Sign in with Twitter


amy brown @arb sf bay area

parody account. not affiliated with the real amy brown

931 Following   43,959 Followers   1,857 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/25/08

this is a cry for help
@zandywithaz it's a lesson you don't truly learn until you try to tweet through it once @TimHerrera ok but the most important part of the story is their ceo's weird obsession with hawaii @lynaecook @TimHerrera we once got free tickets to the ohana, which is what salesforce's CEO named the top floor of… @Adriyoung i don't even know this man but i'm blocked too @westy2018 yes, exactly @tweetsyall sorry bud, time to get a journal @TimHerrera they sell branded backpacks and puffy vests out of the tallest building in san francisco @DaveyDennison @kurteichenwald ah @DaveyDennison @kurteichenwald that's literally all i know about him tbhthrow your phone in the river. start a new life. you're free now.i typically charge for this kind of advice but i've seen a lot of you Acting Out on here so i'll provide this one f… @ohonestly nachos friends grindr @annamelissa rude that you're out here accessorizing while i'm trying to remember if i wore this shirt yesterdaynot my insurance company trying to claim that giving birth “wasn’t medically necessary” 😅😅😅
Retweeted by amy brown @kateburning i dont like bubbly water but i must say.....nice cans @vigneshr4m i can tell i've been indoors too long because "an poop" is making me lose my mind
Retweeted by amy brown @StephanieEphani @kunibeard we love to see it 😭"The more I hold myself close and fully embrace who I am, the more I dream, the more my heart grows and the more I…
Retweeted by amy brown @w0a0i0f ruin my startup @andresdavid ahhh omg this is great @EymanHenry @CaptJackHaddock i beg to differ! we produced the dude who gave a long-ass inauguration speech in the c… @andresdavid live in ohio long enough and you too will wish to leave this earththinking about doing one of those bad tweets about where I live so everyone can yell at me uhhh let's see all chi…
Retweeted by amy brown @actioncookbook kentucky is ohio's pants, send tweet @AlexJamesFitz, simple: 30 under 30 lists are a byproduct of our society’s obsession with youth and are often skewed in favor… @evcon he manages the snaps69 under 69
Retweeted by amy brown @take5giantsteps dollar grilled cheese 😭Happy cyber monday lol Jeff Bezos is a wealth hoarding union buster and I hope a murder of crows carry him into the sun
Retweeted by amy browni went on a lot of shitty first dates at Bodega, a bar in columbus ohio. does this contribute to the discourse in a helpful wayEveryone on twitter is either willing to physically fight over bad hyperlocal jokes or visibly horny for like, Pean…
Retweeted by amy brown @timjhogan an hour, but it was specifically to go to the best taco bell in the world
readin up on quibi
Retweeted by amy brown @stouffers french bread pizza merch wheni could accept "ravioli" or even "calzone" but sandwich?? words used to mean things 😤at the risk of starting sandwich discourse on the website: i can't believe hot pockets have the audacity to call themselves a sandwichthey have the same middle name too wow
Retweeted by amy brown @MontereyAq yesWoman Has End of 'Sixth Sense' Moment but For Realizing Past Interactions Were Sexual Misconduct:…
Retweeted by amy brown @emilyhughes i didn't know i needed thisin bed at night reflecting on everything ive ever done wrong in my life @vigneshr4m very excited for the return of these @MorganWhiteSF approval on this joke from an actual dad means everything to mewhen the secretary of the treasury speaks quietly because the baby is sleeping? that's janet whisperinnot sure why @pasql is surprised that I’ve blocked him on all of his accounts but okay weirdo, keep harassing me, t…
Retweeted by amy brown @joeyabanks @TwitterDesign verify joey!!What animal is your heart? Is one of my favourite poetry questions. But I've never had an answer like this. Kyla is…
Retweeted by amy brown
have you praised him today?
Retweeted by amy brownJamiroquai
Retweeted by amy brown @rogie i am going to steal this doglook at how smug this motherfucker gets when you ask “who’s a good boy” confusing to me that da baby and lil baby are two different people
still the most trenchant take on coinbase. what a year for a cryptocurrency startup to decide that "politics" is a…
Retweeted by amy brownjack black in “the holiday” is a top-tier male rom com lead and i don’t think we talk about it enough
The national dog show is the golden globes to Westminster’s Oscars, respectfully
Retweeted by amy brownNot. Even. Once.
Retweeted by amy brown @itbeckons benny has great brows! @sistinechaebol it costs literally zero dollars to let people have fun on the website @Scobleizer @Tesla @elonmusk what the fuck dude
Retweeted by amy browngod really snapped when he invented the pomeranian. he was like “let’s give them an alive teddy bear that screams” @shanekealoha setting up a tour of the house and then just refusing to leavei miss philip seymour hoffman
@juliephayer i think about hottie trying to cook chicken in the microwave like once a month. iconicgive me a season of the bachelor with normal looking people. give me 20 women in sweatpants competing for a man who’s 5’6” @MorganWhiteSF morgan i need you to know this tweet made my whole day
@annievain overheard an employee at the richmond costco say they replenish the toilet paper before opening in the m… @round my mom still sends e-cards!representation is important and that's why i'm so happy our new national intelligence director is gigantic the team asks what our company strategy for fleets is @ me next time twitter damn’m sure that some people think it’s not appropriate for a congresswoman-elect to be shopping in thrift stores. But…
Retweeted by amy brown @Jamesb928 i simply typed his name into the search bar on facebook? @jeremiahjw but [pop culture reference] [pop culture reference] [nerd shit]wish he hadn't ghosted me so i could tell him how much i hated the bookthinking of him (the guy from tinder who gifted me a copy of "ready player one" and then ghosted me & moved to south america)#ReadyPlayerTwo is everything I dreamed it would be
Retweeted by amy browntherapist: your feelings are valid me: what if i FEEL that they are invalid therapist: [scribbles "oh fuck" in her notes]
Retweeted by amy brown @skenigsberg blackberry or peach @drmistercody perverts
@amrith the benny pics are always free!!starting a consultancy, for $1000 i will take over your slack and email for one day and simply respond "no❤️" to everything @chrissyteigen it takes six degrees to connect people back to kevin bacon, but in my experience you're only ever tw… have come to realize that absolutely every human on earth is from Ohio
Retweeted by amy brown @rogie empire records has a 29% on rotten tomatoes 😤 @icaito two equally important tweetscant believe rivers cuomo is union busting smh that clears things up.
Retweeted by amy brown @ChrisCaesar @rogie it was the best brand moment in that it has provided me with 10 months of entertainment every time i remember it @mayascade that it happened *this year* is really fucking with me @tweetsyall like watching a car crash in slow motion @MillyTamarez i admire their persistence in creating a campaign nobody liked and then also making it a full year longwhen they killed mr peanut and brought him back as a baby
@IlhanMN i had an ovarian cyst that burst and the insurance company claimed my trip to the doctor was "medically unnecessary"i may be stuck at home but at least i have access to technology that allows me to see the worst information on eart…
Retweeted by amy brownthe libtard demoncrats might try to cancel thanksgiving and christmas but they can NEVER cancel toyotathon