassment seminar at work today and after it I'm going to be so good at harassment!I am confident I could not complete the dog obstacle course.
3/18
2019
The great thing about buying a new lamp is getting that lamp advertised to me for the next 6 months.My favorite plant is the cactus because it's pretty but mean!!!!!
3/17
2019
Living in New York just means being in the background of a lot of strangers' vacation selfies.WOWOWOW Tonight is the first It's a Long Story at @SubCulture_NYC! Come out at 11:30 tonight and see me host… https://t.co/14889DtrXz @joshgondelman WHERE IS THIS I AM ON MY WAY I MUST MEET THIS DOGI'm buying houseplants at a rate where I may as well just live in the woods.
3/16
2019
@JaredLogan @BryanCooking this is good content.https://t.co/7w3KbbC1Av https://t.co/VlE7ULhh5g
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @BryanCooking @JaredLogan I wish we were still talking about cheese : ((to the tune of "breaking the law") 🎵 working from home, working from home 🎵 @hillarydixler all white clothes are really a non-starter unless all you eat is water (i don't know how people do it)It's not really Thursday if you aren't negroni-drunk writing about how important @kelsey_kbc and sara bradley and @PadmaLakshmi are. @BryanCooking Oh fuck yes it is
3/15
2019
I’m BACK on Boursin cheese and alive again. @AmySilverberg never felt closer to you @Sudi_Green the good one @Sudi_Green which location?Today I couldn't help someone with something because I had sparkling rose in one hand and a diet coke in the other… https://t.co/X5FKeeDNlpI made an embarrassing typo in a tweet about trash cans that was thankfully caught by @noahgcomedy but I AM STILL I… https://t.co/VybyVCxeoh @AaronJackson85 aaron!!!!Everyone thinks dinosaurs evolved into birds when giraffes are literally just brachiosaurus wearing cute clothes.… https://t.co/gniSMeSYIs
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @johnlevenstein Oh. No.I think this was a dream I had once. https://t.co/aKMN6GpCC9The women on Real Housewives are all always dressed like they are going to five very different but equally terrible parties.It is absolute insanity that we all aren't talking about Temptation Island every second of every day.Nothing like a visit to Target at NIGHT.2 candidates, same mag. 1 is a 2nd term senator with detailed policy proposals that have driven the substantive sid… https://t.co/jN8brH1HnN
Retweeted by Alison Leiby
3/14
2019
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm hungry or just awake. @LukeMones "did a retweet" @karlhess phew, right answer. @karlhess the one by DeBarge or the other one?Is Instagram back up yet or can I keep feeling good about myself?And now with the incredibly funny @SeatonSmith! Get tickets!!!!!!!! https://t.co/MKP2Ee80sB @YAPpod this is just the tip of an extremely opinionated iceberg.Welcome to lunch. Do you want a bowl of salad dressing someone accidentally dropped vegetables in or a thing of dry lettuce? @Randazzoj no, but it was soft and moist (sorry) and I had it with my second cup of coffee and now i'm flying high. @AlisonLeiby 🎶I’ll stick to the muffins and the cakes that I’m used to 🎶
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @nanglish don't go poking holes in this tweet!!!!!!!!!!!! (I just had coffee cake)I can't think of a more underrated cake than coffee cake.I'm so excited to announce my new album Dancing On a Weeknight will be out digitally and on vinyl on 4/19 on… https://t.co/gnn1QEbBcI
Retweeted by Alison Leiby @nanglish maybe not a sketch but a real product. can you make me one? @hanna_28 why would her parents allow that?????Two different people in two different scenes on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ordered steak well done and that w… https://t.co/BRXP8KX4TqThere is something *chef's kiss* perfect about tonight's #RHOBH showing Kyle moving her daughter into GW.VERY FUN SHOW ALERT! This Saturday 3/16 at 11:30pm at @SubCulture_NYC, come to It's a Long Story as I host… https://t.co/0R7IDccQzR @raesanni there are two moments with this fucking bra and they both made me cringe so hard I fell off the couch. TE… https://t.co/LzAazPIRvFWatching Scheana show Peter her sparkly Victoria's Secret bra and him uninterestedly saying "okay" on Vanderpump Ru… https://t.co/0bAZggFHrtCelebrities spending a ton of money to illegally bribe universities when they could just donate to them is like if… https://t.co/QYNzFwR3jB
3/13
2019
@lisa_curry i take a minute away from it, then i remember things like this and laugh all over again.
3/12
2019

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