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I did standup once explicitly so I could put comedian in my bio blm

982 Following   6,063 Followers   9,354 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/17/11

@jamiehyphenlynn My face misses u @pilau something: thank christ @jamiehyphenlynn gm @HotPaperComics @shea17 there's the problem @smithsara79 @LoganMcVey4to the people retweeting this: what the fuck is wrong with you @lylelaun babe what guy? you've just got hairy tits @lylelaun @EAmarir2 @dinoman_j Oh fuck off
@matchu_chutrain Ones gotta go @CrockettForReal @dinoman_j Challenge accepted @frankshotsaucex @dinoman_j HAHAHAHAHA THAT'S LITERALLY YOU @lylakaghat @dinoman_j ! @CrockettForReal @dinoman_j It's scientifically proven you will have more sex than me if you cop threads from @dinoman_jme: so how is everythi- america: @dvdplayuh @brinnie_bb wtf @sushipregnancy Ok Rissa yes @sushipregnancy Rissa no @CrockettForReal It isForeplay in Canada be like no I don't have any penguins Me: oh yeah? *slides him twenty* what about now Zookeeper: how did you have 20 penguins
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @RobDenBleyker @ArtDeciderKITCHEN TIP: To quickly slice a banana, push it through the strings of an acoustic guitar, and collect the pieces f…
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @chloejessiica @ValterSkarsgar Don't fucking encourage him @milkinhisbag I can't I'm laughing too hard that's the meanest burn ever @milkinhisbag that's All Fucked Up brolast night on stream someone said i’m built like amity affliction lyrics
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @nateandmufasa How big is your @ashhhhhhole @dinoman_j COMES IN TOMORROW. TWINS. @ItsLumberzack @EmilieErika see you're special @RobDenBleyker w'oahsex was so good he was left speechless for 2 months
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @RobDenBleyker huge if true @femaleredhead But @nateandmufasa is both @Ygrene @Holy_Mowgli I came here to post this, but @ShortSleeveSuit and @MarfSalvador should knowme: so get-togethers are out CDC: yup me: but a threesome's ok CDC: *nods* that's six feet apart @EmilieErika @videojames_ but that's Life @videojames_ @EmilieErika this is why we don't have game nightsher: stop talking about board games me: sorry her: shut the fuck up
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @dray_zanibbi So does your onlyfans @PatsATweetin @perfectsweeties I'm mad this didn't go nuclear. What the fuck people @ValterSkarsgar @badboychadhoy Chad it's alright I made the same choice
@crumbdecaca Same[first date with optimus prime] me: so tell me about urself optimus prime: well im a pretty big car guy
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @Kevincraven12 Look I'm just as mad as you are @chloejessiica It was supposed to 🐝 a quote tweet but I fucked it up. @abbygov I'm not crying you're crying @jamiehyphenlynn BEEHAVE an OOC frame of animation that seems fine, but with context will emotionally wreck a person…, 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝🐝🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝🐝🐝 🐝🐝🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝🐝🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 🐝 πŸβ€¦ @lylelaun Wait @sarawrencomedy Who @sarawrencomedy Torontonian no less @frankshotsaucex Why do you hate mebe there or 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @rudy_betrayed @dave_cactus @TweetPotato314 @thegallowboob Dude @dave_cactus Bunch of fucking Judases @ItsLumberzack @userjaymes @justky1018 ?me: good morning gc: no❀️ @EmilieErika Yes @EmilieErika I expect you to pause the movie every ten to fifteen minutes to explain what's going on @EmilieErika What @dave_cactus @BidenInsultBot Bring it on you son of a bitchused to wonder where the sun went at night. then it dawned on me
Retweeted by andrews not spookythe only way I'm hitting the gym is if I crash my car into it @lylelaun *starts posting my tweets from on top of the fridge so you won't notice when I delete*
@chunkyfila Man what the fuck @alyssabisscho last time I come over. can't be catching that shitme: of course I know how to find the clit I'm a geology major her: that's rocks me: I'm excited too babe
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @alyssabisscho ew
@pilau You know it's good when a cocaine meme page posts it @dray_zanibbi Vouch @shea17 @GouletEllie @not_kayley *read 10:02pm*
@sushipregnancy The Twitter app stays ON during sex @sarawrencomedy Why in France @shea17 @GouletEllie @not_kayley Ordering some @biboofficial If you didn't I'm gonna be sad @reganleecarmen @alyssabisscho What's your ring size asking for a friend @reganleecarmen @alyssabisscho R e g a n @reganleecarmen @alyssabisscho Hey Regan, how are you doing Regan. Regan. @lylelaun Mans getting bakedCowards
@liltayxo @snoopdogfanpage @dvdplayuh @itsjustchrislol @jaimeh2os @_comtois @lillith_s @susiesnoww @ncaister… @drivingmemadi You know he's got the best shit I guess you could say I’m into jogging J - JACKING O - OFF G - G - I - N - G -
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @spicycasserole delete this before she sees it fuck @justky1018 Wait that was my teen years tho @queenjoheen And consequently, people from Quebec aren't Canadian @queenjoheen @shea17 suck a dickthey look like this
Retweeted by andrews not spooky @friendoftoads W @ValterSkarsgar I stg if I preordered the X and this game blows ....I'll do absolutely nothing @iHeartMemphis πŸ”₯ @DrakeGatsby "start with the borders" what is this, lockdown? @femaleredhead @queenjoheen @memetazaa @desukidesu @sherrysworld @ashhhhhhole @internetanja @adamgreattweet… @lylelaun Can't believe you doxxed yourself. This bitch lives in Loserville @lylelaun That's just construction season in [redacted] get your head outta the gutter @drivingmemadi @Grayjax Yeah I'm interested myself