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Dark Lauramancer @amalthya Next to Carmen Sandiego

New Yorker. Gamer. Primatologist. Sometimes nice. Always friendly. Never compromising. She/Her Profile pic by @chalkyheart

441 Following   599 Followers   36,392 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/30/07


Happy #MothersDay! ✨ https://t.co/6oVr0X1D3f https://t.co/Uuc6IOHqbk
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @TheJulieBenson I make so many jokes specifically rooted from lines in this film and I'm so glad I'm not alone. My… https://t.co/US58wixhJo @myerman @hopedoty Happy birthday!!I got a mother's day morning just like out of TV! I loved it. Also it is strangely impractical to eat breakfast i… https://t.co/WNSwFQxZQo
5/9
2021
Finishing up a garden tribute to good kitty Gandalf. https://t.co/NIcKQtld8Y
5/5
2021
@davidhsiegel Make me a prototypeI saw a car last week that was, I guess, an SE model. I only noticed because the owner had put a sticker that said… https://t.co/PCzzRJ5h9h
5/4
2021
@adampknave Given his age it's likely a problem with his firmwareThe other day my son and I were talking about how sites have automated systems for identifying pornography at time… https://t.co/HnifUIssZu
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerI bought a happy dragon at @HomeGoods today for my own birthday What should I name him? https://t.co/ILsFHHyqZjWhat do you call running away from home when you're 41 and you own the home?
5/3
2021
For me it's falling asleep in an aggressive pedicure chair but same idea. https://t.co/5PmzgufaMCFor me it would for sure be the robe that #ScarJo wore during The Other Boleyn Girl. https://t.co/8AMPT9CjDA https://t.co/zpxj6i05a3 @sinboy Plus the whole idea that girls need to be "protected" from trans individuals. Nice feeding into that narrat… https://t.co/PaOyyuC32a
5/2
2021
I'm relinquishing control of the day post vaccination, much like I gave up on protesting the word "webinar" @rosefox I got my second today and took an actual real life nap today. Adam says he's "got it" for tomorrow and the… https://t.co/phbtg7oHJlJust got my second shot. Fully expecting to continue my journey around the four walls of my house. https://t.co/1yxJMHq26p
5/1
2021
let him out https://t.co/x0Qm3JRExn
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerDo I know any squarespace developers?
4/26
2021
‘There are short people, we make them small... there are tall people, like me, we make them tall’ v @dnahinga https://t.co/PjfH9Dsh2g
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerThe only thing cheering me up today is reviewing all of the ways that the koala is the stupidest mammal.
4/25
2021
this literally hit me in my college years https://t.co/RvsPUoSfV8
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerYet again, I've been spoiled for the @RuPaulsDragRace finale because nearly 24 hours later, @iTunes has still not p… https://t.co/j5RBx2NSa3I haven't spoken to my mother in six months. I haven't answered her calls or emails or texts. And yet. She told… https://t.co/TZ7tsCLzJL
4/24
2021
First major dental work completed. Ended up playing name that tune with the hygienist. Surreal. Awful. Finished? @sinboy Hahahaha. I mean those were prioritized removal @FedExHelp Can they make the website usable? Was any user experience testing even conducted? As an extremely tech s… https://t.co/orxrIP42KFThen I tried to distract myself from failure to book water park resort tickets by trying to send my impractically b… https://t.co/E3BbW1Xwzf @kattynyc Those mutton chops might have been a giveaway.Trying to distract myself from my upcoming root canal by booking water park resort tickets is not aided by the utte… https://t.co/Z3X8A4n2Jx
4/23
2021
@veryheathmiller Helen Elizabeth NewtonI got unsolicited newts tonight. https://t.co/6IENWsdiXi
4/22
2021
@NicoleAlineSci WHY NOT BOTH @sinboy The police union put out a public statement condemning his actions, right? At least? (The very very least) @jvfriedman https://t.co/MsbKARb2WZ @jvfriedman He is honestly the floofiest cat I have ever had. https://t.co/w4wRBOoOJhIn case you were wondering how my new cat from the shelter is doing, he's obviously having a terrible time here. https://t.co/0T2K0jOXxpI've been keeping a lid on the number of books that end up in beds at naptime for the #twinsinghs by saying "You do… https://t.co/cnaZW7sDRI
4/21
2021
@lartist @billamend Did they test to make sure that it can fit in the millimeter crevice between the couch upholstery frame @sinboy George Michael also claimed not to be gay for years and years
4/20
2021
food has no moral value. using terms like “cheat day” & “junk food” sets a precedent for attributing eating “bad fo… https://t.co/SLW6QNd6mZ
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerAll Godzillas are beautiful. https://t.co/cIdwyNf4gH
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @Kiwisaurus Oh THANK FUCKI asked the kids what they thought we did for work. They said I take care of gorillas (kinda still true) and that Adam "eats."I'm afraid to know why Tim Curry is trending. Nope. Nope. Nope.
4/19
2021
Spent four hours last night in the misguided hope that I could turn my overflowing closet into some sort of sparse… https://t.co/NBsgRqNKsf
4/18
2021
I'm purging my closet- I got rid of 30+ purses/bags and had to empty them out to give them away. I found currenc… https://t.co/his0wyrjhcIf you're wondering how to manage with ever-growing #twins, look for your local #totswap. Today I got easily $1500… https://t.co/I83Eh8xzXP
4/17
2021
I don't know what's harder -- accepting that I need to euthanize my very elderly cat or having to use 39138429 spoo… https://t.co/iNubLDIJQq @FFigureFBust Here's an article you can send them along with a big bag of dicks for assuming fatphobic garbage and… https://t.co/csWmfE1to7
4/16
2021
If there's one thing I've learned this past year, sometimes the only way to get out of your own head is to get out… https://t.co/wA6bpMfkPI @AlexFeuz Malindi, Kenya!i'm gonna say it. more people prefer dogs to cats because dogs are pushovers but cats have boundaries and will make… https://t.co/E5CmbOmwVx
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerI was in straight work meetings from 6am to 12pm today and I still feel like I need to do more today. Is this hig… https://t.co/wNnYhsBclzFight for what you're worth. I stuck to my guns and got nearly 2x the initial rate offered to me. Because I'm worth it.
4/15
2021
#AcademicTwitter https://t.co/Hgb4h8amHE
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @lingerie_addict I've bought so much luxe loungewear in the last year! My favorite so far came from Verity Anne (https://t.co/aK6aA6klcA) @xoder ONE IS FOR SUREReminder that Trump shut down the asylum process required by law and Biden has to restart it, still with the CPB sy… https://t.co/9RJJ1yjImx
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerThat time that I forgot that #PaulRudd was on an episode of #VeronicaMars playing his favorite niche, the drunk dir… https://t.co/LYpcYp69VI
4/14
2021
@catvalente I once told the bozos that the knot in a tree was a gnome hole and a year later we're in an epic gnome… https://t.co/9quXw8gJqMWanna see a murder? https://t.co/FeHBqwbCMz
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @adampknave I don't know a single person who ever went. Does it even still happen?It is so irresponsible to have THIS MUCH MEDIA COVERAGE about the Johnson & Johnson vaccine's possibility of blood… https://t.co/7lG3BeU7Il @adampknave EVERYBODY. EVERYWHERE. ... i hate youI hate this https://t.co/GX4vTFKUvg
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerThe new normal, in the middle of a meeting, having one son scream DID YOU KNOW A BONGO IS AN ANTELOPE AND ALSO A DRUM?Did anyone else get really itchy post-Pfizer?
4/13
2021
@adampknave Might be a case of confirmation by us on both of our ends @adampknave Arrested development? @kattynyc did you ever read "In the Garden of Beasts"? It has really interesting points that are related https://t.co/lrhvWXTLc0She's claiming this article was "teaching her how to be a better minority" and interjects in threads that have noth… https://t.co/1eCXS2sPdFA "friend" made some super racist remarks, and I called her out, and she claimed that she couldn't be racist becaus… https://t.co/6z8qwlQOTK @FFigureFBust See if you have a local #BuyNothing group because people are shedding baby items non-stop there as well! All free! @JessicaGottlieb @joshgondelman god I hope not. I'm still holding out for @levarburtonIn case you're wondering how my Monday is going, I forgot I had a meeting at 5am, didn't realize that it had been r… https://t.co/e9BTfM8XHC
4/12
2021
As long as Dr. Oz hosts Jeopardy, he should have to accept wildly incorrect responses as long as enough people beli… https://t.co/uqcyuEUZpK
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @katya_zamo OMG are you hanging with @VioletChachkiHow about this at the federal level,with funding cuts for states that refuse to protect their own citizens from cop… https://t.co/CQoqRGkzCj
Retweeted by Dark LauramancerThis episode of @MaintenancePod ISA MUST HEAR. Stop worrying about other people's bodies and worry about a society… https://t.co/vf4OfTw9vuIn discussion this morning during our international Among Us session, the title of Chuck Tingle's book about NFTs s… https://t.co/Sa6Mp10qYSBears are not lazy, they’re bears. That humans have created an economic system wherein every waking moment must be… https://t.co/RD3u1rqSQZ
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @Qsized https://t.co/lGYf2XHyQV
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancer @catvalente Or that messaging as simple as "you have the power inside yourself to be happy" is so compelling and co… https://t.co/TCcQkA7ZkQ @talkwordy Me too! Wow is the sleepiness real. @JonSimantov Wallpaper pattern matching: speed edition
4/11
2021
@baconator Or finds you a partner with different streaming services than you have so you can cost sharePlease don't feed monkeys. https://t.co/lvORpwbhMuI got catcalled today with the phrase "HEY ART TEACHER" so let that just be your daily reminder that the world is s… https://t.co/jOHL6s0ZT6 @KnowTea yeah but they were only whelmingI sadly didn't find any gnomes in the @thepotterystop #gnomehunt even though I walked the entirety of Lake Kittamaq… https://t.co/5DuSAFiBO3Multipass acquired! https://t.co/R2qHr8Jdp8Good morning from the best shelter cat ever https://t.co/PA9LndVQ1LIn twelve hours I get my vaccination and how weird that it feels so extraordinary and blasé all at onceWeird, but I really wanted more Carnivale https://t.co/sN9vHk6sJSMy ex left some cider here that he made himself and my nanny's boyfriend said "it tastes like it was made in a boot… https://t.co/noW5DsCES0All I can envision when I see @gottmik dance @BobsBurgersFOX @RuPaul @RuPaulsDragRace #tinabelcher https://t.co/eesMgClDtQ
4/10
2021
I’ll leave you all tonight with this sign from the vaccine clinic site yesterday. https://t.co/cu1s0fjX4V
Retweeted by Dark Lauramancerhttps://t.co/Mzd0XKBecm The #gnomebombing has BEGUNIt's #gnomebombing season
4/9
2021

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