Sign in with Twitter

Username:

Angus @alyssashmalyssa Minneapolis, MN

i'm real gay and i write comics n' junk for @autostraddle. creator of A QUICK AND EASY GUIDE TO SEX AND DISABILITY. opinions and good looks all my own.

478 Following   1,704 Followers   11,693 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/28/09


ty to all my toothless dog friends. i’ve been really sad and nervous about georgie losing his lil teeth! he’s my number one. @BrittSabo unreal that a four pound dog can do so much damage to my nose. @BrittSabo i feel like i’ve tried everything! he gets a greenie every morning. i used to put that fresh breath stuf… https://t.co/bxWbtAUL7ihttps://t.co/L6Nqtg7E9Ehe’s my best friend in the world but constantly wants to lay ON MY ACTUAL FACE and it’s like laying w a dead body.will my dog smell less when he has his teeth extracted? serious question.well, @grease_bat is outta the house for the night so i’m sprawled across my bed with a crime doc, a bag of doritos… https://t.co/62i83e1eoNThere's blood in my mouth 'cause i've been biting my tongue all week. I keep on talking trash, but i never say anything.
Retweeted by Angus🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/4LTslc4bvX
1/19
2020
this is absolutely bananas. https://t.co/apzSDrukks🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/DzYl3WQU1s😘😘😘 https://t.co/EjuwqsTtczstg the more criminal minds i watch the more freaked out i am by how much prentiss sounds like ellen degeneres.and i am here today because i am gay. https://t.co/4T9pwu12X3
1/18
2020
😘✌️ https://t.co/KbDp97l3tWif anyone wants to come over to my house and watch brink // avoid depression this weekend hmu. @dat_briguyhttps://t.co/qW6g49fbrT @BisHilarious p good right? #noragretscan y’all even believe my ass wrote, drew, and colored a whole damn book? me neither.drew my next tattoo! verrrrry subtle. https://t.co/IlKJqMbncVthis weekend’s book is in the dream house by carmen maria machado. next up is american heiress by jeffrey toobin. @autowin georgies entire body reeks from his nasty ass mouth trying to bathe himself. @itsteensy i wanna be yer friend!georgie has to get his teeth cleaned next month, and i’m p sure he’s gonna have extractions of his lil front teeth… https://t.co/WjFSkXBKQuI AM VERY GAY AND I LOVE TELEVISION https://t.co/Glc06ywfrX
Retweeted by Angus @AssGay fire signs i’m tellin ya. @Grrrbz @grease_bat it’s v addictive! @AssGay THEYRE A SAG! they’re down.worth the rt. https://t.co/V1mUOWYpor @ChrisDStedman @grease_bat so fine. idk!me and @grease_bat watching the circle is just both of us making the other jealous while we each swoon over sammie.
1/17
2020
today i thought of every possible way that i could weasel out of going to physical therapy bc i was feeling low in… https://t.co/fsmRiiQcE3Sepsis — a medical condition that often escapes public notice — may be involved in 20% of deaths worldwide, accordi… https://t.co/wgEGxBwfry
Retweeted by Angushe was both the perfect man and somehow also “always rlly jealous and controlling” in the whole 40 days they were together.they never ever fought and he bought her a nice ring but it was kinda weird that he controlled all the money and wo… https://t.co/sQwuaWgjDWstr8 ppl on crime docs talking about relationships: they only dated a month when he asked her to marry him. he was… https://t.co/ScbUjCOFSIi stg my twitter unfollows people at random?
1/16
2020
i always say “don’t read the comments!” as a means of staying grounded and not letting the internet make you (me) f… https://t.co/jjgVa9TrGySo I’m expected to just, what, pay bills for the foreseeable future?
Retweeted by Angusgavin rossdale as vampire dante in criminal minds is my gender.criminal minds drinking game: drink everytime someone says “are we sure this is the same unsub?”
1/15
2020
Hey, everybody, it's okay! A lot of white men totally understood what Stephen King really meant and they're happy to explain it to you!
Retweeted by Angus @youbetyourwife lots of (1,2,3 click!) movie streaming dates. lots of facetiming and texting. lots of creativity. l… https://t.co/Nu9IgBW0qlIf you’re on @NetGalley take a peek at @alyssashmalyssa ‘s new book! Then review it! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 https://t.co/z9Ng8xCMPr
Retweeted by AngusNew titles hitting @NetGalley today! The Savage Beard of She Dwarf from @kylelatino and A Quick and Easy Guide to… https://t.co/TGXi1KP33K
Retweeted by Angusstill thinking bout how i would definitely catfish as my dog on the circle.but you know, art.or thirteen year old girls into the friend groups as objects for the boys to group fuck and argue over.interesting as you never seem to have a problem inserting indigenous people/cultures as horror props and cheap plot… https://t.co/MdCTRqcrOJi got my chest tattooed 6 years ago today and it still isn’t finished hahaha.the only bad thing about being obsessed with true crime is being deeply aware of the various ways you could be murd… https://t.co/VyXGI9fntBthe only award show that matters. https://t.co/Mn4m96I0iK
1/14
2020
@crymenariver https://t.co/4xMnnZX1Mry’all know bernie sanders is also rich, right? @BisHilarious dammit. @BisHilarious NOBODY ELSE LIKE THIS I JUST HIT LUCKY 69.what i’m trying to say is that i’m a fire sign and i want taco bell for dinner.3000% if you’re a leo, bc all ur friends will playfully call u a narcissist and then the REAL fun of unpacking it all begins.worst part about growing up in a family of narcissists is that every time you do something for yourself or think of… https://t.co/8qsKpbWKvUit’s almost as though the oscar’s mean nothing. https://t.co/HqzZVDDD5vhow tf is the movie abt the white guy rape apologist and the white guy mom beater racing cars a contender for best picture? @itsteensy @AssGay https://t.co/YsqI9yVrYf @itsteensy @AssGay HER. NAME. IS. BOBBI. 😭♥️i want everyone but mostly @assgay and @itsteensy to know that we are sending in another adoption application for t… https://t.co/Qr5Fndj5Qt @danascullyirl currently lol’ing at a fake boston accent in this epi. miss youuuu. @danascullyirl lololol prentiss is a cancer.
1/13
2020
first criminal minds question, fam: WHY DOES PRENTISS HAVE THE SAME VOICE AS ELLEN DEGENERES CRYING ABOUT DOGS?m a t h e m a t i c s .charli xcx + maeby funke = sammie from the circle. https://t.co/7oovc1hS1si miss game of thrones.
1/12
2020
@lilcachito it’s honestly awful. just cis dudes being terrible as comedy.like, i don’t own* my dog. he’s just my live-in family that doesn’t pay rent. his life is legit as important as mine.a fun fact about me is that i don’t think people are more (or less) important than animals.i feel personally attacked. https://t.co/UZ80YIEv8uSo today, using this hashtag my ask is that you pledge to #ProtectDisabledBlackWomxn. Disabled Black trans women… https://t.co/K7dhWHIMTj
Retweeted by Angus @carlytron https://t.co/e81YG124sH
1/11
2020
this. https://t.co/4cySBg7s8z @itsteensy @grease_bat @AssGay god dammit. hahahaha @grease_bat the new working title for my memoir. @grease_bat i ordered a set. angus andrews’ petty kitchen 2020. @grease_bat george on these sheets rn: https://t.co/gOr40BM9vq @grease_bat worst thing that’s ever happened. and i’m including the day you told me we didn’t need more plates because we “already had two.”
1/10
2020
i don’t mean to shame cavities. dental shame is bullshit and this is 💯 luck related but i’m never fuckin healthy. s… https://t.co/02wy1RBi3Ibutch i got a little tartar but cheers to 32 years of zero cavities despite lots and lots of opioids and lack of dental insurance."I found out early that I’m not always good at using my fingers, but I am good at using my tongue. So why not focus… https://t.co/bZJdPhKn34
Retweeted by Angusthese vampire puns and “HEYYYYY LAYYYYYDIES!” https://t.co/9Dmep9NuMiy’all we are watching this netflix dracula show and MY GODDDDDD they will let men write anything.i’m so bothered that we can’t portray mental illness in cinema without false empathetic portraits of characters per… https://t.co/ZvEGgpdzzp& from the literal years of my life working in this shitty broken social service system i can promise you that whit… https://t.co/GqA4F2J44nokay so i watched the joker movie and it was v sad and v cinematic and well done generally speaking - but also able… https://t.co/lT9a5IidWw
1/9
2020
Y’all don’t even know. @TheBrianMichael is just the absolute best and he’s blowing up 2020. 💪 https://t.co/UfDFrUHpDm
Retweeted by Anguswhile you’re all here you should check out / spread the good word on my book: A QUICK AND EASY GUIDE TO SEX AND DIS… https://t.co/IytYAQIbfKjake gyllenhaal got rawed by heath ledger in a tent in 0 degree weather and he didn't get one https://t.co/WiHPM4HwuW
Retweeted by Angus @carlytron you rule so hard. @shelbyandcoffee @grease_bat it did not. haha archie is a taurus.the way ppl talk about this makes my blood actually boil.period. end statement. no take backs.hi. if a person wants* to disclose their disability to you for their own comfort or accommodation, that is absolute… https://t.co/0Jn9NxxaA0 @grease_bat @superanne pshhht already on it! @grease_bat gr8 news i got an “i’ll sit next to you and watch anime w my headphones on.” #lovehasnolimits @grease_bat think about it. https://t.co/3OOOpelZ8H
1/8
2020

0